Chapter 1.28
The journey back to Hertfordshire was the most pleasant trip Charles Bingley had ever made—at least that was what he declared to his companions a few minutes before Mr Darcy’s carriage stopped in front of the Bennet residence.
While Jane could do nothing but blush and nod silently, Elizabeth and Mr Darcy heartily and loudly approved of his amiable behaviour.
Early that morning, Mr Darcy had arrived in Gracechurch Street to join the family for breakfast and to collect his intended and his soon-to-be sister.
He had informed them that Charles Bingley, Miss Bingley, and Mr and Mrs Hurst were awaiting them at the Bingley house.
Though she tried to hide it, Jane’s face betrayed her disappointment, as she was obviously hoping to have that gentleman’s company before their departure.
Their engagement was still secret as they had not yet secured Mr Bennet’s consent, though it was apparently not quite so ‘secret’ since, besides Elizabeth and Mr Darcy, the Gardiners and Georgiana were informed, and Lady Matlock had mentioned more than once that “something seemed different in Miss Bennet’s countenance. ”
However, Jane’s disappointment did not last long.
When Mr Darcy’s spacious carriage arrived in front of Bingley’s house and Miss Bingley and the Hursts were finally ready and gathered in their own carriage, Mr Bingley closed the carriage door, wished them a pleasant trip, and turned to enter Mr Darcy’s carriage instead, leaving his sister in utter surprise.
He took his place beside Mr Darcy, facing Miss Bennet, and breathed deeply.
“Well, good morning everyone! Though it is very cold indeed, I dare say this will be a fine day for a journey, don’t you think?”
Jane brightened instantly, and a smile spread over her face as she agreed with him wholeheartedly.
As for Elizabeth, she cast an intense glance of gratitude towards her betrothed, who was undoubtedly responsible for such satisfactory though perhaps not entirely proper arrangements.
However, considering that she would be married very soon to Mr Darcy and that Mr Bingley intended to ask for Mr Bennet’s consent the moment they arrived at Longbourn, she was certain that her parents would not be displeased with their travel arrangements.
The party stopped only once at an inn for some hot tea as the weather was cold indeed and the carriage did not offer enough warmth.
However, their carriage was considerably more pleasant than the other, as Caroline Bingley’s disposition was insufferable even for her sister.
Consequently, the short rest was welcomed by Mrs Hurst, and she even managed to have a polite conversation with the Bennet sisters while Mr Hurst chose liquor rather than tea to warm himself.
When they re-entered the carriage, a change occurred.
Without hesitation, Mr Darcy sat next to Elizabeth, and Mr Bingley got what he had not dared to ask for—the place beside Jane.
While Elizabeth seemed quite content with the new arrangements, Jane could not control her rapid heartbeat and constant blushes.
She wanted Mr Bingley to be close to her, but feeling his closeness and the slight touches of their bodies as the carriage swayed embarrassed her greatly.
She could not tell whether she wanted the journey to end as soon as possible or last forever.
As the weather worsened and the horses moved at a slower pace, Elizabeth began to complain of being cold though both she and Jane were wrapped in blankets.
Mesmerised, Jane watched Mr Darcy take off Elizabeth’s gloves and hold her hands in his, stroking them gently to warm them while his arm encircled her shoulders, pulling her closer to him until the blanket covered them both.
Her sister accepted his attentions with a smile and leaned her head against his shoulder, oblivious to the presence of the others in the carriage.
Though Jane knew that such an intimate display was highly improper, she could see nothing wanting in Mr Darcy’s tender concern; quite the contrary—her heart melted at such a proof of affection towards her sister from a gentleman whom so many had considered proud and unpleasant.
To her shock, for the first time in her life, she envied her sister.
The envy was full of affection and tenderness, but envy it was, nevertheless.
To conceal her embarrassment, Jane began a conversation about the differences in weather between Hertfordshire and London, and another half an hour passed pleasantly until the other three noticed with surprise that Elizabeth had fallen asleep.
Her head was nestled against Mr Darcy’s chest, her hands in his, her cheeks red with the warmth that enveloped her.
They smiled to each other in understanding and stopped talking loudly so that Elizabeth could continue her nap.
It did not take long for Mr Darcy to follow Elizabeth’s example, and Jane found herself practically alone with Mr Bingley. She dared to meet his eyes only for a moment and smiled shyly at him. She then turned her attention to the window, wrapping the blanket around herself.
“Miss Bennet…Jane…are you cold? May I offer you my coat? That blanket seems to be as thin as your pelisse. You must be chilled.” Mr Bingley’s voice was more of a whisper in order not to disturb their companions, and he leaned closer to her so she could hear him—so close that she could feel his warm breath on her ear.
She turned her head to whisper back, their faces almost touching.
“I thank you, sir; you are too kind, but I could not possibly take your coat. You would freeze without it.”
“You must not think of me. I shall be fine. Please take my coat.”
“Sir, I would not feel comfortable knowing you are risking your health.” He looked at her, and then a sudden smile lightened his face, and his breath warmed her ear once more.
“You are right, of course. I could not risk becoming ill before I have the opportunity to speak to your father. We must find a way not to endanger either of our health.”
Earnestly, his eyes not leaving her blue, wondering gaze, he unbuttoned his coat, opened it, and then daringly pulled the blanket from around her.
She stared at him, her surprise turning to worry.
He resumed his place, leaning closer to her so that he could cover her back with the free part of his coat; then his arm wrapped around her shoulders and he adjusted the blanket to cover them both.
Before she realised what was happening, Jane found herself enveloped in his arms, her hands resting defensively between their chests, not daring to breathe as every breath made her body move and rub against his.
She remained still, desperately trying to decide what she should do until his whisper made her shiver again.
“Are you comfortable enough? You will be warm very soon, I assure you.”
“Sir, it is not about whether we are comfortable or not. We…we cannot stay like this. My sister and Mr Darcy will awaken soon.”
“Yes, they probably will.” Meaningfully, he directed his gaze towards the other pair and then back to her again. She blushed, understanding his reason and searched for an explanation.
“It is not the same thing. We are not… They are engaged.”
Jane was struggling between the desire to remain in his embrace and the necessity of doing what propriety required.
She was amazed that Mr Bingley, until that point unwilling to do anything against her will, seemed determined not to release the grip of his arms around her.
“And we are not engaged, Jane? It is true I do not have your father’s consent, but do you think he will refuse me? ”
“No, of course not…but…they are to be married soon.”
She hoped her last argument would convince him, but while his countenance became more serious, his hold remained the same. “I am more than willing to marry you whenever you want, Jane. I could want nothing more than to elope and marry you tomorrow.”
Her eyes opened even wider, trying to see whether he was speaking in jest, but even with her lack of experience, she could see that the intensity of his gaze confirmed his passionate words.
“Jane…I shall let you go, of course, if that is what you desire. I do not want to do anything against your will. But I beg you, do not tell me I am not allowed to express my care and my love for you in the same manner that Mr Darcy does with Elizabeth. Unless you do not wish me to…”
The expression in his eyes and the tone of his whispered voice changed in a moment, and she was taken by surprise when she finally felt his arms loosen around her, allowing her to make the decision.
It was easy for her to see in his eyes his uncertainties, hopes, and desires.
He was waiting, and for Jane in that moment, the struggle was over.
Her cheeks red, she nestled her head against his neck, still shaking her head in disapproval for what she was doing, but her soul was bursting with happiness as she realised she had no reason to envy her sister’s felicity.
“I shall die of shame when I face Mr Darcy. And I shall die of shame when I meet you again tomorrow, Charles. This is the most improper thing I have ever done.”
He breathed deeply, his heart beating quickly again as joy overtook him and his lips lightly touched her silky, blonde hair.
“That is not quite true, Miss Bennet. The most improper thing was to be alone with me in Mr Darcy’s library and allow me to kiss you the way I did.”
He could feel her holding her breath, as still as a statue in his arms, and he continued, as his free hand searched for hers. “And Jane—that was the happiest moment of my life.”
He felt her moving and saw her face lifted to his as she whispered, “Still—I shall die of shame tomorrow.”