Chapter 2 #2
I grab the cup and hand it back up to Maddy. She grins like she just discovered a new game.
Johnny leans forward again.
“Is there gonna be a lot of people?”
“Probably,” I say.
“How many?”
“Enough to make this house very loud.”
Johnny grins like that’s the best news he’s heard all morning. Kelly slides plates onto the table a few minutes later—scrambled eggs, toast, and fruit. Johnny digs in immediately like he hasn’t eaten in three days.
The twins… attempt to eat. Madison manages to get a spoonful of eggs into her mouth. Then immediately spits half of it back out onto her tray. Maddy grabs a fistful and throws it on the floor.
Kelly sighs.
“I just cleaned that floor last night.”
“It’s not cleaned anymore,” I say.
Johnny watches the twins for a second.
“They’re messy.”
“They’re not the only ones,” Kelly replies.
Madison drops a piece of egg onto the floor and Johnny points at it.
“See?”
Kelly laughs.
“We’re going to need a mop before noon.”
Johnny takes another bite of toast before looking back up at me.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think Uncle Justice will bring balloons shaped like motorcycles?”
I consider that.
“With Justice involved? Probably.”
Johnny grins.
“This is gonna be the best birthday ever.”
Across the table Madison suddenly flings a piece of scrambled egg. It lands squarely on my shoulder. Johnny bursts into laughter.
Kelly covers her mouth trying not to laugh.
I look at the tiny piece of egg sitting on my shirt. Then at Madison. She stares back at me with the most innocent face imaginable.
“Already starting trouble,” I mutter.
Johnny wipes tears from his eyes.
“Dad just got egged!”
Kelly shakes her head with a soft laugh, grabbing a dishcloth from the counter and wiping Madison’s sticky fingers while Maddy continues smearing eggs across her tray like she’s creating modern art.
“Alright,” Kelly says, trying—and failing—to sound stern through her smile. “Johnny, go wash up. You’ve got egg on your face and syrup on your hands.”
Johnny immediately slides out of his chair like he’s been launched from it.
“But I didn’t even—”
Kelly raises an eyebrow. Johnny stops mid-protest and glances down at his hands.
Sticky. Very sticky.
“…Okay.”
He bolts toward the hallway bathroom like a rocket, his bare feet slapping loudly against the hardwood floor. I chuckle and lean back in my chair, watching him disappear.
Kelly glances over at me while wiping down the twins’ trays.
“Can you take the girls upstairs and get them cleaned up?” she asks. “I’ll clean the kitchen again before it turns into a health hazard.”
I look around at the battlefield that used to be breakfast. Eggs on the floor. Milk on the tray. One suspicious smear of banana on the wall.
“…Fair enough,” I mutter.
I stand up and scoop Madison from her high chair first. She immediately grabs my beard again like she’s checking to make sure it’s still attached.
“Kid’s got a death grip,” I grumble.
Kelly laughs while lifting Maddy.
“She gets that from you.”
“Not funny.”
The twins giggle as if they understand the insult. I take Maddy from Kelly and tuck one girl under each arm like a pair of very loud footballs.
“Alright,” I say. “Let’s get you two cleaned up before the Reapers see what kind of animals we’re raising.”
Both girls squeal like they approve of this plan.
Upstairs, the nursery is already glowing with soft morning light spilling through the curtains. The changing table waits in the corner like it knows what kind of chaos is about to happen.
I set Madison down first. Then Maddy beside her. Both of them immediately start kicking their legs and laughing like they’re about to get away with something.
“Yeah, yeah,” I mutter, grabbing the wipes. “Let’s get this over with.”
I change Madison first. No problems. No explosions. No surprises. Which should have been my first clue something was coming. Once she’s clean, I place the container of baby powders down on the table beside Madison. Then I turn to grab a fresh diaper for Maddy.
Big mistake.
I turn my back for two seconds to grab another diaper from the drawer. Two seconds. That’s all it takes.
Behind me I hear a soft giggle. Then another. I pause and slowly turn around. Madison is holding the baby powder. And I left it open when I set it down. White powder is everywhere.
It’s all over the changing table, floor, and Maddy and Madison’s covered in it. Maddy is sitting beside her clapping her hands in absolute delight while powder floats through the air like some kind of baby-sized snowstorm.
“Oh hell no,” I mutter.
Madison looks at me. Grins. And shakes the bottle. More powder explodes into the air.
“Madison,” I say carefully, reaching toward her. “Give that to me.”
She giggles and holds it tighter. For someone who weighs maybe twenty pounds soaking wet, her grip is ridiculously strong.
“Come on,” I mutter, trying to pry it loose. “Hand it over.”
She shakes it again. Now the table looks like someone detonated a bag of flour. I finally manage to grab the bottle and give it a quick tug. That’s when she lets go.
Suddenly. All at once. The bottle pops free and launches straight towards me. The powder explodes everywhere.
My shirt. My arms. My face. A cloud of white dust fills the entire nursery. I freeze. Covered. Completely.
Madison and Maddy stare at me for a second. Then they both burst into uncontrollable baby laughter.
“Son of a—” I start, coughing as powder drifts into my mouth. “Damn it!”
Downstairs I hear Kelly’s voice.
“Mason?”
I wipe powder from my eyes.
“Everything’s fine!” I shout.
Madison squeals again and smacks the table with both hands. Another puff of powder floats into the air.
Kelly’s footsteps start coming up the stairs.
“Mason…?”
She pushes the nursery door open. And stops. Right in the doorway. Her eyes take in the scene.
The twins laughing and covered in powders. The changing table coated in white. And me… Standing there looking like I just survived a small explosion.
For a second she just stares. Then she clamps a hand over her mouth. And loses it. Full-blown laughter. The kind where she has to lean against the doorframe to stay standing.
“Oh my God,” she wheezes between laughs. “Mason, what happened to you?”
I gesture toward Madison.
“Your daughter happened.”
Kelly wipes tears from her eyes while trying to stop laughing.
“You look like you wrestled a bag of flour and lost.”
Maddy claps her hands proudly like she agrees with that assessment. Madison reaches forward and pats the powder on my shirt, sending another puff into the air.
Kelly laughs harder.
“Well,” she says between breaths, “at least the girls are clean.”
I stare at her. Then at the twins. Then at the powder covering literally everything.
“Yeah,” I mutter. “Clean.”
Behind Kelly, Johnny suddenly appears in the hallway. He takes one look into the room and gasps.
“DAD!”
I sigh.
“What.”
Johnny points at me like he’s witnessing the funniest thing he’s ever seen.
“You all look like a powdered donut!”
Kelly completely loses it again. And the twins just sit there giggling like they’ve just committed the greatest crime in baby history.