22. Mags
22
MAGS
That would have to be the worst night of sleep I’ve ever had in my entire life–and that includes when Charlie was a baby with colic and barely napped.
A double bed is not big enough. Actually, I don’t think a California King would've been big enough to share with Red. Even a pillow wall, pajamas, and extra blankets weren’t able to keep us apart.
All night it was like I could feel him close to me.
When it was still dark out, I woke up feeling super warm and cozy. So much so, that I didn't think anything of it when I snuggled deeper into the blankets and the mattress, having never felt more comfortable in my entire life.
Except the blankets had a heartbeat steadily thumping against my chest and what I thought was my pillow was actually Red’s shoulder. But as much as I wanted to freak out about Red waking up and discovering me half-lying on him, I didn’t.
Instead, after taking stock of how I felt, I realized my heart felt full, my belly was fluttering, and for just a moment, I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the feeling of being in a man’s arms again. Because believe me, it had been a long time.
And that was the last thought I had before drifting back off to sleep again.
Now it’s morning and thankfully I’ve rolled away from the man who was the star of my dreams.
Not wanting to disturb him, I grab my e-reader and get back to reading Aster's book, not for the first time, I'm left wondering why the hero and heroine won't just talk to each other and admit their relationship has changed. Isn’t that apt .
Since that scene hits a bit too close to home, I put the book down and roll onto my back, staring up at the ceiling as a jumble of emotions swirl inside me.
Why haven’t I told Red that I have feelings for him? Because everything that happens to me when I’m close to him is telling me that we're not just best friends anymore. We're soulmates too.
The only sticking point is how does a friendship like ours turn into something more . How does it just change ?
A muffled snore captures my attention and I carefully roll onto my side to sneak a peek his way, a sigh escaping me when I lay eyes on him.
His face is relaxed with a small smile tugging at his lips. For a moment I wonder if he’s dreaming, maybe it's about the ranch or the mountain back home. Maybe it's just something that makes him happy. Maybe I want him to be dreaming about me… Whatever it is, I wish I could stay in this moment forever, seeing him be peaceful and unguarded without a worry in the world.
Then again, if I don’t get out of bed today, I won’t get to find out what the surprise is that he has planned.
Just as I’m about to stop being a creeper and get up, Red’s arm reaches out and hauls me into his side, his hand flexing and holding on tight.
My body melts against his. I can’t help but feel a flutter in my chest at how right it feels to be touching him, being held by him. Closing my eyes, I wish for a million and one more mornings just like this.
“Hmmm, darlin’,” I hear him murmur before he presses his lips to the top of my head.
I still and tilt my head up just in time to catch his eyes jump wide, his whole body going as stiff as a board when reality sinks in. That leaves the two of us lying there, face to face, bodies pressed as close as they can be with clothes on and it’s like time stands still.
Instead of freaking out—because we're way past that point now—I decide to own the situation, my lips tipping up as I slowly peel myself off of him and back over to my side of the bed.
"Sorry for turnin’ you into my human heat pack. I move a lot in my sleep. I must've gotten cold," I say, not telling him about my middle-of-the-night cuddle session either.
"Mmm, glad I could be of service," he replies, eyeing me suspiciously. "Not sure the pillow wall worked though."
I push up on one arm and look over onto the floor where the cushions appear to have been thrown during the night. “You might be right there.”
He sits up to lean against the headboard, his gaze following my line of sight to the floor before returning to me. "Can't say I'm complainin' though. There’re much worse things in the world than wakin' up with a beautiful woman in my arms. It's been a while, that's for sure."
I eye him curiously. “How long?”
He reads right through me if the smirk that appears is anything to go by. “Why’re you askin’, Mags?”
I shrug. “Just curious.”
His gaze warms and his lips twitch. “Curiosity killed the cat, you know.”
That earns him an eye roll but thankfully, there’s no awkwardness.
When he doesn’t answer straight away, I wonder if he doesn’t want to.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed and stand up, the creaking floorboards under my feet the only sound in the room. “It’s OK, Red. I shouldn’t have asked.”
"Why not? You can ask me anythin', Mags. But if you must know, it’s since Anna. There's been no one since her," he says softly.
That has my gaze snapping back to his. “What?” I whisper.
“There has been no one since her. Been no one else I wanted to share a bed with.”
“Oh,” I say. “I’m sorry, Red. I didn’t mean to?—"
“Mags?”
“Yeah?” I say, my cheeks burning hot.
“There’s been no one until you,” he replies.
My heart feels like it has doubled in size. “What?” I squeak.
“I’m sayin’ it was nice wakin’ up with you in my arms. Both durin’ the night and this mornin’. Was just worried about how you would feel about it…”
“I—" I stop and take a deep breath. Red is being open and honest with me, so I owe him the same in return. “I liked it too.” Then his words register. “Wait! You knew about the middle of the night?”
His lips twitch up on one side. “Oh yeah. Haven’t slept this well in years. Definitely haven't slept well at all on this trip. First, it was nerves about Wy leavin', then it was the bad couch at Pinky's. Now I'm thinkin’ we should've been sharin' a bed the whole time."
I open my mouth and slam it shut again, shaking my head at him in disbelief. Is this really happening?
“Now, I’ve got one more question for you. It’s very important, darlin’,” he says.
“OK…” I say, bracing myself for whatever is coming my way.
“What I want to know, is if you’re goin’ to just stand there watchin’ me or are you goin’ to put some coffee on for us. Because I may have gotten some good sleep but that doesn’t mean I can do without my mornin’ brew.”
“I’m not just standin’ here watchin’ you,” I reply haughtily, putting my hands on my hip and raising a brow. “But how ‘bout you tell me what my surprise is today and maybe then I’ll make us coffee.”
“You’re cute in the mornin’.”
My brows bunch together. “What? No, I'm not.”
"Yes, you are."
“Red, what are you?—?”
I’m still confused as all get out when he throws back the covers and stands up. “Don’t worry about the coffee. I’ll make us some cowboy brew and breakfast burritos to have on the way,” he says while I’m still stuck on the ‘cute’ part of the conversation.
“Are you ever goin’ to tell me where we’re goin’ today?”
That gets me a grin. “Eager, are we? Well, how about this? You’ve got twenty minutes to get ready. Then we’ve got about an hour’s drive ahead of us. Oh, and you’ll need hiking boots and a jacket.”
I stare at him, the longer I do it, the lighter and happier he becomes.
“Ugh. You know what I hate?” I growl as I walk toward the bathroom.
“Surprises?”
“That, and you smirkin’ at me.”
“Why?”
“Cause it’s cute too.”
He barks out a laugh, his whole body shaking with it. “That the best you got, darlin’?”
"Yep. Now let me get ready because I've only got nineteen minutes left now.” I grab the door handle, ready to shut him out.
“Mags?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re goin’ to love it, I promise,” he tells me.
“OK.” What he doesn’t know is that I already knew I’d love whatever it is because I’d be doin’ it with him.
This time it’s Red who’s taken aback. ”OK? Just like that?”
“Yep. Now, back to this coffee?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m on it.”
That's when I grin at him. “Good. Chop, chop. You think I’m cute now, you don’t want to see me without caffeine.”
Red smiles now, his eyes crinkling with it. “Darlin’, you think I don’t already know that? You’re hell on wheels without your mornin’ fix. Now get movin’, you’ve only got eighteen minutes now.”
A little growl escapes me before I quickly shut the bathroom door and rest my back on it. But I do it smiling at the sound of his laughter as he walks away.
Twenty five minutes later, we’re in the truck and I’m still stuck on him calling me cute and how much I like him thinking that. Who am I? Has this Call made me soft and gooey?
“I like you soft and gooey,” Red says from the driver’s seat.
“What?”
"You muttered somethin' about bein’ soft and gooey. I'm sayin' that I like it. You don't have to be anythin' other than yourself with me, you know that," he adds. There’s a twinkle in his eyes that makes my heart somersault.
Feeling my cheeks heat, I turn to look out the window, pretending to be interested in the scenery passing by. The truth is, I've never felt so seen and accepted by someone before. It's like Red can read me like a book, even the parts I keep hidden from everyone else. If it was anyone else, I’d feel uncomfortable. But with him, I like it… a lot.
There’s not another man on earth that knows me like he does or has ever made me feel this way. Then there’s the way I’ve felt on this trip with him–the buzzing under my skin, the tingles when we touch, the constant blushing and giddy feeling deep inside, and the way my heart seems to go haywire whenever I’m near him. It’s taken the mountain spirit and the universe to make me see that what and who I want is right in front of me.
And dammit, life is too short to waste a second–or in my case, fourth–chance at love. They say third time’s the charm, well maybe I’m ready to prove that there’s no limit.
The sun sits high in the sky over the mountains as we drive further into the rugged countryside. I crack the window open, the crisp clean air carrying the scent of pine and earth into the cab of the truck. I keep looking for signs to tell me where he’s taking me but eventually I can’t stop myself from asking him again.
"Do I finally get to know where we're goin’ now?"
He chuckles. “Yeah, darlin’. I think you’ve waited long enough.”
Flicking the indicator, he turns into a road with a big white sign that says 'Glacier Park Access.'
I gasp, my eyes jumping wide as I turn to him and bounce in my seat like a kid at Christmas. “We’re goin’ to see a glacier ?”
Glaciers are something I’ve only ever seen in pictures or on the TV. I’ve always wanted to see one up close but I never told anyone… except Anna . There’s no way Red could’ve known that though.
“Yep, we’re goin’ to see a real-life glacier. Thought you might like it,” he replies with a grin.
I can’t contain my excitement. “This is amazin’, Red. Seriously. You’ve outdone yourself.”
“It’s a good surprise then?”
“The best! Thank you.”
“I wanted to do somethin’ special together,” he says. “This trip is passin’ by so quickly and I know we’re doin’ the rodeo for me, but I think it’s important we do stuff for us too. Like when you took me on that hike after Wy left. This is me repayin’ the favor.”
As we get closer to the park entrance, the scenery transforms into a snow-covered landscape with towering mountains all around us and a crystal-clear stream trailing next to the road.
When we arrive at the designated parking area, Red hops out of the truck and comes around to my door, opening it for me. I step out onto the snow-covered ground, the cold seeping through my boots but I’m too excited to care. Now I know why he told me to bring a jacket.
"You ready to go on an adventure with me?" Red asks, extending his hand toward me.
I take it without hesitation, our fingers intertwining naturally as we make our way to the big white building where the tour office is housed.
After signing release forms and gearing up, our group of ten people meet the tour guide outside before stopping to put on our rented snowshoes and moving toward the starting point of the glacier trail.
As we begin our trek, the air is filled with the crunch of snow under our feet and the sounds of the wilderness around us.
Red walks next to me, never leaving my side. I can’t help but steal glances at him when I think he’s not looking, admiring the rugged lines of his face, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles, and the strength in his every step.
Now and then, he reaches out to offer me a hand whenever we come to a tricky spot on the trail. Every touch has my heart soaring, and now that I've decided to lean into the changing landscape of our friendship—relationship—whatever the future holds for us, there’s no denying the anticipation building up inside of me.
Up ahead, the glacier looms large, the ice glistening in the scattered sunlight even though there’s snow all around us. The sheer size and beauty of it all is breathtaking.
Getting closer, the tour guide begins to explain its formation and history, but my attention is solely on Red. Glacier, what glacier. We’re then invited to explore the area and take photos but are firmly reminded to ‘only leave footprints’ wherever we go.
Red looks over at me, his eyes bright. “Are you ready to get up close and personal with this beauty?”
“Yeah…” My voice is gentle and wispy, but it’s undetermined whether it’s because of him or the altitude. Maybe it’s a little bit of both.
His deepening dimples leave me a little dazed but thankfully I get a reprieve when Red leads the way, finding us a spot away from the rest of the group.
"God knew what he was doin' when he made this place.” There’s no missing my awe.
“It’s unreal, that’s for sure,” he says, looking out over the huge frozen river of ice. “Did you bring your camera, darlin’? We need to memorialize this moment right here, the two of us surrounded by nature’s beauty.”
Letting go of his hand for a moment, I swing my backpack around to the front of my body and reach inside to grab my camera before handing it over to him. I eye him up and down, earning an amused quirked brow.
“What are you doin’ ?” he asks with a laugh.
“Checkin’ you out. You’ve got longer arms than me. They’re perfect for selfies.”
His lips quirk up. “Glad you’ve noticed. I was beginnin’ to think these selfie arms weren’t bein’ appreciated.” To prove his point, he lifts said arm and flexes.
Giggling, I shake my head. “Let’s just take a photo already before I decide to push you into that pile of snow over there for being ridiculous.”
“Hmm,” he says, rubbing his chin and running his gaze down to my boots and snowshoes before slowly lifting them back to my face. “If you push me, Margaret , I’ll take you with me. Remember that.”
I purse my lips to bite back a smile before Red holds his arm out for me to get in close. Then, he lifts the camera in the air as far as he can go. “Say cheeessseee ,” he says before snapping photo after photo of the two of us. First, I’m laughing, then smiling, then the last one has Red and I looking at each other, my breath hitching at the raw emotion in his gaze.
Before my brain has reengaged and I have had a chance to get my body under control, Red brings the camera back in close again and starts to flips through the images he just took.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs. I look from the display screen on the camera back up to Red, meeting a soft hooded gaze that sends those butterflies fluttering inside of me. You’d think I’d be getting used to that feeling, but it still catches me by surprise every single time.
He nods to the camera again. “Look at us, Mags.”
When I do, my lips part with a silent gasp. Because while I was smiling at the camera, Red was staring at me with a look on his face that I know I’ll never ever forget–adoration, desire… love …
“Red…” I whisper as I meet his eyes.
Breathing is all but forgotten as he hooks the camera strap over his shoulder without watching what he’s doing, all of his attention on me like he can’t tear himself away. Without realizing what I’m doing, I lean in close, the pull between us so great there’s no fighting it even if I wanted to.
I stop thinking altogether when his hands frame my cheeks, his gloves soft against my skin but incomparable to the warm expression on his face.
“I can’t hold back anymore, Maggie. I can’t hold this in. But more than that, I don’t want to anymore. Please tell me you feel this between us too,” he whispers. “Tell me I’m not crazy.”
I shake my head. “I feel it.”
Leaning down, he touches his forehead to mine. He’s all I can see, and if I thought the glacier was beautiful, it's got nothing on this man.
“Kiss me, Mags. I need to know I’m not dreamin’. That you’re my One and I’m–”
I kiss him, unable to wait a second longer and not wanting to either. I tilt my head and brush my lips against his once, then again, the next time I do it, his fingertips flex against my skin as he holds me in place so he can claim my mouth, capturing every unspoken word and emotion swirling between us.
The world falls away and it’s just me and him and the soft brush of our lips as we share the most perfect kiss of my life.
When we finally pull back, a mewl escapes me, my lips tingling as I lose myself in his molten gaze. His thumb gently traces my cheekbone, the touch setting my skin ablaze, stoking my burning desire to do more than would be appropriate on a glacier in the mountains with an audience, no less.
Standing there in his arms, staring in the eyes of the man I know is my soulmate–my One–I feel alive, I feel free, I feel like I’m ten feet tall and bulletproof.
"I've wanted to do that for so long, Maggie.” His voice is a husky whisper that sends shivers down my spine. "I can’t waste another moment not bein’ with you. I don’t want to. It took long enough to see what was right in front of me the whole damn time.” I smile at that. “You’re my One, the mountain’s choice for me.”
"You're mine too, Red. I'm startin' to think you have been for a while now."
He brushes his lips against mine again, and when he pulls away this time, I chase him, not wanting to stop. With a chuckle, he wraps his arms around my shoulders. I melt into his chest, resting my cheek right over his thrumming pulse.
"Your heart is beatin' so fast," I say quietly.
“Been doin’ that the whole trip. Now I know it was just my body tellin’ my brain to catch up and not that I’m overdue for my physical.”
I straighten and lift my eyes to his. “And now that we know?”
“I ain’t ever lettin’ you go. You and me, this is it. Lines crossed, walls down, just us. You OK with that?”
I lift on my toes and kiss him, gripping his shoulders and holding on as I lean into the warmth and safety of his arms. I can feel the truth behind his words in the way his hands tremble slightly against my back and how his heartbeat matches the rapid rhythm of my own.
When we finally come up for air, the slow-growing smile that curves his lips is another boon that I commit to memory.
“Yeah, you’re OK with that,” he says roughly.
“I’d be even more OK if we could get off this glacier and go back to our cabin right now,” I whisper for his ears only.
Red nods, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “Seems like the Call makes us think alike too, darlin’. Let’s go see if we can make that happen.”
We link hands again and walk back toward the tour group, but this time my mind is far away from the gorgeous glacier, and going by the determined look on Red’s face, I’m not the only one.