34. Cian
Chapter 34
Cian
W e’ve been in Cara for nearly two hours by the time everyone has arrived, settled in their rooms, and had a chance to see my grandmother. The king is sleeping, and the doctor asks us not to go in to see him. At the moment he is stable, however.
We’re now all finally gathered in the most comfortable sitting room where there is enough space for all of us. It is a less formal room where the family never entertains, yet the high, arched ceilings, ornate trim, polished floor with the expensive rug, and the antique furnishings still scream Royal Palace!
Additional couches and chairs have been brought in by staff, a long table is laid out with food and drink, and everyone is trying their best to relax and just chat.
But we were all just here together a little less than two weeks ago for a truly joyous occasion and the difference between that and this is stark.
I’m trying to eat, though I don’t feel hungry, and I’m watching Torin across the room. My brother looks haggard. I’m sure the last several hours have been a lot for him. He will be the new king much sooner than he expected and that’s hitting him on top of the emotions around possibly losing our grandfather.
Of course, we all hope Torin’s coronation will occur because Diarmuid steps down to take better care of his health rather than because Cara must have a new king, but none of us can shake that real possibility. I’m sure Torin is no exception.
I watch as Abi comes to his side and Torin wraps his arm around her, almost seeming relieved. His expression relaxes and he leans into her. She says something softly for his ears only, and he even manages a smile before pressing a kiss to her temple.
My heart aches watching them. I am so damned happy my brother has her. And it makes me miss Scarlett with an intensity that surprises me.
“Hey.”
I look to my right and give Astrid a smile. I knew she and her family would be here. Linnea and Jonah arrived about an hour before we did. Astrid and her brother, Alex, were already here as well.
“Hey, how are you?” I ask.
We both stand looking at the room full of family.
“Um…okay,” she says. “How about you? I’m so sorry about Diarmuid.”
I nod. Astrid and her family are close enough to mine that I’m sure this feels almost like her own grandfather had a heart attack. That’s how we all felt when Alfred got sick at the end and when he passed. “Me too. I…don’t know why, but I didn’t expect this.”
She smiles sadly. “Me either. I think it’s because he’s larger-than-life. I know he’s had three other heart attacks, but they were like nothing happened. He was up and around practically the next day. I can’t imagine anything short of a bolt of lightning from Heaven itself could actually take him down.”
I laugh softly. “I think that’s exactly it.”
Astrid turns to face me. “So, have you had a chance to think about anything else? Like maybe you’ve come up with a plan?” she asks. “I’m worried about the king, of course. But I’ll be honest. I’m freaking out.”
I shake my head. “A plan?” But a trickle of trepidation snakes down my spine. “For what?”
“They haven’t talked to you?”
“Who?”
“Your grandmother. Or mine.”
“I’ve talked to both of them,” I say. “But only about my trip to get here and my grandfather’s health.”
“Great,” she says. “So they’re hoping to not give us enough warning.”
“Warning for wh?—”
Just then, my grandmother moves to the center of the room. She holds up her hands and the room quiets. “Everyone, it’s been such a long day,” she says. “I’m so very happy to have you all here. Thank you so much for rushing to be with us. There is one thing I want to make you aware of tonight so that you can prepare for tomorrow.”
I tense. Is there something going on with my grandfather that we need to prepare for? Has he taken a bad turn?
“While Diarmuid continues to improve, we feel it is very important to ensure that he has joy and hope all around. We want to give him everything to live for. To fight for.” She turns to Astrid and me. “We will hold the wedding tomorrow morning.”
I just stand there for a long moment. I stare at my grandmother. Then I hear Astrid mutter, “Told you we need a plan.”
I glance down at her. She tosses back the rest of the drink in the glass she’s holding. She doesn’t seem shocked. Apparently, this is what they talked to her about earlier.
I look back to my grandmother. “My wedding to Astrid?”
“Of course, dear,” my grandmother says. “It will be smaller than anticipated, but still lovely. The important thing is that it will make your grandfather happy.”
I am, of course, all for making my grandfather happy right now.
But I’m in love with another woman. I can’t marry Astrid.
“There is a problem—” I start.
My grandmother gives me a look that instantly reminds me that she is Queen.
“I expect that the ‘problem’ will be taken care of by tomorrow morning at ten a.m. when the ceremony begins.”
“That’s not enough time,” I protest. We need to at least stall until we can think of something better. “Astrid needs a dress. We’ll need to announce it so people can get here.”
My grandmother waves her hand. “Don’t be silly. This is an emergency. Astrid has several lovely dresses and looks like a vision in anything.”
Well, hell, how can I argue with that? Say it’s not true? Sure, that’s the princely thing to do.
I glance at Astrid. She just rolls her eyes.
“And,” my grandmother continues as she gestures around the room, indicating all of our family members. “The most important people are already here.”
Of course she’s right. Dammit.
“But shouldn’t we be focusing on Grandfather?” I take a step toward her, my tone sounding as desperate as I feel. “How will it look for us to be planning a wedding, a party and frivolity, while he’s struggling?”
My grandmother frowns at me and I’m very glad Cara doesn’t behead people who annoy the monarchs.
Though, there’s a very quick and easy process to rewrite the rules around here.
“ This will help him,” she says firmly. She points a finger at me. “You will be standing before your grandfather, the king , tomorrow morning at ten a.m. Sharp.”
“Fuck,” I mutter as she turns and sweeps from the room.
“We definitely needed a plan,” Astrid says.
“I’m not doing this,” I tell Henry as I shrug into my suit jacket at nine fifty a.m. the next morning. “Do you have the plane ready?”
We’re not doing the full wedding dress and tux thing. The ceremony will be family only in my grandfather's quarters.
“I do not,” Henry says. “The pilots all tell me they are under strict orders from the queen to not transport anyone anywhere without her permission.”
Of course they are.
“A hide out somewhere on the island then?”
“Not that either,” he says.
He waits until I turn, then says. “Marry her, make Diarmuid happy today. Torin will take the throne, then grant your annulment.”
“What the fuck am I supposed to tell Scarlett?”
“That she should’ve accepted your proposal when you first asked?”
I glare at him. “Is that supposed to be funny?”
“Was she going to marry you?” he asks. “You left in a rush, it was a few days before your big talk was scheduled, but do you think she was going to say yes?” He steps forward. “Because that’s what this was all about. You wanted to find her before you made any commitment to Astrid. You found her.”
“And we fell in love,” I tell him
“She said that?”
“No. Not the words. Not yet.” I feel my chest tighten. I didn’t want to rush her, so I didn’t say the words either. Not directly. Not specifically. But I should have. Dammit. And I really fucking want to hear those words from her. “But it was happening,” I tell Henry. I believe that. I trust that Scarlett loves me. And I know Henry can see the sincerity in my eyes.
He blows out a breath. Then nods. “Then call this off. Tell Astrid you can’t do this. Tell your grandmother. Tell your grandfather.”
I need to. I do. I need to show my family who I am. I need to let them know the real me. “ Fuck, ” I groan. “This could kill him , Henry.”
They told us this morning that my grandfather slept through the night and his vital signs are stable. The doctor thinks that he should be wide awake and able to participate in the wedding ceremony. But he has the king resting, with no visitors allowed, until then. Even if I was willing to risk his heart giving out with my news, I couldn’t get in there to tell him before the ceremony with our entire family around anyway.
“Do you want to marry Scarlett?” Henry asks.
“Yes. She’s it. She’s the one I want to spend my life with. It can’t be anyone else.”
Henry gives me a single nod. “Okay, then.”
“What does that mean? Okay then?”
“It means that my entire job is to keep you safe and happy. And I’m pretty fucking good at it. I don’t expect that to stop today.” He returns and stalks out of my room.
I have no idea what that means.
So I put my tie on and go downstairs.
Everyone is gathered in the sitting room outside of my grandfather’s bedroom. In any normal household, that room would not be big enough to hold a wedding. But this is a palace, and he’s a king.
He’s propped up in one of the armchairs.
I stop inside the door as soon as my eyes fall on him.
He’s pale. And he looks so small.
My grandfather is actually a big man. Tall, broad, and more, he has a presence that fills an entire room. He has a deep, commanding voice. And he is very used to having all of the attention on him.
I’ve always perceived him to be a giant.
Seeing him sitting, surrounded by pillows and wrapped in a blanket, his skin pale and his face drawn, I have to swallow hard before I continue into the room.
I cross to his chair and bow. “Grandfather.”
He smiles. “Cian, my boy.”
I lean over and press a kiss against his cheek. It’s very cool. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to be seen. Especially on this day. Thank you.”
My chest tightens and my heart squeezes. Fuck. He really wants this.
He wants his family united with Alfred’s. That is actually not hard for me to understand. Alfred was like a brother to him. Like Henry is to me. I understand, especially now that Alfred is gone, Diarmuid’s desire to keep Alfred alive and with him in whatever way he can.
I glance behind me and see Astrid standing near the windows.
She looks beautiful. Of course she does.
She’s wonderful. We could do this. We could make both of our families incredibly happy, grant my grandfather’s final wish, have a good life together.
But I just can’t.
As long as Scarlett Gale is in this world, I cannot even pretend to give my heart to someone else.
“Grandfather, there’s something I need to say to you,” I tell him, turning back.
“What is it?” he asks, looking concerned.
“I am so sorry. But it’s time that I tell you, all of you, my family, the people I love and trust the most, who I really am.”
My grandfather nods. “Of course. We love you and we’re so proud of you.”
I feel my heart kick hard at those words. God, I love them. I want to make these people proud. “Grandfather, I want to be Cian O’Grady to the world. Torin, Fiona, and Declan’s brother. Diarmuid and Roisin’s grandson. I want everyone to know who we are. We have all been too quiet—in the US and on this tiny unknown island—for too long. And I want to be a part of making the O’Grady name known and esteemed.”
He gives me a heartfelt smile. “I know you do. You are doing that, Cian. There are so many great things ahead.”
My heart feels like it expands in my chest.
“And Astrid will do so much as a part of that. As an O’Grady,” the king adds.
Yes. She would. “I agree,” I tell him. “But I love someone else. I want someone else to be my partner in all of the things ahead of me. Someone who makes me a better man, who makes me believe I can do more, who supports and loves me and wants to see me do great things.”
Diarmuid frowns. “I see. And who is this?”
Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder, pulling me back. I turn and find Henry standing there.
“Your Majesty,” he says with a bow. “Forgive me.”
“Wha—” Diarmuid starts.
But then Henry pulls me in and presses his mouth to mine.
Multiple gasps are heard all around.
I hear my grandfather say, “I see.”
Then my grandmother’s voice says, “I always suspected.”
I’m almost too distracted by Henry still kissing me to hear the next voice from beside him that says, “Oh for fuck’s sake”.
Henry is pulled away a second later and that same voice says, “This is really not necessary.”
Henry swipes his thumb over his lips, scowling at the man who interrupted. “Dammit, you don’t understand.”
“I understand perfectly. And how is you marrying him, or whatever this is, solving anything?”
I blink at the man, then say, “ Declan ?”
As usual, my brother is in a dark, expensive, custom-tailored suit that looks like he was born in it. I have never seen him fidget with a cuff link or mess with his tie as if it’s too tight. He seems as at ease in suits as I am in sweatpants. Declan is taller than me by about two inches. He’s got darker eyes than the rest of us. Torin, Fiona, and I all have blue whereas Declan’s are a deep brown. But he has the same thick, dark hair and is also sporting a short-cropped beard. He has also got his usual broody expression on that Fiona calls his resting asshole face.
“It was stopping this wedding,” Henry says. “That was the main objective.”
“You could have just kidnapped him. Knocked him out and tied him up in a closet,” my oldest brother tells Henry.
“I was going to marry him. That would keep him from being available to marry Astrid,” Henry insists.
“That’s ridiculous,” Declan says. “We would still have the same situation.”
I blink at my brother. I haven’t seen him in five years. He hasn’t been back to Cara in seventeen. When he left home, abdicating the throne, he fucking meant it .
But he’s here now. Standing right in front of all of us.
Standing in front of our grandfather.
“Well, Cian wouldn’t be a part of the situation,” Henry says.
“Declan,” my grandfather’s weak, hoarse voice makes us all turn.
“Your Majesty.”
To my shock, my brother bows to my grandfather. “I’m glad you’re alright.”
The king gives him a single nod. “You… came.”
My grandfather seems as stunned as the rest of us. And King Diarmuid is almost never stunned.
“Of course. I wanted to check on you. And—” Declan looks around the room. “I have a problem to solve.”
His gaze stops on Astrid.
My eyes widen and I look at Henry. He seems just as out of the loop as I feel.
I look at everyone else. All of my siblings and their significant others are here. My mother and grandmother are seated on one of the settees. The only person in the room who doesn’t seem completely shocked to see Declan is Iris Lee, his assistant and bodyguard, who is standing just inside the door. She obviously came with him. And she looks…resigned.
Declan starts across the room toward Astrid.
What the hell? I follow him.
Everyone in the room has, of course, been watching Declan, the prodigal son, so they all move closer to him and Astrid as well.
Except, I notice, for my grandmother. She goes to my grandfather and takes a seat in the chair next to him. She takes his hand and leans in, blocking his view of Declan and Astrid by the windows.
I frown and turn back to my brother and my sort-of fiancée.
Astrid looks surprised when Declan stops right in front of her.
“Cian won’t be marrying you today,” Declan tells her.
Astrid smiles brightly. “Okay.” She picks up the skirt of her dress and starts for the door.
“Astrid.”
She stops and looks back at Declan. “What?”
“You and I will marry.”