Chapter 25
Head between my knees, I focused on taking deep breaths.
Things had gone to shit so quickly, but I was a survivor, and I had to remember what Xavier used to tell me in times of turmoil: “This, too, shall pass.”
I had spent my entire adolescence crushing on Cassidy. But he was always out of reach, and too great of a risk to try anything, considering his deep connection to my family, and his friendship with my brother.
But when I’d finally gotten the kiss I’d dreamed about for so many nights of my youth, it was all wrong. There was no spark. The desire was long gone. And instead I found myself thinking of another man while Cassidy’s lips were on mine: Vaughn.
Because when Vaughn and I were tangled up in one another, the rest of the world didn’t exist. There wasn’t just a spark between us, it was explosive. And I’d let it slip through my fingers by standing in my own way.
Vaughn had sought to guard his heart by refusing to have sex with me before I was willing to make some sort of commitment, and the irony was that when I realized I was ready for that commitment, it was my heart that wound up broken.
I wasn’t sure if there was anything I could do to fix the situation. I didn’t know if Vaughn would believe me if I explained what happened. And even if he did, would it sour his relationship with Cassidy? Did I care?
I was furious with Cassidy, but there was a small part of me that understood.
If he’d harbored feelings for me for just as long, only to serendipitously find me years after we’d been separated, I could understand why he would be willing to put everything on the line just to determine if there was a chance of something happening.
Maybe he still knew me well enough to see through the initial facade of my fake marriage, giving him the courage to take his shot.
But he’d missed his chance. I wanted Vaughn, and no one else would do.
And I realized then, this was worth fighting for—Vaughn was worth fighting for.
I’d give him some space, but he would hear me out, I’d make sure of it. I wouldn’t rest until I knew that I had done everything I could to make this right.
Because I was pretty sure I’d fallen for Vaughn, despite my best efforts.
And I wasn’t ready to let him go.
My comm sounded angrily in my pocket, using the high-pitched emergency alert notification chime, which was a final warning from the bridge to get to my station before landing.
With one last deep breath, I braced myself against the wall behind me to stand, but stumbled when the wall panel clicked out of place.
A common occurrence, as all the paneling could be removed for emergency situations, but when I turned to click it back into its fastening, I noticed something odd behind the material.
After looking down the hall to confirm I was alone, I pulled back the pane and felt my heart drop.
Stacked neatly in a column spanning the entire height of the space were bricks of Elysian pills. Their deep blue color was unmistakable.
While I’d never tried the hyper-addictive substance myself, I’d been around it enough to know what I was looking at. Images of Xavier flooded my mind. I still didn’t know if his overdose had been at his own hand or a convenient cover-up, but the cause of death was definitive.
I took a hard swallow and replaced the panel cover, clicking it into place with trembling hands.
Again, I glanced down the hallway. I was still alone, and the one camera I knew existed was at the far end of the corridor. Because of the direction in which I’d opened the compartment, anyone watching wouldn’t have seen what was inside.
My mind was reeling as I staggered back into my office and pulled up the necessary system gauges to monitor while we were arriving at port and shutting the ship down to dock.
While keeping an eye on the readouts, I called Vaughn continuously.
Every single one went unanswered.
This was bad.
We thought the Radiant was harboring a Meridian operative, and based on the vanishing encrypted coding, that information was flowing through the ship’s communications systems and out to their network.
It honestly hadn’t occurred to me that the ship would be used for transportation of their goddamned drugs as well.
An astonished laugh bubbled up from me as I finally realized that the panel was what had been wrong with the schematics. The breaker box where I’d pulled the extra circuit from to fix the engine was on the wrong side. But in its place was the hidden compartment.
“Son of a bitch.” I slammed my palm down on my desk.
It had been right under my nose, and I hadn’t been able to find the aberration.
After what felt like ages, the ship was finally docked at port.
I raced out of engineering, heading straight for the cargo bay, as I was hoping to head Vaughn off on his way down from the bridge.
But when I got there, only Jordan and Ethan were in the expansive space, overseeing the payload transfer.
“Where’s Vaughn?” I called out to them.
Both heads whipped to me.
Jordan raised an eyebrow, perhaps already sensing something was amiss between us, but then returned her attention to the machines moving palettes back and forth.
“He left already,” Ethan finally answered me.
“What?” My shoulders dropped with disappointment as I made my way toward the pair.
“He was in a real hurry. Wants to keep the stop short, but had to grab something from the shops.” Ethan shrugged.
“Everything okay?” Jordan asked warily, eyeing me from the side.
I was more unsure than ever as to who I could trust, so I tried to keep things as vague as possible, while still expressing the gravity of the situation.
“I just need to talk to him.” I took a deep breath, looking out the cargo bay doors to the throngs of people outside on the dock. I glanced at Jordan, then Ethan. “If you see him, tell him it’s urgent and it’s not about what he thinks it is.”
Both of them looked at me then, watching in confusion as I hopped down onto the dock. “I’ve got my comm—tell him to ping me, but I’ll try to be back in under an hour if I don’t find him.”
“Don’t be late,” Jordan warned me, but her brow was creased with worry. She didn’t like being out of the loop.
It only took me a few minutes of being jostled around the packed port to realize that I had no hope of finding Vaughn.
The port was grimy, too hot with so many bodies around, and the stale, recycled air left a permanent grimace on my face as I made my way through the large docking area toward the marketplace.
I realized maybe I should have stayed on the ship and kept watch by the secret compartment, but I would have had to camp out in the hall to see anyone who tried to access it, which would have been odd in itself and potentially compromised me.
I knew Vaughn was the only person on the ship that I trusted completely, but it occurred to me, there was someone outside of the ship who could help: Darren.
The only problem was that I needed a secure and encrypted communication line on which to speak with him. There was one on the ship. However, only Vaughn and Jordan had access. Vaughn was gone, and Jordan would ask too many questions.
But I was in a port, so there was bound to be one around here somewhere. I just had to find it.
Even the thought of talking to Darren made me feel calmer.
He would know what to do. He had the connections to find a way to help us.
Because it would have been illogical to go to the port authority, which would have torn the Radiant apart, waylaying our voyage, completely derailing our schedule, and likely arresting Vaughn for questioning, for who knew how long.
No, I needed to be smart about all of this, or it could expose the entire mission, leaving the Phoenix in the wind once again.
I was so distracted by my determination to find a place advertising an encrypted line that it took me a moment to realize that someone was calling my name.
Wondering if I was hearing things, I paused and turned, only to come face-to-face with another ghost of my past, my most recent ex: Simon Westcott.
“Simon?” I choked.
“I thought that was you!” He pulled me into a hug, but I was too shocked to return the gesture, instead letting my arms remain limply at my sides. Mistaking my lack of affection for anger, he pulled back, frowning, and said, “Listen, I’m sorry about how things ended between us.”
I just kind of stared at him with my mouth open, unsure how to respond to that.
“But all of that’s in the past, right?” His eyes were hopeful, but he didn’t wait for my response to continue. But that was Simon, constantly asking questions and talking at people, rather than with them. “What the hell have you been up to? How’d you find yourself on Vesta?”
“I—I,” I stuttered, trying to remember what I was doing. “I’m a ship engineer,” I finally sputtered.
He looked exactly the same as the last time I’d seen him three years ago, when he’d broken up with me right before my brother’s funeral. Black hair always perfectly coiffed, blue eyes dazzling in contrast to his darker hair and tanned skin.
Our relationship had been tumultuous, occasionally passionate, and at first mutually beneficial, but when I needed someone to lean on, he’d ducked and run, not wanting to deal with the emotional consequences of a relationship.
And really, looking back, I should have known better. He showed me who he was right away. I’d ignored the red flags, and I had paid the price for my error in judgment.
“What are you doing here?” I finally returned to the present, slowly regaining my wits.
“Diplomatic meeting. Vesta was the mid-point between parties.” He grimaced, looking around.
So he’d finally gotten that cushy embassy job he’d been angling for, and it had led him to Vesta. I held back a chuckle. But then a thought occurred to me.
“Did you arrive on a diplomatic vessel?” I couldn’t refrain from the urgency bleeding into my tone.
“Yeah, why?” His brow furrowed. “Are you okay?”
“I need to speak to someone, and the line on my ship has been compromised,” I lied. “Can I use your ship’s secure line? I’ll only be a moment.”
He studied me for a moment, perhaps trying to assess if I was truly in any danger.
“Of course.” He looked down at his comm.
“But I’m running late for my meeting. I’ll let my crew know you’re on the way and to allow you entry.
My ship, Amity Endeavor, is docked at slip 84B.
” He glanced over my shoulder toward the docks.
“It’s not far,” he tried to comfort my obvious distress.
“Thank you.” I reached out, squeezing his forearm. “I’ll find a way to repay you.”
“It was nice to see you again, Lark.” He flashed a charming smile. “I can’t convince you to stay for dinner?”
“Got a schedule to keep,” I told him, already turning back to the crowd to make my way toward his ship.
He was right that it wasn’t as far as I feared. But just when I’d gotten visual confirmation of the ship a few slips away from my position, I felt the warmth of a body at my back.
Before I could turn to see who was invading my space, I felt a sharp prick on my neck. Within seconds, my muscles began to go slack, and then everything went black.