Chapter 32 – Johnnie #2
“If you don’t want to leave the house, then I’ll take Mattie, Blade, and JJ, and we’ll go.”
Interesting she didn’t mention Rory, though that didn’t matter, since Johnnie would not lose his family, especially his wife.
“This is the way it will be between us, Kendall—”
“There is no us, bastard.” Only Kendall could sound tragic and furious. “There are me and my children.”
His own anger returning, Johnnie placed an arm around her neck. “Behave, Kendall,” he warned her. “If you try to leave, you’ll be so fucking sorry.”
“Then kill me now!”
“I should,” he snapped. “You’ve humiliated me. You’ve been having an affair for months, but I refuse to allow you to wander off for dick, too.”
She tried to elbow him, but he held her too tight.
“Jesus, fuckhead, I wish I had fucked Mortician. Yes, I know he loves Bailey, but he loves me, too. We’re friends.
He would show me more care and concern than you have in months, and I wouldn’t care if he went back to Bailey.
At least someone would’ve been kind to me for a little while. ”
“I have been kind to you!” Johnnie roared. “You turned against me.”
“A dog would turn against you, motherfucker.”
Johnnie gritted his teeth, hating how quick Kendall was on her feet. Like Christopher and Bash…
Bash?
Bash!
“You went away and fucked Bash!”
“No, I went away and fucked a college hockey team,” she responded, her pulse pounding against his forearm, where it rested against her neck. “You caught me, Johnnie. I fucked them and their coaches. If you’ll release me, I can go back for another round.”
“Bash will tell me,” Johnnie said, laughing wildly. “Then I’ll shoot him and cut his fucking head off.”
“For nothing because I haven’t slept with him.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Obviously, but it no longer matters. I’m moving out. I’m so sick of you. All of you,” she said, sobbing again. “You don’t care how much you hurt me. Physically or mentally.”
“Right back at you, Kendall.”
“For the love of God, Johnnie, let go of me, so I can leave.”
“No. You aren’t leaving me, wife. And I’m moving back into our bedroom.”
“I don’t know you or me anymore.”
What the fuck did she mean by that? Had she lost her fucking mind? “You know me and I know you, so shut the fuck up.”
“Johnnie—”
“You’re not leaving me. I love you. I can’t imagine my life without you. You are not leaving. You’re only thinking about your selfishness and hurt feelings.”
“You’ve hurt me. You want to hurt Bash and Mortician, my friend.”
He was hurting Mortician by targeting Bailey because that motherfucker couldn’t tell Kendall he didn’t really want her.
Johnnie hadn’t figured out how to get to Bash.
For now, that didn’t matter. Only Kendall’s obsession with motherfucking Mortician.
“I wish you put as much consideration into me as you do him.”
“I have. I did. You didn’t care. You’re hellbent on destroying friendships, family, and yourself. Me.”
“I was doing—”
“Nothing worth everything you’ve torched.
You went rogue because you found an excuse to do it.
You found a way to get back at Meggie for spurning you.
You want to hurt Mortician just because he’s my friend.
You wanted to make Outlaw pay for being the man he is.
For never failing you, no matter the reason. ”
“So, now you’re taking it upon yourself to seek revenge on their behalf by leaving me?” Johnnie asked with incredulity.
“I’m tired. I want…I want you to love me because I’m Kendall, not Meggie’s replacement. I’m tired of being second in your life to ghosts of the past. And I fucking refuse to live in fear that you’ll force me to your bed because you’ve lost your fucking mind.”
Pain settled in Johnnie’s gut, leaving him at a loss as to how to proceed. “What do you want me to say?”
“What can you say when I’ve lost all faith in you? You aren’t my Johnnie and I’ve accepted that you never will be again.”
“So what are you saying?” Johnnie demanded, afraid, angry and hurt. “You no longer love me?”
“I love you very much, but it’s never been enough. I can’t seem to stop loving you.”
It sounded as if she was trying her best to. He wouldn’t point that out, though. He’d focus on something else. “You crucify me because of Megan when I stopped loving her years ago. Tell me, Kendall, how can you be second to her if we both know I don’t fucking love her?”
“Johnnie!” she cried, her voice trembling.
“You love the idea of her. That broken girl you swooped in to try and steal from Outlaw. She isn’t…
” She yanked at the wild tangle of her hair.
“And here we are again. Still talking about her. We spend more time on her than we do on us. She’s living her life, loving her husband. ”
“And hating me!”
“You’ve been very hateable lately, motherfucker,” she snarled.
Johnnie would attack in a different way since this argument wasn’t working. “Leave, Kendall. Go. But my children stay with me.”
“Mattie needs me and Blade’s a toddler. JJ is old enough—”
“Fuck you. You’ll never see them again. After I sue for full custody and win because of your history of fucking insanity, I’ll take them far away from Hortensia, where you’ll never find them.”
Kendall tried to twist around, but he slid behind her, nestling her between his thighs. “Johnnie—”
“Shut up,” he gritted.
“You don’t—”
“I mean every fucking word,” he interrupted. “Since you have so little regard for me and think I’m a piece of shit—”
“The past hour hasn’t changed that perception!”
“You think I don’t love you, then I’ll live up to your fucking expectations.”
“You can’t take my children. My Mattie. Please, I’m begging you. I love my kids,” she said, starting to sob again. “They’re all I have.”
“Fuck you,” he snarled, insulted. “And you’re a fucking liar. You have your precious Mortician. Roxanne. Megan. Christopher. Bash, whom I think you fucked recently.”
“I haven’t.”
“It’s one of them, Kendall,” Johnnie snarled. “Why the fuck did you go away with Mortician last week if not to fuck him? No, why the fuck did you lie and suddenly decide to leave Sunday?”
“I haven’t slept with anyone.”
“As if you’d fucking confess.”
“I-I told you I-I needed time to myself to think. What you told me about you and Rory, knowing about the girls and—”
“Fuck you. You ran away from me and your children because you didn’t like what I said to you?” That didn’t make any fucking sense, especially since he’d apologized to her.
“I expected better from Rory.”
Johnnie allowed those words to sink in and her insinuation deepened his anger. “But not from me?”
Instead of responding, she said, “Don’t take my kids away—”
“You know you couldn’t win, don’t you? It doesn’t matter what Brooks and Diesel or whoever argued, you’re unstable. You always have been and you always will be. Even now, you’re a danger to yourself. You’d be a danger to them.”
“Johnnie—”
“You want to keep the kids? Then don’t leave and let me back in your bed.”
“What?” she cried, her outrage coupling with her despair. “That’s coercion. Forced intimacy.”
“Is it? I just fucking proved once I start licking your cunt, you’ll let me fuck you.”
Kendall shuddered, then wilted against him and triumph surged into Johnnie.
“Now, tell me where the fuck you went or I’ll start divorce proceedings and take everything from you. You’ll have nothing, not even your fucking sanity. Tell me who you met? You’re pitching pussy everywhere while I’ve been celibate. How could you betray me?” he roared.
“I didn’t…I didn’t meet anyone,” she said, her words barely understandable through her tears.
“Then why the fuck did you leave and suddenly decide we have to fucking divorce? You must’ve gone for a tryst.”
“I didn’t. I swear. I-I went on a retreat. A spa and—”
He laughed bitterly. “Liar!” he screamed. “You would’ve taken Mattie.”
“I needed time to myself,” she said desperately, gut-wrenching sobs escaping her. “I swear!”
He wanted to believe her, but he couldn’t. The last time Kendall left without warning was the worst six months of his life.
“So what’ll it be, wife?” he demanded, sensing victory.
Kendall bowed her head. “You win, Johnnie.”