26. Mags
26
MAGS
I’m reading my book on the couch, comfortably cradled in Red’s arms when my phone chimes with a text message.
Charlie: Can you talk?
Mags: What? No Hi, Mom. How are you?
Charlie: Hi, Mom. How are you?
Mags: I’m fantastic, Charlie Bear. How are you?
She doesn’t reply straight away, which makes me wonder if she can somehow read my happiness through the phone. While I wait, I return to my book, turning the page after the ‘couple’ have just declared their love for one another and made love, completing the mountain’s Call.
Except the next page is empty, and since I know the story– our story–isn’t finished, I scroll onto the next page to find a note from Aster.
Mags,
I know you were expecting to read your own happily ever after, but this time I think it’s better if you find out for yourself as it happens.
What I want you to know is that Anna may have not been long for this earth, but her legacy and footprint on the world will never be forgotten.
But it’s time for you to do something that you’ve put off for too long now. You may think you don’t have the courage, but she knew–and I know–that you do.
So, in short, open the letter she wrote for you. Take her words to heart and put them into action. It’s what she has always wanted, after all.
And I hear you asking how do I know? That’s something I’m sure you’ll work out. Just know that everything happens for a reason.
Love, Aster H.
I stare at the words, my heart punching my chest like a battering ram.
Open the letter.
It’s then that Char replies, her messages coming through in rapid succession.
Charlie: MOM!! Does this mean you and Red finally got it together?!?
Charlie: This is GREAT
Charlie: I'm so happy for you! Jeez, I'm actually crying!
Just imagining my sweet girl tearing up has me blinking a little faster.
“Hey. What’s wrong?” Red asks from behind me where I lean against him, my chest to his back, one of his arms wrapped tight around my waist while he reads an old murder mystery book he found on the one and only shelf in the cabin.
I turn my head toward him. “Nothin’.”
He presses a hand to my cheek, his thumb sweeping across the skin and wiping a rogue tear away. “Darlin’...”
“Char’s happy for us.”
His answering smile is soft and gentle. “Not as happy as I am.”
“Stop bein’ sweet.”
He leans in and brushes his lips over mine. “Never goin’ to happen so you better get used to it.”
Charlie: MOM!
Mags: Yes, we’re together. He proposed this morning too.
Charlie: WHAT!?! This is the best news. Can I tell the others?
Red chuckles, his arm around my waist tightening as he gives me a loving squeeze. “Don’t think we’ll need to make an announcement. Looks like Char’s goin’ to do it for us.”
“Is that OK?”
“You even have to ask? I want the whole world to know you’re mine, Mags. As soon as we’re not snowed in, I’m puttin’ a ring on your finger that’s so big, astronauts in space can see it.”
I giggle, turning on my side and resting my head against his chest. “Don’t think we need to go that big.”
“OK,” he murmurs, kissing the top of my head. “Just know I’m willin’ to do it. This is it for me and you, darlin’, and I don’t care who knows it.”
Tilting my eyes up to his, I smile. “I love you.”
“Love you too,” he rumbles before nodding to the phone in my hand. “Better answer her before she starts blowin’ up your phone again.”
“You’re probably right about that,” I snicker before replying to Char.
Mags: Yes.
Charlie: Just you wait. As soon as you get home we’re throwing a big party for y’all at the Cow. I’m so happy for you, Mom.
Mags: Not as happy as I am.
Charlie: And that makes it even better.
Mags: Any news from home?
Charlie: No. Everything’s fine. But I wanted to ask, did you move the letter?
My heart leaps into my throat. What are the chances that I’m thinking of the letter and now my daughter is asking about it? I hadn’t forgotten about it–I never could–but I had compartmentalized it, not wanting to think about it or what it might say. Then Red and I became Red and I and somehow I’d blocked it out of my mind until now.
Anna and I had talked many times about wanting each other to look after the other’s loved ones if anything ever happened to one of us. Knowing her the way that I did, I know that she'd want Red to be happy and that she'd want him to have the best life, even if that means he and I do that together. But how do I bring myself to read the letter and her final words to me?
Mags: No. I didn’t touch it.
Charlie: It was between recipe books stacked on top of the refrigerator, right?
Mags: Yeah…
Charlie: It’s not there anymore. I was cooking Austin dinner last night and knew it was up there, so I looked for it to make sure it didn’t get lost and it’s not there. We looked everywhere, even behind the refrigerator.
I frown at my phone.
Mags: Where has it gone?
Charlie: I don’t know, Mom. I’m sorry. Are you sure you didn’t take it with you or put it away again?
Mags: I haven’t touched it since that day in the kitchen.
Charlie: Hmm. Well, I'll keep looking for it. I just thought you should know…
Mags: Hopefully it’ll turn up. I want to open it with Red. It’s time.
Charlie: It’s definitely time. I’m sure we’ll find it. Austin even thought Doofus the Duck might’ve stolen it back again.
Normally that would make me laugh. Right now, I can’t think about anything other than the letter.
Mags: Thanks, Charlie Bear.
Charlie: How’s the storm? Rhett and Austin were checking the weather reports since they’re leaving today to meet you two in Palmer.
Mags: We’re snowed in but safe. Red says we’ll still make it to the rodeo on Friday.
Charlie: Then you’ll be home. I know we used to go years between visits, but I’ve gotten used to having you around. The house seems empty without you.
Mags: Hmm. I guess I’ll have to decide what to do with the house.
Charlie: We can move in until our cabin on the ranch is built, then you could rent it out. At least we’ll still be close.
Mags: Wouldn’t want it any other way. Love you, Charlie Bear.
Charlie: Love you too. Say hi to Red for me and tell him I said about time!
Mags: Will do. See you on when we get back.
Charlie: Can’t wait. Bye.
“Everythin’ OK back home?” Red asks.
“Yeah,” I say distractedly. Why didn’t I just read the damn letter months ago? Years ago? “She told me to tell you it’s about time.” Or was she telling me that?
He closes his book and puts it down on the floor next to the couch before turning me in his arms so I'm lying on my back and he's covering me. "Can't say she's wrong," he replies with a small smirk, “but I guess that just means we've got a hell of a lot of catchin' up to do."
He gives me more of his weight and suddenly my mind is wiped clean of anything except him and me and wondering whether his idea of 'catchin' up' is the same as mine. Lucky for me, as soon as his lips touch mine, I don’t have to wonder again.
Unfortunately, the shower in the cabin is not big enough for two–hell, it's barely big enough for Red–so after letting me go first, he kisses me and disappears into the bathroom.
I move to my open duffel, grab a pair of underwear, and slide them on before doing the same with my bra. Shivering, I wrap myself back up in my towel and bend down to find warm clothes to put on, except when I rummage through my bag my fingers catch on something that feels a lot like paper.
Running my fingers over it again, my chest seizes in my chest, my heart stutters so much it feels like it’s stopped when I pull the item out. My suspicions are confirmed when I see my name written in Anna’s unique penmanship on the same missing envelope from home.
Staggering backward, I take a seat on the edge of the bed and stare at the letter in my hand. My body feels frozen in a way that has nothing to do with the temperature, my mind stuck on the fact that it’s her e instead of back home but also how it ended up in my bag.
That's how Red finds me when the bathroom door swings open minutes later, and he strolls out with a towel slung low around his hips. His relaxed expression changes to one of concern as soon as I meet his eyes.
His gaze goes to the letter in my hand before snapping back to my face.
“Mags?”
“I don’t… I just found it here. It’s meant to be at home in between the cookbooks,” I say nonsensically.
Standing over me, he leans in, and I hear his breath catch. "Is that Anna's handwritin’?"
My heart pounds in my chest, my mouth dry from fear and anticipation. I nod, unable to speak and too scared to lift my head.
Red carefully takes the envelope from my hand, examining it before his index finger goes under my chin and presses up so that our eyes can meet.
“What is this, darlin’?” he says softly, his face unreadable.
I swallow, my voice barely audible. "I... It's not supposed to be here,” I ramble. “I've had it for years but didn't have the courage to open it. Now it's like the universe is tellin' me it's time."
Red’s brow furrows deeper as he takes a seat on the bed next to me. “Years?”
Despite turning my body toward him, I can’t tear my eyes away from the letter. “It came in the mail after she passed. I wasn’t in a place to handle whatever it might say, so I put it away safely, knowin’ I’d open it one day.”
“OK…” he says quietly, still sounding confused.
“Months ago, that damn duck of yours turned up at Char and Austin’s door with the envelope in its beak, and they gave it back to me and it’s been sittin’ in my kitchen ever since.”
He falls silent and so do I.
“Are you… do you want me to open it? I know it’s private and she meant it for you, but if you want me to read it for you, or just be here while you do it, I can do that for you.” He rests his hand on my thigh, his touch soft and soothing, warm and comforting.
My eyes snap up to his. “You’re not mad?”
His body jerks. "Darlin', Anna was my wife but she was also your best friend, your soulmate as much as mine. On our first date, she told me in no uncertain terms that I had to accept you as our third wheel in life because otherwise, I'd be out the door and down the road." An unexpected smile curves his lips, his gaze softening as it roams over my face. "You been worried about this, haven’t you?”
“Wouldn’t you be? I’ve kept this hidden from you for years , Red. You’re right, she was my best friend, but she was your wife . One that was tragically taken from you, cutting your life together so much shorter than it should’ve been. She was meant to be by your side till the very end, not leavin’ you and Wy well before her time.”
He nods, but because he’s the man he is, he gives me his full attention. All of his worry and concern is for me , not for himself or whatever Anna had to say to me. Shifting further onto the bed, he pulls me between his legs so that we’re facing each other, all the while I keep the letter clasped tightly in my hand.
Cupping my face, he holds my gaze, commanding me to listen.
“I loved her with my whole bein’, and I know she doesn’t have a place between us, but–”
“She is between us though,” I say, hurrying to talk again when his frown returns. “I don’t mean in a bad way, not at all. I mean she’s always goin’ to be there. She was a huge part of our lives, and I wouldn’t ever want her to be forgotten or not talked about. She was both our soulmates, mine in friendship and yours in love. And now–”
“Now she’s what has brought us together. Whatever she wanted to say to you will not change what you and I have. Nothin’ will. You need to know that, and I need to know you believe that before you read it." His voice is so strong and sure that he leaves absolutely no room for doubt. “I love you, Mags. I want to spend the rest of my life with you . Whatever Anna said to you in that letter will not change that.” I nod, words escaping me at the conviction in his voice. “But if you want to read it together or if you need me to give you time to do it by yourself, that’s OK .”
I stare deep into his eyes, feeling the strength and courage I’ve been missing until now. “I want you here,” I whisper and I see just how much he wants that by the way his whole body softens around me.
“OK, darlin’. I can do that.”
With a slow fortifying breath, I turn the crinkled envelope over and ease my finger under the flap before pulling out the folded letter inside. My hands shake slightly, but Red smooths his palm up and down my arm, silently reminding me that I’m not alone.
Closing my eyes, I brace myself for whatever Anna might say before opening them again and do what I’ve been putting off for way too long.
Maggie ,
If you’re reading this, it means that my name was called and I’ve passed.
You might be wondering why I’d write a letter to be sent to you in the event of my death, but since you know me almost better than I know myself, you know why.
The day I met you, my life was never the same. They say that when you meet your soulmate, you know the minute you lay eyes on them. That is what happened with you. I just knew I'd met my best friend for life.
You got me, you understood me, and I thought you were the coolest girl I'd ever met. With you by my side, I knew that life would never be boring, it would never stall, and that we'd have far too many adventures to talk about, let alone write down.
When I met Red, I told him that he had to accept you as our third wheel in life because you were always going to be an important part of my life just as I would be in yours.
My wide wet eyes snap up to meet Red’s to find his brow arched. “See. I told you she said that.”
A startled snort escapes me before I turn back to the letter.
Which brings me to what I want to say to you.
If I’m gone, my sole wish is for you to love him like I loved him. Actually, no. I want you to love him more than I loved him. I want you to help him raise Wy and mold our son into the man he was always meant to be. A good, honest, loyal man like Red.
I don’t want my husband to live out his life alone, giving everything he has for others and sacrificing his own happiness because of it. Because you and I both know that is exactly what he will do without you.
That is why I want you to love him. I want him to be the most important person in the world to you other than Char, because having been one of the blessed few in your life that you cherished, there’s no better feeling in the world. Your heart, your soul, everything that makes you the woman you are, is beyond compare, and you are the only one I would wish for him if I can’t be there.
So this is what I ask of you–Love him, Mags. Love him in the way only you can. Fully, completely, with every part of your being. That is what I want more than anything else in the world and it may be selfish of me to ask this of you, but if I ever had a dying wish, it was for the two of you to find each other just like I found you and he found me.
Love, Anna
Tears flow freely down my cheeks now and I feel Red’s body trembling against mine. But I don’t dare look up at him because I know if I do, I’ll crumble completely. And I owe it to Anna, to me, and to him, to finish the letter.
P.S. I know you’ve probably put this letter off for a lifetime and then some, but if you’re reading this, I want you to know that my life was all the better for having you in it. I can’t wait for us to don our cowboy hats, boots, and short denim skirts and boot scoot our way into our next life together.
Until then, I’ll be watching over all of you and making sure that if you haven’t read this, that I bring you and Red together anyway. You of all people know how much I loved a love story.
A gasp escapes me as I reread her last words and suddenly, everything snaps together.
‘Making sure that I bring you and Red together anyway.’
‘You know I always loved a good love story.’
“Darlin’?” Red whispers, his voice thick with emotion.
I drop the letter onto the bed next to us and lift my eyes to his handsome face. My soulmate. The soulmate of my soulmate who has done everything in her power to make sure we’re together. “It’s her,” I say softly.
His brows pinch together. “What?”
“Either I’m crazy—and that’s not beyond the realms of possibility—or it’s her.”
Red’s forehead scrunches in confusion. “I’m not followin’ you.”
“The mountain spirit. The one at Bull bringing soulmates to everyone, rewarding them, it’s her. It’s Anna.”
His body goes completely still and I stop breathing, watching the shock and surprise in his eyes morph into awe and wonder.
“No way…”
I nod, looping my arms around his neck and leaning in so our foreheads touch.
“She’s been watchin’ over us all the whole time,” he murmurs, his voice a soft whisper. “Making sure we found each other in the same way she found us.”
It’s an overwhelming thought, but also deeply comforting.
Red pulls me closer, his gaze never leaving mine as he brings our mouths together, our kiss full of meaning and feeling—full of love.
“I can’t wait to start our lives together, darlin’. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He smiles against my lips. “And she loved us enough to give us to each other. That’s a gift I’ll never forget.”
Me either.