Chapter 5
Chapter Five
When Rowan Blackwood left the drawing room, Tamsin sank into the nearest chair, her hands still trembling as she pressed them against the cool silk of her skirts.
He was not what she had expected.
She had prepared herself for a shallow fop or a leering predator—the kind of man who would happily take credit for a conquest he hadn’t made. But Rowan Blackwood was... Well, he was neither shallow nor leering. He was far more intelligent than he had any right to be. And he had been… nice.
Worst of all was the guilt that now curled in her stomach.
He was a rake, yes, but he had been caught in the Brazen Belle’s web because of her.
If she hadn’t been in the Dark Walks, he would have slipped away with his lover, his reputation—such as it was—intact.
Instead, he’d generously agreed to marry her.
It seemed too good to be true, so of course, she didn’t trust it. Or him.
“I want this to be a marriage in truth.”
The details of the strange agreement they’d come to bounced around in her head. Surely, he didn’t truly mean to be faithful to her? A man like him would become bored with someone like her in a matter of days.
But that kiss he’d given her… She’d never imagined such passion was possible.
The tiniest bit of hope flared within her.
Perhaps there was a minute possibility that this could work.
Besides, what other choice did she have?
If she didn’t marry him, she’d live the rest of her life exiled to the country, never to have children or be received in polite society ever again.
She didn’t care much about being exiled from society, but she did want children.
She wanted them very badly. She’d spent enough time as a wallflower to have seen what it was like to remain a spinster, to be miserably alone, sitting on the sidelines as the world slipped by without you.
“Miss Tamsin?”
She jumped at the sound of the butler’s voice. Greyson stood in the doorway, his expression carefully neutral.
“Lady Rose Sinclair has arrived, my lady. She is... quite distressed. I have placed her in the morning room.”
“Thank you, Greyson. I will go to her at once.”
She’d been so distracted by the Belle’s article that she hadn’t thought of Rose since this morning. A new pang of guilt assailed her.
Tamsin found Rose pacing by the window, her face blotchy from crying. The moment the door closed, Rose threw herself into Tamsin’s arms.
“Oh, Tamsin! I saw the Belle’s horrible article!” Rose cried into her shoulder, sobbing so hard that Tamsin struggled to understand her. “It’s all my fault. I should never have gone to meet Cedric. I should have listened to you. And now the Belle says—she says you and the earl—”
“Hush, Rose. Sit down.” Tamsin gently guided her friend to a settee, then took Rose’s cold, trembling hands in hers.
“I wasn’t with the earl. Of course, I wasn’t.
I went back to the supper boxes right after we parted ways.
The earl just happened to exit the Dark Walks right after I did, so the Belle assumed we were together.
She has made a mountain out of a molehill. That is what she does.”
“But your brother! And the earl!” Rose looked up, her eyes wide with terror.
“My maid says Lord Wilding went to Haversham House this morning with a challenge. Tamsin, if someone is killed because of me, I shall never forgive myself. I’ll go to your brother.
I’ll tell him the truth. I’ll tell him you were only in the woods because of me—”
“You will do no such thing,” Tamsin said, her voice firm, leaving no room for argument. Rose’s confession wouldn’t help her now. It would only make things worse. “And my brother and the earl are not going to duel. They were able to talk things out.”
“But you are ruined!”
“I am not ruined,” Tamsin lied, forcing a small, tight smile. “I am... engaged. The earl has asked for my hand, and I have accepted. He was just here. We are to be married by Special License this Friday.”
Rose gasped, her tears giving way to sheer shock. “Married? To the Earl of Haversham? But you don’t even know him! They say he is… Well, they say he is the biggest rake in London. Didn’t you read the Belle’s article?”
“He is a gentleman,” Tamsin said, and to her surprise, she realized she meant it.
He had chosen the honorable path, even though he’d done nothing wrong, even though doing so was of absolutely no benefit to him.
How many other men would have done the same?
Very few, she’d wager. “The damage is already done, Rose. The ton believes I met Haversham in those woods. If you speak up now, we will both be ruined. Your reputation will be shredded, and mine will not be saved. It will only be seen as a cover for your indiscretion.”
“I can’t let you do this,” Rose whispered. “I don’t want you to be tied to a man you don’t love just to save me from my own folly. We were going to make love matches, Tam! That was always the plan.”
“Life very seldom goes to plan,” Tamsin said, squeezing her friend’s hands, trying to force back the hollowness spreading inside her. “Promise me, Rose. Promise me on your life and mine that you will never tell a soul why I was in the Dark Walks that night. Let this be the end of it.”
Rose looked at her for a long time, her lower lip trembling, before she finally gave a slow, miserable nod. “I promise.”
Tamsin hugged Rose tightly, glad that her friend was no longer angry with her.
She eased away and attempted a laugh. “I suppose I could have done worse than one of the richest earls in the country. I find him incredibly handsome, and… he kissed me, Rose. He kissed me, and it was wonderful. In fact, now that I know how exciting kissing a man can be, I understand your fascination with Lord Cedric a bit more.”
Rose’s eyes widened, and then her face went all dreamy once again. “Being alone with Cedric is the most exciting thing I’ve ever known. If Lord Rowan makes you feel that way, I think things will be fine between you.”
“I certainly hope so.” Tamsin wished she were na?ve enough to think that attraction could carry a marriage.
But she supposed in the grand scheme of things, it was better to have it than to be repulsed by the man she would spend her life with.
Plenty of her friends had been married off to men twice their age, men with balding pates and protuberant guts.
Rose began gushing about her excitement for the wedding, but Tamsin was only half paying attention.
She loved Rose, but the girl was easily distracted by superficial things.
Tamsin had next to no interest in the wedding details.
All she could think about was that by trying to save Rose’s reputation, she had ruined her own life in the process.