Chapter 9 Moses
MOSES
Christmas lights from the tree lit up the living room.
The red, green, and gold colors flashed across Trent’s cheesy grin as he played with his gifts.
Torn wrapping paper was still all over the carpet.
Trent was in his own world as he slid his new race cars across the floor while making engine noises.
Every now and then, he’d glance up at me and grin like he’d just won the lottery.
That smile killed me and healed me at the same time.
But even in that moment, the guilt was eating at me.
Watching him play and feeling Kahlani on the couch beside me, I couldn’t shake it.
The guilt that came from knowing she’d taken that charge for me was making it hard to enjoy the holiday, despite the gifts Kahlani and Trent had given me.
I felt like I was carrying a brick around in my heart.
I wrapped my arm tighter around her shoulders, pulling her in even closer. She leaned into me automatically, like her body was molded to fit mine.
She knew me too well. She tilted her eyes up toward mine, and before I could even open my mouth, she was already shaking her head.
“Moses, don’t even start,” she said, but with a smile. “You better not apologize again.”
All I could do was lower my head with a guilty chuckle.
“I mean it,” she continued, resting her hand on my chest. “What’s done is done. I made my choice. We’re not going to keep going in circles about it.”
Her devotion hit me harder than any bullet ever could. She’d risked her freedom and future for me just so I wouldn’t lose mine. I kissed her forehead, lingering there for a moment, breathing her in.
“I promise you. I’mma do everything I have to do to get you out of this. Whatever it takes, I’mma make it right.”
She sat up straighter, pulling back just enough to look me in the face. Her brown, fierce eyes locked onto mine. “No. I don’t want you to do anything crazy. I don’t want anything to happen to you. I can’t do this alone, Moses. And you already owe Carlos. You don’t need to add more to your plate.”
I knew she was right. She didn’t want me to make things worse.
But inside, I felt desperate. As much as I wanted to respect her wishes, I was willing to do whatever it took to be the man she deserved, to give her the life she dreamed about, the security she needed, and the future I’d promised her since the day she put Trent in my arms.
I looked over at my son, laughing as he crashed his toy cars together. He didn’t know all that I had done to make sure he and his mother had a merry Christmas. All he knew was that Santa had come through, and his parents were right there watching him play.
That innocence was my motivation.
My chin rested on her hair. “I got us,” I whispered, more to myself than her. “No matter what it takes.”
She sighed against me, like she was scared of what that meant. Her fingers curled into my hoodie, holding on to me the same way I held on to her.
I swore to myself that I’d move heaven and earth, risk it all if I had to, to protect them and give them the life they deserved.
Even if it killed me.