Chapter 31
Amy
On Tuesday, I hear about Saint’s rise to popularity. A fancy car, a house, and the clear understanding I’m not the only one he’s fucked. It wasn’t like the thought didn’t fester in the back of my mind, and I didn’t have an idea.
The girl in the library was a giveaway. The familiarity was there. The way she looked for him and how stupid I was to fall for it myself. Again.
It’s like I never learn, but it’s done. I can’t change the past. All I can do is learn from it and try to move on, but in a place like this, it’s like navigating a minefield.
By Wednesday, I have more information than I want and less understanding than I need.
The notebook on my desk has four fresh pages of compressed shorthand that have not resolved anything.
I know how stories travel on campus. I learned that back in high school.
The way the detail accretes in transit. The athletics locker room shower, the stairwell, and how rich and connected he is with the predominant families of Kenyan.
The type of wealth you hear about from places like Monaco.
The kind of wealth that isn’t announced until it decides, which is a choice rather than by accident.
Saint is none of my business, but I’m part of a bigger game. A game where I don’t see an option to win. I’m outnumbered. Outclassed. And what is worse, no one gives a shit about me.
If anything, Roman by now must be going crazy looking for me. It’s only a matter of time before he or whoever hunts Prey gets their hands on me.
One thing I can be certain of is that Saint isn’t to be trusted. Azriel tried to warn me, and I didn’t listen.
I head to the library, trying not to draw attention to myself as I speed walk toward the building. Once inside, I find the table where Rose and Azriel sit during their tutoring sessions, and I find her with a book open, reading.
“Hey,” I announce myself.
She looks up, smiles at me, and marks the paragraph with a sticky. “Hey, I’m glad you’re early so we can catch up before Azriel shows up.”
I pull out a chair and sit. “Me too. Everywhere I go, people won’t shut up about him. It’s like the man is an enigma.”
“It’s because he is a mystery and people love it when they can’t figure someone out. Once they get a juicy piece of information, they have something to talk about. Besides, it’s not like the guy is normal. He’s huge. Gorgeous.”
I know, but I won’t tell her how I know what part of him is huge. I try to keep a straight face and listen to what she knows. “Do you think he’s one of the sons of Kenyan or whatever?”
“I think he is. I mean, you don’t become rich overnight, right?
It’s not like he won the Ohio lottery. He was born wealthy.
How wealthy? One can only assume, given that the car and the house are on the same street as one of the older sons, from what I heard.
The question is, why didn’t everyone know before?
Something like that around here isn’t overlooked.
Garret is connected, but he’s not one of them like Saint is, yet everyone kisses his ass like he is. ”
I know the answer to that, but I don’t think I should share that part with her yet.
For some reason, I feel like that is something I shouldn’t say aloud.
It’s obvious they kept him locked up for a reason, but why let him out now?
I’m sure whatever the reason, the people who run this place have plenty of resources to handle it.
“Who knows. All I know is that he can’t be trusted.”
“I wouldn’t blame you for saying that with the way he looks at you.”
I lean back in the chair and pause. “What do you mean?”
She leans over the edge of the table and lowers her voice. “You haven’t noticed the times he’s passed by the quad when we’ve sat there for lunch?”
I shake my head. For the life of me, I didn’t even notice. “No.”
“He goes to the gym all the time and works out like he’s trying to exorcise a demon with how much weight he lifts.
All the guys from the swim team talk about it.
It’s probably why the whole locker thing with that brunette in one of his classes isn’t a lie.
She works out around the same time he does. ”
My stomach sinks, my heart starts hammering inside my chest, replaced by a pressure when I think about him fucking someone else in the shower, but I push it away.
It’s real.
It happened, and I have to accept that I’m not special to him or anyone.
Before the note under the door. Before the back row in this library. Before him telling me about his past on the roof, and after, when I think of his hand over mine in the dark, and the word yes said quietly, giving myself to him completely.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t notice.”
“He stares at you like you are the only one eating your lunch at the table.”
I didn’t notice because I was too busy thinking about him. My future and what becomes of it by being here. And I now hate knowing that I gave myself to him so freely.
I scan the library like Saint is going to materialize between the bookshelves before my eyes land on her again. “Does he?”
“You like him?”
“Who?” I play dumb.
She laughs through her nose. “Saint?”
I look around nervously. “What makes you think that? You know what guys like Saint are like, and we both know what we are in a place like this.”
“Everything has a price.”
“That’s right.”
She nods in agreement. “I wish I could say you’re wrong, but it’s not.”
“Isn’t it the same with you and Garret?”
She rolls her eyes. “It’s complicated.”
I don’t press her for more because it’s complicated for me too. Everything is.
My life.
This place.
Saint.
“So you want to go to Babylon on Friday?” I offer, like I planned on going.
She shrugs. “Sure. My last class ends at six. We can meet up there at say…seven.”
“Perfect.” I get up and grab my bag when I notice the time. Azriel is about to show up any minute. “I gotta go.”
She checks the time, realizing the same thing. “Okay, see you Friday,” she says with a warm smile.
“What’s happening on Friday? Can I come?”
We both freeze when Azriel takes a seat next to Rose. “Hey,” I greet him.
He gives me a once-over. “Hey.” He glances at Rose. “What’s going on Friday?”
My eyes widen at Rose, not sure what to say, but she saves me. “We are going to hang out at Babylon on Friday after class.”
He glances between us. “Oh, I guess I’ll see you there.”
Rose smiles. “Okay.”
Azriel turns to me and gives me a slow once-over. “See you Friday, Amy.”
The way he says it gives me chills, and the way Rose’s eyebrows rise tells me I didn’t imagine it. Is he flirting with me?
“See you later,” I say before turning to leave.
I don’t have any time to think about Azriel and how he invited himself because when I get inside my dorm building, Saint is leaning on the wall next to my door with his knee bent, the sole of his black boot flat against the wall, scrolling through his phone.
He’s wearing a black hoodie and black jeans.
His long hair is braided. I admire how good he looks with the few seconds I have before he notices me.
When he looks up, I don’t give him time to say anything. “What are you doing here?”
He slides his phone into his pocket and straightens to his full six-foot-two, making me feel small in comparison at five-foot-two.
“It’s obvious. I’ve been waiting for you.”
I slide the key into the lock, turn it, and push my door open. “Now why would you do that?”
“I wanted to see how you are?”
I drop my bag on my bed. “As you can see, I’m fine.”
“Why are you mad?”
Is he for real? Is he delusional? Scratch that. He might be more fucked up in the head than delusional, but I’m not going to bash him for that. We all have a dark past.
Problems.
Mental ones.
Everyone copes differently, and I’m no different.
But it doesn’t excuse his behavior.
I finally face him, putting on a straight face.
I never thought it would be hard until I actually tried to hide the way I feel.
I like him.
I’m attracted to him.
Physically.
Even mentally, but I hate that he mixes his wants and needs. I can’t say I’m jealous because I don’t know him, and he doesn’t know me beyond what we shared in this room, the library, and the roof.
Not much to go by, but still. The more time I spend with him, the more attached I’ll get to the idea of wanting him, and that is obviously impossible.
“Let me guess, the fact that I don’t know you and that you used me like those other girls you fucked around campus.”
His lips twitch slightly, and it makes my blood boil, but at the same time, I want to kiss him. “Are you jealous of the thought of me being with someone else?”
“I’m not.”
I don’t know what I feel. I’ve been in survival mode most of my life. I don’t know what I could be jealous of.
He steps forward, and I step back. He furrows his brows. “You’re afraid of me.” He says it like he can read my innermost fears—a fear I’m not sure about yet.
“Should I be? I mean, I’m Prey, right? Another one of your games. The kind rich guys from here like to play.”
His jaw hardens. The little smirk melts off just as fast. “I’m not like the guys from here.”
“People around here say different. I experienced it for myself, didn’t I? Or did you fuck them at a different angle?”
He backs up.
My words slap him with the hurt and anger I’m feeling at being used. And it’s my fault for thinking he was someone different. Someone safe. Who knows what he plans to do with me? He’ll discard me once he’s done and leave me for someone else to pick up the scraps like I’m a piece of meat to try.
“That’s not how it is, and you know it.”
I laugh sarcastically. “Get out, Saint.” I grab a hair tie and pull my hair into a ponytail to give my shaking hands something to do. “And stay away from me.”
He walks up on me fast, not giving me enough time to retreat before he grips my neck with one hand and pulls me closer. “Now we both know that is definitely not gonna happen.” He leans close, his mouth right by my left ear. “Now get some sleep, Amy. You’re going to need it.”
I try to pull away, but he’s strong. Strong enough to keep his hold. Gentle enough for it not to hurt. “Fuck you,” I grit between clenched teeth.
He chuckles, and the sound pushes between my thighs, making my pussy pulse with want.
“I plan on it and from the way the pulse on your neck is beating…” He rubs his nose along my cheek until his lips are inches from mine.
“You’re hoping I do. You’re hoping I fuck you better than I did them.
In every hole, filling it with my cum so you can erase whatever fucked-up memory that haunts you in your dreams, replacing it with your screams every time my dick pounds into your body. ”
Holy fuck.
I shake my head, hating that he’s right, but even more for wanting it.
He finally releases me and walks out without another word. Without another glance.
I stare at the closed door, imagining all the ways he would take me, loving and hating it at the same time.