Kendall #3
“I’m guilty of all of that, Kendall, but I told you I was backing off for you and I fucking meant that. If I’m sober, I don’t say what the fuck I don’t mean.”
“He was going to kill Mattie,” she spat around a sob.
“He would’ve taken her away from me. I always wanted a daughter.
Do you know when I discovered I was pregnant with Rory, I was a little disappointed?
I wanted a daughter to be the mom I never had.
To t-teach her things and to show her how to make up her face.
Go shopping with her. And just love her.
Show her the beauty of being a woman. How could I have forgotten the dangers, too? ”
“Mattie’s there, sweetheart,” he said gruffly. “Safe. You have your daughter. Maybe not particularly sound right now but she will get there. She has Caldwell blood. Your blood. That means she has inherent strength.”
“What the fuck do you care, Bash? You would kill her for what you’re praising to me. Your fucking platitudes won’t convince me otherwise.”
“I didn’t call to defend myself,” he said irritably.
“I’m not interested in making excuses for what I do nor am I blowing smoke up your ass.
You chose to stay at Johnnie’s side when you pushed your daughter out of your pussy.
Even before you became aware of what happened to all the women before her, you, you fucking knew what faced her.
Forget Aunt Kimber, Patricia, Tess, Vivian, Dinah, and Elmira.
You didn’t know about them at the time, but you fucking knew what happened to Zoann.
You knew what the fuck Spoon and Logan did to you.
What Daddy, Rack, and Snake did to Meggie.
You fucking chose to raise Matilda in that club with full fucking disclosure. ”
Kendall wilted. Everything Bash said was true, so she couldn’t think of anything to say except, “Mattie is so young, though.”
“Sharper threatened to take Meggie when she was eight.”
“What?”
“You didn’t know?”
Had she known? Probably, but her head was pounding and her heart was broken. The last thing she wanted to think about were those fucked up letters detailing mayhem, murder, and misery. “You can’t excuse your behavior because of what Sharper Banks planned.”
“It wasn’t my fucking behavior that caused what happened. That’s all on Wally.”
Kendall had no response. It was too painful to think of one. She accepted the reality of Rory’s future while staying willfully blind to what lay ahead for Mattie.
“I know you’re upset with me, gorgeous, and I wish I didn’t give a fuck.
I do, babe. I hate your tears and your pain.
Why don’t you talk to Mattie about setting a different course for her life?
Send her off to college so she can meet a good motherfucker, unconnected to the life?
Let her be club affiliated not club adjacent. ”
“She wants to get into cybersecurity.” Something Johnnie didn’t know because he wouldn’t agree. “Val and Stretch taught her so much and she does the rest. She’s so brilliant.”
“Like you, Kendall. You should be proud of her.”
“Johnnie doesn’t know,” she rambled. “He…I don’t think he’d like her choices.”
“What the fuck does that motherfucker like?”
“Not much,” Kendall admitted.
Bash grunted. “Now, gorgeous, what do you want me to do to Wally, Jr. when Cleaner brings him to me?”
“Cut his goddamn hands off and then chop his cock into tiny pieces,” she snarled, pulling ideas from her anger and pain. “Then…then…then…” She couldn’t imagine a punishment vile enough to match what he did. “I hate him so fucking much.”
“Anything else?”
She shook her head. Somewhere, on the fringes of her mind, she knew she should speak since Bash couldn’t see her.
“Got my notes on your wishes, gorgeous. What do you think of hot oil in his eyes? Or do you think shoving his cock in hot oil would hurt more?”
Kendall removed the phone from her ear to frown at it. “I don’t want to consider either option.”
“That’s fine. You and I have created an outstanding menu. Do you want photos of the finished product?”
“No, asshole. And, if I were your attorney, I’d tell you not to text pictures of a motherfucking corpse. Evidence.”
“Can you be my attorney? We can role play sometimes. Prosecutor and defendant. I’ll even let you spank me.”
“This conversation is unacceptable.”
“Once I kill Johnnie, it will be wholly acceptable, gorgeous.”
“Kill Johnnie?”
“I take it you don’t like that idea,” he said sourly.
“Fuck no! You can’t kill my husband. That’s my fucking job. Otherwise, leave him the fuck alone.”
“Do you know why I love you so much? You’re so fucking loyal, even to a motherfucker who doesn’t deserve it.”
“You don’t fucking know me, Bash, so you can’t possibly love me.”
“Tops and Bottoms by Daria Munroe is about insta-love. Never believed in it until I read that book. Do you want to borrow it?”
Hysteria rose in Kendall. She didn’t care about his fucking romance novels. “Don’t kill Johnnie.”
“He has one more fucking thing to do to you.”
“If you kill him, Christopher—”
“Won’t do a motherfucking thing. Methinks my little brothers don’t get along.”
They didn’t. Maybe she’d talk to Meggie and ask her to talk to Johnnie directly. He’d always listened to her, even over Kendall. “I’m tired,” she said miserably.
“Can I call you tomorrow and check on you?”
“If I encourage a friendship with you, you will hurt Johnnie. I can’t risk that.”
“You really love that braindead fuckhead?”
Not at the moment. “Yes.”
Bash snickered. “Ah, gorgeous, you sure know how to make a man’s cock hard.
Johnnie fucked up royally, so you probably aren’t too fond of him now, but I admire your allegiance.
If I promise to keep my little brother’s head on his shoulders, will you let me call you just to see how you and your girl are? ”
“Fine,” she said tiredly.
“You’ve just made my fucking night, babe. Later,” he said, and hung up.