Chapter 1.9 #2
Lizzy and Jane agreed that Mrs Bennet should only hear of the departure of the family without being alarmed with the news of their uncertain return.
But even this partial communication gave their mother a great deal of concern, and she bewailed it as being exceedingly unlucky that the ladies should happen to go away just as they were all becoming so intimate.
After lamenting it, however, at some length, she had the consolation of thinking that Mr Bingley would soon come down again and bring Mr Darcy with him to dine at Longbourn The conclusion of all was the comfortable declaration that, though the gentlemen had been invited only to a family dinner, she would take care to have two full courses.
Mr Bennet treated the matter quite differently upon hearing the news. Calmly, he expressed regret that he could not have the pleasure of intelligent male conversation at dinner soon and his hope that the business that caused Darcy’s departure was not of too serious a nature.
Over the next few days, Charlotte Lucas called again with a new invitation for Mr Collins, showing an amiable attention to the gentleman to the relief of all his cousins.
But Charlotte’s kindness extended farther than Elizabeth had any notion of; its object was nothing else than to secure Mr Collins’s addresses for herself.
Such was Miss Lucas’s scheme, and appearances were so favourable that, when they parted after the second time Mr Collins dined at Lucas Lodge, she felt sure of her success.
Indeed, his new-found passion led him to escape Longbourn House the next morning and hasten to Lucas Lodge to throw himself at her feet.
His reception was of the most flattering kind, and in a short time, everything was settled between him and Miss Lucas to the satisfaction of both.
Sir William and Lady Lucas were speedily applied to for their consent, and it was bestowed with a most joyful alacrity.
Charlotte resolved to give the information personally to Elizabeth.
She valued her friendship beyond that of any other person and knew Elizabeth probably would not understand her decision.
Therefore, on the following morning, Miss Lucas called soon after breakfast and, in a private conference with Elizabeth, related the events of the day before.
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For Elizabeth at the age of twenty, the days following Miss Bingley’s letter were the most difficult and painful she could remember.
She had not slept more than a few hours each night as Mr Darcy’s spectre appeared every time she closed her eyes.
Her dreams brought the exquisite and painful feeling of his touch, his lips, his scent, his voice and the intense, dark stare that made her dizzy and sent shivers through her body.
After reading Miss Bingley’s letter repeatedly, Elizabeth found that, instead of answers, there were thousands of questions spinning in her head.
What possibly could have happened? She perfectly remembered every word between herself and Mr Darcy from the first day in the cottage until their separation after the ball.
She spent hours contemplating what could have made him change his mind so drastically as to forget proper manners—not paying even a short, polite, last call to the family or leaving a departure note for Mr Bennet.
Each recollection of her family’s impropriety in Mr Darcy’s company and every reproach she directed towards him brought memories of his previous contempt, causing her more grief as she came to accept that there were indeed plausible reasons for him to reconsider his intentions towards her once the excitement of the ball had passed.
She was fighting both the regret of what she had lost and the vexation caused by his furtive departure, leaving her in a state of depression beyond anything she had known before.
A gentleman who had respect for a lady would never act in such a despicable manner. He would at least announce his change of plans. But he was probably anxious to put as much distance as he could between himself and Hertfordshire.
She did miss him deeply; never could she have imagined that love and longing for a man could be so fierce or that a heart could truly be broken.
For indeed, now, when all her love must have been in vain, she understood and accepted with her eyes and her soul weeping, that the feelings that burdened her must have been love.
She dreamed, her eyes open, of his taking her hand again and whispering into her ear.
She could smell his scent and feel his nearness…
and all she could do was cry in frustration.
Though she had not shed tears since she was a child, she felt a need to do so at that moment.
She felt desperately alone as she had no one in whom to confide, not wanting to add grief to Jane’s suffering or bring additional worry to her family.
She came to desire as much as Jane did for Mr Bingley’s return, with or without his friend.
She needed to understand what had happened to Mr Darcy, and if she could not get the answer from the man himself, she could accede to hearing it from his friend.
Elizabeth was in such a poor state of mind and heart that, when Charlotte came to share the news of her engagement to Mr Collins, Elizabeth’s reaction was not what it should have been.
“Engaged to Mr Collins! My dear Charlotte, impossible!”
The prospect of Mr Collins’s fancying himself in love with her friend had occurred to Elizabeth within the last few days, but that Charlotte would encourage him was unthinkable, and her astonishment was consequently such as to overcome the bounds of decorum.
Elizabeth quickly recollected herself and was able to assure her friend with tolerable honesty that the prospect of their relationship was highly beneficial and that she wished her all imaginable happiness.
She had always felt that Charlotte’s opinion of matrimony was unlike her own.
She could not have supposed it possible that, when called into action, she would have sacrificed every sincere feeling for worldly advantage.
Charlotte as the wife of Mr Collins was a most humiliating picture!
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Elizabeth’s disappointment in Charlotte made her turn with fonder regard to her sister, of whose rectitude and delicacy she was sure her opinion could never be shaken.
Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley had now been gone for a week, and nothing was heard of their return; Jane had sent Miss Bingley an early answer and was counting the days until she might reasonably hope to hear from her again.
Day after day passed with no other tidings of the gentlemen than the report, which shortly prevailed in Meryton, of Mr Bingley’s coming no more to Netherfield the whole of that winter.
Almost three weeks after her first, Miss Bingley’s second letter arrived and put an end to any lingering doubt.
The first sentence conveyed her assurance of their being settled in London for the winter and concluded with her brother’s regret at not having had time to pay his respects to his friends in Hertfordshire before he left the country.
Hope was entirely over, and when Jane could attend to the rest of the letter, she found little except the professed affection of the writer that could give her any comfort.
Praise of Miss Darcy’s occupied the chief of it.
Her many attractions were again dwelt upon, and Caroline boasted joyfully of their increasing intimacy, venturing to predict the accomplishment of the wishes she had unfolded in her former letter.
A day passed before the sisters had the courage to speak to each other of their feelings, and each heart was divided between concern for the other sister and her own grief.
Of course, Mrs Bennet and everyone in town were sensible of Jane’s anxiety and could presume how painful it must have been for her.
But things were quite different in Elizabeth’s case.
Except for Jane and Mr Bennet—if he decided to give the thought any consideration—no one suspected Elizabeth’s misery and suffering.
If at the ball everybody could see Mr Darcy’s partiality for her, it was such a brief encounter that it was forgotten at once.
No one found it strange that Mr Darcy had left with his friend, for no one could imagine any reason for Mr Darcy to remain in the neighbourhood.
A preference shown at a ball for a young lady would mean little to a man of his consequence and position in society.
Moreover, should the gentleman have had an inclination towards her, Miss Elizabeth Bennet’s open dislike for Mr Darcy was publicly acknowledged for many weeks before the ball, so a change of heart was unlikely; consequently, her feelings on the subject were not considered.
Mr Wickham was never again a guest at Longbourn nor did he encounter Elizabeth after the ball. Lydia and Kitty met him occasionally in Meryton and brought reports of him back to Longbourn.
Shortly after Mr Darcy left the neighbourhood, Mr Wickham’s misfortunes were openly acknowledged and publicly canvassed, and Mr Darcy was condemned as the worst of men.
Moreover, a rumour began to circulate that Mr Darcy was rejected in his attention by Miss Elizabeth for his repulsive behaviour towards her favourite, Mr Wickham.
Meryton was divided into two camps: one applauded Elizabeth’s courage in rejecting such an important man despite his fortune and position in society, and the second considered her quite a fool for not taking the opportunity to increase her family’s situation substantially.
Shortly, these rumours came to Mrs Bennet’s ears.
While Jane used her steady mildness to bear these attacks with tolerable tranquillity, Elizabeth did not. Her passionate nature and sense of guilt intensified her grief more than she could have imagined.