Chapter 12 #2
ELI: It’s fine. You’d make a really good mom. Just make sure you teach him how to play baseball, okay? I always wanted to teach my kids baseball. I’m going to miss that.
My heart clenches. I glance up at the wall, at the photo of my nieces. I could almost laugh that he’s joking about this.
REESE: I don’t know the first thing about baseball.
The next text is a gif from The Little Mermaid of Sebastian the crab’s jaw falling open, and I do laugh at that one, hard. I hadn’t forgotten how obsessed Eli was with baseball.
ELI: Well, Eli Jr. and I will just have to teach you.
REESE: What makes you think your firstborn won’t be a girl?
ELI: Sorry, Reese Jr.
I freeze, my stomach doing a barrel roll.
Three dots pop up, then disappear.
Then they pop up again.
ELI: I’m sorry, Reese.
I hesitate before typing a reply out with fingers that feel slightly shaky.
REESE: It’s okay. Just jokes.
ELI: No, I’m sorry about the kiss.
I almost laugh. He isn’t even phased about the kid comment. Then my heart skips against my ribs as I take in what he’s just written.
REESE: It’s fine. You didn’t act alone. We were a little tipsy and got carried away.
I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince. My thumbs hover over the screen.
REESE: But we shouldn’t break the rules again. It’s too complicated.
ELI: We didn’t break the rules.
REESE: What?
ELI: The rule was “don’t *try* to kiss me.” I didn’t try. I think we succeeded, don’t you?
Unbelievable. This time I do laugh. I send him a side-eye emoji, then stick my phone deep in my desk to avoid texting him again.
But I can’t play all that off as jokes. I can’t deny the warm, fuzzy feeling cloaking me like a blanket after a simple text exchange with Eli.
I think of Olivia, the realtor-bot. California was the farthest place I could think of to go when this is all over, without moving out of the country.
When I came up with the idea, I told myself it wasn’t running away.
That this would be a fresh start. It’s a good plan, but is teaching kids music really what I want to do?
I love kids and I love music, so it should feel perfect.
But it doesn’t. Maybe that’s because suddenly, the thought of running so far away from here doesn’t have the same appeal as it did a couple of weeks ago.
I stand up, needing desperately to clear my head.
Shooting is over for the day, but I still have a restaurant to run.
But first, I need a clean shirt. Normally we keep spare button-downs in the storage room at the back of the restaurant, but we moved everything down to the hotel storeroom in the basement so the crew could use the space to store camera equipment.
I don’t love it down there—it’s creepy in the basement.
Maybe that’s why I let my mind drift back to Eli, and his silly jokes.
And that’s why when I spot Kelly, I’ve got a stupid smile on my face…and I’m too close to her to duck out of view and go a different way without looking way too obvious about it.
Instead, I slow down, a frown drawing over my face. Kelly’s standing next to the water feature, staring absently into the trickle of water that runs through the rocks, meant to emulate the Quince River through the plate glass window on the other side.
At least, I think she’s looking there. She’s wearing a huge pair of sunglasses that obscure her eyes. Together with the red suede coat and mile-high heels she’s wearing, she looks like an actual movie star. My stomach twists with what…jealousy? Concern?
But she’s preoccupied, so maybe I can avoid her after all.
I tuck my head down, holding my breath as I pick up speed again.
“Reese.”
I have to work to keep the grimace off my face as I tip my eyes back up.
I force myself to smile. “Hi, Kelly.”
“Where are you off to in such a hurry?”
“The storeroom.”
“Why the rush?”
I can’t exactly tell her I was trying to dodge her. So I tell her another version of the truth. “I don’t like going down there. Some people say the older parts of the hotel are haunted.” I laugh awkwardly.
Kelly doesn’t. Mortification threatens to take over, except it’s then my eyes land on her hands. She’s gripping the thick railing-height glass in front of the water with knuckles almost white, she’s holding on to it so tightly.
We may not be friends—we may not even like each other very much, which is strange for me given how hard I try to give women the benefit of the doubt. But I can’t help but feel a pang of concern for how upset I realize she is now. Because I think she might be crying.
She’s upset.
“Kelly, is everything okay?”
She looks up fast, as if she was waiting for someone to ask. “No,” she manages. “I’m not okay at all, Reese.”
Someone skeptical might think she wasn’t being genuine. But there’s something about her tone that’s so familiar. She’s genuinely upset.
And, I realize, she doesn’t seem like the type of person who has friends to commiserate with.
“Oh. Um…” Oh God, this is almost surreal.
“You know, I thought Eli was lying about you,” she says, saving me from having to speak first.
Then I register what she said. “Really?” I ask, hoping I sound casual.
“When he first told me about you last spring. I was sure of it. I know what he’s like when he gets upset. But now, seeing you two together…he looks genuinely happy, Reese. So do you.”
She looks back toward the water, and that’s when I see a tear roll from her glasses down her perfect pale cheek.
But I’m still stuck on what she said. That we both look genuinely happy.
“Kelly, I—” I hesitate, reaching into my pocket and pulling out the little packet of tissues I remember I stuck there.
I hand it to her, and she takes one with a wobbly nod.
I don’t know what to say. Don’t worry, it’s not real? You were right to think this was a lie?
But I realize I don’t know what she’s upset about. Oh God, does she still love Eli?
Does he still love her?
I have the sudden urge to act like a child. To yell at her that she had her chance.
But I’m immediately mortified by that. It’s an ugly reaction, one I don’t want any part of. One that’s not me. Besides, if she still loves Eli, isn’t that good? Isn’t that really the whole reason Eli wants to do this?
We didn’t actually talk about why he lied to her. I thought that was it at first, knowing how badly she messed him up. But when I decided to help him, I felt like he just wanted to prove to her that he’s got his life together.
My heart thunders in my chest. Maybe I’m standing in the way of two people who might get to have a second chance?
But what about your second chance?
“He was in love with you,” I say, the truth coming out before I can stop myself. Even though it suddenly hurts like hell. “The divorce destroyed him.” You destroyed him.
But Kelly just gives a soft laugh. “I don’t know. I used to think so, but I think now…I think he was in love with the idea of me. I think he had it all laid out in his head how his life would go, and I looked good in that plan. Our divorce wasn’t the end of us to him, it was the end of that dream.”
I don’t know what to say to this. I don’t think she’s right, at least not entirely. “He changed his name for you, Kelly.” Eli told me when he married Kelly, he’d taken his mother’s maiden name, because she didn’t want to be Kelly Kelly.
“He called my bluff.”
I snap my mouth shut. She’s wrong. He loved her, I know he did. But it’s not my place to tell her that, is it? I’m suddenly deeply uncomfortable with having this conversation with Kelly, not when what Eli and I have is a lie.
I feel sick. I turn to the water, to the soothing gurgle of it passing over the rocks.
“I’m sorry, Kelly,” I say. “I need to go.”
I’m about to leave, to head down to the basement, creepy or not—anything is better than this—when Kelly says, “I think Neil’s cheating on me.”
I freeze. “Neil?” I say lamely. I can’t fathom Neil cheating. Especially not on her. Except…I think about the way his eyes linger on other women. How we all think it’s innocent. What we see from the outside isn’t what’s always happening on the inside.
“I know what you’re thinking. Everyone says he adores me.”
But she doesn’t know what I’m thinking. Everyone said Simon and I seemed like a great couple too.
“Everyone said that about Eli, too.”
My stomach twists way too hard at the thought of Eli adoring Kelly. Then I register the implications of what she said.
Kelly sees my expression and shakes her head. “No, Eli never cheated. I never worried about that with him, and you don’t have to either. ‘Loyal’ is the man’s middle name. Even when things are already dead.”
I want to ask her why she thinks that about Neil, but her jeweled, perfectly manicured hand reaches out and pats mine, and I realize this conversation is over.
“Don’t squander him like I did, Reese. Just promise me that.”
Then, in a burst of Chanel and suede, she’s gone.