21. Luke #2
The words hit the fear I've been carrying—that asking for what I want means trapping people into choices they'll regret. But Mila's here, crying and holding onto me like I'm something precious, saying she loves me.
Maybe I'm allowed to want this. Allowed to fight for her instead of pushing her away.
"I don't want you to take that job if it means losing you.
" The admission is raw, vulnerable. "I know that's selfish and you should build your career and I'll support whatever you choose, but I can't—Mila, I can't pretend I'm okay with you leaving when you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. "
She kisses me before I can say anything else, desperate and salt-slick with tears. I kiss her back just as desperately, hands sliding into her hair to hold her close while a year of tension and fear and wanting break open between us.
"I don't want the job." She gasps the words against my mouth. "I only applied because I thought you wanted me gone. Thought if I stayed I'd just be pathetically clinging to someone who didn't want me back."
Relief hits so sharp it's painful. "I want you back. I want you here. Want you in my life however I can have you."
"Then have me." She pulls back just enough to meet my eyes, expression fierce through the tears. "Take me, Luke. Choose me back. Stop being so scared of wanting things and just?—"
I kiss her again, harder this time, swallowing whatever else she was going to say. She melts into me with a sound that's half-sob, half-relief, hands fisting in my shirt like she's afraid I'll disappear if she lets go.
We were both so scared. Both convinced we weren't enough for the other person that we nearly destroyed the best thing either of us had found.
"I love you," I murmur against her mouth. "I love you so fucking much."
"Say it again." Her voice breaks. "Please, I need?—"
"I love you, Mila. I'm in love with you. I want you to stay." I punctuate each sentence with kisses—her lips, her jaw, the freckles scattered across her cheekbones. "I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it."
She's crying again but kissing me back just as desperately, hands sliding under my shirt to trace the muscles of my back. "I love you too. I love you and I'm staying. I'm not taking that job and I'm unpacking all these boxes and I'm staying here with you."
The words are everything I've been too terrified to hope for.
I kiss her deeper, backing her toward the bedroom without breaking contact. She goes willingly, gasping when her back hits the doorframe and I press against her full-length.
"Luke—" My name is breathless, wanting. "I need?—"
"I know." I slide my hands down her sides, grip her hips. "I've got you."
She tugs at my shirt and I break the kiss just long enough to pull it over my head before diving back to claim her mouth. Her hands map my chest, fingers tracing scars and muscle with a hunger that makes heat pool low in my gut.
I walk her backward into the bedroom, barely registering the half-packed boxes scattered across her floor. She pulls off my hoodie—my hoodie that looks so perfect on her—and tosses it aside, leaving her in a thin tank top that does nothing to hide the curve of her breasts.
"You're so beautiful." I trace the line of her collarbone, down between her breasts, watching her chest rise and fall with rapid breaths. "So fucking perfect."
"Luke, please." She arches into my touch, eyes dark with want. "I need you. Need to feel you."
I strip off her tank top and the sight of her bare skin makes my mouth go dry. Freckles scatter across her shoulders, her chest, disappearing beneath the waistband of her leggings. I want to trace every single one with my tongue.
"I spent a year watching you." I kiss down her throat, tasting salt and vanilla. "So much time watching you with Sadie and trying not to imagine this."
"You were imagining this?" Her laugh is breathless.
"Every single day." I cup her breasts, thumbs brushing over nipples that tighten immediately. "Thought about bending you over my desk. Against the filing cabinets. On every flat surface in that office."
She whimpers, head falling back as I lower my mouth to take one nipple between my lips. "Why didn't you?"
"Because I'm an idiot who was too scared to want you properly." I switch to her other breast, sucking hard enough to make her gasp. "But I'm done being scared."
"Good." She fumbles with my belt, fingers shaking slightly. "Because I've been imagining this too. Every time you leaned over my shoulder to look at the computer. Every time your hands brushed mine. Every goddamn time you rolled up your sleeves and I could see your forearms."
The confession makes me groan. I help her with my belt, shoving my jeans down and kicking them aside. Her leggings follow quickly, leaving her in nothing but pale blue underwear that's already damp.
"Mila." I trace the edge of the fabric, watching her hips jerk at the touch. "Tell me what you want."
"You." The answer is immediate. "I want you inside me. Want to feel you lose control."
I hook my fingers in her underwear and pull them down slowly, revealing dark curls and slick heat. She's already wet, already ready, and the sight makes my cock throb.
"On the bed." My voice comes out rough with need. "Now."
She backs toward her bed—unmade, sheets tangled from restless sleep—and climbs on without breaking eye contact. The sight of her sprawled across rumpled blankets, thighs parting in invitation, is almost enough to undo me completely.
I shed my boxers and follow her down, covering her body with mine. She wraps her legs around my hips immediately, pulling me close enough that my cock slides through her wetness.
"I love you." I kiss her hard, letting her taste the desperation behind the words. "I love you and I'm sorry I made you doubt that."
"I love you too." She rocks against me, coating my length with her arousal. "Now stop apologizing and fuck me."
I reach between us to line myself up, then pause at her entrance. "Look at me."
Her eyes meet mine, hazel and bright and full of trust.
"I want you to know," I say quietly, seriously, even as my body screams to move. "This isn't just sex. This is me choosing you. This is me fighting for you. This is me saying I want forever if you'll give it to me."
Tears shine in her eyes again. "Forever sounds perfect."
I push inside slowly, watching her face as I fill her inch by inch. She's tight and hot and perfect, her body stretching to accommodate me like we were made to fit together.
"Luke—" My name breaks on a moan as I bottom out, buried completely inside her heat.
"I've got you." I kiss her temple, her cheek, her mouth. "Always. I've got you."
I start to move, long slow strokes that make her gasp and arch beneath me. Her hands grip my shoulders, nails digging into muscle as I set a rhythm that's more claiming than fucking.
"Harder." She rocks her hips to meet my thrusts. "Please, I need?—"
I give her what she wants, driving into her with enough force to make the bed shake. She cries out, head thrown back and throat exposed in a line I immediately want to mark.
"Is this what you want?" I lean down to bite her neck, sucking hard enough to leave a bruise. "Want me to fuck you like I own you?"
"Yes." The word is breathless, desperate. "Yes, Luke, please?—"
I hook one of her legs over my shoulder, changing the angle so I can drive deeper. She keens, back arching off the mattress as I hit something inside her that makes her whole body tighten.
"There." I do it again, watching her face contort with pleasure. "Right there, sweetheart. Let me feel you come."
"Not yet." She grips my forearms, nails biting deep. "Want you with me. Want to feel you lose control."
The image nearly undoes me—coming together, choosing each other in the most primal way possible. I reach between us to circle her clit with rough fingers, matching the rhythm of my thrusts.
"Luke—" She's close, I can feel it in the way her body tightens around me. "I'm—please?—"
"I know." I kiss her hard, swallowing her moans. "Come for me. Let me feel it."
She breaks with a cry that I capture in my mouth, her entire body convulsing around my cock. The sensation is overwhelming—her heat pulsing and gripping, pulling me deeper as she comes apart beneath me.
I follow her over the edge, groaning her name as I empty myself inside her. The orgasm tears through me, pleasure so intense it borders on pain, and all I can do is hold her close and let it consume us both.
We collapse together, tangled and gasping. I stay inside her, not ready to lose the connection, and she holds me tight like she feels the same.
"I love you," she whispers against my shoulder. "I love you so much."
"I love you too." I kiss her hair, her temple, anywhere I can reach. "And I'm never letting you go again."