28. Cian
Chapter 28
Cian
Jen: Oh my God, Lindsey, we’ve been getting some very interesting news that we haven’t had before about the royal family.
Lindsey: I know. It makes me want to go back and think about everything that happened with Torin and Abigail also.
Jen: I know. But it’s especially interesting in light of the information we have about Cian going to look for this mystery woman in the United States.
Lindsey: We need to fill everyone in. According to our sources, apparently the king is pressuring the grandkids to get married. The source isn’t saying exactly why. It has to do with some long-standing agreement that they would all be married by a certain time or something. Our source either doesn’t know the specifics or isn’t sharing. But either way the grandkids are feeling some pressure.
Jen: All I really hear is that we might be having some more royal weddings coming up. Bring it on!
Cian: what’s your favorite dinner? Home cooked. Not burgers or pizza.
Mariah: chicken Parmesan bake.
do you know how to make it?
yeah
can you teach me tonight? We’re out of casseroles.
what happened to Diane?
Cian: I heard your mom talking to her and then on the phone with Amber. She set Diane up to help Amber instead.
heart eyes emoji of course she did.
Mariah sent me the list of ingredients for the chicken parmesan bake. It’s cubed chicken breasts, sautéed with garlic and butter, penne pasta, heavy cream, and a ton of Parmesan cheese.
It sounds perfect. It actually doesn’t require much time in the oven. Just enough to melt and brown the cheese on top. Still, it will be delicious and will smell great when Scarlett gets home from work.
More, it will hopefully cheer Mariah up and give us a chance to talk.
Today at school was another shit show.
This time I got to witness it.
Leah had approached Mariah in the lunchroom. Yes, I had lunch duty on my second day.
There was a new podcast this morning and Mariah, Scarlett, Ruby, Henry, and I had already checked it out. We weren’t going to get caught unaware again.
This time, Lindsey and Jen talked about the fact that my grandfather wants all of us married.
Thankfully, it didn’t mention that he was arranging our marriages. There also wasn’t discussion about the poker game or Alfred. They made it sound as if my grandfather really just wanted us all married and happy.
There was no hint that Abigail and Torin were married for reasons anything other than true love. They didn’t say a thing about Linnea being the assumed queen since she was four years old, or the fact that she had been engaged to Declan, then Torin, then kind-of me for about two minutes. There also wasn’t a single mention of Astrid.
Still, Leah had felt the need to bring up to Mariah that it seems Cian… I —yes, this is all very weird—am spending time with this mystery woman with the assumption that she will soon be a princess.
While all of that was true, Leah is also under the assumption—rightly so, to be fair—that this woman is not Scarlett.
Again, proof in her mind that Mariah has been lying about my previous relationship with Scarlett.
They actually got into a shouting match across the lunchroom.
Mariah had insisted that Cian— I— proposed to Scarlett. Leah had tossed back that clearly he has moved on if that ever was the case. Mariah insisted I—Cian—is in love with Scarlett. Leah refused to accept that for obvious reasons. Mariah told Leah that she has no idea what she’s talking about, and Leah laughed.
Mariah had stomped out of the lunchroom without eating her lunch.
I had found myself literally fighting to keep from crossing the room and doing whatever I could to cut Leah Lawton down to size.
Of course there were two problems with that. One, that would mean exposing myself, and I couldn’t do that without talking to Scarlett about a plan for what would happen when everyone found out the truth.
Two, and probably more importantly, a grown man didn’t do that to a teenage girl.
Mariah steps into the kitchen as I’ve finished dicing the chicken.
“This is as far as I’ve gotten,” I tell her.
She swings her backpack off her shoulder and onto one of the kitchen chairs. She looks over everything I have laid out on the counter. “That’s a pretty good start,” she tells me.
Okay, we’re speaking. That’s a good first step. I wouldn’t blame her if she was angry with me. All of this is really my fault. I’m not sorry that I came to Emerald and I’m not sorry for respecting Scarlett’s boundaries when she said she didn’t want anyone to know I am here for her. But my spontaneous decision to go undercover has created a much bigger issue that I definitely did not think through.
Mariah goes to the sink and washes her hands. She reaches for a towel and is drying them when she says, “My mom thinks that you should just live your life and be a good example of what you want people to think of you. But you shouldn’t have to tell people who you are and what you believe in. People should just know by how you act and the things you do.” She hangs the towel up and turns. “Mom says that words can be weapons and that we should be careful with them. That we should judge people by what they do, not what they say.” Mariah braces her hands on the edge of the sink and leans back. She studies the floor instead of looking at me.
I stay quiet, grateful that she’s opening up and honestly, not totally sure what to say anyway. But I put down the utensils and turn to face her, giving her my full attention.
“I think about that with my grandfather,” she goes on. “He tells the kids at church that he wants me to come to youth group and to services, he says he wants me to be closer to God, but he doesn’t do anything to get me there himself.” She scuffs the floor with the toe of her shoe. “I used to think that sending the kids after me was him doing something but…it’s not. That’s easy. He can send them and then blame them when it doesn’t work.” She takes a breath. “My mom used to talk to Brian about stuff. But anytime she wanted to talk about God or the church, Brian made her do stuff at the same time.”
“Yeah, she told me,” I say. “She said that’s how she learned to fix cars.”
Mariah nods her head. “Yeah, but other stuff too. He told her he listened better if he was doing something while he was talking. So sometimes it was fixing someone’s screen door or taking them groceries. Things like that. He’d always make her go along. And if she wasn’t giving him a “lesson”, he’d sometimes call and tell her he wanted to talk about something.” Mariah smiles. “She told me that in the end, those actions always made a bigger impression on her than my grandpa’s words on Sundays. She would hear him preaching from the pulpit about taking care of our neighbors or welcoming strangers, and she’d think about Brian.”
I wait a couple of beats. “Did you know Brian very well?”
She lifts her shoulders. “Kind of. We spent holidays here sometimes. But I know most of the things about him from her stories.” Her smile gets a little sad. “She doesn’t really have stories about my grandpa. Which tells you a lot right?”
I nod. “Right.”
“What about your grandpa?” she asks, pushing away from the sink and crossing to the counter. She grabs the pot and takes it to the stove where she starts the butter heating.
“What do you want to know?”
“Well, he’s a king. Literally runs a country. He probably does a lot of stuff. But he also talks a lot. Which do you think is more important?”
I carry the jar of minced garlic over to her, and she adds it to the butter, stirring them together. I turn back to the counter and start chopping the onion. “That’s a good question,” I finally say. “I guess there’s a lot of both with my grandfather. The doing directly impacts people’s lives. But I know people also look to him to explain things, to reassure them, to inspire them. I guess at different times, they’re both important. If the words are sincere. And I think you’re right that words and actions need to match up.”
I bring the onions to her. “I can tell you about my brother, the one who’s going to be king. He talked a lot about how he didn’t believe in a monarchy and thought we should be a representative government, but then he also did something about it. He abdicated and left home. I went with him. And not so much because of his words, but because of the action. Because I figured if he believed in it that much, it must really matter.”
Mariah dumps the onions into the sizzling butter and garlic.
“There is a time for words though,” she says. “Even though with Leah, I know I shouldn’t, sometimes I just want to yell. I just want to say I’m right . You don’t know everything .”
We add the chicken to the pot as well and she continues to stir.
“I agree,” I say. “My sister is a good example of that. She does a lot. She shows up, rescues animals, actually puts her hands into work. She’ll go without sleep, she’ll drive hundreds of miles, she’ll do whatever it takes. So those actions matter. And if she tries to talk to the people who are illegally smuggling animals or abusing them, it doesn’t make a lot of difference. People like that don’t care.
“But there are times when she has to speak out. To law enforcement, to people she needs to donate to her cause, to potential volunteers when she needs extra hands, and definitely to lawmakers. She’s had to appear in front of state and federal government committees to try to get laws in place or strengthened. She’d really love to take them all with her on the rescues so they can see it up close and personal, but she has to rely on her words with them.”
We’re both quiet as the meat continues to brown. Mariah adds the cream and then the cheese. Finally, we add the pasta and cover it to let the pasta cook.
She takes a breath. “Yeah, I guess with Leah I just need to figure out what to do and what to say. And when.”
“Mariah.” I wait till she looks up at me. “Sometimes, with some people, it’s not you who has to do the doing or the saying. Sometimes you need other people to do it for you. And that’s okay. I promise you, there will be a time when Leah will know that you were right. About all of it, all along.”
I have to give this to her. Mariah is an amazing person. And she’s lying because Scarlett and I put her in this position. That’s not fair. We have to make this right for her.
I’ve never felt this protective of anyone other than probably Saoirse. But it’s different even with her. She has always had a lot of people looking out for her. There have always been endless resources to take care of her. I’ve never really worried that much about her.
Mariah has had two fierce women looking out for her, but she deserves to have more. She deserves to have an entire team at her back. An entire community surrounding her.
“What’s going to happen if they find out who you really are?” she asks.
“We’ll deal with it. We’ll face it,” I tell her. “We’ll tell the truth, say we’re sorry for lying, but we had good reasons. And,” I add. “It won’t change the truth. You are right. Your mom is the woman I love, the woman I’ve searched for. And I did propose to her.”
Mariah sighs. “God, I can’t wait to see Leah’s face when she has to call me Princess Mariah.” She laughs. “I know I shouldn’t care about that but…that will be really fun.”
I smile, but don’t say anything to that as she removes the pot from the heat, pours the mixture into a casserole dish, tops it with more cheese and then slides it under the broiler.
But the truth is, I can’t wait for that either and I think a tiara is going to look really great on this girl’s head.