Chapter 4 #2
“I’m still convinced I’m going to win the revenue game,” I said, grinning in a way that was absolutely not flirting.
“Never,” Brian replied, his answering smile warmer than ever. “Team open games night forever! We’re gonna kick your ass.”
I laughed. “Doubtful,” I played along. “I’ve seen the future, and it’s tournament games night.”
“In your dreams, Meyers,” Brian’s smile shifted to a smug look. “My idea is going to run circles around yours.”
“Your idea can barely keep up.” I kicked my foot out, nudging his as he leaned back in Gilbert’s chair.
“You think?” Brian knocked his foot against mine, beaming with impishness.
I pushed back against his foot, and two seconds later, we ended up in a juvenile kicking match, nudging and tapping each other’s feet like kids.
At least, like kids until our eyes met. The desire in Brian’s hazel eyes was blatant. I felt that heat all the way inside me. Even that little bit of contact between our feet and ankles was a whisper of other contact I was sure we both wanted.
Except we couldn’t.
I winced and pulled myself to sit straighter in my chair. “Listen,” I said having a hard time meeting his eyes again when we were so locked into each other just moments before. “About what happened at the end of the night last night.”
Brian’s playful grin faded so quickly it made me feel like shit for bringing it up. “I’m sorry about that,” he said, lowering his head. “I shouldn’t have—”
“I was the one who kissed you,” I reminded him before he could go farther and beat himself up.
He looked up at me with the most vulnerable expression. I thought my heart might explode. “And I liked it,” he admitted, taking me by surprise. He looked down again and said, “But I know you’re really particular about the rule here saying employees can’t date.”
“It’s not like anyone is forbidden from having feelings for someone else,” I said.
What the hell was I thinking to say that?
Not only was it contradicting policy, it was like admitting that I had feelings, that I couldn’t stop thinking about Brian.
I loved it when he spent time over at our house.
He didn’t always just hang out with Diccon when he was there either.
We’d gotten to know each other pretty well over the years.
The whole family loved him. It barely felt like he was an employee at all.
“Brian, I care about you,” I said, cringing at that statement as well. I kind of felt like I was running as fast as I could toward a cliff with no way to put the brakes on. I didn’t know if I wanted to slam the brakes.
“I care about you, too,” Brian answered, a little too fast and a little too stiff.
“I just want you to know that I don’t regret our kiss at all,” I said, praying I would find a way to make the whole having feelings thing so much less awkward and painful. I really was shit at dealing with emotions.
“Neither do I,” Brian said, barely above a whisper, his smile returning.
My heart beat faster. Maybe we were finally getting somewhere.
Of course, that was when Gilbert stormed back into the office, red-faced and antsy.
“I swear to God, Jameson is doing all this just to mess with me,” he blurted, pacing the office without the first clue what he’d interrupted.
“What did he do now?” I asked, feeling a little guilty over how relieved I was to have the pressure taken off of whatever intense conversation Brian and I might have slipped into next.
“Can you believe that bastard told me there’s nothing he can do about the noise level? That construction machinery doesn’t have a silencer and old concrete makes noise when you pull it out of the ground?” Gilbert ranted.
I rolled my eyes and sent Brian a smirk, hoping we could be on the same page over how unreasonable Gilbert was being.
Brian had shrunk in on himself a little and was looking out through the open office door.
When he realized I was watching him, he drew in a breath and pushed himself to stand.
“I need to get back to work,” he said. “The coffee machine needs a deep clean between rushes. I’m looking forward to seeing what else you come up with for tournament game night. ”
With that, he nodded at me, then hurried out of the office, shutting the door behind him.
“Shit,” Gilbert said, pushing a hand through his hair. “Did I interrupt something?” He was still very much annoyed about Jameson, but the barest hint of amusement perked in his eyes.
“No, not at all,” I lied. “We were just discussing tomorrow’s games night.”
Gilbert looked at me like he didn’t believe me, then moved to sit in the chair Brian had vacated. “I’ve always thought the two of you are perfect together,” he said, “but please tell me you’re not so similar that you both have weird problems with commitment and opening up about your feelings.”
“I do not have problems with commitment or my feelings,” I said, shifting my chair to face into my desk again.
Gilbert huffed ironically. “Right,” he said. “And when was the last time you were in a relationship or even dated someone?”
“I’ve been busy running the café,” I said, avoiding what he was getting at.
Gilbert sent me a look over his shoulder before opening his laptop again. “You’re allowed to have the hots for someone, even if he’s a younger guy.”
“He’s not that much younger,” I insisted, although I had always had the impression that it wasn’t his age that made Brian feel young.
“You’re allowed to want to date Diccon’s friend, too,” Gilbert went on, skating closer to my real hangup.
“That doesn’t bother me as much as it should,” I confessed.
Gilbert turned all the way around to look straight at me.
“Don’t hold yourself back from something that could be really good for both of you because of an arbitrary rule that you wrote years ago because of an entirely different relationship gone bad.
It doesn’t matter that Brian works for us.
In fact, I’d say his dedication to Common Grounds makes him even more perfect for you to date. You both care about the same thing.”
He had a point there, but I couldn’t stop worrying what would happen if everything went wrong. I’d written the rule for a reason. Reasons like that didn’t just vanish.
I didn’t want to talk about it anymore and focused in on my computer so Gilbert would know the conversation was over.
But as I did, I found myself clicking on the digital employee handbook saved on a corner of my desktop, then scrolling through until I came to the section about employee relationships.
I read the rule.
I read it again.
Maybe I could find some sort of wiggle room in there that would help me to feel okay about asking Brian out and seeing if there could be more between us than games nights and friendship by association.
I’d never been so caught up on anyone the way I was on Brian. Maybe pursuing him would be a risk, but it might just be a risk that would change my life for the better if I was brave enough to take it.