Chapter 11 #2
“You guys were talking about how you’d have to say goodbye today. Something about picking Jude’s son up and having only a few minutes to hang out before you don’t see them again for—”
“Six months,” I whisper. I remember. Jude told me how the timing of where Farrah’s place was meant there wouldn’t be much time to hang out before they caught their train.
I didn’t want it to end. I didn’t want the night with Jude to end and I didn’t want to have only a few minutes left to see Cap before who knows when.
“The summer!” I’d said, nearly in tears.
I knew it was the two glasses of wine that were making me weepy, but Jude had said something like “it doesn’t have to be like that,” and Sasha had been there, ears perked.
Then somehow, she had her sister on the phone.
“Laila said her booking agent was going to kill her when she got home for waking her up at five Connecticut time to book everything,” Sasha says, sighing as she leans against the doorframe, practically swooning. “But we told them how romantic it was and—”
“Romantic!”
“Ladies,” Murray says, appearing like some kind of ghost next to us.
“Jesus, Murray! Don’t do that!” Sasha exclaims, standing up.
“I really must ask you to keep it down; this is the holidays—”
“And I really must ask you to quit eavesdropping!” I say, walking up to him so fast he stumbles backward.
Murray sputters, then turns on his heel and heads for the stairs in a huff.
Sasha’s hand is covering her mouth when I turn back to her. “I’ve never seen you like this, Nora!”
And I’ve never been so frazzled, thanks to Jude. “So you’re serious?” I ask, my hands shaking. “You got your sister to book train tickets to Switzerland for us?”
“You were excited last night! You kept talking about this video you were going to do—something about romance…”
My memory ticks forward. My thesis project.
I had been planning on using my videos I was taking of the seniors and their stories.
But last night I’d had a lightbulb moment about making it on Eleanor instead.
I didn’t have quite the unbridled enthusiasm of last night, but it lit me up, I had to admit.
Still, going on a trip with Jude would just protract this weirdness between us.
I shake my head. “We have to cancel the tickets.”
“What? No way! Besides, it’s too late.”
“I’m sure Laila can figure it out, right? Jude can just take his original ticket and—”
“Nora?”
The sleepy male voice comes from down the hall. Both Sasha and I turn.
“Holy shit,” Sasha says under her breath.
Jude is standing in the hallway in his shorts, a confused expression on his face. The whole view of him from thirty feet away is just as delicious as up in his arms. Almost. His long, lean form is strong and sleek and…pretty much almost naked.
“He has no idea how incredible he looks, does he?” Sasha whispers.
My eyes drop to his crotch, but his…situation has abated. Except now he’s lifting his arms, tying his hair up as he stands there. It’s a particularly Adonis-like pose, his arms up and on display, his rigid chest and stomach flexed.
He still plays tennis all day long at the resort, getting in there with his staff and guests, playing a lower-key version of those moves that brought home all those trophies.
His quads, I notice inanely, are paler than the rest of his legs. I have the strangest urge to draw my tongue up that particular stretch of skin…
“No,” I say weakly, unable to deny it. “He doesn’t.”
“Everything okay?” Jude asks, his hair loosely in place.
“Even his bedhead is sexy,” Sasha whispers.
Jude takes a step toward us.
“No!” I say quickly, holding a hand up. “I mean yes, just…uh, I’ll be right back. Give us a minute?”
Jude furrows his brow but nods. “Okay. Hey, Sasha.” He gives a polite smile, but it makes his damn dimples pop, and Sasha sighs. “Hi, Jude.”
When he disappears inside my door, Sasha grabs me by the collar, suddenly intensely serious. “Nora, you listen to me, and you listen good. I know you guys are just friends, or whatever.”
“We’re not even really friends any—”
“Right, perfect. So you’re not even friends anymore, which means you need to tap that man immediately.”
“Excuse me?!”
“You heard me! You need some action. You have probably the world’s most beautiful, kindest, funniest man nearly naked in your room now, and you get to spend a whole week in close quarters with him.”
“Why don’t you ask him out if you like him so much?”
I’m being difficult, I know. Sasha doesn’t even give me an eye roll. “Nora, you’ve been in love with him for years.”
“I’m not in—”
“Come on. I know you think he’s not going to be like that with you, and maybe you won’t. But I saw you two last night. There was so much chemistry I was getting hot under the collar! Even before then when we met on the stairs.”
“Is this why you didn’t invite your brother?” I ask suspiciously.
A look crosses Sasha’s face that I can’t read.
“No, he had to help out our other brother with something he’s dealing with back home.
” Her brother turning around and flying home when he just got here seems like a big deal.
But before I can grasp onto the change of subject, she brightens again quickly.
“Anyway, it worked out for the best, right? No one to get in the way of you and your hot God future fuck buddy.”
“Oh my God, Sasha.” I’m slightly dizzy and have to brace myself against the doorframe.
“All I’m saying is a little forced proximity with Jude wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, would it? You said you’re not really friends anymore, so what do you have to lose? Nothing! And you get to spend time with Cap, too, who I know you love just as much as his dad.”
“It’ll be so awkward,” I say, feeling defeat slipping in at the edges. “Cap’s mom—”
“You said yourself there’s nothing between her and Jude, right?”
“Nothing at all. She just wants a chance to spend time with Cap.”
“Right, so you’re giving them the gift of time together. You know Jude would be breathing down her neck—this way they can bond while you and Jude…you know.”
My heart skips. “Follow the trail of Eleanor Cleary.”
“Right. And fuck.”
I gasp. “What? No.”
“What, yes! Ever hear of friends with benefits, Nora? Besides, you can finally put that IUD to use!”
My face heats. I told Sasha once when we were talking about birth control how I got an IUD after my last boyfriend.
He’d begged me to get it, even though I already knew I didn’t love him and never would.
I didn’t end up getting it for him, but I got it after, feeling extra strongly like I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t make any bigger mistakes with the duds I was dating than dating them in the first place.
But I’d never put it to use.
Now, Sasha was suggesting I should—with Jude! I clutch my phone to my chest. “Sasha, I could never.”
“Nora, it’s laid out before you on a fucking platter. It couldn’t be easier.”
I think back to that conversation I had with Callie way back before I left. I think back to all those times I said no to perfect opportunities. All those times I was scared, missing out on life because I refused to stick my neck out even a little bit? She’s right, this is easy.
And I could end up sleeping with Jude.
Would that be so bad?
There’s a dull ache in my chest at the thought of being with him that way, but not actually being with him. Because I know it’s not just sex I want with Jude.
But my body, thrumming with excitement over all the ways this does make sense, takes charge. “Okay,” I whisper.
“Okay?” Sasha grabs my hands. “You’re going to go?
Yes,” she corrects herself. “It’s not a question.
You’re going to go.” She throws her arms around me, squeezing me so tight I nearly gag.
“Now if I recall correctly,” she says, pulling away, “your train leaves in a matter of hours. So I’ll be over in an hour to help you pack. ”
“Sasha—”
“No arguments!” Then she grins and slams the door in my face.
I walk back to my flat with sweaty palms. What if Jude doesn’t remember I’m coming?
You’ll remind him.
I grip my hands into fists, urging that brave voice in my head to grow louder. Because the truth is I’m sick of being scared, and timid, and waiting for things to happen instead of making them happen myself.
I push into the room, ready to make plans with Jude about everything. But when I get inside, I hear the distinct splatter of water on tile.
And I see the door to my bathroom is slightly ajar. Oh God. He’s even more naked. I crane my neck to the strip of space where the door should be closed, then slap myself to turn away.
“Jude?” I call, my voice not quite loud enough as usual.
“Nor?”
Except Jude hears me. He always hears me. “Just a sec, Nor. I’ll be right out.”
The water goes on another couple of minutes. I hustle into the kitchen and quickly rinse out my coffee pot, scooping coffee into the filter with a slightly shaking hand.
“Hey,” Jude says just as I’m pouring the water in. It splashes on the counter. I make a ridiculous squawking sound and turn around.
Jude’s standing in my kitchen, a towel slung low on his hips.
Sasha’s words echo in my ears. Holy shit.
He’s more covered up than he was in his shorts, but somehow this look is much more…sexual. Water streams down his chest, running in rivulets over the ridges of his—
“Sorry, I’m dripping, aren’t I?”
Jude grabs the part of his towel folded into itself and lifts it up, swiping at his stomach. The whole thing is dangerously close to falling apart, and I truly don’t think Jude would even notice or care, until he saw I was offended.
I turn back to the coffee as much to avoid perving on him as to hide the flame in my cheeks. How did I stand being around him before?
“Jude, you’re standing naked in my kitchen, aren’t you?”
“No, my towel’s on. Want to see?”
I pinch back the smile, even though he can’t see it. This man.
“So you remember last night?” I ask.
“Yes. Do you? Wait, which part?”
Sweat breaks out along my temple as I flip the machine on. My pulse skips fast. I turn, squinting.
But Jude was telling the truth, of course.
He’s properly covered. Sort of. The towel’s tightly reknotted.
He’s leaning against the doorframe now too, his arms folded, wet hair slicked back and falling to his shoulders.
He looks so hot, I have to stare at the bridge of his nose to make it appear I’m able to look him in the eye—and to keep my eyes from going anywhere else. “So…do you remember what Sasha did?”
Jude nods. “I do.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “You wanna back out?”
I let out a breath. “You want me to?”
“No.”
I can tell he’s holding back. He already asked me to come, and I said no.
“Just think of it as a game, Nor. A fun adventure. Come play with me.”
He’s being cheeky, but he still has no idea how that inadvertent double entendre makes my lower half swirl. I bite my cheek, saying it fast. “I don’t want to back out.”
“Fuck yeah!”
Jude crosses the floor and a second later his damp arms are wrapped around me, my face squashed up against his warm chest.
Okay, now I’m going to melt.
“Cap’s going to freak out! Speaking of which…”
Jude goes on about how this morning would work best, and we agree he’ll go now to pick up him and Farrah and get them to the train station. I manage to calm my body down, mostly by gently extracting myself from his arms as he talks.
We’re on a different train, arriving an hour after them.
“Maybe we should see if we can get the same train?” he asks, looking concerned.
“Both of them are direct, Jude. Just make sure Farrah knows to wait in the station for us in Zurich before we get in the car.”
“Right. Okay, good.”
“You’ve made this trip, Nora,” Jude says. “I mean it.”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I say, meaning that, too. But the figurative train has left the station, and the literal one is going to soon too.
“Okay, well…I’m going to shower and get packing,” I say, already thinking of the removable showerhead with an extra strong jet I specifically bought to…relieve pressure. “I’ll see you soon?”
“See you soon,” he says. Then I practically run from the room before I have to deal with any more half-nude Jude.