Chapter Thirty-Seven – Rebel #2
Rebel swiped away another tear. “Don’t fucking lie to me.
After that, my brother became almost rabid in his hatred toward me.
If he saw Diesel in my room or me…me…” She burned with shame.
Last night, while she’d cried in the guest room, Momma said what she did in private was her business, the same words everyone had said the entire evening.
But Rule was a different story. He was her brother, her twin, once her best friend.
Yet they were older with private parts that they shouldn’t see.
“How could you show him, Ryan? Why’d you let Willard talk you into that? ”
A beat of silence passed, then Ryan shifted his weight. “I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry.”
Sniffling, she wiped her cheeks and raised a miserable gaze to her cousin. “Did you watch those stupid videos?”
He flushed.
“You’re an asshole,” she snarled, torn between anger, even more humiliation, and deep shame. Then, she remembered Harley and her bruises and Aunt Bailey’s stance. She remembered Molly and all her injuries and reminded herself she’d gotten off light in the scheme of things.
“Do you want me to tell my mom? If that’ll absolve me and make your burden easier, I’ll confess, Reb.”
“All that’ll do is hurt your mom, fuckhead. Our family is important to me. Even you. Though you don’t deserve it. Because I also fucking know you targeted Harley because of CJ, too.”
“I wanted Molly—”
“Fuck you. I think if you hadn’t fucking resented CJ so much, you would’ve told your dad, my dad, Uncle Mort, or Diesel. You kept your fucking mouth shut because you knew hurting me and Harley would hurt CJ.”
Ryan remained silent but the guilt on his face spoke louder than any words ever could.
“Reb, baby, what are you doing here?” Aunt Zoann said, breezing into the room. She froze and stared at Rebel’s wet cheeks. “What’s the matter?”
“Your son. As usual,” she grumbled.
The pain in Ryan’s eyes wore Rebel out, especially when she saw Aunt Zoann’s fear. She wasn’t a stupid woman. With all the turmoil swirling around them, she knew something was up.
“I need to ask you something, Reb,” she started, glancing from Rebel to Ryan and swallowing.
“Molly’s been back less than a week. Suddenly Harley is at the center of a meeting at the club and Ryan is beaten.
I know he took those pictures of Harley, but what else did he do to her and is he the reason Molly was taken? ”
“He slept with Harley to get back at CJ,” Rebel said, unsure what pictures Aunt Zoann meant, giving the excuse Momma said to use if Aunt Zoann questioned her.
“Not because he truly liked her at first. He told one of his stupid teammates and he blabbed it to Nardo. That’s why Nardo beat up Harley.
No, he isn’t the reason Molly was taken.
That would be that hatchet-faced, wretched-hearted, Uncle Johnnie. ”
Relief flickered across Aunt Zoann’s face, until she realized what Rebel said and she gasped. “Johnnie?”
Rebel would die on that fucking hill of truth.
Unfortunately, Mattie and Aunt Kendall would be affected, too.
She wasn’t sure how much either of them knew about the lily-livered head-of-the-family.
“I hate all the secrets, Aunt Zoann. Mainly because we can’t maim or kill all the motherfuckers who deserve it.
” She resisted the urge to side-eye Ryan.
“But the family comes first. We’re stronger when we stand together, so as much as I’d love to offer to use Uncle Johnnie’s chest as a trampoline after you knock him out, we can’t because of Mattie and Aunt Kendall. ”
Aunt Zoann nodded. “And Rory, JJ, and Blade.”
“Maybe JJ. Not Blade because he’s just three. Never Rory. That’s Uncle Johnnie’s biggest champion.”
“He’ll learn,” Aunt Zoann said, then she turned to Ryan who’d slipped on jeans during their distraction. “Son, it was just breaking my heart to think you had anything…never mind. That was wrong of me.” Without warning, she punched him.
Rebel cackled.
“You’re lucky Val kicked your ass for fucking over Harley.” Grabbing his ear, she twisted. “Otherwise, I’d drag you to Mortician myself and watch him pound you into the ground.” She thumped his head. “How could you do that to her just to get to CJ?”
“Exactly my thoughts, Auntie,” Rebel said, poking her tongue at Ryan, wishing it was forked and venomous to blind him.
He glared at her, so she flipped him off, happy Aunt Zoann’s back was to her.
“I was coming to ask you to drive me to Ridge Moore, Ryan. Val is meeting me there and I’ve had an upset stomach all day. That’s no longer a good idea.”
“Mom, don’t hate me.”
“I don’t hate you. I’m so fucking pissed at you, I want to take Rebel’s suggestion and jump on your chest. You don’t use any fucking girl as a pawn for revenge. I’m also so disappointed in you. I expect so much better from you.”
“I’ll never do anything like that again.”
“If you do, I might not hate you, but I’d never forgive you, son, so remember that before you decide to play with a girl’s life to suit your own selfish agenda.” Aunt Zoann hugged Rebel, then stalked out of the room.
“I know you covered for me on behalf of my mom,” Ryan started when his mother’s footsteps faded away.
“As much as it pains me at the moment, you’re my fucking family, too,” Rebel said darkly. “You have a lot to atone for. And speaking of Mattie, her. You know what happened to her, and yet you added to her suffering.”
“I told you I feel bad.”
“I want you writhing in pain and misery.”
“Not really. Otherwise, you would’ve told Mom the truth.”
Aunt Zoann wasn’t the only reason, no matter what Ryan believed. “Did you see how Aunt Zoann got onboard with not killing Uncle Johnnie because of family?”
Ryan shrugged.
“Family is as important to her as it is to me. It doesn’t matter how I feel. Or CJ. Or Rory. Or any of my brothers and our cousins. Until you put family first, you’ll never accept how we see you, Ryan.”
“You’ve changed a lot.”
“I had no choice.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Jesus Christ, if you apologize one more fucking time, I will punch you in your fucking mouth.”
He smiled. “Maybe you are the same old Reb.”
“I will never not be my father’s daughter, no matter how much he refutes that notion.”
“You’re a handful. He’s just frustrated.”
“And he’s easy-peasy,” she said sarcastically. “Not frustrating at all.”
“Nope.”
“You’re a bigger asshole for that blatant lie.”
“Inconsequential in the scheme of things.”
Rebel got to her feet. “I have to pick out an outfit. We’ll probably be leaving soon.”
“You’re a girl.”
“Always knew you were a genius.”
“I mean don’t you take forever to get dressed?”
“When I want to enhance my beauty or drive everyone crazy to make them wait on me.”
“Enhance your beauty?”
“I’m already gorgeous, Ryan. I don’t need to do much to myself.”
“That’s for a dude to decide.”
“In your fucking dreams. I have a fucking mirror. I don’t need a man to validate what the fuck I see right in front of me, fuckface. Besides, the man said it to me all my life.”
“Diesel,” he said, shaking his head.
“Ha! Daddy. My father always said how pretty I was and he thinks Momma is a goddess. He—everyone—says I look just like her.”
“I suppose that would make an impression on you.”
“It did. Anyway, get dressed. Drive Aunt Zoann to the play and then find me. I’ll let you sit next to me and Kaia.”
“Everybody hates me.”
“Exactly, dickhead. No one can show that in front of your mom. Crawl from under your rock and use family situations to your advantage.”
“Are you sure?”
“Even if you can’t convince any of us to ever truly trust you again, step up and take care of Aunt Zoann. That’ll bring your dad around quicker than anything else.”
“Thanks, Reb.”
“Later,” she said with an exaggerated wave.
She didn’t see Aunt Zoann or Uncle Val when she reached the first floor, so she headed down the hallway toward the front door.
Crashes and revving cars filled the air, growing louder as she approached the living room.
She peeked in. Devon sat on the sofa, engrossed in a video game.
Deciding not to disturb him, she started to turn but he glanced over his shoulder and their eyes met.
“Guilt doesn’t look good on you, asshole,” she hissed.
“I-I don’t know what you mean,” he mumbled.
“You knew what Ryan was doing, so shut the fuck up.”
“I can explain.”
“Nope. Sure can’t. There’s no fucking explanation in the world that’ll suffice, but it’s so shitty that you’re letting him take all the fucking heat.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You hid the fucking truth. You’re an accessory to his fuckery.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“If you can’t tell your mom and dad that you knew Ryan had sex with Harley to get back at CJ—”
His gaze flew to hers and his nostrils flared.
“At least go to your partner in crime and help him through this.”
“I’m so—”
“I will fucking kill you if you apologize.”
Nodding, he pressed his lips together.
“Ryan needs someone to lean on, twerp,” she said. “If you’re too chickenshit to confess, at least find the backbone to listen to what he’s going through.”
“I will.”
“In the meantime, get fucking dressed. You’re going to the play because he’s going.”
“Suppose everyone figures out my role?”
“My good deed is done for the day, Devon. If you’re exposed, you’re on your fucking own.”
“Okay,” he muttered.
With nothing more to say, she left. Although slipping through the gap in the fence was a shortcut, she risked running into that slab of bacon. Fucking bitch.
Several minutes later, she buzzed herself in at the front gate of her family’s home and headed up the walkway, the breeze lifting her hair and washing over her face.
The entrance door swung open and Jana lumbered outside. When she caught sight of Rebel, her shoulders slumped even further. They halted a few feet from each other.
Jana’s moans, her words, rose in Rebel’s head, and she balled her hands into fists, considering if she should ignore Jana and use the entrance to the mudroom, so she wouldn’t have to say anything to her. But since Diesel was a motherfucker, he’d probably flaunt Jana at the play.
Might as well rip another fucking bandage away. “Have you chosen your outfit for tonight?” Rebel asked with as much enthusiasm as possible.
“Diesel said I can’t come.”
“Do you want to go?”
“Only because I’m so lonely in the treehouse.”
The scene from the natatorium rose in Rebel’s head again. She couldn’t bring herself to contemplate everything that jackass said after he broke into her room. Again. His stupid knife fucked up the mechanism.
“He ordered me a pizza for my dinner,” Jana said, breaking into Rebel’s thoughts.
“He’s just a big old bastion of romance,” Rebel responded with a disgusted snort.
Every time before that she’d seen Jana, Rebel wanted to cry.
As much as she cared about Kaia, Jana’s presence felt like the final nail that sealed away all hope of a future for Rebel and Diesel.
Yet, it couldn’t compare to her pain at Diesel showing how little he cared about her.
He didn’t even understand why he’d hurt her so deeply.
“Diesel’s my hero,” Jana whispered.
“Yeah, no. Diesel’s no one’s hero, Jana. Not in the sense you mean. He’s a fucking asshole.”
Jana hung her head. “You don’t think I’m good enough for him, do you?”
“That couldn’t be farther from the truth. I think you’re too good for him. Much better than me. If that motherfucker fed me fucking pizza and sent me back to my fucking kennel while he went out with his family, he’d have to keep me tied up forever if he wanted to live.”
“I don’t want to make him mad.”
“So you’ve said. All you’re doing is helping him to disrespect you.”
“I didn’t lie when I said no one’s ever treated me as kind as him.”
“Then, babes, you’ve been hanging out with unimaginable fuckheads if they treated you worse than King Fuckhead.”
Momma opened the door and stuck her head out. “Reb, there you are, love. We have to get ready.”
Rebel pointed to Jana, who’d backed into the evening shadows. “I’m talking to Diesel’s fiancée.”
Peeping out further, Momma smiled. “Hey, sweetheart.”
“Hi, Meggie,” Jana mumbled.
“Come on, Reb. We’re going to be late,” Momma said.
Rebel nodded and started by Jana, until an idea popped into her head. “You can be my guest, Jana,” she said, smiling brightly.
“Can I wear this?” Jana asked. “I don’t have much else.”
“You can choose something from my closet,” Rebel said, proud of herself. Yeah, she was being slightly petty, but for some reason, she just hated how Diesel treated Jana. No one else seemed to care.
Rebel wished she didn’t either.