Chapter Diesel
Rebel would never take the full use of her arms and legs for granted again. She wanted to skip through the fucking house once Momma dropped her off and then returned to the club to go somewhere with Daddy.
Instead of skipping, though, she walked to the kitchen, intending to grab a yogurt and a bottle of water, but halting when she saw Diesel leaning against the island, looking at something on his phone.
He lifted his head long enough to sweep his gray gaze over her and then return his attention to whatever.
“How are you feeling, Reb?” she parroted. “I’m so happy that your cast is off. What are you wearing to Harley’s play tonight?”
“I’d say that if I was fucking talking to you, but I’m not, so fuck you.”
All her joy fled and she shifted her weight. “Is it because of the videos?” she asked, heat sweeping over her entire body. “I’m sorry. I don’t care…I mean I do…Kind of…”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Do you think I’m gross?” she asked, blushing. “I-I mean, uh, nasty, for, uh, for touching myself?”
Diesel’s breath hitched, but she was too embarrassed to worry about him.
His eyes darkened, before he closed them and cursed.
“Your body,” he snapped, glaring at her.
“Your fucking business. Did you fucking think about how I’d feel when you let that motherfucker kiss you? You didn’t. So, again, fuck you.”
Oh. He was upset over Kaia. That re-centered her equilibrium and put her on familiar ground. She straightened. “Fuck you right back. I kissed my boyfriend. It isn’t your business. You have a fiancée, so what I do with him shouldn’t bother you.”
His nostrils flaring, Diesel shoved his phone in his jacket pocket. His weird smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“You’re right, sweetheart,” he told her, his foul mood evaporating as if she’d imagined it, throwing her off-balance again.
Usually, Diesel didn’t change until she cursed him out.
“I have an idea,” he told her. “To make up for my bad behavior.”
“What?” she asked suspiciously, uneasy at the gleam in his eyes.
“Let’s go to the natatorium to swim.” He licked his lips and smiled at her. “Just you and me.”
Rebel flushed at the huskiness of his voice.
As much as she wanted to take him up on his offer, she couldn’t.
One, returning to the natatorium any time soon was unimaginable.
More importantly, though, she and Kaia had kissed, and the way Diesel sounded made her feel like she’d betray Kaia by accepting.
“I can’t,” she said, wondering about the cameras in the kitchen.
Daddy would pitch ten fucking fits if he saw this exchange.
Diesel sauntered to her, crowding her space, so close she felt the heat of his body and smelled his aftershave.
He raised his right hand. “I swear, sweetheart, as your big brother, I won’t let anything happen to you,” he said as he lowered his hand and deepened his smile. “Your cast is off. Your physical scars are healed. Now, it’s time to address the mental ones.”
She nodded. He was right. Especially since she had more mental scars piled on top of that one.
And she’d have to go into that stupid natatorium at some point.
Why not now? She mimicked his earlier action and licked her own lips.
A half smile curved his mouth that she pretended didn’t almost make her swoon.
“Can I invite Kaia?”
He narrowed his eyes, his anger reigniting and blanketing his face. “No.”
“Then we can’t—”
“Go and change into your bathing suit, Rebel. Kaia isn’t your fucking brother. He doesn’t understand what you need, or deserve, like I do.”
That almost sounded like a threat. Panic settled into her. Rule had been a combination of sweet and confrontational before he tried to kill her.
A pained expression crossed his face. “You know I’ll never hurt you, sweetheart. I’m your big brother. I love you and just want the best for you.”
She nodded again. “I might not get in the water,” she croaked, trusting Diesel as much as she could. But right now her trust was shaky at best.
“Why don’t you go upstairs, change into your bathing suit and meet me in the natatorium in thirty minutes? You wanted me to notice that your cast is gone. I want to do one better and celebrate that milestone.”
Still, something made her hesitate.
“Trust me, sweetheart.”
“Famous last words,” she said with a nervous laugh.
He snickered and took her hand in his, tugging her toward the hallway, then leading her up the back staircase to her bedroom door.
“Half an hour, sweetheart.”
It was a little longer than half an hour. More like forty minutes, but Rebel had to work up her courage to set foot in the natatorium again. The last time she was there, she’d almost lost her life. She still wasn’t sure if she could ever get in a pool again, let alone this one.
Now, she stood outside the natatorium, listening to the awful spa music filtering through the speakers and into the hallway. Chlorine invaded Rebel’s nostrils and she backed away, then halted.
Diesel wanted to help her. Even with all her reservations, he’d convinced her to put her faith in him. She was being a doofus, mistrusting him. He wasn’t a threat to her, Kaia, or their relationship. He was just living life as he usually did—fearlessly and as her big brother.
Drawing in a deep breath, Rebel forced her feet forward. Her legs felt leaden, heavier than when she’d worn her cast. But fear had no place in her life because of who her father was and because of how her brothers saw her.
The Terrible Triplets would probably tease her for the rest of her life if they saw her terror.
She had to go in there. Failure wasn’t a fucking option.
Standing at the sill, she forced herself to cross that threshold.
She immediately halted. Breathed in again, the scent of chlorine even stronger now that she stood feet away from the pool.
She hated spa music when she was swimming, so the volume gave her a slight headache.
It was fucking spa music. It belonged in a fucking spa.
Realizing Diesel hadn’t arrived yet spiked her anxiety. Coming in on her own was bad enough. She absolutely couldn’t remain without anyone else around.
She started to back away just as the music stopped.
A moan, followed by a grunt, reached her.
Frowning, she glanced around, wondering if one of the boys had left behind a laptop with a porn flick playing to prank her. But were they even home? She believed they’d gone to school today.
But it wasn’t a film. It was Diesel and Jana, having sex on a chaise lounge at the far end, near the bar. Her legs wrapped around his sleek back.
Recoiling, Rebel stumbled back.
Diesel glanced over his shoulder, met her gaze, held it for a moment, and then smirked.
“Your pussy feels so good, baby,” he crooned, not looking away from her, the vicious gleam in his eyes in direct contrast to the words he spoke to Jana.
Glancing around wildly, Rebel searched for a knife to stab him. But she couldn’t see through her tears. She stumbled back, sick to her stomach, dizzy with betrayal.
Forcing herself to come into the natatorium had been hard enough. But she’d done so because she trusted Diesel and believed he had her best interest in mind.
But that wasn’t true. He’d wanted revenge because of Kaia. He’d set her up.
Every girlish fantasy she’d ever had about him evaporated.
Every dream. All her love and admiration.
It didn’t even matter how she’d loved him.
As a brother or a crush. She had, but she’d never fucking forgive him.
He’d lured her to the natatorium after everything she’d endured in there and after Ryan’s betrayal.
She stared at Diesel, glared at him, hoping he saw the bitter hatred she felt for him.
His smile falling away, he halted his hips.
A sob floating from her, she turned and ran, almost running over Kaia in her effort to escape but he grabbed her shoulders and saved her from a fall.
“Hey, babe,” he told her, not releasing her. “What’s up?”
She couldn’t explain her jumbled emotions, the combination of rage, humiliation, and devastation at Diesel’s cruelty. She knew her feelings weren’t right and would hurt Kaia, when there’d been enough of that.
She definitely didn’t want to cause him pain, not after she’d hurt her mother so deeply and almost lost her and then drove Rule insane with her harsh judgment.
Jana’s breathy cries combined with Diesel’s shout. Mortification burned through Rebel. Kaia lifted a brow and released her, walking around her to look inside the natatorium.
Rebel didn’t have the energy to stop him. Tears rolling hot and heavy down her cheeks, she leaned against the wall, startled at the door slamming.
“Come on, babe,” Kaia said a moment later, taking her hand and not giving her a chance to deny him. He escorted her down the breezeway and paused at the door, shrugging out of his jacket to put over her bathing suit. He glanced at her bare feet and turned, then bent slightly. “Hop on.”
Wiping her cheeks, Rebel wrapped her legs around Kaia’s waist, trusting he wouldn’t let her fall as he carried her on his back, all the way to the swings.
He set her on one, then sat beside her on the one to her right.
“Let the breeze blow through your hair a minute, then I’ll take you back inside so you can dress.”
“Your jacket is nice and warm,” she said. “I don’t mind hanging out with you a little while.”
“Let’s see who can swing the highest in thirty seconds.”
“Bet,” she said, completely up for that challenge and happy he wasn’t questioning her.
She saw the curiosity in his eyes, but he wasn’t pushing her.
“Timer is set,” he said.
She kicked off, gaining momentum with each tip of her head and thrust of her feet. He was taller than her and his legs were stronger, so he won. It didn’t matter to Rebel. The sheer joy of the moment eased her heartache.
She won their second contest.
“No fair!” she cried, laughing happily. “You let me win.”