Chapter 1 #11
Marco appears from his room. "Rava, will you help me in the kitchen, please? I've never been a barista in my life, and I need to make eight drinks and one cup of milk at the same time."
"Of course, I'm coming," Rava says. "Give me five minutes to wake up."
"Where's Blu?" I ask.
"Noah took him out with Valentina," Marco says. "I told them to bring back pastries if they find anything. Lorenzo ate everything last night."
Of course he did. I grab Rava's head gently like he's a toy and kiss the top of it, then push him toward the bathroom.
Half an hour later
We're finally all gathered around the tree. There are three space heaters pointed straight at us like they're on duty, so we don't die of hypothermia.
Blu is wrapped in a tiny blanket, and Lulu is sitting right on top of him like a queen on her throne. He's obsessed with her. It's embarrassing.
Marco is sitting between Noah's legs on the floor.
Daisy's on the couch, and Lorenzo's sitting on the floor in front of her while she plays with his hair. Valentina's on the floor too, arguing with Jin about whether her nails are ugly or not.
Rava's right next to me, Antonio curled up in his lap, the three of us under the same blanket.
"Alright," Lorenzo shouts, putting his mug down. "All the gifts are here. We're doing this in the order you're sitting. So first one opening a present is Rava. He also has to guess who it's from."
"Perfect," Rava says. "Let's go. I'm excited."
Antonio is already checked out, rolling his little cars around his knees. Honestly, good. I'm terrified of what's under this tree. Lorenzo grabs a gift bag covered in hand-drawn hearts and hands it to Rava.
Rava smiles and opens it. He looks inside.
Immediately closes it again and just loses it. He covers his mouth, laughing so hard no sound comes out. We all start laughing just watching him.
"What? SHOW us," I say, already grinning. The poor man is red, like actually red. He opens the bag again, reaches in, and pulls out... A ridiculous amount of underwear sets.
All of them printed with my face. I turn away, trying not to laugh. Okay, WHO thought of this. And how the fuck did I not think of it first.
Rava looks around at everyone, still dying. "I feel like this is something Lorenzo would do," he says. "Not this time, my guy," Lorenzo smirks.
Marco slowly raises his hand. "You know what? At least he's actually gonna use this! And Gio's face will be exactly where it belongs 24/7."
"Very accurate, Marco," Rava adds. "Thank you so much."
I nod. "Yeah, thank you, Marco. You're real for this."
"Gio, your turn," Lorenzo says.
I'm terrified. Like genuinely. There is zero chance this bag has chocolate in it. I grab it, open the top, and see something wrapped inside.
It's heavy. Too heavy. "What the hell did you people get me," I mutter.
I rip the wrapping off, take one look, and drop my head.
"You motherfuckers," I say. "Who got me a huge-ass dildo?"
Jin screams, laughing.
"WHAT?!" Noah yells, almost louder than Jin. Rava, still laughing, gently turns Antonio the other way so he's not facing the crime scene.
I pull out this massive, shiny, pink, heavy dildo and wave it in the air like a sword at all of them. "Who the fuck?" I say, laughing so hard my stomach hurts.
"Can I see?" Valentina asks and she takes it before I even answer. "Holy shit, this thing is detailed. It looks like a real dick."
"How do you KNOW?!" Marco yells.
"Oh, be for real, Marco, I'm not fifteen."
"Oh my God," Marco groans.
"Do you like my gift, dadd—" Lorenzo starts. I don't even let him finish. I stand up and CHARGE with the dildo in my hand, ready to smack him with it.
"HELP, HE'S THREATENING ME WITH A DILDO!" Lorenzo screams, running around the tree. Jin has his phone out, recording the whole fucking thing. Lorenzo finally dives behind the couch to hide, and I go back to my spot, still holding the damn dildo.
I look at it for a second. Then at him. "Thank you, Lorenzo," I say. "I'll make sure it's... appreciated."
"Perfect, next. Jin, you're up," Lorenzo says. "Oh Christ, here we go," I mumble. Jin gets up like a grandpa whose back just gave out and grabs his gift bag.
He opens it, pulls out a T-shirt, takes one look, and drops it on the floor. "I LOVE IT," he says.
"What is it?" Rava asks. Jin stands up, holds the shirt proudly against his chest. It says: World's Tallest Lesbian.
I lose it.
"I KNEW it," Marco says. "I had a feeling you're a lesbian. Just so you know, it shows."
"Bro, don't laugh," Jin says dead serious. "I'm wearing this to uni. This is peak. I feel extremely lesbian right now."
"Gio, my boy, was it you?" he asks.
I shake my head. Daisy elbows him and does a little wave with her hand.
He points at her. "Die," he tells her.
"I love you too," she smiles.
"Next up, Noah," Lorenzo announces.
"FINALLY," Noah says. "Let's see what my bitches got me." He grabs his bag. Lifts it. "The fuck? Why is this heavy? Is it like... two dildos this time?"
I bite my lip so I don't start laughing too hard again. He rips the paper, looks inside. His eyes go huge. "YOU'RE SHITTING ME."
His jaw is literally on the floor. I hide my face in my hand so he doesn't see me smiling. He pulls it out. The shiny, rhinestone-covered tequila bottle. My masterpiece.
"WHAT THE FUCK," he says. "This is literally ART, what the hell??" Lorenzo stares at it like it's dessert behind glass. Noah turns it in his hands, the light catching every little crystal.
"You're telling me someone here actually sat down and glued all of these on one by one??" he says.
"Rava, only you would have the patience for that."
"Fuck off," I snap immediately, laughing. "It wasn't him." Noah whips his head toward me. "IT WAS YOU?"
I nod, trying to look annoyed but I'm actually stupidly happy. He jumps up and pulls me into a hug, squeezing me so hard I almost drop the dildo still in my hand. I rub his back. "Easy, old man."
"This is insane," he says. "I'm putting this in my studio. On display. Where I can see it every day. Nobody touches it. It's sacred."
"I'm glad you like it," I say.
"Anyway. Next, Marco."
"Finally," Marco grins.
Lorenzo hands him his bag and Marco takes it with his tongue poking out like a five-year-old concentrating. He pulls out a box. Stares at it like an old man reading a contract. Then slowly turns it so we can see.
"Are those... handcuffs made of candy!?!?!?"
"If you don't want them, I can take them," I say immediately. He jerks them away. "NO. Are you insane? This is perfect."
He starts opening the box. "Whose brain is this dirty during Christmas?" he asks, laughing. "Have you seen a single normal gift so far?" Daisy says. "We're all the same shit. Perverts."
Jin raises a hand. "The idea was mine, Marco. Just in case Noah gets hungry while he's on top—"
I smack him in the face with a pillow before he finishes. "What? It's not like we don't KNOW," he protests.
"True," Noah shrugs. "The boy has a point. Good job, Jin." He stands and they high-five.
"Alright. Daisy's turn," Lorenzo says. "I hope you all showed mercy," she laughs, opening her bag. "I'll appreciate it no mat—"
She stops. Looks up slowly. Completely serious.
"No."
"What is it?" we all ask, suddenly quiet.
She pulls out two boxes of blue hair dye. Lorenzo slaps a hand over his mouth. Jin's eyes go HUGE. "Oh my God," he whispers. "I'm getting war flashbacks. Not again."
"Aww, you had blue hair when I first met you," Lorenzo says. "Yes," Daisy answers, pissed and already side-eyeing Rava. Rava is laughing and burying himself deeper under our blanket.
Daisy throws a pillow at him and he keeps laughing. "What?" he says. "Be honest, it suited you! I miss the little Smurf with the noodle blue hair."
"I agree," Jin says. "It wasn't that bad."
"You don't get to talk," Daisy snaps at him. Marco nudges her gently. "I kinda wanna see it," he says with a smile.
Daisy stares ahead like she's questioning every life decision. Valentina leans toward her. "Blue is nice. I can see it on you. Go for it, girl."
Daisy exhales, then laughs. "I'll flip a coin."
"Valentina, your turn. Second to last," Lorenzo says. He hands her the bag. She shakes it. It sounds like little pieces rattling. "What is it?" she asks.
"Open it and find out, genius," Marco says.
"Shut up." She opens it. She screams. I swear I've never seen her this excited. She pulls out a LEGO box, a whole flower shop set. "WHAT! Guys, I'm gonna cry. You got me LEGO, I can't believe it."
"IT WAS ME," Noah yells. "I'm probably the only one who didn't get a dirty present... oops. Sorry, girl."
"Are you insane? This is perfect," she says. "I love you, Noah. You're my favorite. You're helping me build it later."
"I get that honor?" Noah asks dramatically.
She nods. "Yes."
"Can I help too?" Marco asks.
"No."
"Perfect," Marco says, not even offended.
"And finally," Rava says, "we have... Lorenzo." I genuinely can't wait to see what disaster he got. Lorenzo spots a wrapped box with slightly murdered wrapping paper.
"That one's for me?" he asks. We all nod.
"Who else would it be for, idiot? You're the only one left," Noah says.
"Don't talk to me like that or I'll use Gio's dildo on you," Lorenzo answers.
"...Was that a threat?" Noah asks.
"Yes," Lorenzo says simply, and starts tearing at the already-torn wrapping paper. He freezes. Grabs his head. "A BABY."
"A baby WHAT?!" Jin demands.
"A BABY HAMSTER."
Rava immediately gets up. "Oh, Antonio, come see!" They both rush over to the box to see this tiny, confused hamster just sitting there like, why am I here.
"I'm calling him Bartolomeo," Lorenzo declares. I burst out laughing. "Dude, that might be one of the worst names I've ever heard."
"My hamsters have unique names," he says. "Shut up and accept it. Go get your own and name it whatever you want." He carefully picks the hamster up in his hands. "I want Bartolomeo," he whispers.
"Can I hold him?" Noah asks. "No," Lorenzo says. "You wait. We're bonding. He has to know I'm his father, not you."
He looks at Valentina.
"Valentina, thank you SO much. You're incredible and I will remember you forever."
"You'll remember me because I got you a hamster?" she asks. "Yes."
"Okay," she says, smiling. The living room is covered in wrapping paper now. But I'm not gonna lie, this was the best Secret Santa I've ever done.
And I've only done it... twice?!
18) Christmas Trip Pt. 7
Rava
Gio walks in first, completely swallowed by layers of clothes. Marco is right behind him, with Antonio. They all look like three walking piles of laundry. It's ridiculous. I love them.
Antonio's hiding something in his hands. "Come on, let's go give Dada his gift," Gio says, nudging him toward me. Antonio giggles and stumbles over, cheeks all red from the cold. He holds something out to me with his tiny hands.
It's a little... snowman.
One eye, crooked smile, lumpy body. And I'm two seconds away from crying. "Aw, baby, is this for me?" I ask. Antonio nods hard. "Daddy and Maco and I made it."
I take the snowman very carefully and head to the kitchen, walking slowly so I don't flood the living room. I set it down on the counter.
"It's amazing," I say. "I'm shocked." I look down at him. "See? Snow isn't that scary after all, huh?" He giggles and nods, stuffed into his jacket like a marshmallow.
Marco unwraps his scarf and drops it next to me, exhaling.
"Your son... I don't know where the hell he finds this much energy," he says.
"And stamina. Bro, the second I showed him how to make one snowman, he made like twelve after that.
Same thing again and again. And he laughed every time like it was the first snowman in history.
It was so cute I got cuteness aggression. "
I laugh and reach up to grab mugs so I can start hot chocolate. Gio comes over and starts taking pictures of the snowman right next to Antonio, all proud and obsessed.
"Marco, please take one of the three of us," Gio says. "This is legendary."
Gio scoops Antonio up and sets him on his hip. I hand Antonio the snowman again, making sure he's holding it steady, then slide in close, wrapping my arms around Gio's waist.
I press my head to the side, against Antonio's little shoulder. I'm smiling so hard my face almost hurts. Gio squishes Antonio's cheeks together, and Antonio squeals laughing. Marco is going insane with my phone, taking like eight hundred photos from every possible angle.
"It's insane, I'm jealous," Marco mutters.
Then he flips the camera, steps into frame himself, and I burst out laughing. "Sorry, I needed proof that I was the amazing photographer behind this," he says. "Write me down as tree guy in the family history."
"Of course," Gio tells Marco.
I look at him properly this time. He's shaking. It throws me off. I glance at Marco to see if he notices too.
"Um... are you okay?" I ask Gio.
He nods. "I'm fine, I just—I'm freezing. We were outside."
"I was outside too, baby, but I'm not that cold. This place is boiling with Lorenzo's heaters," Marco adds.
I reach up and touch Gio's forehead.