Chapter 40
Emerson~
A s soon as Roselyn and I walked through the front doors of Windsor Academy, the whispers started, and it was hard for me not to gloat, and not because Ramsey had dropped to his knees in front of these people. It was hard not to gloat because I was embracing a humiliation that most of these kids would never be able to face, and that weakness was the very reason why Ramsey had so much power over these people.
When I’d been staring at myself in the bathroom earlier, I had wondered how I’d feel at this moment, and I felt surprisingly okay. Yeah, I still felt a tragic kinship with my mother in choosing a boy that was bad for me, but I also wasn’t my mother. While she hadn’t been able to stay away from my father because of how much she loved him, though it’d hurt, I was certain that I’d be able to walk away from Ramsey a second time if I had to.
“Not sure if I’ve ever told you this before, but you’re my hero,” Roselyn quipped. “I so want to be you when I grow up.”
I chuckled at that. “I hate to break it to you, but heroes generally prevail at the end of the movie, and I have no idea what awaits me at the end of mine and Ramsey’s story.”
“Are you regretting coming back already?” she asked, whispering her question as the murmurs in the hallway got louder, alerting us to the fact that Ramsey, Deke, and Liam were right behind us.
“No,” I answered honestly. “I’m just not delusional when it comes to Ramsey Reed.”
Roselyn didn’t say anything further as we reached my locker, which was still next to Ramsey’s, and that small detail bothered me for some reason. Maybe it was because it felt too…easy. Just like how Jamie and his friends had tried to rape me, everyone was more than eager to just move on and act like I hadn’t been humiliated in front of the entire school, and that didn’t sit well with me.
Even though no one could ever accuse me of being a coward, what I was feeling was more than that. This moment was about more than just facing these people after what Ramsey had done to me; this moment was about calling them out on their bullshit and not letting them get away with it.
Turning away from my locker, I looked around the hallway to see all eyes in our direction, and when my gaze landed on Ramsey’s, his chin went up, and I knew that he was waiting for me to go after him. He was expecting some sort of payback, and while he deserved it, I’d already made my bed where he was concerned, and I was more than willing to lie in it.
As soon as Ramsey, Deke, and Liam stood next to me and Roselyn, I stepped forward, and scanning the hallway again, I asked, “Anyone have any more used condoms that they’d like to throw my way?”
Crickets.
Taking another step, I asked, “Is there anyone else that would like to laugh at me or call me a whore?” Heads began to drop, but I didn’t care. “Does anyone want to tell me about any more plots to break up my relationship with Ramsey? Anyone else interested in raping me in one of the deserted hallways? Maybe call a couple of your friends to help out?” I looked around, and only a few students had the balls to still look my way, but most of them had their heads hung in either shame or fear of Ramsey, though I really didn’t care which reason it was. “No? No takers?” The silence was deafening, and it almost brought a smile to my face. “Okay, well…I’m only going to say this once, so if you need to pull your phone out to record this as a reminder, then please do.”
Not a single person pulled out their phone.
“If any of you has a problem with me, now would be the time to speak up,” I went on. “If any of you has something to say to me, do it now. And before you convince yourself that Ramsey is the reason why you’re going to keep your mouth shut, I can assure you that I don’t need Ramsey to fight my battles with any of you. Guy or girl, there’s not one motherfucker in this school that scares me, and do you want to know why? Because all of you are nothing but weak sheep, and that’s all that you’ll ever be. As for me, I’m the only person in this entire town that isn’t afraid of Ramsey Reed, and you’d all do well to remember that very significant fact.”
I gave everyone exactly ten seconds to say or do what they had to, and when no one said a word, I turned my back on all of them, then walked back towards my locker. Roselyn was quietly wiping tears from her face as Liam pulled her into a hug, and Deke looked as stoic as ever, but I could also see a mischievous glint in his green eyes, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say that I had just impressed him if he hadn’t already been impressed with me.
No one said anything as lockers started opening and closing, but once we’d gotten our things, Roselyn said, “I need to go get my stuff from my locker.”
“We’ll walk you,” Liam offered, and before she could accept or deny their escort, Deke and Liam were dragging her away, leaving me and Ramsey alone.
Ignoring the bustling hallway of students finally getting to class, Ramsey looked down at me as he asked, “What’s your plan, Emerson?”
My brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“What’s your plan to make us all pay?”
“Wh…what?” I stammered as my head jerked back in surprise. “What are you talking about?”
“Are you really going to let me get away with what I did?” he asked seriously. “Are you such a saint that you’ve truly forgiven me? Or are you biding your time like any good predator?”
That’s when I realized that Ramsey didn’t trust my motives, and for the first time in our relationship, it finally felt like we were on even ground. We might love one another to an unhealthy degree, but that same love also gave each of us the upper hand in this relationship, and that was a power that neither of us trusted the other with.
“I guess you’ll never know until you know, Ramsey,” I told him, and that was my final payback for that morning. “Because you’re never going to get those answers from me.”
Instead of losing his shit, Ramsey gave me a terse nod of acceptance, and if I were a better person, I’d backtrack and try to reassure him that I wasn’t out for revenge. However, Ramsey Reed was still Ramsey Reed, no matter how much he loved me. If he smelled even one drop of blood in the water, I’d never stand a chance against him.
“We’re getting married after graduation,” he announced, and that statement gave me instant whiplash. “As soon as we get our diplomas, we’re getting married.”
“Which diplomas are you referring to?” I asked when I finally found my voice again.
“High school,” he answered seriously.
What in the hell?
“Ramsey…what…” I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “Why…what’s the rush?”
“You were always going to marry me, Emerson,” he replied, skirting around my question.
“But why after graduation? Why not after college?”
“Because it’s no longer enough for you to just be my girlfriend,” he said, and I knew that he was serious about every word leaving his mouth right now. “Because I need more.”
“Because you’re scared?” I asked candidly.
“Because I’m fucking terrified, baby,” he admitted, and his words hit my chest like a ton of bricks. A vulnerable Ramsey Reed was something that only I was ever going to be able to experience, and I took that privilege very seriously.
“Of what?”
“I’m never going to deserve you, Emerson,” he said. “We both know that, and the only thing that will help me with this is to put my ring on your finger.”
“Marriage isn’t the answer when divorce still exists in the world, Ramsey,” I told him, reminding him of just how much life really did suck sometimes.
Ramsey lifted his arms to cradle my face in his hands. “Then marry me because you love me, Emerson. Marry me because I love you. Marry me because we’re not good for anyone else. Marry me because I’ll never try to cure you of me, and because you know that I can’t ever be cured of you. Marry me because what we have is the most electrifying thing in the world, baby.”
As I stared into his dark eyes, I knew this for the pure insanity that it was, but I also didn’t care. I didn’t care that we were a toxic mixture of love and pride. I didn’t care that we brought out the worst in each other, something that I should abhor after everything that my parents had been through. I didn’t care that this boy was probably going to break my heart again. I didn’t care because I also had the power to break his, and that made all the difference in the world.
“I meant what I said earlier, Ramsey,” I told him. “There won’t ever be a third chance.”
“I know,” he replied as he dropped his hands from my face. “I know it like I know my own name.”
“Then I guess the only thing left to do is get married,” I said, and the relief in his eyes nearly broke my heart all over again.
“Then I guess the only thing left to do is get married,” he echoed, wrapping me up in his arms, and me not wanting to be anywhere else in the world.