27. Lea
27
LEA
M y eyes fluttered closed for a moment.
My chest felt lighter than it had in months…years even.
I felt like I was floating on water, a gentle wave rocking me every so often. I had no idea a flying ferry was going to put me to sleep!
I only took this mode of transportation because the Kronos Portal would have been too conspicuous. I couldn’t afford for word to get back to Jax that Emma, someone who was supposed to be an outsider to this land, was suddenly traveling to his all but unknown little village.
The ferry didn’t tend to keep records like the portals did, and weren’t policed nearly as much either.
I was beginning to succumb to the feeling, about to fall unconscious when a sudden turbulence shook the vehicle as we ran through a cloud. It instantly snapped me awake.
I sat up straight and looked out the window, breathless.
The sky above the clouds was painted in gold and pink. It was very early in the morning, which was the only time I could escape for a while.
The clouds hung very low in the sky today, which told me it was going to rain.
Little dew droplets were already forming on the other side of the glass. As one of the drops ran down the window, I tried to follow its path down with the tip of my finger, but my hand ended up going straight through the glass instead.
“What the—?” I gasped, snapping my hand back into my chest.
The tip of my finger was icy cold from the frigid air outside. I realized that this wasn't any ordinary glass.
A mischievous smile swept across my face as a bold idea came to me.
I secured my hold on the grab bar next to me and sat forward, pressing my knees into the seat cushioning for balance, and stuck my head out of the window.
The air sliced at my face like sharp little icicles.
My hair flew out behind me, wild and free.
Even though I found it somewhat difficult to breathe, there was just something so exhilarating about this moment. It was almost childlike.
I couldn't help but giggle as the air rushed into my mouth, forcing it open.
But then the pressure on my face lessened as the ferry descended to the ground.
The smile fell from my face as I watched its touchdown.
I let out a heavy sigh and pulled my head back inside. Only then did I realize how wet my hair was. I quickly slipped my hands through it in an attempt to rescue it.
Other passengers stood up behind me and glared at me as they passed by, not that I cared about their opinions. They had no conception of what it was like to have one’s childhood and freedom denied them for the longest time.
I reached out in front of me and used the seat to haul myself up.
My legs were asleep from the long ride over here, and I stumbled down the walkway as I passed the ferry driver.
“I'm surprised to find one of you here,” he scoffed.
I turned and gave him a strange look. “What do you mean?”
“You know? One of the ultra-rich,” he explained, looking at me with eyes almost completely covered by his bushy white eyebrows. His brush-like mustache completely covered his mouth, too, which made seeing his lips move as he spoke all but impossible. “I didn't mean anything by it. It's just that I don't think I've ever seen someone like you on a lowly flying ferry before, let alone take it to a destination like this one.”
I could tell he wasn't trying to be rude. He was genuinely confused, and perhaps even a little worried.
A gentle smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. “In a lot of ways, this place is more like home than anywhere else. You don't have to worry about me.”
“Is that so? I have to admit, that's refreshing to hear. You seem different…you know—from them .” He motioned his eyes out of the front of the windshield as if the city of Theskin was right there.
I couldn't help but laugh. “I should hope so.”
“You have a good day, Miss.” He tipped his blue hat to me, and I bowed my head in kind.
I stepped outside and watched as the ferry flew back into the clouds, disappearing from view in mere seconds.
It felt like a candle had been lit inside my chest.
What a kind man.
I looked over my shoulder, remembering where I was, and let out a relieved sigh. I had been dying to come back here ever since getting out of prison, but it’d never been the right time—not to mention risky as hell.
I'm sure I’ll still get in trouble for being here, but I’d rather ask for forgiveness than acceptance.
I turned on the ball of my foot and made my way toward the small village of Dask. My home. I felt awash with life.
The village had grown so much since I had last been here.
The small huts had become small buildings. Nothing fancy or luxurious like everything in Theskin, simply neat and functional.
I knew these renovations to the village had been made possible by mysterious donations they’d been receiving since Emma Mirth started working for Jax Ransom. I was happy to see them making good use of it.
Even if Lea Nadir was dead and gone, she still wanted to leave a legacy her family would have been proud of.
As I walked down the main street, I saw that it was still a dirt path, but with gravel laid into it. At least the carriages wouldn’t get stuck in the mud during the rainy seasons anymore.
The villagers looked at me strangely—the same way the bus driver had.
I miss the days I walked down this path and felt like I belonged. In a way, I got what I was striving so badly for back then, to become a Potionist living in Theskin… But now?
Now I would do anything to get back what I had back then.
Unwelcomed in my own home village, I proceeded to the cemetery just beyond it.
The closer I drew, the more I became anxious.
My heart was uneasy in my chest, and a prickle of anxiety climbed up my spine. It had been so long…
For some reason, even though I knew they’d been dead for a long time, I still felt caught off guard by the sight of their graves.
The marshy, hallowed ground consumed my feet as I slowly approached my family's graves.
I knelt in front of the four headstones, running my hand over my mother’s name. “Hi, guys. I’m sorry it’s been so long. I’ve been busy… I’m glad I can visit you now, even if it’s only for a little while.”
“Lea?”
My blood ran ice cold.
I froze in place as if that could halt time itself.
That voice… It can’t be.
I tried to swallow, but my throat tightened and filled with sand as I turned slowly.
The moment our eyes met, the little remaining color drained from his face entirely.
Wide-eyed and slack-jawed, he simply stared at me, seeming unable to come to terms with what was right in front of him.
He was standing close enough to me that I couldn’t make any attempt at escape, he’d catch me before I could even get past him.
“How…are you here?”
Damn, there’s no going back now.
I stood slowly, trying to keep calm, even if I was screaming in frustration inside my head.
What do I do? How can I even begin to explain?
Nothing useful came to mind. There was only one thing I could do, but I was sure it would make the situation worse.
Oh, well. What do I have to lose?
I discreetly reached my hand into the pouch strapped to my side, keeping eye contact with him in hopes of distracting him enough so he didn’t notice my movement.
My fingers felt around the different shapes of the glass bottles until I found one shaped like a trapezoid.
My thumb carefully popped the top off.
“I know what this looks like, but let me explain.” I held out one hand to keep him back, but he was already charging at me with his arms open wide.
The expression on his face was one of elation, but I was already in defense mode.
I pulled the potion from my pouch, and threw the liquid right into Zane's face.
He stumbled back, wiping at his eyes, and hissed, “Lea, why?”
He called me Lea…
The way he’d said it, it was almost as if he was trying to breathe life back into her.
His hands then dropped to his sides, his eyes lingering on me as he fell to his knees. “What did you do to me?”
That was the last thing he uttered before he fell face-first into the soft grass and marshy earth.
I turned away, my eyes welling up with large tears. I tried to blink them back, but they dripped out and off the ends of my lashes.
I hate it. He thinks he can just utter her name and bring her back?
No, that won’t happen.
I wiped my eyes dry, wondering what I should do. I could contact Rowan, but she would kill me for even coming here, especially without telling her about it first.
I threw my head back and rebuked up at the sky, “How about giving me a break for once, huh?”
I don’t have a choice. It puts the mission in danger by not telling her.
She was the only one able to fix this, after all.
“I'm never going to hear the end of this,” I groaned as I planted my butt in the grass and pulled out the emergency tracking device Rowan had given me. “That's strange.”
The tracking device was already blinking a soft lavender color. I knew I hadn’t activated it, which meant it had to be coming from the other end…
How long has it been activated? Does this mean Rowan is in some kind of trouble?
My heart slammed against my chest as fear rushed into my bones.
A fearful shiver ran up the length of my spine as if the cold hand of death was reaching out to me.
When was the last time I even saw her?
I looked back and forth between the tracking device and Zane, who was still passed out cold in the grass. “One thing at a time please !”
I rolled Zane over onto his back, and dragged my palm over his face to pull the magic essence from the potion still wet and all over his skin. I never had to reverse this potion before, but I watched his sharp masculine features contorting as he was released from his paralysis.
Zane's eyes popped open and immediately began searching around him in fear and confusion.
“Try to relax. You're going to feel woozy for another minute or so,” I assured him, trying to calm him, but in no way did I succeed.
He sat up suddenly, and I jumped back just in time to avoid having him ram into me. “What did you do to me? How are you here? Why do you look like that?—”
I placed my hand over his mouth to silence him. “That's an awful lot of questions, and I don't have a lot of time. So, how about I just give you the short version: I got pulled out of prison by an agent of the BPR in exchange for going undercover to take down the Ransom family’s illegal business, but I had to fake my death so that no one would come looking for me, and I had to take potions to change my appearance so that I can work closely with Jax without being recognized. Does that explain things?”
Zane fell completely still as he listened, his lips pressed into a tight line.
His eyes burned into me, and I couldn't tell which emotion was more prominent in him: anger or relief. “So, I wasn't imagining it… I felt all this time that you were still alive. And when I met you in the market—when we talked, it felt so familiar. But you made it seem like I was crazy.”
A frown tugged my head down, my eyes averting to the ground.
I could tell he was holding back what he was really feeling.
The rage inside of him was something I could resonate with. He wanted to yell and be angry, but like me, he knew it wouldn’t change anything that’d happened.
Part of me wished he would yell and just let loose on me, though. But he was still the same Zane he’d always been—the reasonable one.
“I want you to know, that day in the market, I wanted to tell you who I was, but you have to understand that this mission is bigger than you or me. Telling you wouldn't have changed anything. I still had to be Emma.”
I watched his face change as he processed everything I was saying. His eyes might as well have been spinning from how confused he looked.
Then he placed his face into his hands and did something I didn’t expect. He laughed.
What kind of reaction is this?
“After all this time, I was finally about to give up on you today. How glad am I that you showed up to stop me.” He looked up at me, his eyes glistening as a soft sad smile crossed his face.
It was an unspeakably tender moment of reunion with my old friend, but a sickening feeling still turned my stomach. “I was so happy to see that you married Mair. I know she's always been hopelessly in love with you, and it's nice to know she’s been taking good care of you…”
“I knew you would want someone to take care of her.” It was the only retort he had, his eyes turning cold and detached.
“You've always been a good friend, Zane. Better than Jax ever deserved. I suspect that's why you two aren’t close anymore,” I poked a little, wanting to confirm what I’d been suspecting.
“Close? No, not at all. He is nothing to me anymore…so you don't have to worry. Your secret is safe.” Despite his derisive response, there was a hint of pain behind his eyes—something unresolved and eating at him. It made sense, considering how Zane and Jax had been inseparable for as long as I could remember. “But if you want to keep secrets, perhaps you should stop visiting the graves of your family. You’re lucky it’s me who caught you, it could easily have been someone else.”
“I know I shouldn't have come… Rowan would be so mad at me if she—shit, Rowan!” I shouted so loud my voice echoed through the hills beyond the cemetery.
Zane slapped his hand over my mouth, looking around nervously.
I pried his hand away but made sure to speak in a lower voice this time. “That agent I'm working for from the Bureau of Potion Regulations? She just sent out a distress signal using this tracking device. Or rather, I just noticed it…” I held up the translucent little stone—still blinking lavender—for him to see. “I think she might be in some kind of danger, and I need to find her.”
Diesel must’ve found out about her. What else can it be?
Without hesitation, Zane nodded. “What do you need me to do?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Zane. You have a wife and children to think of. Go home and be with them. Besides, you’ve done more than enough for me.” I turned away from him, preparing to leave.
“Lea!” He tried to reach out for me, but I snatched my arm away before he could touch me.
“That’s not my name anymore…” I couldn’t stand the heartbroken look on his face, so I turned my back on him as I insisted, “ Please , Zane. If you really want to help me, then let’s go back to being strangers.”
There was nothing but the wind and the silent dead to accompany me through the cemetery. It wasn’t how I’d wanted to leave things, but there was no other way.
Stunned and at a loss, Zane remained standing by my family’s graves as I walked away.
I forced myself to not even throw a quick glance over my shoulder.
There was no looking back anymore.