Serenity
“Congratulations, sis,” Quest said to me over the phone and I broke down in tears. I was forever grateful that he and Mehar had survived. Mehar had become like a sister to me and it would’ve killed me if she died.
On the other hand, I felt terrible for her, that she had to have an emergency hysterectomy. I knew she wanted more kids, but maybe when the smoke cleared she could have them via surrogate since she still had her ovaries.
“Thank you, Q. Listen, I know you’ve been through a lot but I’m so happy that you and your family made it. Have you named her yet?” I asked.
“I just never wanted to add that to your plate. This was my burden to bear. I thought that when Vivica handled it, it was dead and gone. I didn’t know she could wreak havoc from hell.”
He let out an earnest laugh. I could hear the pain and despair behind it but the laugh was sincere.
“Of course the most evil bitch that ever existed got some pull in hell,” he replied. “But you know we love you and would do anything for you. How is that court case coming?”
“It’ll be a while before I have a trial, but we have pretty serious evidence that this was all Vivica. I just hate that the prosecutors told Kayla about this. I wanted her to remain innocent. She deserves to have a life free of drama.”
“Well, she got that Banks blood running through her. She could never be drama free. But y’all will be okay. One day she’ll understand everything. But in the meantime, we got Sarai. You know we got our niece. And soon, Sarai and my baby will meet. They’ll be best friends,” Quest said full of hope.
“I know they will. Kiss Mehar and babygirl for me. Here’s Rita,” I said, handing him the phone.
Once I was off the call I listened as Rita took the phone out into the hallway where she exclaimed joy that Quest and Mehar were safe.
It would be a matter of time before they were both back home and my brothers were waging war on the folks that tampered with that plane.
Hell, I wanted to pull the trigger. They almost died. Whoever did this was going to pay.
But right now I needed to focus on the trial and Sarai. They were my priority.
· · ·
The doctor came by around four and told me I was being discharged in the morning.
Back to the apartment, back to the ankle monitor’s invisible leash, back to the walls I’d been staring at for weeks before Sarai decided to make her entrance.
But this time would be different because this time I was bringing my daughter home with me.
The apartment in Hartford was temporary but it was ours and I was going to make it feel like something worth coming home to even if home had a blinking green light on my ankle.
I was changing Sarai’s diaper when my phone buzzed.
Xander’s name on the screen. I stared at it for two rings before I answered because I needed those two rings to remind myself that this man had a girlfriend and a wedding to attend and my feelings about his forearms were not relevant to my life right now.
“Hey,” I said. Normal. Casual. Totally fine.
“Hey, just checking in. How are you and Sarai doing?”
“We’re good. Getting discharged tomorrow morning. She’s feeding well and her vitals are strong. The doctors are happy with her.”
“That’s great news, Serenity. Really. I’m glad to hear it.”
I could hear it in the background. Music, laughter, glasses clinking, the muffled buzz of a celebration happening around him while he stood in some hallway or patio or bathroom calling to check on me.
He’d stepped away from a wedding to make sure I was okay.
That was who Xander was and I needed to stop noticing it because noticing it was just sharpening the knife that was already in my chest.
Then a voice. Female, playful, close to the phone. “Babe, they’re about to do the first dance. Come on.”
Babe. There it was. Wrapped in laughter and music and another woman’s easy claim on a man I had no right to want.
“I’ll let you go,” I said before he could explain or apologize or whatever men do when the woman they’re with interrupts the conversation they’re having with the woman who wishes she was the woman they’re with. “Enjoy the wedding. We’re good here.”
“Serenity, I…”
“Go, Xander. I mean it. We’re fine. I’ll see you when you get back.”
He paused. “Okay. Call me if anything comes up with the case. Anything at all.”
“I will. Goodnight.”
I hung up and set the phone face down on the bed and looked at Sarai, who was staring up at me with those dark, unfocused newborn eyes that didn’t know anything about lawyers or girlfriends or murder charges or the fact that her mother was an emotional mess.
She just wanted to be fed and held and warm. She just wanted me.
And that was enough. She was enough. Everything else, the trial, the ankle monitor, the man with the rolled-up sleeves and the girlfriend who called him babe, all of it could wait. Sarai was here and she was mine and that was the only thing that mattered tonight.
Rita came back into the room and settled into her chair and picked up the remote.
She looked at me. I could tell she’d heard Xander’s name on my phone and was deciding whether to say something.
She chose not to. Just turned on Wheel of Fortune and let me have the silence, which was the kindest thing she could’ve done.
· · ·
It was past nine when I picked up my phone again. Sarai was asleep on my chest and Rita was snoring softly in the recliner with her glasses crooked and the TV still going. The room was dark except for the blue glow of the screen and the green blink of my ankle monitor under the blanket.
I scrolled to my recent calls and found the Maryland number from days ago. Ayanna Lake. The last time I’d dialed this number I hadn’t been the one to call. She’d called me. And the conversation had lasted less than a minute before my body shut it down and sent me into labor.
This time would be different. This time I was choosing it.
It had been twelve years of silence because I convinced myself she was better off not knowing me. That my presence would only complicate the clean, beautiful life the Lakes had given her.
But silence wasn’t protection. It was cowardice dressed up as sacrifice. And Kayla had already heard my voice. She’d already asked to speak with me. She’d already crossed the line I’d been too afraid to approach for over a decade and all she’d gotten in return was three seconds and a scream.
I owed her more than that. I owed her everything.
My thumb hovered over the number. Sarai shifted on my chest, her tiny body adjusting, her warmth spreading through my hospital gown. I was holding my second daughter and about to call my first and the distance between the two of them was twelve years and a lifetime of choices I couldn’t undo.
I pressed call.
It rang three times. Each ring was a decade. Then the line clicked.
“Hello?” Ayanna’s voice was cautious but not hostile. She sounded like a woman who’d been expecting this call and wasn’t sure how she felt about it arriving.
“Mrs. Lake, this is Serenity. Serenity Banks. I’m sorry to call so late. I know last time was… I’m sorry about how that ended. There was a medical emergency and I—”
“I know. Your attorney explained. Are you and the baby alright?”
“We are. Thank you.” I took a breath. “I’m calling because I’d like to speak with Kayla. If she’s still willing. If you’ll allow it.”
Ayanna was quiet for a long time. Long enough for me to hear a television in the background and a man’s voice, Stefan probably, asking who was on the phone.
Long enough for Sarai to exhale against my chest. Long enough for me to consider hanging up and going back to the café across the street and the silence that was easier than this.
“She’s been asking about you,” Ayanna said finally. “Every day since the last call. She wants to know if you’re okay.”
My eyes burned. “Can I talk to her?”
Another pause. Then: “Hold on.”
I heard footsteps, a door opening, Ayanna’s muffled voice saying something I couldn’t make out. Then more footsteps, lighter this time, quicker, the sound of a twelve-year-old moving through a house toward a phone that held something she’d been waiting her whole life to hear.
“Hello?”
Kayla’s voice. Small and clear and careful and completely real.
And this time, I didn’t scream. This time, I stayed.