Chapter Twelve
Lula
I thought he was going to kiss me.
We’d both done the triangle thing with our eyes. We were close and cozy. His gaze was scorching.
Then… he just climbed off the damn bed. Like I wasn’t moments away from stripping naked and riding him.
Now, was the rational part of me happy that he’d missed the signals? Yeah. Because hooking up with Raff would have been a huge mistake.
It already felt like a mistake to know his real name.
It made him, I don’t know, more of a person and less of a caricature to me.
He wasn’t just some crazy, tattooed biker with a silly road name.
He was a man with a real name, with a past, with hopes and dreams, and an extensive knowledge of sex toys.
Rafe wasn’t just a hot guy who constantly woke up under a pile of hot, content women. He was a name you could scribble on a wedding invitation. Or beside yours on a deed. He was a name on an emergency contact list. He was someone on the school log book to call to pick up a sick kid.
A sigh escaped me, making Raff look over.
“Tired of being in the car?”
That wasn’t it, not really.
The road trip had been the most at-ease I’d been in years. It had been more fun than I’d known longer than that.
We’d spent the last two days looking at Spanish moss draping from live oaks, listening to cicadas. We ate too much Cajun food in Lafayette and took a ghost tour of historic downtown Tallahassee. We’d stayed in two more luxury hotels. I’d enjoyed another spa package.
The thing was… Raff seemed intent on keeping us around other people and busy.
We went midnight bowling, did one of those wine and painting events, and had every meal in a restaurant.
Almost like he didn’t want to be alone with me.
What was that about?
He’d made it clear for years that his end goal was to get me alone and naked.
What had changed?
Had spending some actual real time with me ripped off his rose-colored glasses? Had it knocked me off the pedestal he’d placed me on?
My heart sank. Even as my mind told me that it was for the best.
“Not really, no. I think this home stretch is just reminding me that this was never actually a vacation.”
“It was a vacation, though. This is the only part that isn’t. But if all goes to plan, I’m hoping we can squeeze some of that in too. What’s the point of going to Miami if you aren’t going to have some fun?”
The point was, of course, to see if his hacker friend Arty had tracked down Drake yet. And if so, where we could find him.
The thing was, I hadn’t thought about Drake in… days. He had been my hyperfocus every second of every day back in Shady Valley. I felt queasy day in and day out from thoughts of him and what he’d done, how I’d been played.
I’d been fully immersed in the road trip, the experiences, the food, a little work, and, well, Raff.
As much as I hated to admit it, I’d been thinking about him a lot.
And not just in a “what crazy or amazing thing is he going to have planned next?” kind of way.
But just… as a person. As, yes, a man. A very attractive man who always smelled faintly of lime, coconut, and rum…
even though I knew he hadn’t been drinking.
In fact, aside from having a mixed drink with me at one restaurant (because, in his words, the margaritas were ‘life-changing’), he actually never drank at all.
Which also tore down another preconceived notion I had about him, thanks to seeing him at The Bog all the time.
It was something that had also been a strike against him.
Because as long as my list was for desirable traits I’d want a partner to have, my list of red flags or traits I would never accept in a partner was even longer.
Pretty damn high on that list was being a heavy drinker.
It was right there below: long-term unemployed, drowning in debt, and one of those guys who is always ‘going to’ start a business and never actually doing it.
But above things like mediocre personal style or having a beard—both things I figured I could change or learn to work with.
There were other small things I’d learned about him that I found intriguing.
I’d always found him kind of silly and unserious, maybe even too laid-back.
He was, in many ways, all those things. But I’d also seen him spring into action—gun in hand—when he’d heard me screaming.
When we were walking down a busy street and a fight broke out, he shoved me behind him and wouldn’t let me move until the threat passed.
He’d spent a whole hour active-listening to an unhoused man tell him his life story before giving him a rolled-up wad of cash that had to be close to a thousand dollars.
He was very… present, engaged, empathetic, protective, and, yes, full of life.
I almost forgot what that looked like.
I was a workaholic, someone so invested in my future that I often overlooked the present.
And the person I was around the most—Cillian—was just the male version of me.
I didn’t get to see someone just… alive like that often.
Doing so with Raff had created this strange ache inside me that I didn’t fully understand but could no longer deny as it seemed to grow stronger by the day.
“Maybe a little fun,” I conceded.
“That’s my girl.”
It was a throwaway comment.
It meant nothing.
But try telling that to my fluttering heart.
I needed to get Drake found, have whatever confrontation I was going to with him, then get on a plane and get back home as soon as possible. I couldn’t let myself keep softening toward Raff, keep wanting things I knew didn’t fit in with my plans.
“So, which obnoxiously expensive hotel are we staying in here?” I asked, watching the water as we seemed to be driving further away from all the hotels in the heart of town.
“We’re not.”
“What do you mean we’re not? Where are we—oh, God. We’re not staying with your sister club, are we?”
“They have a nice clubhouse, but no. I asked another buddy of mine if we could crash at one of his places.”
“One of? You know someone who has multiple pieces of real estate in this area?” This area where most places cost in the millions.
“I know a couple people with multiple pieces of real estate in this area—among other places—actually. Plus yachts. Of the mega variety.”
“Who are you?”
Raff glanced over, that playful smile on his lips again. “If I knew you’d be so impressed with my rich friends, I’d have boasted about them sooner. This friend is Teddy. Theodore Kane, actually.”
“Theodore Kane. Teddy Kane. Of the Kane billionaires. That’s your friend?”
“To be fair, he’s more of a friend of the Golden Glades club. But we’ve hung out a few times. He’s good people.”
“He’s the generational, can’t-burn-through-this-kind-of-money-if-they-tried kind of wealthy.”
“So you can imagine how nice this place is gonna be. Though, he’s using the big house for some charity thing this weekend, so we’re getting one of the smaller ones.”
The ‘smaller’ one was still three floors of stone and glass. Right on the water. With a breathtaking infinity pool.
The interior was all white walls, wooden floors and ceilings, and understated, classy furniture.
“I’m almost afraid to ask how much a house like this costs.”
“I think when he bought it, it was for eighteen million.”
Eighteen million dollars just burning a hole in his pocket. That was insane.
“Why does he have multiple properties in the same area?” I asked as we both naturally gravitated toward the pool on the back patio, overlooking the ocean.
“He mostly lives at his penthouse and the big mansion if he’s looking for more privacy. I think he buys up these properties just as investments. Sits on them until the market is right, then sells them for a profit.”
I pulled up my skirt and lowered down next to the pool, dropping my legs into the water and letting out a groan at the coolness.
“You have a plan for a pool in that future house of yours?”
“I do. It would never have this kind of view, but I need somewhere to cool off with these awful heat waves we’ve been having.”
“You don’t need views like this. These are vacation views. What you need is a pool with enough room to fill with inflatable flamingos, beach balls, noodles, and one of those nets so you can spend hot days playing pool volleyball with the kids.”
I liked how he talked about the future. With so much certainty, like he didn’t doubt for a second that I would get all the things that I wanted. The way… he almost seemed to imply he’d be there in it.
But no.
Nope.
That wasn’t an option.
I had standards for a reason.
My mother had shown me what happens when you are so desperate not to be alone that you settle for any man who says he wants you, even if he has nothing to offer you and no skills to build with you.
Thankfully, she did eventually learn her lesson and find a good man, but my childhood was a revolving door of men who all said the right things, but then never had the actions to back them up.
Better not to even talk about the future around Raff if my mind was going to start inserting him into it.
“So, what’s the plan today?”
It was a short day of travel—just three hours on the road. We had no check-in times to worry about. The day was wide open.
“I mean, aside from seeing Arty, that is,” I said.
“About that?”
My stomach twisted.
“What about that?”
“Don’t go clenching those muscles you just had rubbed down last night,” he said, shaking his head at me. “I just haven’t been able to get in touch with him today. Tried calling twice. But that’s not unusual with him when he’s on a job. It’s usually more of a good sign.”
“How?”
“He gets super focused when he’s close to figuring something out.
We can assume he’s got something if he’s not answering.
As soon as he gets it all sorted, he’ll call.
Until then, we are wide open to all the possibilities that Miami has to offer.
Which, obviously, needs to involve a walk on the beach.
But we didn’t get a chance to wash our bathing suits, so, I have a surprise for you waiting up in your room. ”
“You need to stop buying me things,” I insisted, even as my heart tripped faster and I pulled my legs out of the pool to go investigate.
“That’s not gonna happen,” he said. “But you can repay me with a fashion show, if you want.”
“Well, I can’t deny such a small request, now can I?”
I didn’t realize the fashion show would involve four separate designer swimsuits, matching cover-ups, sandals, and a new pair of sunglasses.
“Oh, I think that’s the one,” he said when I walked out in a black one-piece with white trim and straps. I didn’t know what kind of magic was sewn into the bra portion, but the girls were high and proud.
“At least this one isn’t a thong.”
“I maintain that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the thong. In fact, there was a lot right about it.”
Admittedly, I’d only put it on to show him.
Despite my earlier decision to stop that foolishness.
I wouldn’t wear a thong bikini bottom out in public.
Not because there was anything wrong with them, per se.
But, I had an ass. And I didn’t need every Tom, Dick, and Harry noticing it.
But Raff? Raff had earned a little sneak peek of it.
“This is all too much,” I told him as I pulled on some shorts and the cover-up that matched the suit.
“Nope. It was just the right amount. Now, beach?”
He’d changed into an absurd set of trunks featuring rubber duckies in bathing suits and a white ribbed tank top that reminded me that while he was on the thinner side, he still had some great arms.
I’d never been a fan of tattoos. But I couldn’t seem to stop looking at his. Some were gorgeous pieces of work. Some were absurd… like a slice of pepperoni pizza on his ankle.
“Yes, beach.” I emptied the essentials into the new slouchy crochet beach purse that had also been with the clothes.
“You know, I’m probably going to need you to slather sunscreen on my back,” he said as we crossed the backyard of the beach house toward the sand. He shot me a devilish look.
“You have a shirt on.”
In one swift motion, the shirt was off and tossed back toward the beach house property.
“No, I don’t.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“You love it.”
The scary thing?
I think a part of me might have been starting to.