Chapter 26
Cordelia rose from her bed, having slept in a fresh gown after being practically forced to bathe by Anna and Mrs. Wright. She sat on the edge of her bed, her mind instantly turning to Tim. Was he well? And what time was it?
When a cry burst forth, she jumped out of bed and grabbed the bedpost to steady herself.
She had rushed too quickly and sat back down again, feeling dizzy.
She looked at the tray of tea Anna had brought for her, hardly touched, but she had at least gotten some of it down before falling into a deep sleep.
At least the sleep had done a little to take the edge off her fatigue and worry, but she still felt an ache in her belly and in her chest. Tim was ill, and there was nothing she could do about it but wait.
Olivia too could succumb to the illness, and then she could perhaps lose both of them.
That prospect horrified her beyond words.
Helen and David trusted us with the children. We must keep them safe. They cannot leave me. They cannot leave us.
She took a slow breath, thinking of how warm and safe she’d felt in Nicholas’s arms, even when he continued to be the most confusing and insufferable man ever. He would show his heart one moment and then take it away the next! Could she truly trust him?
Deep down, she knew that she could, that he was a good man despite all his attempts to make her believe otherwise.
He must simply learn to trust himself, and I cannot do that for him.
She rose, feeling better now, and she walked to the door, confused when she could hear her mother’s voice as she went up the stairs towards the nursery.
“Ah, my dear! You should still be abed, you know,” Fiona said from where she sat next to Tim.
“Mama, Emma, what are you doing here?” Cordelia rubbed at her eyes, confused.
“Why, Nicholas sent for us!” her mother said brightly.
Just then, Tim burst into tears again, and Cordelia’s heart ached. She rushed forward and knelt by him, grasping at his hand.
“Oh, Tim, please rest. You will feel better; I promise.”
Tim continued to whimper, and she could hear him muttering Olivia’s name. Cordelia shushed him and hummed to him, and he eventually quieted. When she rose again, she paced, throwing her hands up.
“I am at my wits’ end, Mama! I have never tended to a sick child, but the doctor’s advice isn’t working.
We are giving him the medicine, and he is resting, and Olivia is not staying in the room with him, and yet nothing seems to be working.
” Tears began to stream down her cheeks, and she went to the window to look out over the bright sunshine covering the green fields. “And Nicholas…”
Emma spoke up. “As for Nicholas, he is doing a fine job. He is with Olivia downstairs with Danae. They are playing a game, I’m sure. I can hear the laughter from here.”
Cordelia was comforted by that. “We are all calling him Nicholas now?” she asked with a smirk, turning back to look at her smiling sister and mother.
“Well, he asked us to,” Emma said plainly, glancing at their mother before turning back to Cordelia. “He said we are family.”
Cordelia’s heart did a foolish thing and rose with hope. “He said that?” she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
Something warmed in her chest at the thought of that, Nicholas calling them family, Nicholas bidding them to come and help them. It made her want to hug him, kiss him, but it also made her want to shake him.
Why can’t he simply be the man I know he is all of the time? Why does he continue to hide away?
“Yes, for it’s true. And he asked us to come and help to make sure that you were caring for yourself and to provide any guidance on caring for a child.
Now, my dear, you mustn’t fret. Your nanny has told me that the doctor believes the worst to be passed.
Sometimes, children are a bit stubborn with their illnesses, especially boys.
” She rolled her eyes. “They like to drag out their discomfort for as long as they can to see if they cannot squeeze out a bit more of our womanly sympathy.”
Lovingly, her mother brushed a hand over Tim’s forehead. “You are just the same as any man, little one.”
Cordelia wanted to cry again, seeing how much love her family had for her new one. Her mother was looking at Tim as if he was her grandchild in truth.
She went back to Tim’s side and took her mother’s and sister’s hands. “Thank you.”
“So you’re glad to see us?” Emma teased. “Danae thought you’d be incensed that we wouldn’t think you could do it yourself.”
Cordelia chuckled. “Yes, she was right that I would have not asked for help, even though I should have.” She shrugged. “Perhaps I hope to prove myself to Helen in some way. That she was right to put her trust in me.”
She thought of her dear friend’s words when she’d told Cordelia that she would get the children if anything had ever happened to her.
There is no one but you, Cordelia. No one I trust more than you.
“And she was.” They all turned to see Nicholas in the doorway, looking so dear and handsomely disheveled with a loose cravat and dark stubble on her chin that Cordelia nearly jumped into his arms. His eyes didn’t move from hers.
“She was right about both of you,” Fiona said kindly. “This is all part of the journey with children. They are forever getting sick and getting our worries up.”
Cordelia smiled and rose to her feet, mouthing ‘thank you’ to Nicholas as she approached him, not trusting herself to keep from reaching for him, but she eventually refrained, remembering her mother was there.
“I have come to let you know that dinner is ready. I will send food up to you, or you are welcome to sit in the dining room. Olivia and Danae and I shall attempt it, but I cannot decide who is more unbiddable, Danae or Olivia.”
When everyone laughed, Cordelia beamed at him. It was right then that she knew her heart, even if she was afraid, and even if she was not certain of his heart.
“Thank you, but I will remain with him,” she said.
“Then, so shall we,” Emma added to her sister’s statement.
“I will sit with Tim, if you would like to sit with your family at dinner, Cordelia. Tim is not only your responsibility,” he told her.
He stepped into the room and knelt at Tim’s side, touching him on the leg. Cordelia placed her hand on Nicholas’s arm, her restraint to keep from touching him having not held on long enough. She gazed into his eyes, the feel of him warm and strong under her hand.
“No, thank you. I will sit with him. At dinner, I would only be worried about him, and you would disapprove of how little I would eat.” She gave him a weak smile. “And then I would get irritated at you once you found out and scolded me.”
He covered her hand with his, and Cordelia swallowed, wondering if her newfound revelation was obvious through her touch or her gaze. Chuckling, he added, “You know me too well, wife. Very well, trays it is. Wish me luck with the two wild women downstairs,” he said as he rose.
He widened his eyes in faux horror, leaving the ladies chuckling as he went.
“He really has grown on me, you know,” Emma said, shaking her head as if she couldn’t quite believe it herself. “A rake turned gentleman. Or perhaps there was a gentleman under there all along.”
Cordelia smiled, unable to yet speak the truth she knew in her heart.
Her mother caught her eye, however, but she looked away.
This was her own matter that she needed to deal with on her own time.
After dinner, Cordelia’s family readied to leave.
She hugged each of her sisters in turn and then hugged her mother tightly.
While they were still in an embrace, Fiona said, “I am always here for you, my dear, whenever you should have need of me. But I want to leave you now with your husband, for you two to figure things out on your own.”
Cordelia tensed, and her mother pulled away and took her hands. “You are more than capable, Cord. You always have been.”
Her mother’s words strengthened her as she watched Nicholas say his goodbyes and lead them to the door. Olivia was off sleeping in a guest room; Mrs. Browning was with Tim, and Nicholas and Cordelia were on their own at the foot of the stairs.
“Was I wrong to call for them?” he asked her softly, leaning against the banister and looking up at her from where she stood on the first step.
“No, not at all. Thank you. It was a good reprieve, and it felt like we were not alone in all this.”
“Good.” He smiled. “You and I are alike in this way at least. We wish to do things on our own, and it can be difficult to ask for help.”
The sounds of the house were dim, and most of the lamps had been turned low. It was simply the two of them in the dark. Cordelia’s heart beat fast, and she worried her breathing too would sound as if it was racing.
“Yes, I can be very difficult. It’s true.”
“Ha! An admission from one Cordelia Debrett. I never could have imagined.”
She grinned and turned away from him. “Well, considering I am now the Duchess of Meinster, perhaps it means I am becoming more tractable.” She clutched her skirts and walked up the steps.
“Dear God, say it isn’t so, Cordelia,” he said following after her. “I like you just as you are.”
Cordelia spun around, her eyes finding his, but before any other words could be said, twin cries cut through the night.
“Oh dear,” she said, hurrying up to the nursery, with Nicholas on her heels.
Mrs. Browning’s eyes were worried. “Tim will not settle. His fever is not as bad as it once was, I believe, but he will not rest.”
“Olivia,” Tim said with a groaning cry, tears spilling over his cheeks as he tried to get himself out of bed, but Mrs. Browning tried to keep him in place.
From down the hall, they could all hear Olivia crying as well. Nicholas put his hands on his hips.
“That’s enough of this then,” he said firmly. “Cordelia, what do you think we should do?”
She lifted her brows, surprised yet pleased to have been asked. She frowned, but as the din of crying rose, she sighed as she made her decision.