Chapter 27 Another Life #3
“Much better today. I’m at Stone House with Nev. We went hiking.” I’m sore but it was worth it. Worth it to feel human again.
“Where?”
“Down to Lazy Creek. We had a fire.”
“You shouldn’t have done that, mum. Don’t do too much. You’re not superwoman. You need to take it slow.”
“Thanks, babe. What did you do today? You had school? What did you do in soccer practice?”
“Drills.”
“Which ones?”
“Lots of stuff. Foot work. Sprints.”
“Was it fun?”
“Yeah.”
“Everyone nice to you?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you play a friendly? Score any goals?”
“Four.”
“Good onya! That’s my girl! How did it feel?”
“Normal. What did you do today?” Rainbow asked.
“Nev and I went to a theremin concert. Have you ever seen a theremin?”
Rainbow had never heard of it and didn’t believe it was real. “Can I talk to Nev?
Surprised, Ronnie handed the phone over. It was sweet how much Rainbow liked Nev. “Rainbow wants to talk to you.” Hopefully, Rainbow had gotten over her prudishness and forgiven them for sleeping in the same bed at Reg’s house. Rainbow got upset easily but forgave just as fast.
Nev took the phone without hesitation and put it on speaker. “Hey Gumball.”
A woman’s voice came over the line. “Who is this?”
Nev frowned and shot her a look.
She froze. “It’s Maude,” she mouthed. “Say something or hand me the phone.”
Nev handed the phone back. “She hung up.”
Ronnie stared at the home screen, feeling like she was falling up.
Nev clarified. “She hung up on me, not on you.”
She called Maude back. It rang once, then went to voicemail. She swore. This was not good. She stared at her home screen again, which was a picture of Rainbow as a baby. A shiver ran down her spine.
“Oi,” Nev warned, watching her. “It’s late. Maybe it’s past her bedtime.”
She shook her head. “She’s never hung up on me when I’m talking to Rainbow… She’s never cut me off before…”
Is Rainbow upset? Does she need me? Obviously, she needs me. Do I need to go over there?
“Relax. She’s not upset with you. She doesn’t know who I am. She’s doesn’t want her talking to strangers late at night. You’ll finish your conversation soon. This is not a big deal. It’s not going to change her decision about giving you equal custody.”
Ronnie didn’t know if it was a big deal or not. That was what was so terrifying—she never knew what was a big deal with Maude. One thing Nev was wrong about, though.
“She knows who you are. Rainbow talks about you all the time.”
Nev’s eyebrows rose.
Ronnie called again, no answer.
“Give it a rest.” Nev pulled her laptop onto her lap and opened a website, scrolled down to pictures of sheep. “Look at these gorgeous rams. Let’s make up names for them and rank our top three choices for next year. You love that.”
“What if she’s in trouble? She had something to tell you. What if it’s important? What if something bad happened? What if Maude’s been…giving her a hard time?”
“That’s a lot of what ifs.”
“Should I go over there?”
“No. That would be a terrible idea. You could get in a lot of trouble for showing up uninvited. Don’t even think about it.”
Nev tapped her laptop screen, drawing Ronnie’s attention back to the rams. The rams had been photographed against blurry green backgrounds by people with expensive camera lenses.
Nev could do that: take glamour shots of livestock, make them look like movie stars.
“What about that one?” Nev said, pointing to a Border-Leicester ram with a majestic profile and a bald head. “What’s his name?”
Ronnie pulled the computer onto her lap to get a closer look. She said the first word that came into her head. “Blue.” Nev’s eyes were a sort of pale sky color that changed depending on the light.
Nev accepted her laptop back.
“True Blue. That’s the best I’ve got. I like Border-Leicester and Southdown. I’d also be fine with Dorset, White Suffolk or Corriedale. You pick.”
Nev looked disappointed. “I thought we agreed to make the lambs less cute and fluffy next year so we wouldn’t grow so attached to them.”
“That plan is flawed, mate.” They would grow attached to the lambs regardless of what they looked like. All lambs were adorable.
Ronnie called Maude. The line rang. Maude answered. “Hello?”
“Please don’t hang up again.”
“Sorry about that. I wasn’t trying to. Rainbow and I had to have a talk about mobile phone safety.”
“I thought we agreed she could call me any time.”
“She can. I didn’t know she was talking to you. It’s after her bedtime. She’s supposed to be sleeping right now. Let me bring her the phone.”
She drew a deep breath in, then let it out slowly.
Maude wasn’t angry. Everything was fine.
False alarm. Over the phone she heard Maude walking up the stairs and could picture the antique wooden staircase with the Victorian railings and redwood banisters, so out of place in the otherwise dumpy old Queenslander.
She swallowed. “You’ve been trying to call me? I saw I missed a call or two.”
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
“Sorry, babe. Sometimes I turn it off at work. I’ll keep it turned on.”
“I thought you were on medical leave?”
“I am.”
“You’re hanging out at the farm not working.”
“Um, yeah?”
“What happened? The rumor mill about you is wild right now—I keep hearing stories about you getting hurt at work. Are you all right?”
She couldn’t explain the ectopic to her ex over the phone right now. “It’s a long story, but I’ll be fine. I can’t lift anything for eight weeks.”
Maude swore. “That sucks. Can you drive?”
“Not currently.”
“Maybe we should hold off on you taking Rainbow until you can drive again?”
Ronnie’s stomach dropped. I need to see her. “My dad or Blaise have been picking her up and dropping her off, so nothing has changed from that perspective.”
“If you think you’re up to it. I feel bad for sending her with you two weekends in a row. I wouldn’t have if I had known you were laid up. Can you still supervise her properly? I don’t want Nev driving her around. Like, that’s a red line in the sand for me.”
Ronnie stole a sideways glance at her friend. Nev was still oogling rams.
“She doesn’t.”
“I know you’re like the friendliest person ever and haven’t experienced stranger danger, but we’re still on the same page about not letting her be alone with people outside of nuclear family members, right?”
“Right. Still on the same page.”
“Good. Here she is.”
“Hi,” Rainbow said.
Ronnie felt her shoulders drop and her body relax. “Hi, babe. Everything okay?”
“Yeah.”
“How are you doing? I know the last three weeks haven’t been easy for you.”
Silence. Rainbow didn’t want to say. Talking about feelings was awkward.
Ronnie swallowed. Now is when she would have given her daughter a hug if she could. “I’m hugging you through the phone. How have kids been at school? Have your mates been there for you? Do you talk to them about stuff?”
“Yeah.”
“I emailed your teacher. She seems nice.”
“Do you know if it was a girl or boy?”
What? “Who?”
“The baby.”
Oof… Ronnie was not prepared for that one. “It was too early to tell, babe.”
“I dreamed about him.”
Bloody hell... Ronnie glanced over at Nev, who had closed her laptop and was reading James Baldwin again. “Right. Sometimes things like that happen in dreams. What was he like?”
Rainbow hesitated. “His name was Riley. He was cute.”
“That’s…” Ronnie swallowed. “You know I’d never in a million years have named it Riley, right?”
Rainbow snorted.
“I have to stick to the theme. It has to sound good with your name.”
Rainbow chuckled. “Can you take me to the mall?”
“You know I hate the mall, babes.”
“I need pants.”
“Mama doesn’t buy you clothes? Fine. If you go to the aquarium with me.”
“Deal.”
“Will you go to the aquarium with us?” Ronnie asked Nev.
Nev shook her head. Ronnie turned back to the phone.
“You’re a great kid. I’m so lucky to be your mum.
I’m sorry this happened. There’s no right or wrong way to feel.
It was super early, and it was never viable.
It wasn’t in the right place so there was never a chance it would develop.
Some people in this situation are sad about it.
Others don’t think about it that much. Some people brush it off.
And that’s all right, too. You can be sad about it or not. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah,” Rainbow said.
“What are you feeling?”
“It’s a lot.”
“Yeah.”
“It was scary.”
“Scary as hell.”
“Will it happen again?”
“At the moment there’s zero chance of that.”
Rainbow’s voice became quiet. “I want a brother.”
Aww… Sweetheart…
“I know having a sibling would be fun, wouldn’t it?
You want a brother because I have a brother?
Your mates all have little siblings, don’t they?
That isn’t in the cards at the moment. I’m not in a position to have a baby right now.
I would be a single mum again, which is hard.
I would want to be in a relationship first, and have saved up a nest egg.
Getting equal custody of you in October has got to be my main focus now.
No distractions. After that, hopefully everything will settle into a rhythm and feel more relaxed. Good plan?”
“I want to live with you.”
“Ditto, baby. Your mama will still have you half the time. We’ll live at grandad’s while I look for a place.
We have to think about what’s best for you long term.
Who can provide the best resources for you, what school you want to go to, that sort of thing.
I might have to buy cheap land further out in the Outback, who knows.
I might not be able to stay in Lionheart forever.
” The closest professional footy team’s two hours away.
“The judge might ask me to take parenting classes or something for all I know. We’ll see how it all shakes out. ”
“Are you changing your mind?”
“Not at all. I’m all in, babe.”
“Why can’t we live on the farm?”
“I said ‘a farm,’ not ‘the farm,’ babe.”
“But I want to ride Brighty…”