Chapter Moses
MOSES
Muffled bass, chants, and that restless chaos of thousands of people waiting seeped through the dressing room walls of the arena.
I sat on the couch in front of the mirror with my elbows on my knees and heart beating uncontrollably. Tonight was my second time opening for Zay Savage for a sold-out crowd under arena lights.
Every time I thought about it, it still gave me an adrenaline rush that felt unreal.
The same dude that used to record tracks in Rah’s basement with a mic we stole, was opening up for one of the biggest trap stars in the world.
Now I had a tour schedule, interviews, stylists, dancers, and a team.
My blue check was official. “Songs of Moses” was charting locally.
My second single, “Trap Psalms”, had become a hit.
Some blogger online had called my music “street gospel.” They said my voice sounded like the south side was confessing through me. I didn’t know if I believed all that, but it felt good to be heard.
Every time I hit a stage, or did an interview, or saw a fan damn near in tears just to meet me, I’d get that same thought: This can’t be real.
Eli popped his head in through the door. “Moses, you’re on in five minutes.”
“Okay. Give me one minute.”
“One minute,” he repeated before closing the door again.
Now that the stylist, makeup girl, and assistants were all gone, I leaned back on the couch, letting my head rest against the cushion, and closed my eyes.
Every show, I said the same quick prayer. I thanked God for bringing me this far, for giving me words that reached people, and for letting me live long enough to see this version of myself. I asked Him to keep me grounded and to let me move the crowd but never lose my soul in it.
Money was coming in faster than I ever imagined. In a matter of months, I’d touched more than I used to dream about. Whatever I wanted, I could buy three of them. Whatever Kahlani or Trent needed, they got it. Kahlani had a maid. Trent had a nanny.
And still, a part of me never stopped waiting for it all to be snatched away. A nigga like me, from where I’m from, doesn’t win without consequences. I knew that. So, every blessing came with a little fear attached.
The door opened again.
“Hey, babe!” Kahlani rushed in, interrupting my prayer.
She looked so good. It wasn’t because of the Moschino dress that she was wearing, either.
It wasn’t the diamonds that she was draped in, nor was it the expensive make up that the artist had applied on the private jet.
And it had nothing to do with the expensive hair she’d gotten installed.
She looked so good because of the happiness that was all over her.
“You made it,” I said, standing to meet her halfway.
She exhaled. “Barely.”
Kissing her, I asked, “Where is Solae?”
“I told her that you wanted her to come, but of course she wasn’t about to leave her kids and Priest so soon.”
I nodded, with my arms still around her waist. “Understandable.”
“But she said she will be at a show as soon as she gets comfortable being back at home.”
“Bet. How is she doing?”
“Good.” Kahlani smiled. “She looks great and is happy to be home. And she’s pregnant!”
My eyes bucked with a smile. “Word?”
Just then, the door swung open again. Eli leaned in. “It’s time.”
I looked at him and nodded. “I’m ready.”
I took Kahlani’s hand and followed Eli down the long hallway toward the stage.
The closer we got, the louder it got. My name was echoing from the crowd. Thousands of voices chanted it, calling for me.
I had already said a prayer, but hearing my name on the lips of thousands of people, I had to stop and thank God that I had finally made it. After all of the pain, hurt, and mistakes, my girl was still by my side, and my dreams had finally come true.
The lights felt brighter when I stepped back out for the encore.
The crowd was going wild with their phones in the air. Flashes were everywhere, and they were still chanting my name.
“Aye, y’all mind if I do something real quick?” I asked into the mic.
The crowd roared.
I took a breath, feeling my heartbeat pounding harder than the bass. “There’s somebody in this arena tonight who’s been with me since I didn’t have anything. Before y’all even knew my name. Every word I ever rapped, she saw it before anybody else did.”
The crowd started screaming already because they knew exactly who I was talking about.
“Kahlani, come out here, baby.”
The arena erupted.
When she stepped out from the wings, the lights washed over her. The crowd lost their minds. They knew her just as well as they knew me. We’d become that couple. Blogs loved to post about us when we were out and about.
She walked toward me slowly, nervous but smiling. I grinned so hard my face hurt and reached for her hand when she got close enough.
“C’mere,” I said into the mic, guiding her to the center of the stage.
The spotlight followed us. She looked around, overwhelmed, and I could see her chest rising fast. Then she turned and saw the big screen behind us light up with pictures and videos of our first vacation, me holding Trent on my shoulders, her smiling in my hoodie on the couch in our first crib, clips of me in the studio and her asleep on the couch in the corner.
The crowd went quiet for a second, just watching, soaking it in.
Then the stagehands rushed out, carrying a floral arch of white roses and baby’s breath arranged in a circle. Across the top, in gold letters, it read: Will you marry me?
The noise that came out of that crowd damn near shook the roof.
Kahlani froze. Then her hands flew to her mouth, her eyes went wide, and she started trembling.
I dropped to one knee, and the crowd screamed louder.
I felt myself shaking, even though I’d rehearsed this in my head a hundred times.
“You’ve been my day one since before the world even cared who Moses was.
You saw me before the lights, money, and before my name meant anything.
When I didn’t believe in me, you did. When I didn’t know how to pray for myself, you was already praying for me. ”
She covered her mouth as tears spilled down her face, and the sight of her damn near undid me.
“You walked with me through hell and never let go of my hand. You gave me a reason to grow up, to fight for something real. You’re not just my love; you’re my calm, my mirror, my muse. The best parts of me got your fingerprints all over ’em.”
I pulled the ring from my pocket I’d been carrying for weeks. The crowd screamed, but all I could see was her.
“I’ve been through pain, betrayal, and loss,” I continued, trying to keep my emotions controlled.
“But God gave me one thing that made it all make sense…you and Trent. You all aren’t just my family; you’re my whole damn purpose.
You’re my favorite song, baby. So, right here, in front of everybody, I just need to know… Baby, will you marry me?”
She nodded frantically, while sobbing and hyperventilating.
“Yes!” she finally managed over the screams from the crowd.
I stood, slid the ring on her finger, and she threw her arms around my neck. The lights burst brighter, confetti fell, fireworks went off around the stage, and when our lips met, the arena exploded.
Putting the mic to my mouth, I asked the crowd, “Y’all didn’t think I was gonna end it there, right?”
The crowd roared again. I turned to Kahlani, still holding her hand. “This one’s for you, bae.”
The deejay started playing the slow, soulful melody of something I’d been working on for weeks in secret. It was a song I’d written for Kahlani, “Forever Don’t Scare Me.”
[Verse 1] You don’t compete with me, you complete me, that’s the flex.
Your love the kind that God himself protects.
Ain’t no game, ain’t no test, this a legacy we buildin’,
Every time I see you smile, it’s a prayer that got fulfilled again.
We ain’t goals, we real life with grace in it,
God’s fingerprint got your name laced in it.
[Hook] If forever mean ridin’ with you,
Then forever don’t scare me.
If I lose it all, long as you here,
Forever don’t scare me.
You the prayer I ain’t know I prayed,
The reason my demons fade.
Yeah, forever don’t scare me,
’Cause forever got your face.