Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The Cooper Hotel
Charleston, South Carolina
Five hours later . . .
Lena stood at the railing of the presidential suite’s private deck overlooking Charleston Bay. Wrapped in the soft white robe the hotel had provided, she felt soothed by the gentle laps of the shimmering water.
The sun was still an hour from rising. A thin layer of mist hovered over the bay. The city was quiet, its lights dancing across the water’s soft ripples. A boat horn sounded from somewhere far away.
She breathed in the salty air and tried to convince herself she was finally safe. It didn’t work. Her mind kept dragging her back to the cabin. The bathroom. Damien’s body and the pressure plate beneath Rafe’s boot.
Lena closed her eyes and pulled in the deepest of breaths. For a few terrible seconds, she’d been certain she was going to watch the man she loved die.
The realization came to her so clearly she almost laughed.
Loved.
There it was. No excuses. No carefully constructed walls. No more pretending what existed between them was merely history or nothing more than physical attraction.
She loved him.
I almost lost him.
The deck door was opened behind her.
Lena didn’t turn.
“I thought I might find you out here.” Rafe’s voice was rough with his usual rumble and exhaustion.
She glanced over her shoulder. He stood in the doorway wearing jeans and a dark T-shirt. His hair was still damp from a recent shower, and there was obvious fatigue on his handsome face.
So handsome.
Concern also shone in his dark eyes.
“You should be sleeping,” he murmured.
“I wasn’t tired.”
One corner of his mouth lifted. “That’s a lie.”
Lena turned back toward the bay. “You’re annoyingly perceptive.”
His masculine chuckle touched her deep inside as his soft footsteps carried him closer.
“Occupational hazard, but I’m pretty sure it’s one we share.”
Rafe joined her at the railing, and for a moment, neither spoke. His shoulder brushed hers, the innocent contact sending a pulse of warmth through her despite the early morning’s cool air. When their conversation resumed, their gazes remained forward, toward the expanding water.
“I keep thinking about that cabin,” she admitted.
“Me, too.”
“I thought you were going to die.”
He was silent for several seconds. “So did I.”
Lena turned and looked at him then. There was no irreverence in his expression. No attempt to make light of what had happened or brush it away. Just the truth, which was what she felt a sudden urgency to give him.
“I couldn’t lose you,” she whispered softly.
His eyes turned and locked with hers.
“Lena . . .”
“Let me finish.” She gave her head a quick shake, needing to get this out before she lost the nerve.
It didn’t matter if he didn’t feel the same. Lena hoped he did, and it had sure felt that way when he’d been kissing her feverishly in the moments following their harrowing experience.
But until she said it out loud, it was impossible to know.
Here goes nothing.
Lena opened herself up in ways she never had before.
“I’ve spent most of my life convincing myself that needing someone was a weakness,” she shared.
“A distraction from the job. That caring too much or letting someone in too deep would give someone a weapon to use against me later.” She swallowed.
“But when I thought you were going to die tonight, none of that mattered anymore. All I could think about was getting you off that plate. I never once worried about whether the killer was watching. My only concern was for you.”
His gaze softened, and his lips parted as if to speak, but Lena lifted a palm to stop him. If she didn’t get this out now, she feared she never would.
I have to tell him the rest.
“When I realized the bomb didn’t go off, and you were still alive . . .” Her voice caught. “I realized something else.”
“What’s that?”
Rafe reached for her hand, and she let him take it.
“I love you.” There. She’d said it.
The words hung between them. Simple. Terrifying.
True.
“I love you, too.” His fingers tightened around hers.
Her lungs froze, and her heart swelled. Deep down, Lena hadn’t just hoped. A part of her knew. But hearing him say those precious words still stole her breath.
She inched closer. “So what do we do now?”
His gaze dropped to her mouth. “I have a few ideas.”
Lena didn’t bother trying not to smile. “For once, I think we’re on the same page.”
Rafe kissed her then. It wasn’t cautious or soft. Not like two people testing the boundaries of something new and fragile. He kissed her like he’d been holding himself back for years and had finally decided to give in to his desires.
Lena gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him closer. The rest of the world seemed to fall away. There was no dead friend in the bathroom. No missing mentor, no killer hunting them, and no unanswered questions about who was behind it all or why.
There was only Rafe.
Only him.
His hands settled at her waist, drawing her against him until there was nothing between them except his clothes and her robe. Lena felt the steady strength of him beneath her palms, and a deep sense of relief washed over her.
She reveled in his warmth, in the solid comfort of his arms, and in the sense of safety she found there. After everything they’d been through, after how close she’d come to losing him, being with Rafe—like this—felt like it was exactly where she was meant to be.
Lena had spent years surviving. This was different. This time—
I’m choosing to live.
Rafe broke the kiss long enough to scoop her into his arms. Lena touched his face, her fingertips lovingly tracing the thick, coarse hair covering his jaw.
“Are you sure?” His eyes bore deep into her soul.
“I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”
His forehead rested against hers briefly before he went in for another kiss. When he pulled away, he turned and started for the open sliding door. They made their way inside the suite without speaking.
The suite was massive, with two separate king-sized bedrooms. Rafe didn’t bother asking before heading toward his. For Lena, there was no hesitation. No fear. Only the certainty that whatever came next, she wasn’t alone.
And for the first time in a very long time, the thought of needing someone else didn’t scare her or feel foreign.
It felt like coming home.
Rafe didn’t stop until they were next to his bed. Lights from outside filtered into the massive room through the sheer curtains covering the floor-to-ceiling windows.
It was just enough.
The soft carpet gave beneath her bare feet as he carefully let her legs slide to the floor. The silence of the room was such a stark contrast to the storm of emotions swirling around inside her.
Rafe guided them closer to the bed, stopping only when the backs of Lena’s knees touched the mattress’s edge. His gaze held hers in a silent question he’d already asked.
Lena rose to her tiptoes, pressing her mouth to his. The sweet kiss was followed by a whispered, “Yes.”
She was sure, and he clearly needed to hear her confirmation once more. But that was all it took.
He kissed her again, following her down as he eased her onto the bed.
The kiss ended far sooner than she’d anticipated when Rafe straightened and looked her way.
For a long moment, he said nothing, and Lena suddenly felt more vulnerable than ever before.
But oddly, for maybe the first time in her life, she didn’t feel any fear.
There was no judgement in his eyes. No demand. Only desire.
He wants me as much as I want him.
She reached for the tie on her robe, but Rafe’s hand slid between their bodies to stop her.
“Let me.”
A shiver raced through her.
He slowly loosened the belt and eased the robe from her shoulders, his eyes never leaving her face. Lena’s breath caught. At nearly fifty, this obviously wasn’t the first time she’d been naked in front of a man.
Apart from the few lovers she’d had in her past, she’d also shared hotel rooms, safe houses, and cramped quarters with colleagues. Some operations were held in conditions so dire she wasn’t afforded the luxury of modesty.
This was nothing like that. This was Rafe. The man who knew her history. Her sins. Her scars. The parts of herself she’d spent decades keeping locked away from the rest of the world.
He looked at her now as though none of those things mattered.
Lena reached for him, and he came back down beside her. The next part happened slowly.
One kiss became another. His hands moved over her with patient learning, rather than taking. Lena didn’t let herself hold back or show restraint. Instead, she let the warmth building inside her take over.
She’d never known what it felt like to be cared for without a cost. What it felt like to trust someone fully and let them see her completely.
Rafe sees me.
He understood the kind of woman she was, and miraculously, he wanted her regardless.
Lena let her head fall back onto the mattress as his hands and mouth worked her body into a frenzy. When the tension inside her began to rapidly build, she held onto him for dear life.
Her fingers tightened against his shoulders, the curved edges of her trimmed nails digging into his skin. Rafe murmured her name, his voice low and reassuring.
The pressure inside of her finally broke free.
A low, keening sound filled the room as Lena’s climax swept through her in a powerful wave. She closed her eyes and surrendered to it, relishing in the feel of Rafe’s arms as he held her through it.
When she finally opened her eyes, she found him watching her with a smile. Lena couldn’t help but return it.
“Don’t look so pleased with yourself, Brit.”
Rafe threw his head back and laughed with utter abandon. It was the most beautiful sound in the world.
He brushed a strand of hair away from her face before leaning down and kissing her slowly. Lena brought a palm to rest above his pounding heart.
For years, she’d believed peace was something that came from eliminating every threat. She knew better now.
This is true peace.