20. Cian
Chapter 20
Cian
M aybe I should have told Scarlett about the community for single moms before taking her there. I could have approached the idea of her leading a foundation that would do more work like that before we left Emerald, and she could’ve had time to process it. She did love the actual community itself. Seeing it in person, the actual embodiment of our ideas, touched her. I could tell she was impressed when she saw it and brainstorming more projects was just as fun as last time.
But I want her to be over-the-top enthusiastic. I want her to have work she loves . Work that shows off the incredible person she is and helps her see that she doesn’t need to stay quiet and under the radar and wait for people to come to her. She can go out and touch people’s lives even before they realize how much they need her.
I’ve seen my sister exhausted, angry, stressed about the work she does, but she’s motivated and exhilarated by it at the same time because she believes in it. Fiona knows she’s doing something meaningful.
In the short time I’ve known my sister-in-law Abigail I’ve seen the same. Abi doesn’t fit into a lot of “normal” peer groups. She has social anxiety, but the work she does can make her downright chatty and charming when you get her going on a topic she’s enthusiastic about, like the indoor farms she plans to build in cities across the US with my brother’s money.
Astrid is the same. She’s been through hell with her injury and rehab, and she’s not the same sunny girl I grew up with, but when she talks about the advocacy work she does, there’s a spark that nothing else gives her.
That’s what I saw in Scarlett in New Orleans two years ago. It’s what I see now when she’s at home talking with Mariah, or when she’s brainstorming with me.
But she doesn’t talk about her work that way. She definitely doesn’t talk about Emerald that way. She’s in Emerald to prove points, and it sucks the life out of her.
I want her to be happy. I want to give her something that gives her the fire and drive, that taps into that part of her I’ve seen in all these other women in my life.
Fuck, I want that for myself. It’s what I’m searching for.
I watch her cross to the bed in the suite and lean over to take her sandals off. It’s September, which is still warm in Ohio, but it’s downright hot in Louisiana which means Ruby packed Scarlett a sundress and sandals that she changed into on the plane.
She looks gorgeous and it is a testament to how into our conversation I was that I wasn’t feeling her up under the table at the restaurant.
She turns and runs her hands through her hair which causes the hem of the dress to rise on her perfect thighs.
“You should know,” she says, letting her arms, and hair, drop. “I’m proud of you, Cian. What you did with that community is incredible. I’m so glad you did it.”
Hearing she’s proud of me should not have the effect it has on me, but my chest warms and tightens.
I take a step toward her. “I’m glad. I thought of you every single day during the process.”
“I wish I could’ve seen it coming together.”
I come to stand right in front of her. “I do too. I kept worrying I was missing something. I kept wishing I could share the decisions. I kept wondering what you would think of certain things. I wished that you could meet Joann. And that she could know you.”
“Have you told your sister about it?” she asks, looking up at me.
I shake my head. “Henry is the only one who knows about it.”
Scarlett frowns. “Why? You should be proud of it.”
I’m not sure why I haven’t told anyone. Then I realize that’s not entirely true. “Because I did it to share it with you. I guess when I couldn’t, I just…kept it to myself. I wasn’t sure it would mean that much to anyone else.”
She looks sad and then frustration crosses her face. “They would think it was great. Your family is full of people who do things for others, who look for ways to improve lives. I know they’d want to know.”
I feel a twist of frustration as well. “Maybe I’ll mention it. Maybe when the foundation is established and there’s more going on.”
“Maybe you’re putting too much pressure on it. Maybe you’re thinking too big. No one’s expecting you to solve world peace, or cure cancer.”
I study her strand of hair with its blend of at least four different browns from gold to caramel to deep rich coffee, instead of looking into her eyes. “Why not? People like me are supposed to be the ones doing that stuff.”
Her hand comes up to circle my wrist. “Cian.”
I look at her. Her big brown eyes are also a swirl of gold and a deeper chocolate brown.
“If you’re waiting to do something that big, you’re going to be sitting around letting small, wonderful things pass you by,” she says softly, squeezing my wrist. “I’m not saying that if something big and wonderful comes up, you shouldn’t grasp it and put your whole heart, and all of your resources behind it, but a whole bunch of wonderful little things can also add up.” She lifts a hand to my face and smiles. “And sometimes those things that seem like small, wonderful things to a prince are pretty huge to regular people.”
She lifts up on her tiptoes and presses her lips to mine.
I slide my hand to the back of her head and deepen the kiss immediately.
Maybe I can’t help cure cancer, but I can be everything this woman needs me to be.
She has been real with me. Very fucking real. In this very room in this very hotel in this very city.
“For a woman trying to convince me not to be in love with her, you’re doing a terrible job of it,” I say against her mouth.
I feel the shiver that goes through her.
Her voice is breathless when she says, “I need you. The last two nights have been amazing, but I need more.”
I know what she needs. She needs a place where she can feel safe and worshipped while being as open and free and sexual as she wants and needs to be.
I am exactly that place for her.
I brush my lips back and forth against hers. “You mean the last two nights when I’ve given you hard orgasms, but not let you have my cock?”
“Yes,” she practically whimpers.
“The cock that you’ve always been so greedy for? The cock you took on your back patio where any of your neighbors could’ve seen you?”
This time she does whimper. “Cian.”
I tug on her hair, tipping her head back so that I can nip and lick down her throat. “You’re the one who has kept us apart for nineteen months, you wicked little witch.” I suck on the base of her throat then drag my mouth up to her ear. “For six months you knew how to find me, but you stayed away. Even when Henry came to get you. You could have had all of me, any time you wanted me.”
Her hands are fisted in the front of my shirt. “I know,” she says raggedly.
“So you know what I want from you?” I ask, nipping her earlobe before lifting my head.
She looks a little dazed and her cheeks are flushed pink. She’s fucking gorgeous like this.
“What?”
I run my thumb over her lower lip. “I want to hear you beg.”
She sucks in a little breath, her pupils dilate, and her fingers tighten in my shirt. “Please. Please , Cian.”
I give her a little smile. Then shake my head slowly. “On your knees, my pretty witch.”
Her eyes flare with heat, then she nips the tip of my thumb. Lust whips through me, tightening my cock. Fuck.
“Now,” I command, low and gruff.
She flattens her palms on my chest and then starts lowering herself to the floor.
The plush carpet here by the bed gives me zero hesitation about having her on her knees in front of me. I keep my hand in her hair, letting the silky strands slip over my palm until she’s fully kneeling, with her hands resting on her thighs. Then I wrap the length around my fist.
“You’ve denied both of us for almost two years,” I say.
She nods. “I know.”
“This is your chance to ask me for forgiveness,” I tell her.
She swallows and I see her wiggle her fingers. I know it’s adrenaline. We established previously that she could easily say no to anything I asked of her. I was calling the shots, but she was always in control.
Pineapple was her safe word.
That comes back to me in this moment, and I almost laugh. Obviously, pineapples are a favorite of hers.
“What’s your safe word?”
She looks up at me quickly, obviously also having forgotten we’d established one of those.
She doesn’t have to think though. “Pineapple.” She gives me a smile.
I nod. “Good.” I unbutton and unzip my jeans. My cock is steel hard, already leaking at the top. She’s had this effect on me from minute one.
She studies me, wetting her lips.
I take my cock in hand, stroking up and down my length, watching her face.
This is all just a game. I would gladly carry her to bed, lay her back, and worship her all night. I’m putting her on her knees because this is what she wants. I love that I know her. I love that I know she loves this dirty side of herself as much as I do.
Hands still on her thighs, she starts to lean in, but I grip her hair. “Greedy,” I chide softly. “I haven’t heard a single I’m sorry or please since your knees hit the carpet.”
She looks up at me from beneath her lashes. “Please, Cian.”
“Please what?” I stroke my cock in front of her face again.
“Please can I suck your cock?”
I blow out a breath. This gorgeous, amazingly strong, big-hearted, wounded woman is saying this to me, and I just want to tell her she’s incredible and buy her flowers and run her a bubble bath and make love to her.
But she needs this .
I coach her. “Please can I use my mouth to make you feel good to make up for being a bad girl and keeping my pussy away from you for almost two years.” I tug on her hair slightly. “Say that.”
She repeats the words.
“Even though you made me feel better than anyone ever has,” I say.
She obediently says the sentence back to me.
“Even though you filled my pussy up and fucked me so well I didn’t take a step the next day without feeling you.”
I see her fingers dig into her thighs as she makes a soft moaning sound before she says the words.
“I’m sorry that I made you fuck your own hand, replaying every second of being with me every night instead of sinking into my perfect pussy.”
She whimpers softly, but again says the exact words.
Finally, I lean closer, dragging the head of my cock over her lips. “That was very wicked of you, Scarlett. And now that I have you here, alone, all to myself, I’m going to remind you of all the reasons you do not want to do that again.”
She swallows hard. “Okay.”
“You can suck my cock now.”
Her tongue comes out, giving me a lick.
I hiss. “That’s it,” I urge.
I move my hand, and she wraps hers around the base. She strokes up and down as she takes more of me into her hot, slick mouth. Her tongue swirls around the top, then she slides me further in, sucking.
I grit my teeth. I taught her well last time. She remembers exactly what I like. And it has been a long nineteen months, and fuck , I’ve missed her hot, greedy mouth, her tongue, seeing her kneeling at my feet.
I want this to last. I want her to have this erotic moment. I want to remind her how fucking hot things are between us. But the chances of me lasting more than a couple of minutes are very slim.
“Take me deeper,” I urge.
She moans and I see her reach between her legs.
I pull on her hair. Her eyes come up to mine. “Don’t you dare touch yourself,” I growl. “You are going to just have to suffer a little, sweet witch, and remember that it’s your own fault.”
She brings that hand up to cup my balls and begins to work me faster, moving her hand up and down my length, taking me deeper.
I think for a moment of pulling her off but I know she likes to swallow—that was a very nice discovery—and fuck, I need her to take it all. “Need you to swallow, Scarlett,” I tell her.
She squeezes me and sucks harder and a moment later, I cup the back of her head as I come.
She takes all of me, happily, greedily. When she pulls back, she’s breathing hard. Her eyes are shiny with desire and her cheeks are pink.
I grasp her upper arms and pull her to her feet, sealing my mouth over hers. I pull back, resting my forehead on hers. “Jesus, you’re incredible.”
“I’m sorry I kept us apart,” she says.
I chuckle. “Oh, no. You’re not quite done being punished for that.”
A shiver goes through her. “Oh…good.”
I sweep her up into my arms and turn to the bed. I lay her back on the pillows, then step back, reaching over my head to grab my shirt and yank it over my head. I toss it to the side and bend to untie my shoes, kicking them to the side as I move to push my pants off.
She’s watching me and as I straighten, she props up on her elbows. “What…” She trails off.
I follow her gaze to my left bicep. To my new tattoo. At least, new since we were last together.
She looks down at the bracelet she wears on her left wrist, where Mariah’s birth date is tattooed, then back to my tattoo.
“You got my elephant as a tattoo?” she asks softly.
“I did.” I leave my boxers on but kick my pants to the side. I kneel on the bed next to her, bracing my hands on either side of her hips.
She lies back but lifts a hand to trace a finger over the shape of the elephant holding a gem in its trunk. “Why?” she asks.
“Because I trusted I would return the bracelet to you eventually and wanted to keep that with me.”
Her eyes lift to mine. “When did you get it?”
“On the year anniversary of us meeting.”
“Cian…”
“Listen, Glinda, if you think you’re going to get all mushy and distract me from all the very depraved things I have planned for you, you are very mistaken.” I lean in and kiss her.
God, I want to be mushy. I want to tell her that I’m crazy about her. That I am not getting over her. In fact, I’m falling more in love with her every minute. But she doesn’t really want that right now. And once I start all of that, I’m not going to be able to stop. So I need to keep this dirty and fun. There will be time for the rest of that later.
“Okay,” she says, putting her hand against my cheek and giving me a mischievous smile.
“Now shut up and spread your legs and let me at this pussy,” I say against her lips. “Because I’ve been very good and have been quick and quiet in the dark for three nights in Emerald, but now I want to be very, very bad and I want you wide open, lights nice and bright so I can see every single wet, pink inch, and I’m going to take my time and make you very loud.”
She’s breathing hard again and I’m not sure she could spell ‘elephant’ at the moment.