Chapter 5
5
Rafael focused on Lucan, knowing if he were to see anything Zhivko found in Lucan’s memories, he would need to use his Fae powers, something he wasn’t at all comfortable with. He caught a glimpse of people, dead and dying, in a trampled and blood-covered meadow. One name stood out amongst the chaos in Lucan’s mind. Kristof.
His was the one name Rafael would never forget…or forgive. Because of his bid for power, Rafael’s and Lucan’s lives had been forever changed. He would never forgive the damned druid.
Not wanting to remember those horrible years, he had tried to forget everything about Kristof and, in fact, had not thought about him in centuries. He remembered long dark hair braided down his back, much like the Dark Fae’s whom he emulated. Kristof had been on the slender side, and when Rafael first joined the Church, he thought Kristof was a monk or some learned man. Eventually, he became Rafael’s home province’s bishop and, later, his boss.
The next scene Zhivko pulled from Lucan’s past was during the druid wars, which lasted more than a century. Several druids broke off from the main group and began experimenting, copying Fer-Diorich’s experiments for their own gain, hoping for a weapon to defeat the other druids.
The memory was of a battle, reminding him of the ancient Celts’ fight against the Romans. These men all had wild, uncombed hair, a few with braids, and their faces were painted in tribal designs of blue and black. They were warriors personified, their swords clanging as they struck at one another.
Rafael dropped his gaze to the ground and closed his eyes as he narrowed his inner vision to see who these men were. Behind the two figures in front, he caught a few flashes of what looked like large sparks. Magic. These men were using magic…
He raised his head and met the eerie gaze of the creature in front of them and wondered what it was looking for. Why were Lucan’s memories so important?
“I must find out what he saw during this battle. The Dark Fae wasn’t the only one who created Ironclaws. The Dark Druids copied that dratted Fae’s experiments. Most of their victims, however, died. You and your brethren are luckier than most.”
“You are telling me nothing I don’t already know, but the Fae, not druids, converted us. I was there and witnessed many of those horrible deaths, including my friends and their families.”
“Ahh, the other Immortals. Is that not what you call yourselves? Ask yourself this, Rafael. Why were you and the others spared? Did Fer-Diorich do something different, or were you created in this way for a reason?”
“What reason?—”
“There!” the shadowed figure exclaimed, his eerie gaze flaring red. “Watch the man in back—the one wearing the black cloak.”
Rafael turned his gaze inward once more and immediately found the cloaked figure. Strangely, he was hiding in the background, half hidden by a large group of rocks, watching the battle. With his face in shadow, it was difficult to see any distinguishing features except his eyes, which seemed to glow a bright blue.
The man scanned the battle as if looking for something and leaned forward. With the lower portion of his face more visible, he mouthed something.
With a sudden turn, his slender form grew, and Rafael realized the druid had willingly turned into a werewolf.
In a language long gone from the world, Rafael cursed him.
“Now you see why I needed to see Lucan’s memories. He was there that day, not as a combatant but as an emissary from the Papacy to try to convince the druids to turn from their pagan ways. Little did he know, his life would be forever changed. That day was his last on earth as a simple man.”
“Who was he—the man who changed into a werewolf?”
“Do you not recognize him? You worked for him before you were captured. In fact, I believe he was the person who had you captured and traded you to Fer-Diorich in exchange for his own transformation.”
Rafael frowned. “Kristof? That was Kristof—but why? Why would he want such a curse?”
“Is it? Is it really a curse?”
Rafael did not want to answer. It was a question he had asked himself since he discovered he could change from wolf to man, and none of the others could. Honestly, he had no idea how he felt. The men he considered brothers remained in wolf form, unable to live everyday lives, fall in love, or have families. He wasn’t as confident as Torin and Fáelán that finding their true mates was the answer to breaking the curse. If it even was a curse.
Why are you here? Who are you? Rafael stepped closer to the creature’s blurred form. “ I do not sense anything malicious toward us, so what’s your intent? Why not show yourself?”
“I am between worlds. Cursed to one and longing for another,” his gravelly voice responded. “My redemption rests in proving my innocence. So, suffice it to say, you have an unexpected ally—whether you want me or not. I have worked too hard to get to this point against the Dark Fae.”
“It seems we have the same goal—stopping Fer-Diorich.”
Zhivko’s eerie gaze blazed, a flame of blue in their depths. “So, we have an accord?”
Rafael tilted his head in agreement. “My brethren have been hit hard by the Fae, and now that there are women involved, I would be stupid to refuse.”
“True.”
You two have the same sense of humor, you know,” Morgan’s silky voice whispered through his mind, easing his growing agitation from not knowing she was all right.
Where were you? he demanded.
I’m going to ignore the tone because I can feel your worry from where I’m standing, which is about five feet behind you, just inside the clearing. When the bogeyman over there showed up, I tried to sneak away, but he froze us before I could get behind the tree line. Or, at least, he tried to freeze us. For some strange reason, it didn’t work on me.
You are all right then?
Yes, Rafael, I am fine. More than that. I sense something familiar about this being, as if I should know him or have seen him in the past. He just seems… Oh, I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it, but give me a little time, and I will figure it out. He almost reminds me of my grandmother.
Morrigan? Surprise hit him. Were they, indeed, dealing with another Fae? With his luck, probably.
Like I said, familiar but not. I know I was supposed to be frozen and didn’t want to give myself away, but I can move. I didn’t think playing my trump card would be very smart unless it was necessary—like if he hurt Lucan.
With a wave of his mist-shaped hand, Zhivko lowered the vampire to the ground, placing him upright with his head slumped forward and his legs in front of him. Slowly, Lucan raised his eyes, a haunted look in their depths.
“I’m so sorry, Rafael. I wouldn’t wish my way of life on anyone, especially someone I care about. I wronged you in our youth—the decisions I made—and I have paid with my soul for that. All I can do is ask your forgiveness, although I know you will not give it. I can’t blame you for that either.”
Rafael stared at his long-time friend. Someone he had once called brother. For the first time in centuries, he had no clue what to do. Like Lucan said, he wasn’t prone to forgiveness. He also wasn’t an unjust man either. What happened to them in their youth would also be shared by both, just in different ways.
While he had learned to adjust to his curse and even make it into something more, along with a few Fae interferences, he was much stronger, both in body and mind, than he was in the Middle Ages. Lucan, however, had not grown, at least not that Rafael could see. He raised one brow thoughtfully, studying the vampire.
“I’m not one to wallow in self-pity. Like you, I was cursed, but I seem more content with my life. I changed my fate by using my weaknesses and what I thought was a curse into my greatest strength. While I can’t forgive your betrayal…yet I ask for time to consider it.”
Surprise momentarily appeared on Lucan’s face but quickly disappeared. “That is more than I expected from you, Rafael. I accept your condition and hope to earn your trust once more.”
“So you were given a few added powers,” Morgan said, stepping up beside Rafael, completely ignoring his command for her to remain silent and as invisible as possible. “We have all had to deal with bad things in life. If it hadn’t been for Rafael and my aunt, I would be dead. I would never be with my sister and celebrate her giving birth. I couldn’t wake up with the birds singing and the soothing wind filtering through my open window. Each day brings hope, and you must find a reason to continue living. Despite everything I’ve been through and will fight against in the coming weeks, I’m still alive .”
She stepped up to the vampire and held out her hand, patiently waiting for him to take it. Lucan stared at her briefly before laying his hand against hers. She pulled him off the ground. “No one knows what fate has in store for us or others. All we can do is accept our lot in life and use it as best we can, helping others, living our lives to the fullest, and filling our hearts with love and laughter. Without that, we are dooming ourselves. We become the jailor—prisoners in a cell of our own making.”
“Your woman is both beautiful and wise, my friend.” Zhivko’s deep chuckle filled the air around them, easing the darker emotions and lightening everyone’s soul. “I have some of what I came for.”
His silvery gaze pinned Lucan’s. “You are a good person and an even better friend to those you take into your heart. Your belief and friendship with Dago has returned my faith in mortals, but there is something else I must check on.”
Zhivko turned back to Rafael. “You are better together than apart, mo cara. You both have earned my friendship and my help, should you ever have need.” His soft chuckle echoed as he faded. “And you will in the coming weeks, that I promise. Reach out in the name of Dago, and I will come.”
Lucan frowned. “Who is Dago to you?”
Zhivko’s gold-rimmed, silvery gaze focused on the vampire. “He was my brother.” His eyes blazed, molten with fury, then faded from view.
“Well, that was unexpected,” Morgan muttered, staring at the spot where the unsubstantial creature had stood. “Do either of you know who he really was? I felt like I almost had it, but then the feeling disappeared.”
Lucan pulled on his jacket, which was wrinkled and grass-stained from playing with the wolves. His face was paler than usual, and his blue-gray eyes bleak. “I am so sorry—for everything.” He exhaled and pulled back his shoulders. “I owe you more than just an apology. You have always been and will always be my best friend and my brother, but simple words don’t seem enough for the pain I caused you. For that, I will be eternally sorry for the part I played.”
Rafael felt Morgan’s hand in the middle of his back, hot, even through his thick fur, as she not so subtly pushed him forward. “Those words are perfect. I, too, owe you an apology for the things I said many years ago. I couldn’t understand how you couldn’t see the corruption and the bishops’ hidden agendas.”
“Their treachery, you mean,” Lucan spit out, his gaze turning mercurial as anger filled his eyes.
Rafael held out his arm, his hand toward his cottage. “Come. Let’s talk. Maybe once we hear both sides of the story, we may learn something about what’s happening now. My gut is telling me they are connected somehow.”
Once settled in the sitting room, Rafael and Morgan on the two-seat sofa and Lucan in the chair, Rafael cleared his throat. “Talk to me…us, Lucan.”
“Please,” Morgan added. “I can sense the burden you carry.” With a quick sideways glance at Rafael, she continued. “We only want to help.”
Lucan nodded and closed his eyes. When they reopened, he seemed so far away, as if he had returned to his past instead of simply retelling them. From the few Fae gifts Rafael had been given, this was not a good thing. When a person’s emotions are so strong, reliving those memories can sometimes lock the person’s mind, keeping him or her in the past.
If it is too dangerous for him, don’t let him do this. At least, not until he’s stronger.
Rafael turned to stare at the beautiful woman beside him, her powers growing stronger daily, which worried him, too. Am I going to need a stronger barrier to keep you out of my head, mi pequeno? It is not a good place for anyone to be, including myself most days.
She smiled and nudged him with her shoulder. You and your secrets are safe. I caught the end of that thought only because you care for him. Strongly. Stop him from doing this if it causes more harm. We can find out what happened to him at a slower and safer rate.
He shook his head, studying Lucan, who seemed fine with what was happening, although incredibly sad. Let’s let him do this, but watch for any signs of regression or combatting what he’s remembering. Morgan nodded her agreement, her body visibly relaxing as she leaned back into the seat and settled deeper into the cushions.
Lucan exhaled. “I was following up on the king’s request to find out if the rumors were true and the druids had devised a demon army. It was rumored they figured out how to create wolven beasts with iron-covered claws, hoping to use them as weapons. When I and a few of my brethren went to investigate, we found nothing. Worse, the druids were all but decimated, their encampment a scene of bloody carnage.”
He swallowed several times. “I never want to see anything that horrendous again.” He leaned forward, threading his fingers between his knees, and met Rafael’s gaze. “We continued to search the area and discovered a cave system where the druids created werewolves from men. Many of the poor beasts didn’t live through the conversion. Several caves were filled with large cages, most containing the remains.”
Lucan’s blue-gray eyes hardened. “I found a book of spells with incantations and ingredient lists of what worked and what hadn’t. The druid leader, a man we know well, discovered which of the local women had a recessive shape-shifting gene and forced them to produce children. These children were raised under the misguided belief that they were saving the world—righting it to what should have been under Kristof’s deranged ideology. From early childhood, they were trained to be soldiers—monsters killing those Kristof deemed necessary to die.”
Rafael frowned. “How exactly did Kristof create them?”
“He combined the black arts and rituals to convert an elemental, honorable being into something completely evil. Soulless. The women who managed to survive the cruel living conditions didn’t survive the births. They weren’t given the chance.”
Soon after, I was taken prisoner by Kristof and another druid named Perth. I was imprisoned in a different location far from our village. The smells and sounds were different from what I knew. In the new location, the air was no longer arid and was cool and moist. I was experimented on, and one of the first things I noticed was my senses seemed to be enhanced, although I did not let on to the druids. I heard the sound of the ocean’s waves lapping on the beach and people talking in nearby buildings.”
“Did you ever discover where you were?” Rafael asked.
Lucan nodded. “I was being held in Blaye, France. One day, I was moved farther inland to a place we knew well. Remember when Father took us on our pilgrimage when we were ten?”
“The monolithic church of Saint-Jean in Aubeterre-sur-Dronne.”
Lucan smiled. “That was, for me, the best memory of my childhood. Not even being imprisoned in the necropolis ruins that memory.”
Morgan frowned. “Wait a minute. I’m confused. I’ve been to the church and don’t remember the necropolis being that large. How were you not discovered?”
“There are several alcoves carved into the burial chambers. Using spells, the druids expanded the burial caverns, essentially joining them on the other side of the original carved wall. This was done after the Benedictine monks enlarged the church in the 12 th century, so no one noticed that a couple of the alcoves had increased. Few went to the necropolis, so we were never discovered, and they could perfect their experiments without interruption.”
Lucan’s gaze dimmed as he continued. “I was placed in a small side room, kept dark so no one would notice the light. After the experiment, though, I was grateful for the darkness. Even candlelight was too bright for my overly sensitive eyes. While there, I only saw two people, Kristof and a young male who brought me my…dinner each evening.”
“Were you human or vampire at this time?” Morgan asked.
“I was converted not long after I joined the king’s court.” He met Rafael’s gaze. “Right before you witnessed the massacre. I was still considered newly made. For the first five or so years, most vampires can’t control the blood lust, but in vampire time, that’s like months. It was…difficult.”
“I’m sorry, Lucan. I wish you had told me,” Rafael whispered.
His friend shrugged. “It wouldn’t have made a difference. At that time, I wasn’t myself, and you could not have helped me. I can’t even tell you how long I was imprisoned. Time became inconsequential as I tried to remain sane. The only break I had each day was when the young boy brought me my blood-filled chalice. The rest of the time, I paced from one side of the room to the other. It took seven steps to cross the room, back and forth for hours. I felt like a caged animal.”
Lucan finally leaned back and crossed one slender leg over the other, resting his ankle on one knee, seemingly relaxed. Now, all Rafael had to worry about was how he would feed him when the time came. “When did you meet Dago?”
“I awoke one evening and noticed a bundle in the corner that hadn’t been there before. I had been kept in the dark for so long I could see shapes but not details, which is unusual for vampires. Even as a human, I had incredible eyesight. The bag seemed to shift, and I realized it was a person, alive but unconscious. All I could hope was the person had no more strength than I did. I was as weak as a baby from lack of sustenance and couldn’t have helped anyone, much less myself.”
He stared into the fireplace, the soft orange reflection dancing in his eyes. “At first, I thought it was a trap and wondered what Kristof was up to. He had never placed anyone in the room with me. I needn’t have worried, though, because Dago was much stronger than I, but Kristof had bound his powers. We later found out the damned druid had hoped I would drain Dago. Of course, that would have killed us both, but the stupid druid didn’t know that.”