40. Ella
40
ELLA
T he girls stayed until Mason texted Lana saying Bodhi was on his way home. The guys had intercepted him once he’d crossed the line into Blackstone Falls—for his own good, I was told. The logical part of me understood Bodhi needed that time to decompress, but it didn’t change the way I ached to see him.
I’d been relieved when headlights had illuminated the room. But he didn’t move. Even now, darkness looms in the cab of the truck, and while I’m hidden by the shadows in the living room, it feels like he’s staring right at me.
Come inside.
I want to scream the words and will him to move. All day had been a waiting game, the tension ebbing for only a short time before ratcheting up again.
But I don’t have to wait.
Not anymore.
Shoving my feet into my boots, I throw open the front door and race down the porch steps. It must’ve been the push he needed because he’s out of the truck before I’ve even hit the driveway.
Without thinking, I jump into his arms, wrapping myself around him as he holds me tight against him, his steps confident and sure as he walks us back into the house.
”I’m sorry you had such a hard day,” I whisper against his neck, his boot connecting with the door as he slams it closed before walking to the couch and dropping down onto it.
“I’m so damn tired.” He swallows hard. “Today fucked me up and part of me knows it’s not fair to drag you through this, not knowing how long it’ll take before it?—”
“I know you’re not trying to break up with me, Bodhi Maxwell,” I snap, sitting back with my hands on my hips as I glare at him.
“That’s not?—”
“Oh no,” I draw out the words as I poke my finger into his breastbone. “You don’t give a girl your virginity and send her on her way, no sir. We’re locked in, you and me, because this is amazing and you’re not going to take that away because today was hard and you’re hurting. That’s not how relationships work.”
“Baby,” he laughs, the sound weary as he cups my face and pulls me in for a kiss. “You gotta let me finish.”
“I was scared,” I admit and he nods, brushing the loose strands of my hair behind my ear.
“Me too. But you want to know what I can’t stop thinking about?”
“What’s that?”
“How I’ll survive falling in love with you.”
The words have me in a chokehold—this sweet, beautiful man.
“You won’t. You’ll fall hard and you’ll let me be the one to catch you. You’ll let me see the boy that turned into the man I can’t get enough of. And you’ll let me be the one who loves you back, who sees you on your good days and loves you harder on the bad ones. You let me in, Bodhi, and you let me walk with you.”
“There will be more days like this.”
“I want them all. I’m not leaving, Bodhi. Your past is messy and even without knowing all of it, I know my heart breaks for you. But I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d burn the world down to protect you. I see your kindness and I feel your strength. You’re not broken—you just haven’t given yourself permission to live.”
His mouth is hard against mine, there and gone in a second before he pulls back, choking on a sob as he crushes me against his chest before burying his face in my hair.
He’s silent, his body shaking as he holds me tighter, his tears hot on my skin, and my heart breaks all over.
Has anyone ever held him like this?
Has no one seen how badly he’s hurting?
But they have—Sorren and Rhea, Mason and the guys, the girls and the kids and so many more.
They all have.
And they knew that we’d somehow make it here, that we’d somehow make it through, that I’d be the one to make him see how much he brings to this world.
“Say you’re mine,” I whisper.
“I never want to be anyone else’s,” he says, pulling back and not shying away when I wipe the wetness from his cheeks. “I love you, Ella, more than I ever thought possible. More than I ever thought I deserved.”
“You deserve it all. And I promise to show you every single day. I…” Emotions clog my throat as I stare at the man who stole my heart, the one who had simply been a crush but turned out to be so much more. “I love you, and I never realized how much I’d been missing out on.”
“Not anymore.”
“Because we’re way past falling, huh?” I tease, and his expression is tired but hope flickers in his eyes.
“It’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done; I was just scared it was gonna be ripped away.”
“And what do you think now?”
“I think I’d like a shower and to fall asleep with you in my arms,” he says, kissing me slowly, “and then tomorrow I’d like to figure out how to start living for the next sixty years.”
“It’s going to be amazing.”
“Because you’re everything.”