Kahlani
I sat across from my new lawyer, Sam, who I’d hired with Rah’s money. I was twisting my hands nervously in my lap while he flipped through my paperwork.
“Look,” he said finally, meeting my eyes. “You don’t need to panic. With your clean record, the most you’re looking at is probation.”
I blinked at him, scared to feel relief. “Probation? You’re sure?”
He nodded with a reassuring smile. “I’ve already spoken with the prosecutor. We’ve got it lined up. They’re not pushing for anything beyond that.”
I blew a relieved breath. “So, I won’t have to go to jail?”
“Not with what I’ve worked out.” Then he asked, “Are you sure you want to do this, Kahlani? We can fight this.”
Standing up from the table at the lawyer’s office, I knew that I was sure. I adjusted the blouse that I’d worn to the meeting and took my coat off of the back of my chair. “If you’re sure I’ll get probation, then I’m sure. I don’t want to take the risk.”
Sam looked disappointed, as if he could see that I was giving up. Yet, he smiled and nodded as if he respected my decision.
I told him that I would see him at court in a few weeks and hurried out of the office.
During my meeting, Moses’ mother had called and said that Moses was awake!
He was groggy, but he asked for me, so I was in a hurry to get back there.
I slipped on my leather coat and hurried out of the office building.
For the first time in days, I was truly happy. I felt like things were finally getting back to normal. Life wasn’t at all perfect. Nevertheless, I had a lot of hope that everything was going to work out.
I practically ran towards my car that was parked half a block down the street.
Once inside of the car I called Solae back as I started the engine. She had called me at least a dozen times while I was in the meeting. She had also sent me a text message asking that I call her back as soon as possible.
I wasn’t even paying attention when Solae answered. I cut her off with excitement as I whizzed through the traffic downtown. “Hey, Solae. I already know. I’m on my way to the hospital now.”
It was like she didn’t even hear me. She sounded so out of it as she spoke to me. “Can you come by my house?”
“When? I need to get to the hospital right now. What’s wrong?”
“Please, Kahlani? It’s really important.”
When I heard the tears, I knew that Rah had done something. I shook my head in irritation and disappointment. I was so sick of Rah and his bullshit. I couldn’t understand why he just wouldn’t leave that girl alone and let her live.
“Alright,” I reluctantly told her. I didn’t want to go, but she sounded like she really needed me. “I’m on my way.”
She hung up without another word.
“This nigga irks my soul,” I muttered through gritted teeth as I tossed the phone onto the passenger’s seat.
I drove towards the expressway like a mad woman, with hate for Rah fueling my lead foot.
Rah was like a thorn in my side. He was negatively affecting everyone’s life around him.
He was even affecting mine, and he wasn’t even my man.
He was like a virus; slowly eating away at our with his inability to give a fuck about anybody else besides himself.
I thought that Solae was finally done with him after this last major stunt that he pulled, but apparently not.
About fifteen minutes later, I arrived at Solae and Rah’s house, while being completely disgusted that, once again, my life was consumed by Rah or something to do with him. I needed to be at the hospital, not at their house consoling Solae after whatever stunt he pulled this time.
This better be real important, I thought as I rang the bell.
I repeatedly moved my legs back and forth and stuffed my hands in my pockets to cope with the cold.
It was the beginning of winter, but it was already cold as hell in Chicago.
January was only two days away. That’s when the real arctic air was going to blow through the city.
As I waited for Solae to come to the door, I thought about New Year’s Eve being the next day.
Memories of all that I had been through came to mind, especially the events of the last few weeks.
The memories were eerie, but I was happy to start this New Year with hopes of a much better tomorrow.
All of those hopes were lost when Solae finally answered the door looking like a walking car accident. Her blonde bang was all over the place and hanging in her face. Her eyes were bloodshot red as they rained tears.
When I realized that the stains on her shirt were blood, I lost it. “Solae! Oh my God! Are you okay?!”
In response, she turned away from the door and began to mope as she walked away. I hurriedly followed her inside, closed the door, and followed closely behind her with a million questions. “What happened?! Did Rah hit you?! What the hell is going on?!”
“He had the nerve to blame me for what happened to Essence!” She fussed in anger while making long, fast strides down the hall.
I was on her heels. I was damn near chasing her, confused as she rambled on and on and walked briskly through the house.
“He didn’t care! I told him what happened to Essence, and he still didn’t care!”
“Didn’t care about what, Solae?”
She didn’t even hear me. “I told him how much I wanted that baby. He just laughed. He dismissed my hurt like it didn’t mean anything.
He told me that I was overreacting. He said that this was my fault.
He told me that if I was the ride or die bitch for my man that I was supposed to be, this wouldn’t have happened to Essence. ”
As we entered the kitchen, I still didn’t know what was going on. Yet it was obvious that Rah had finally gone too far. The look in Solae’s eyes was angrier than I had ever seen before.
She was possessed with fury.
Solae was still rambling on and crying, nervously running her fingers through her hair.
She sounded like a crazy person. “And do you know what he had the nerve to say?” Her face lost all sanity as she recalled it in her mind. “He said that if Essence wasn’t such a hoe like her mother, maybe this wouldn’t have happened to her.”
I cringed. Rah’s words even hurt my feelings as I leaned against the island in the kitchen. “Solae—”
I stopped mid-sentence when my eyes fell upon the scene on the floor near the back door.
I gasped so loud that it bounced off of the walls. “Solae! What did you do?!”
Rah was lying on the floor in a pool of blood.
He was on his stomach. It was obvious that he was dead.
I was shocked by the sight of his body and the blood all over the walls.
I then looked into Solae’s eyes, which showed no remorse; only fear of what would now happen to her because of what she had done.
I stood frozen in place, gaping at Rah’s lifeless body with my mouth ajar in pure shock. “How long has he been lying there?”
Solae shrugged her shoulders with weary eyes. She looked just as young and naive as Essence did. “I don’t know. Thirty minutes maybe.”
When she saw that I had the same fear, she began to justify what she had done through panicked screams. “He ruined my baby! He ruined me, Kahlani! And he didn’t even care. He didn’t even care!!”
I threw my arms around her. I could imagine Rah’s blood seeping into the fabric of my jacket as it pressed against Solae’s shirt. As I held her, she rocked back and forth in agony.
“I … I didn’t mean to. I just got so mad. I was so mad…” Her words trailed off in wails of sorrow and fear.
Suddenly, she released me and reached for the cell phone that sat on the counter.
“What are you doing?”
When she answered, “Calling 9–1–1,” I instinctively rushed towards her and snatched the cell phone away.
“No,” I told her. “Don’t call the police.”
It just didn’t seem right to call them. I imagined them showing up at this scene and hauling her away in handcuffs. I wasn’t about to allow Solae to ruin her life and lose her kids over Rah.
“I have to call the police, Kahlani. He’s dead.”
Even though she knew that it was the right thing to do, she looked so scared for what would happen to her when she did call them.
When I imagined her being handcuffed and hauled away, it just didn’t feel fair.
She didn’t deserve it. Seeing Rah’s body bleeding out and lifeless, that felt fair.
Rah had taken every opportunity to ruin her life.
She had fought him tooth and nail not to allow him too.
Yet, he insisted on fucking with her because she had sense enough to leave him.
Even in death, he was threatening to ruin her life.
“Let’s just take care of it,” I told her as I took off my coat.
She looked at me like I was crazy. “Take care of it? What do you mean?”
“We can dump his body somewhere. Let the police find him.” Though I sounded crazy even to myself as I said it, it sounded way better than calling the police.
“Shit, they would think anything could have happened to him. But you should not have to spend the rest of your life in jail for this nigga. Do you want to lose your kids?”
I was so sincere that my eyes began to tear up, pleading with her.
Solae couldn’t answer me. Her eyes looked frantics. They darted back and forth from me, to Rah, and to the cell phone. She was sweating profusely. She kept opening her mouth, but nothing would come out.
So, I answered for her. “Where is the bleach?”
For a few seconds, Solae just stood there.
She was confused and lost. I let her stand there as I took off my shoes and socks and threw them into the hallway.
I rolled up my jeans. Then I left her standing there as I started to run hot water in the sink and began to search the cabinets for cleaning products.
It was outlandish but letting Rah continue to fuck up her life was even more outlandish.
He was an asshole that intentionally fucked up everything in his path.
She’d given herself loyally to him, and he rewarded her with hate.
He didn’t have any remorse, not even for his children.
My own household had suffered because Moses was loyal to this nigga.
Rah had used everyone’s loyalty around him and selfishly never returned it.
He deserved what Solae had done to him.
As Solae finally appeared next to me, wearing a pair of plastic gloves and handing me a bottle of bleach, I knew that she felt the same.