Chapter Thirty-five
I open my door and hold it for Beth as she walks through carrying a half-dozen dresses.
She takes them to my room and lays them on the bed. “What’s the huge clothes emergency?” she asks.
“I’m going to a wedding.”
Her eyebrows rise. “Making friends here. Nice.”
“It’s not one of my friends. Blake’s brother Lucas is getting married.”
Her mouth opens wide enough to catch flies. “Big step, Ellie. You’re going as Blake’s date?”
“Sort of. Not really. I don’t know.” I slump down next to the pile of clothes and momentarily cover my face. “What am I doing? I shouldn’t go.”
“Which is it? Not really, or sort of?”
“Lissa—that’s his brother’s fiancée—invited me a few weeks ago when I was at a restaurant with all of them. She thought we were a thing.”
“You’re not?”
I stare her down. “I’ve told you about him.”
“Leopards can change their spots, Ellie.”
My mouth clenches into a defiant pucker. “No, Beth. Leopards cannot change their spots.”
“Has the man given you any indication he’s interested in anyone else?”
I shrug. “I don’t know what he does when I’m not around.”
“Yeah, but have you heard anything?”
I sigh heavily. “No, Beth. I haven’t heard anything.”
“Jeez, why so touchy?” When I don’t come back with a snarky remark, she adds, “Oh my god, you really like the guy. Ellie, are you in love with him?”
“Of course not,” I say audibly, the vibrations in my chest alerting me to the increased volume of my voice.
She gives me the side-eye. “Me thinks you doth protest too much.”
“Shut up and help me pick a dress.”
Her mile-wide smile tells me she’d totally be on board if Blake and I became… more. The question is, would I?
Finally, after the fourth dress, I settle on one. It’s light blue. Spaghetti straps. Above the knees but not inappropriately short. And it has a matching pashmina in case the venue is chilly.
“You are going to stop traffic in that thing,” Beth signs.
I do a little hip wiggle in appreciation of her comment. Then I look down at my bare feet. “What shoes should I wear? Heels or wedges?”
“Heels,” she signs. “Definitely heels. I’ll pick out a pair. I’m thinking silver if you have any.”
I’m going through my drawer of small handbags when I’m tapped forcefully on the shoulder. Ouch. I turn to see my sister glaring at me while holding the small gun lock box.
“What the hell is this?” she fumes.
I can tell by the angry look on her face that she was most definitely shouting. I reach for it, but she pulls it back, points to the engraving on the front, and signs one-handed as she yells some more.
“G. Lucas?” Her eyes blaze into me. “As in your idiot of a birth father? That G. Lucas? Ellie, what the fuck are you doing with a gun that belongs to him?”
My mind scrambles. Is this the moment when I have to come clean? “It’s um… it’s Sierra’s. She couldn’t take it to New Zealand, so I said I’d keep it here for her.”
Beth studies my face. I don’t break eye contact. I don’t waver one little bit. Believe me, I implore.
She relaxes. “Well, Dad would kill you if he knew you had a gun here.”
She puts it back on the shelf in my closet and comes out dangling a pair of stilettos on her fingers. They were tucked away in a box and I forgot I even had them. I’ve only worn them once, when I was ‘Miss November’ for a fundraising calendar my school did four years ago.
“No,” I say emphatically.
“Yes.” She nods, equally insistent.
“Beth, I’ll probably be chasing Maisy around all afternoon. Those are so impractical.”
“Are you going as Blake’s date or Maisy’s babysitter?”
“His date, but—”
“There!” She pumps a fist. “You said it, not me.”
I roll my eyes. “Fine, so maybe technically I’ll be his date. But he’s in the wedding party. And so is his sister, and his parents have duties. It makes sense that I sit with Maisy.”
“Excuses, excuses.” She shoves the heels in my face. “Wear them. He’ll go nuts.”
I purse my lips.
“What?” she says and signs, motioning at the pile of dresses on the bed. “You didn’t go through all of this to impress a four-year—”
One of the big advantages of being deaf is I can simply turn away and end any conversation. It goes both ways, however. When we were young, if Beth and I were fighting and she didn’t like what I was signing, she’d turn off the lights. It was super annoying. As I’m sure the adolescent behavior I just displayed is.
Beth follows me to the kitchen, waiting while I get a Diet Coke from the fridge and lean against the counter. She doesn’t talk, she just stares. Then something catches her eye, and before I can get to it, she’s holding the tiny slip of paper in her hand. It’s the fortune Blake left that night. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away.
“Your heart knows the right answer,” she says, reading it. She looks up. “Mom and Dad rubbing off on you?”
I snatch the slip of paper and throw it in the trash, annoyed that I know I’ll be fishing through garbage to find it as soon as Beth is out the door.
“You’re unbelievable,” she pouts. “You are totally in love with him and you’re so stubborn you won’t admit it. He’s not like the guys in high school, Ellie.”
For the second time, I turn away, not wanting to have this conversation.
A gentle hand lands on my shoulder. She walks around me so I can see her, the depth of her warm gaze tells me the third degree is over and she’s back to being my supportive little sister. “Come on, I’ll do your makeup.”
~ ~ ~
I gape at the limousine Blake sent for me. I told him not to pick me up since he has best man duties to contend with, but he insisted on sending a car. I thought he meant an Uber. It’s not that I haven’t been in limos before—I’ve been in plenty when going to the premieres of Uncle Chad’s movies—but still, it’s surreal that he sent it just for me.
Looking out the window as we approach the vineyard, I’m amazed at the wedding decorations. They begin all the way at the sign out on the main road. Tulle and bows adorn every fence post lining the long winding driveway leading to the events venue. It makes me wonder if they went all out for Lucas’s first two weddings.
Lissa must be beside herself wondering if she’s going to be just another name on his long list of failed relationships. But from what I’ve picked up, most of the town believes this is the one that will stick. Lissa seems nice and is someone I’d like to get to know. For her sake, I hope they’re right.
Maisy, Allie, and Sarah are standing out front. Maisy loves wearing dresses, but this one takes the cake. She looks like a complete angel, straight from the gates of heaven. I’m not even sure she understands what today is, but she seems excited nonetheless.
I get out of the limo and she skips over, wrapping me in one of her usual all-encompassing hugs. I smile down at her and sign, “Beautiful Maisy.”
She points out the big pink bow on her hip and twirls around. Then she touches the sequins lining the hem of my dress. “Beautiful Ellie.”
“Thank you,” I sign.
“Ellie, you’re simply gorgeous,” Sarah gushes.
“Wow,” Allie says. “My brother is going to flip.”
I feel the heat creep across my face as the two women share a look.
A very attractive and somewhat familiar-looking man comes out of the building. Blake trails behind him, stopping dead when he sees me. It’s almost comical the way his eyes bug out, like a cartoon even, and it does nothing to tamp down my blush.
“Ellie,” he says, winking as he uses my name sign. “This is Dallas.”
No wonder the man looks familiar. “Nice to meet you,” I sign.
I’m taken aback when he signs it back to me. When he sees my expression, he signs, “Deaf niece. I practice.”
“Very good.” I smile, pleased to see Dallas eager to learn. I know Blake was worried about how he might react to his niece. But he seems to be handling it very well. On the surface anyway.
Blake steps forward, takes my hand as if it’s the most natural thing, then drops it almost immediately, looking down at Maisy. It’s like he forgot we’re surrounded by people. But his little girl is very observant. She noticed. Her eyes are staring at our hands, almost willing them to join again.
She scampers inside. When she comes back out again, she hands me a drawing. It’s one we did together when I was trying to explain marriage. I did a decent job of drawing her uncle and Lissa, but I’m no artist. She shoves the picture at me and points to Blake then me then the picture.
It takes a moment for the crowd around us to catch up with what I understood immediately. She thinks Blake and I are getting married. My throat lurches with a hard swallow. I move my head from side to side, wishing Lucas and Lissa were somewhere near so I could correct her.
Allie’s shoulders shake and laughter dances in her eyes. “Oh my gosh, she thinks the two of you are getting married.”
My face is so hot that not even a snowball could lower my temperature.
When Blake’s eyes meet mine, it’s apparent he doesn’t think it’s so funny. I’m familiar with the expression though. It’s the same one I saw when our eyes first connected months ago in Truman’s grocery. And the one that was on his face the first time he made love to me.
Two things happen simultaneously: a rush of emotion flows through me, and a bolt of terror.
I break our stare and look around at the four dumbstruck onlookers.
“Come on, Maisy,” I sign. “We will go watch.”
We step inside to where guests are being seated. I’m touched from behind a moment before Blake comes around the front of me. “Sorry about that,” he says. “Kids.” He rolls his eyes. “I’ll find you after. You and Maisy can sit in the second row, right behind my parents.” He thumbs to the hallway. “I have to go make sure Lucas is still chained to the desk where I left him.” He laughs at his joke and walks away.
As Maisy and I are escorted to the second row, I take in the event hall. I’ve only been in here once, the day I had a tour of the winery. It’s been transformed into a stunning wedding venue. A hundred padded wooden chairs have been draped with white chair sashes and decorated with greenery and flowers. The aisle is a beautiful lattice-patterned runner that must be thirty yards long, extending from the doors to the altar. And the altar… wow, it’s an archway made up of what must be thousands of flowers that complement the ones on the chairs. It’s a truly magical sight.
But what delights me the most—what has my chest tightening and my eyes misting—is not any of the decorations, it’s the person standing off to the side of the altar. It’s Hannah. Blake hired an interpreter.
Hannah waves and tells me I look pretty.
“How many deaf here?” I ask.
“Just you.”
Just me? He hired an interpreter for me? Well, for Maisy and me. But really, for me. A four-year-old wouldn’t get much out of a wedding ceremony. I’m not sure why this surprises me. This is Blake Montana we’re talking about. Despite his reputation, he’s got the kindest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. Of course he hired an interpreter.
My mind goes back to the way he was looking at me outside. I tell myself it’s a wedding. Weddings always make people emotional. It’s one of the reasons I probably shouldn’t have come. People already have the wrong idea about what I am to Blake. And I’m not about to make the same mistakes as any one of Lucas’s long string of exes, who each had false hope of a happy ever after.
Putting those thoughts aside for now, I watch the string quartet in the far corner, imagining they’re playing some sort of love song. I just know Maisy is itching to run over and put her hand on one of the violins. She loves instruments of all kinds. Each one produces different vibrations. Feeling sounds has become one of her favorite things. She does it as obsessively as teenagers check their cell phones. Blake’s workout room has become home to a small set of drums, an electronic keyboard, a guitar, and Dallas’s old saxophone, which apparently he played in middle school. There are plenty of deaf musicians. Will she want to be one?
I regard Maisy as she stares at the quartet, wondering just who and what she’ll be in twenty years. And a wave of sadness washes over me when I realize I might not ever know. No—not a wave. A tsunami.
Heads turn, so I look behind us to see Blake escorting one of his grandmothers to the front row. Dallas is behind him escorting the other. Their sole living grandfather follows. Blake winks at Maisy, then me, as he passes and circles back around to the rear.
Next, Allie and Sarah are escorted by Blake’s dad, and they all take the remaining empty seats in front of us.
The minister comes out of a side door and takes his place behind the flower altar. If I could hear, I’d bet there is a collective moment of breath-holding as people await Lucas to come from the same door and take his place. I find I’m holding my own breath when seconds pass without anyone coming through the door.
Seconds become minutes. People start whispering to each other.
Allie says something to her mom and when her mom turns slightly, I can see worried lines etched in her forehead.
I look behind me. I’m annoyed to see a few people laughing. I can only hope they’re doing it silently. A guy a few rows back hands money to the man sitting next to him.
I stare at the altar. Surely he’s going to show.
Blake’s dad stands and rushes to the door we all expected Lucas to emerge from. When the door is opened, I catch a glimpse of Blake and Dallas, who appear to be arguing.
Allie turns. “It’s not looking good,” she signs.
My shoulders slump. Poor Lissa.
The next few minutes are some of the longest, most uncomfortable minutes I’ve ever experienced. Is Lissa out front on her father’s arm waiting to be walked down the aisle? What must she be thinking? Is she thinking the day of her wedding just turned into a nightmare? Is Lucas dumping her as we sit here? Or did he simply disappear? Or maybe he’s just having cold feet and his brothers are talking sense into him.
The side door opens, and I feel a momentary sense of relief. But only one person comes through. Blake’s father. He walks to the minister and whispers something, then turns to the crowd.
“I apologize,” Hannah interprets. “It looks like there’s not going to be a wedding today.” Chris’s eyes grow dark with anger, making me think there was laughter or chatter at his declaration. “For any of you who think this is funny, please remember there is an amazing woman who thought this day was going to be the best day of her life. And for those of you wishing ill for my son, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him yet again. We all thought this one was going to be it. I offer no excuses except to say that… maybe he just hasn’t found his true soulmate. I’m sorry.” He motions to the opposite door. “I know this isn’t a day of celebration, but I invite you to eat and drink and try to enjoy what’s left of the day as we try to find our son and console Lissa.”
Nobody moves for a good ten seconds. Then there is a parting of ways. Most of Lissa’s friends and family leave while most of Lucas’s go through the door to the reception hall. I guess they’re used to this.
When I stand, Maisy looks up in confusion. Oh, boy. How do I explain this? Instead of trying, I just sign, “Let’s go. We’ll eat and dance.”
At the word dance, I see excitement in her eyes. I know the first thing she’ll do is find a speaker, wrap her body around it as tightly as she can, and then release it, staying close to feel the music as she dances like only a four-year-old can.
Once through the doors, waiters stand at the ready, handing out champagne. I reluctantly accept a glass. It’s hardly a celebration. Allie scoops up two and sidles up next to me. Then she realizes she can’t sign with her hands full and deposits them on the nearest table. “Might as well make the most of the night. There’s all this great food and wine.” She signs as much as she can, and I lip read the rest. “Besides, this wasn’t entirely unexpected.”
“I’m sorry,” I sign. “I know you were hoping Lissa would be the one.”
Blake walks up next to me, a sad smile on his face. Dallas accompanies him.
I catch bits and pieces of the conversation between the three siblings. It doesn’t escape me how Blake keeps encouraging them to face me while speaking so I can feel more included.
“Where is he?” Allie asks.
Dallas shrugs then shouts angrily at Blake. They have a disagreement and Blake says something about it not being his fault.
“Can you stay with Maisy?” Blake asks, begging me with his eyes. “I want to see if I can find Lucas.”
“Yes. Of course. You should be with your family.”
“Thank you,” he signs, then downs a shot being handed to him right before he and Dallas take off through the front door.