Chapter 5 #2
She frowned at him. “Well, maybe not absolutely completely. I didn’t want you to go after me and I told you as much. Repeatedly.”
Commands didn’t work on him either, not when they came from her. Go figure. He glared right back at her. “Barebones truth. You’d have drowned without me and you know it.”
“I’m stronger than you think.”
“And more reckless.”
She huffed out a breath and rubbed at the bruise on her forehead. “All right. That’s a fair point, but I didn’t want an escort. And I certainly don’t want your death on my conscience.”
“More like you didn’t want anyone around calling you out on your ridiculous choices.
” He heard the quickening of her breath.
He felt more at ease when they were sparring.
That was infinitely better than the feelings that crept up when he allowed himself to consider what he’d experienced when he couldn’t locate her in that raging river.
He focused on the angry crimp of her mouth, but the slight curling of her hair still damp from the shower drew his attention. He wondered how soft it would be to his touch.
“Gideon, you butted in.”
He waved a careless hand. “Sue me.”
She rested her head on the back of the sofa and emitted a long-suffering sigh.
As if she were the one being put upon. A piece of work, as his father would say.
But his father would likely know how to approach Mackenzie with more tact and grace.
Gideon was not overflowing with tact, as both his brothers regularly reminded him. What was the right approach here?
Rain pummeled the roof, echoing like mini explosions.
“You think Kevin is going to call the cops?” she said.
“He might have already, but I doubt they have the manpower to make it here to arrest you at the moment, especially in light of having to evacuate the station and deal with the river incident. Bigger problems. You’re likely going to enjoy another night of freedom, at least.”
She smoothed her borrowed clothes. “You know I can’t go to the police tomorrow.”
And there it was, the pronouncement he’d expected.
He kept his tone level and sure. “Yes, you can, Mackenzie. When Kevin leaves us at the stables, we’ll make our way back to my Jeep if possible.
Ten miles, max. I’ll give you a ride to Clover, drop you at the police station there.
I’ll see to it you get there safely. We can explain the delay, no phone service, et cetera.
Get you a good lawyer. They may drop the whole thing at some point if you turn yourself in. ”
She shook her head, and he resisted the urge to thunk his skull on the window behind him.
Through gritted teeth, he tried again. “All right. Why don’t you explain to me your big plan, then, huh?
How do you see this thing playing out? Are you proposing to live like a fugitive for the rest of your life?
” He let the arrow fly. “Disappear and have your parents wonder what happened to their only living child?” He saw his words hit their mark as she paled, and he felt sick with shame.
She was a piece of work, but bringing up Aaron was a low blow.
Her nostrils flared, fury painted on her face. “Don’t talk about my parents.”
He held up a palm. “I’m sorry. That was crossing the line, and I shouldn’t have said it. But the question is valid. What is your plan, Zee? You have cop training, you’re not naive. You know what happens if you run from the law. A fugitive life? That’s no life at all.”
She cocked her head, and the lamplight caught the delicate curve of her cheeks and lips, at odds with the ferocious gleam in her eyes. He’d blown it with his earlier comment, and whatever chance he’d had to convince her was gone.
“Of course I’m not going to live as a fugitive. I’ll go to the cops as soon as I’ve done what I need to.”
“And what exactly is that, now that your contact is out of reach?”
“You don’t need to know,” she said coldly.
“Humor me.”
“I don’t think so. Go home to your parents and your brothers and enjoy the rest of your leave.
I’m not your concern any longer. I appreciate what you did for me, and I’m sorry I used you to get to my informant in jail, but we’re done.
Tomorrow we part ways at the stables, and I don’t expect we’ll see each other again. ”
Surprising how the words hit him hard. It was what he wanted too. Wasn’t it? To say goodbye for the last time to the passionate, furious woman who’d pretended to steal his wallet and almost gotten them both killed? Repeatedly?
Her gaze drifted again to the framed map. What was she planning? He had to know.
“But have you thought it through? What are your options if you don’t go to the cops?
You can’t return to your hotel. You won’t be able to talk further to your informant.
” An idea surfaced. “Wait a minute. She shared something with you, didn’t she?
In the van maybe, before the crash? Some type of lead here in town and you’re determined to follow it.
” She didn’t react, but he knew he’d hit on it.
“It’s a bad idea, Zee. A real bad idea.”
Her face was stony and she allowed him only a brief glance. “Like I said, Gideon, you don’t need to know. I’m not your concern.”
The unspoken swirled between them like a poisonous mist, and he couldn’t stand it another moment. “Since we’re about to part ways, then why don’t you just say what’s on your mind? Get it off your chest.”
“Say what?”
“You know what. We won’t have another opportunity. Now or never.”
The seconds passed between them, their gazes locked.
“Okay, I will.” Her chin raised a half inch. “Like I said, I’m not your concern, but Aaron was. We both failed him.”
Failed him. The blow cut into him, deep to the core where the reservoir of darkness pooled. He was suddenly desperate for her to understand. The words flowed out before he could stop them.
“I didn’t have the conversation with Aaron that night. You’re right. And I’ll feel the guilt of that for the rest of my life. But even if I had, I couldn’t take responsibility again.” The last word slipped out before he could stop it.
She jerked. “What do you mean, again? What are you talking about?”
With great effort, he rose from the sofa and straightened the chairs around the kitchen table. “Nothing.”
“It’s not nothing. What is it you don’t want to tell me? What happened between you and my brother?”
The throbbing in his shoulder worsened into a pulsing river of pain. He poured the last of the coffee from the pot and slugged it down, even though it was only lukewarm. Then he washed his mug and the pot and grabbed a towel to dry them. “Not important. Not anymore.”
“I think it is.” She got up and faced him. Arms crossed, she kept her voice barely above a whisper. “When exactly did you accept responsibility for my brother? When he got drunk on the base and you couldn’t wait to turn him in? He told me.”
“Is that how he explained it?” Salt in the wound, but not surprising, he supposed.
Aaron hadn’t told her or his parents what really happened their senior year either—the fire he’d caused that led to Gideon’s injury.
He hadn’t revealed that Gideon’s lie to protect him had cost the Landry family dearly.
Acid churned in his stomach. That one small deceit had ballooned into a catastrophe.
On some sleepless nights, during the long, cruel hours before dawn, he wondered if that was the reason Aaron had never grown up—because Gideon had not allowed him to way back then.
He’d had the sneaking suspicion that Aaron decided to enlist with him because he didn’t know what else to do. The thought bothered Gideon then, still did—along with the invisible distance between them bookended by that day in high school and the moment Gideon found Aaron in the ditch.
He folded the towel into a neat rectangle while she stood there, waiting. She wasn’t going to let it go.
He considered telling her everything. Why not?
If her plans worked out, he’d never see her again.
But what would that revelation accomplish?
It couldn’t bring Aaron back, and she most likely wouldn’t believe him anyway.
Her brother was her hero. The truth would only cause her more pain. At least he could save her from that.
“I loved Aaron like my own brothers,” he said slowly. “I wasn’t the friend he needed. Let’s leave it at that.”
She stood there in the weak light, her skin luminous, hair a dark cloud, waiting for more. He couldn’t give it. Not now. Not ever.
“Gideon . . .”
“Get some sleep. Sofa looks more comfortable than the kid zone, so you take it,” he said, picking up his backpack and heading for the cramped bedroom across from Kevin’s.
Bunk beds beckoned. They were pint-size, covered with rumpled checkered bedding.
Toys were dumped in a crate in the corner, and a small table housed a scattering of crayons and pieces of coloring paper.
The photo on the wall showed Kevin and a smiling blond-haired woman and their two children, all standing next to a brown horse.
“My home and my family come first,” Kevin had said.
Gideon thought about his mom, the cancer treatments that had weakened her, the small farmhouse his parents shared clamoring for repairs and modifications. His mind drifted back to his high school years.
“He needs a complete shoulder reconstruction,” the doctor had said. After gently clearing his throat, he’d added, “And I’m afraid the cost far exceeds your insurance coverage.”
His mother’s mouth had quivered as his father took her hand. “Whatever my son needs, he’ll have.”
And Gideon had indeed received the procedures necessary to rebuild his joint, then gone on to the military career he dreamed of, but the expense of the surgery, the extended hospital stay due to complications, and the physical therapy after had drained his parents’ bank account.
So now it was his turn to step up.
Whatever you need, Mom. He’d be there to pay for it if necessary, and provide support physically, do the remodeling on the house.
Rope his cousin Johnny into helping him.
Four more months of service and he’d have his discharge and his wilderness classes in place.
Four more months and he’d finally be able to put his family first like he should have done so long ago.
He dumped out the contents of his backpack and arranged the items in a neat row on the floor to dry. His shoulder complained, as did his banged-up shins. From a plastic pack, he extracted a cord to charge his cell and one to replenish the external battery pack.
Backpack empty, the weight felt wrong. Something still inside? He rooted around, then lifted the flap at the very bottom.
A cell phone in a waterproof bag. Mackenzie’s.
A slow smile spread across his face as he realized that she must have stowed it in his backpack when she was making small talk in his Jeep, waiting to stage the mugging.
She knew that after each mission he would completely empty the pack and clean it down to the last square inch—at which point he’d no doubt discover her cell phone. Crafty woman.
She probably expected he’d have it sent to her place after her arrest, and it would be waiting for her when she posted bail.
He chuckled. Too smart for her own good, that one.
No news there. She was the “always do the bare minimum required and still ace school exams” kind of person.
Gideon was the “study until his eyes bled and out-prepare everyone else” type.
They had little in common, so naturally he’d been fascinated by her.
Aaron’s baby sister, always dancing in the wings of his attention—a rare butterfly he could never catch but only admire.
He fingered her phone, fighting against a killer wave of fatigue that dulled all his senses.
Mackenzie believed her mission to bring Aaron’s killer to justice was what her family needed. She was dead wrong, especially if it cost her parents the life of their other child.
Don’t you see that you won’t fill the hole, Zee?
He’d learned that lesson the hard way. Sometimes, no matter how mighty the struggle, people were lost, a fact he detested and fought against his entire career. There were circumstances when “return with honor” meant accepting the end of a life, and admitting that allowed families to heal and go on.
Maybe not exactly move forward, but at least live their lives as best they could. When had he gotten so philosophical?
During hours of lying on his back in a sleeping bag, staring at the sparkling universe?
Could be he’d picked it up observing his older brother Cullen loping around with a toddler on his shoulders, telling her stories about the brave mother she’d never know. Because that woman’s life mattered, even if it was gone.
Or it might be due to the fact that his parents had never once complained about all they’d sacrificed to rebuild his shoulder, never ceased thanking God that Gideon was alive. That was honor, he thought, the simple act of carrying on.
Mackenzie was headed for a terrible fall. Smart woman, gifted, charismatic, and completely oblivious.
Underneath the frustration, he felt a twinge of something he finally identified as admiration. Outside of a select few, he’d never met anyone with her level of drive and fearlessness. In her misguided way, she was as committed to her family as he was. And she had way more grit than her fair share.
A clap of thunder split the night, followed by a fresh roar of falling rain.
Would she be there in the morning? He wanted to stalk back out to the sofa and keep watch like the proverbial hawk.
But if she was going to sneak off again, there wasn’t much he could do about it. His body was shutting down, spiraling him toward the sleep demanded by his pounded flesh.
Since the kids had taken their pillows, he rolled his extra jacket into a bundle and covered up with the checkered blanket. Feet sticking over the edge of the mattress, he closed his eyes and prayed that Mackenzie would not disappear into the howling storm.