8. Chapter Seven
Chapter Seven
S tanding in the middle of an exclusive bridal shop, Sky tried and failed to hold back tears. No matter how much her childhood dreams of her wedding had changed, one thing had always been constant. Maddie at her side as maid of honor.
My sister is dead.
My sister is dead, and I’m raising her son
And marrying the one man I’ve always wanted.
Except Rafa had made it painfully clear in the days since his shocking proposal that this would truly be a marriage of convenience. They were marrying for one reason and one reason alone—Jasper.
What should have been a moment of joy had become a gut-churning nightmare.
“I can’t do this,” Sky announced suddenly. Her face prickled with heat, and it felt like her lungs were too small and there wasn’t enough air in the room.
“Can’t do what?” Dina asked, moving closer and putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Marry Rafa?”
“No,” Sky clarified, fully aware that she absolutely had to marry Rafa to keep Jasper safe from Beverly’s clutches. “Buy a dress. Do this whole thing.” She gestured around the luxurious space. “The champagne and the macarons and the smiling consultants.”
“I told you it was too much!” Lola hissed at her older sister before engulfing Sky in a much-needed embrace. “Just breathe, Sky. Slow breaths in and slow breaths out. You’re about to have a panic attack, I think.”
“This wasn’t my idea!” Dina hissed right back and carefully patted Sky’s arm. “I told Mama that this was a terrible idea. That it wasn’t the right time!”
“It’s not your mom’s fault,” Sky interrupted the sisterly bickering. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and inhaled a shuddery breath. “It’s mine. I should have known I wasn’t ready for this, not so soon after…” She couldn’t even bring herself to say the word funeral. “I should have been more forceful about just wearing something from my luggage.”
“Sky, mija , I’ve found the perfect dress!” Soila swanned into the private dressing room with assistants hot on her heels. “It’s simple and beautiful and—.” Her smile faded. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Sky lied, wiping at her face again. “I just… I was having a moment.”
Soila closed the distance with graceful strides and pulled Sky into a motherly hug. She smelled heavenly and comforting, like flowers and spice, and Sky melted into her strong embrace. She desperately needed a mother's love, and Soila filled that role perfectly.
“I should have listened to Rafa,” Soila admitted while rubbing Sky’s back. “He said you weren’t ready for this, and I should leave it alone.” She made a little amused huff. “But we won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right.”
Sky laughed despite her broken heart. “No, he’ll be insufferable.”
Soila smiled and swept wisps of hair behind Sky’s ear. “ Mija , we can go home right now. You can wear whatever you want to the wedding. All that matters is that it happens and is legally binding.”
Sky wanted to leave. She wanted to return to the Farias estate, pick up Jasper, and carry him to bed where she could snuggle him until the painful, heart-wrenching agony of losing her sister stopped. She wanted to block out the real world and pretend nothing had happened to Maddie and Jaime.
“Do?a Soila,” the lead bridal consultant said carefully, “should we reschedule?”
“No,” Sky answered for her soon-to-be mother-in-law. “I do need a dress.” She untangled herself from Soila’s arms and turned to get a better look at the rack the consultants had rolled into the room. There were three very simple, very understated choices awaiting her. There was a tea-length satin dress that reminded her of Grace Kelly and a champagne pantsuit. Both were fine options, but neither spoke to her.
“This is the one I thought you would like,” Soila said, taking the third hanger from the rack. “What do you think?”
It was nothing like the grand ballgowns she had envisioned wearing on her wedding day. It was knee-length and ivory with a scoop neckline and a traditional A-line skirt. The lace overlay gave it a romantic feel but was restrained and classic.
“I think it’s perfect.” Sky carefully trailed her fingers over the lace sleeves. “I’ll try it on.”
A short while later, standing in front of the mirror, Sky decided Soila had missed a career as a bridal consultant. The dress was even prettier on her body. It fit almost perfectly and made her feel beautiful. Her wedding day might not be one of romance and dreams come true, but she would look lovely in any photos.
“Later, when an appropriate time has passed, we’ll have a real wedding,” Soila announced on the drive home. “A proper wedding in a church with a Mass and a reception.”
“Mama,” Dina scolded quietly. “This is going to be a real wedding.”
Soila clicked her teeth. “You know what I mean.”
Lola rolled her eyes and shot Sky an apologetic look. Sky smiled back at her friend and shrugged. She knew that Soila didn’t mean it that way. She tuned out the soft bickering between Dina and her mother and turned her attention out the window of the SUV. The family had a fleet of vehicles and drivers, and she felt suddenly guilty that she didn’t know their current driver’s name.
Is this what my life is going to be like now? Dropping thousands of dollars on a whim? Being shuttled around by employees in expensive cars?
Maddie and Jaime enjoyed a very comfortable lifestyle. Their home was in one of San Antonio’s most exclusive neighborhoods. Jaime had two planes in a private hangar, and Maddie drove a very nice SUV. There were lavish gifts under the Christmas tree and for birthdays and anniversaries.
But, mostly, the couple had lived quietly and not ostentatiously. Sky had lived even more simply. All those years of traveling had ingrained certain habits in her. She kept her wardrobe small and mostly utilitarian. She didn’t wear much jewelry besides the few pieces Maddie had gifted her for birthdays and Christmases.
Rafa, on the other hand, lived like a billionaire. Drivers. Bodyguards. Bespoke suits. He had a certain entitled air about him, and Sky worried he would never feel comfortable in the quiet enclave in San Antonio where Maddie and Jaime had made their home and wanted Jasper raised.
What if we can’t make it work?
What if Rafa feels suffocated by his new role as husband and father?
What if he needs more than I can give him?
Fear twisted her stomach. Failing Jasper was out of the question. She had been entrusted with her nephew by his parents, and she would do anything— anything —to ensure Jasper had the life his parents had dreamed of for him.
When they arrived at the Farias estate, she drifted away from Dina, Lola, and Soila and sought out Jasper. She had left him in Beto’s care, but Jovita directed her to one of the secluded corners of the patio, where she found Rafa on a glider, cuddling Jasper against his chest. Her nephew slept peacefully on his uncle, and Rafa tenderly stroked the soft hair on his head.
Taken aback by the sight of them together, she remained hidden behind the winding vines of a bougainvillea. As she watched the beautiful moment, she realized Rafa had been crying. The sunlight glinted off the wet streaks on his face. Not wanting to intrude, she tried to back away—and stepped on something crunchy.
Rafa stiffened and turned in her direction. She offered an apologetic and awkward smile. “Sorry.”
He relaxed and smiled back. “For what?”
“Spying,” she said and joined them on the glider. Sitting next to him, she kept her gaze fixed forward while he discreetly swept the dried tears from his face.
“How was the trip to the bridal salon?” he asked carefully.
She started to lie and tell him it was fine, but after seeing him so vulnerable with Jasper, she admitted, “I kinda lost it.”
“Sky,” he said so gently.
“It’s okay,” she hastily assured him. “I’m fine now. Sort of.”
Rafa startled her by carefully taking her hand and interlacing their fingers. Her heart raced at the innocent touch. She tried so hard not to let him affect her like this, but the barest hint of his touch sent her hormones into overdrive. How am I ever going to live with him?
“I think it will be a very long time before any of us are fine again.”
Her heart raced for a different reason now. Grief. Anguish.
Sky swallowed the hard lump aching in her throat. “I miss them so much.”
“I do, too.” Rafa nuzzled Jasper with his chin. “I’m afraid,” he confessed. “Terrified, actually. Terrified we’re going to mess up and not be good parents.”
Hearing him say that wasn’t a great feeling, but she understood his fears. “We are going to make mistakes, Rafael. All parents do. We just have to do our best and love him with all our hearts.”
“What if our love isn’t enough?”
“What do you mean?”
“I grew up surrounded by brothers and sisters. My childhood was loud and busy and filled with love. What about Jasper? He’ll be an only child raised by his aunt and uncle. He’ll be lonely.”
“I…” But she didn’t know what to say. “I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Planning for the future has never been your strong suit.”
She bristled at his critical remark. “How would you know what my strong suits are?”
“I didn’t mean—.”
“Don’t,” she cut in sharply. “I’ll respect you more if you own it.”
Rafa was silent for a moment. “All right. I am concerned about what the future looks like for us. One year. Three. Five.”
“Five years?” Her eyes widened. “When you asked me to marry you, the first thing you made clear was that you didn’t want to get married in a church because you can’t divorce me if you do.”
“I didn’t mean—.”
Frustrated with his changing goalposts, she added, “You’re talking like you think this is an easily planned project with clear timelines. You can’t manage a marriage like a business.”
“Why not? Plenty of my colleagues do. My CTO planned her first five years of marriage from the day she accepted Annabella’s proposal. When they’d get married. Which one of them would get pregnant first. When they would start the IVF process. How long she would take for maternity leave. When they would try for a second. She even had applications for preschools done six months before their daughter’s birth.”
Sky tried not to show how uncomfortable that sort of planning made her. Instead, she reminded him, “I’m not one of your colleagues, and this isn’t a real marriage.”
Now, it was his turn to look hurt. Or maybe she just imagined that brief clench of his jaw.
“It’s not a love match,” she amended. “We’re getting married to protect Jasper. That is my only focus. I cannot think about siblings and five-year plans right now.”
“Well, you’re welcome to be the free spirit in this marriage, but one of us has to be the practical.” He shifted his weight and carefully moved Jasper from one shoulder to the other to see her better. “I’m the CEO of my family’s company. Jasper is my priority, but I have other duties. Do you understand what that means?”
“I’m not an idiot, Rafael,” she said tersely. “I’m fully aware that you have responsibilities to your family, to your company, to your employees.”
“Then you’ll understand I can’t be blindsided with surprises, Sky. Especially with Beverly coming after us to get her claws on Jasper,” he said forcefully. “Is there anything you need to tell me?”
“About?”
“The five years you went traveling around the world!”
She blinked in shock. “Are you serious? You really think I have dark, horrible secrets?” Indignant, she said, “I was traveling, Rafael. I worked low-wage jobs. I was a waitress. I cleaned hotel rooms. I led tours. I taught English and Spanish. I tended bar. I experienced the world and found myself after—.”
She stopped abruptly, unwilling to even go there.
“After what?” Rafael locked eyes with her. He seemed almost desperate to know what she was going to say.
“It doesn’t matter.” She stood, suddenly unable to stomach another moment with him. The rejection and humiliation from that torrid night felt uncomfortably fresh and real. Is this how it’s going to be then?
“Sky.”
“I have a headache.” It wasn’t a full-blown lie. Her head was pounding now, albeit for a different reason.
“Sky, please, I shouldn’t—.”
“Since you’re so worried about being practical and responsible, you should know that Jasper needs a hat and sunscreen if you’re going to sit in the sun like this. Babies overheat and sunburn much more quickly than we do.”
The flush of embarrassment on his handsome face soothed her raw nerves. Good.
But as she returned to the house, that smug satisfaction at knocking him down a peg faded quickly. It was replaced by cold, throbbing dread.
Marriage to Rafael wasn’t going to be easy. He clearly saw her as someone he couldn’t fully trust, just Maddie’s flighty, irresponsible sister who ran from her problems.
I’ll never be good enough for him.
And it killed her.