Chapter 1.21 #4
As soon as the door closed, Lady Matlock sat on the bed, her back against the pillow and her legs stretched out in front of her; she invited Elizabeth to do the same. When they were sitting on either side of Georgiana, she gently put her arm around her niece’s shoulder and started to speak.
“Georgiana, did you understand the meaning of what Catherine said about your parents? About your father imposing himself on your mother?” The girl nodded, mortified, her face completely white.
“Good. Because I want to talk to you as I would talk to another woman, not to my young niece.” Lady Matlock’s voice was full of emotion, a slight tremor changing her usual tone. Her effort was obvious.
“Anne was my dearest friend; you must know that. And the most important thing I can tell you about her was that her life was full of love and happiness. Love for William, for you, and for your father. She loved all of you with a full heart until the last moment of her life. She told me that her only regret was that she had no more time to love you a little longer. She called you her treasure and her joy. As for your father…I have no words to tell you how much he loved Anne. Do not let anybody even suggest that your father might have done something against your mother’s will.
He would rather have died than hurt her!
He tried everything humanly possible to save her, and I can certainly say that he gladly would have given his life to save hers.
But it was not meant to be. Nothing could help her. She simply died, slowly…”
“But, Aunt, she became ill after I was born. Aunt Catherine said it was well known that she could not survive giving birth to another child. She should not have had me…”
“Oh dear, Catherine knows nothing and speaks only nonsense. She and Anne never confided in each other. And nobody could say for certain that having you aggravated her state. She died more than a year later.”
“Perhaps, Aunt, but…if not for me, she would have lived longer. If she had taken better care of herself…if father had taken better care of her…”
“My dearest, I want to confide something very important, something that will help you have a better understanding of the situation. Before having my sons, I was with child twice. Each time, I carried the child until the end, and each time I gave birth to a girl, but both my daughters were born dead. And each time I was close to death myself. The doctors warned me that I must protect myself from having another child because my life would have been in great danger, but I did not listen. Moreover, I concealed the gravity of my condition from Lord Matlock. I loved my husband with all my heart, and I wanted to have a child born from our love. I never considered that wish could cost me my life. God has been good to me, and He made a miracle—two miracles. Now, thirty years later, I am healthy, and I pride myself on my two sons. Every danger I put myself in was nothing compared to the happiness I shared with my husband all these years.”
She stopped and kissed her niece’s forehead.
“As for your mother, dearest, she never was of a strong constitution although she was full of life. Her laugh was the most beautiful laugh I have ever known. Maybe, instead of thinking that Anne died because of your birth, you should think that your birth was a gift from God, a miracle the Lord sent to her before taking her to Him. And that must be the case, because you look so much like her. I cannot tell you with certainty whether her health would have changed if you had not been born. But I can tell you that your mother would have been less happy without you—as would we all.”
Georgiana put her arms around her aunt, leaning her head on her shoulder. On her other side, Elizabeth had long since ceased fighting her tears, pleased that at least Georgiana could not see her. Suddenly, she felt the girl’s hand squeezing hers as Georgiana pleaded with her aunt.
“Would you please tell us more about Mother? Elizabeth does not know anything about her, and I can never hear enough.”
“Of course, dear. I, too, cannot speak enough about her.”
∞∞∞
An hour later, Georgiana fell asleep, a peaceful, deep sleep, her face brightened by a smile that followed her into her dreams.
Lady Matlock returned to her house, drained and exhausted by the emotions she had endured. Once in her bed, she cried for a long time. She could not sleep until her husband came to her, worried and pained by her grief, and she finally found some rest in his arms.
Although Georgiana’s state seemed to be improved, Elizabeth did not leave her side. Her thoughts were with her own parents, of the joy and happiness of her life, of her mother…
Sleep surrounded her after midnight as she sat in the chair, her head resting against Georgiana’s.
She did not speak with Darcy again, but she dreamed of him—of how he came to her, wrapped her in his arms, kissed her face, and carried her away. The dream was so vivid that she inhaled his scent and heard his heartbeat.
Only when she felt a cool, soft sheet and the warmth of his arms releasing her, did she wake. She opened her eyes slowly and saw his dark gaze, inches away, resting on her.