Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
T he rumbling from driving over the Texas gate woke Josie up. “Mama, where’s we?” Her little voice still sounded sleepy and I smiled. I loved the moments with her when she just woke up and she wanted to cuddle.
“We’re home baby.” Or at least I hoped we were. Surely my family wouldn’t throw me out. The drive up the lane seemed like it took longer than our entire drive. Every foot I drove closer to the house, an ache I’d pushed away opened again. I’d missed this view, missed this place, and the people here. I was sad the blizzard was obscuring the view of the house. Even on a clear night, you could see the lights on top of the hill.
Pulling to a stop, I took a deep breath and finally gave in to the cramps in my stomach and groaned. “Momma, okay? ”
“Yep sweetie, I’m good. Let’s get to the house and Grandma Julie can take care of us.” I opened the door and fought against the wind as I got out of the car. Josie climbed into my arms and I trudged through the snow to the porch. I slammed my fist against the door and waited. Leaning up against the wall, I breathed through another set of contractions before the screen flew open, slapping against the opposite wall.
I’d expected Mom, or Kipp, but Nash stood staring at me, his mouth open like he was going to say something, but the wind took his words away.
“Got a room?” I smiled and laughed.
“Fallon,” Nash said, stunned. A woman appeared beside him and pushed him out of the way. Was this his wife? Had he married?
Of course he is. You were gone for five years. You got married, why wouldn’t he?
She was pretty, and judging from the slight fullness in her abdomen, she was carrying his child.
Oh god why did I come back here?
“Oh my fuck, get in here.” The woman pulled me and Josie into the house and began to help take Josie’s coat off.
“You’re lucky Cooper’s gone.” Nash mumbled. Who was Cooper and why was it a good thing he was gone? Was that their other kid? He would have her popping them out because he was insatiable. The thought made me feel queasier than I already was. “What are you doing here, Fallon?” Nash questioned me .
“Can’t I come home?” I spat at him. Who the hell was he to question if I walked back through these doors? This was my home, not his. He had no right.
“Of course you can. How old is this little one?” The woman with dark hair cut between us, frowning up at Nash as she did. Her eyes moved from Nash to me and the sweet persona broke for just a second when she saw my face. It was only for a moment, but I knew that look.
Pity.
I hated pity and I sure as hell didn’t want it from anyone, never mind Nash’s wife. Glancing up at Nash, I saw anger flash through his eyes and he clenched his fists so tightly his knuckles were white.
“She’s two.” It was over. I was safe, and I slumped against the wall and gripped my stomach as another contraction tore through me. Nash’s eyes widened, and in two giant steps he reached me, scooped me up effortlessly, and carried me across the threshold while his wife held the door open for us.
Had he done the same for her on their wedding night?
Even though they shouldn’t have, his arms around me felt more like coming home than coming through that door had. I let my head fall onto his shoulder, taking in his scent as I did, tears welling in the corner of my eyes. Only it wasn’t sadness, it was relief.
No one else smells like Nash did. It was never something I could put my finger on. He just had his own smell that made him who he was. I held my breath as another spasm rocketed through me, and I stiffened in his arms, which made him hold me tighter as he walked down the hall to the room I’d spent my childhood in. It looked exactly the same as the day I’d walked out of it.
“So I bet you have lots of questions, but we’ll get to those.” Her eyes flit to the man who’d held my heart for so many years. Let’s be honest, he still held it, even though he had no idea. “Nash, call Doc Gordon and take a shot of whiskey while you’re out there. You look like you’re going to faint.” I held in a giggle as I looked at the man standing beside my bed. If nothing else, he’d picked well with this one. He was indeed as white as a sheet on a hotel bed. He nodded, turned, and was gone. Some part of me wished he was back beside me.
“Who are you?” I asked with a sigh as I rest my head on the pillow.
“I’m Nora, your soon to be sister-in-law.”
My head shot back up. “Nash isn’t my brother.”
“No, but Kipp sure is.” She smiled when she said it.
Relief rolled through me as I realized she wasn’t married to Nash, but it raised even more questions.
“You’re marrying my brother? How’d you manage to get Kipp to consider marriage?” A chuckle escaped from me and I was sure it was from exhaustion and the fact I was in active labor in the middle of nowhere.
“Well, that’s complicated and a long story, and you look like you need as much rest as you can get.” Her eyes fell too my stomach.
“I could use the distraction.”
“I guess neither of us are going anywhere so we’ve got time for a story..” She sat on the edge of my bed and told me the story of how she and Kipp met, and fell in love.
Propping myself up on my elbows took less effort than I’d imagined. “No, wait, are you telling me my brother’s a dad?” She grinned and nodded. Her eyes sparkled and her face lit up every time his name was mentioned. This woman was gone for that man. I remembered that feeling. It hadn’t lasted for me, though. “I bet he’s the best dad ever.” I whispered as I laid back down on the bed.
Nora patted my leg and smiled. “He is, but I think that has more to do with the man that raised you four. He’s constantly trying to live up to Miller. Sorry, your dad.” Tears filled my eyes. It was too much. Being back here, having a baby and hearing someone compare Kipp to my dad.
“Kipp is so much like my dad.” So much so, it hurt for me to see him. How could I tell him that? How could I tell him that something he had no control over played a role in me leaving? “Every time I looked at Kipp I saw Dad and my heart was ripped out all over again.” Nora moved and wrapped her arms around me. I clung to her like I’d known her all my life. She ran her hand down my hair, smoothing it out, not saying a word. Not telling me it’s ok, not shushing me, she just let me cry. It wasn’t just for Dad, it was for me, for Josie, this baby, and the marriage that ended.
“Where’s Josie?” I questioned. I knew she’d be safe here, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of needing her right beside me.
“She’s in the kitchen with Nash.” Nora smiled. That eased my mind a little, but what if he noticed? I wiped at my cheeks, but my tears continued to fall.
My tears stopped after what seemed like hours and I laid back on the pillow.
Nora rose from the bed. “I’m going to get a few things. I want you to sleep. If we have to do this here, you’re going to need all the strength you’ve got.” She smiled sweetly and quietly walked out of the room.
I could hear her chatting with Josie. Their conversation was just murmurs, but I smiled, knowing that Josie was safe, and already surrounded by people that loved her.
I didn’t know how long I was asleep, but I’d heard the door open and heavy footsteps crossed the floor.
“Fallon,” Kipp’s low voice sounded from my bedside.
I opened my eyes to look up at him, my stomach clenching as I did. He looked even more like our father than he did when I’d left. “Hi, I hope you don’t mind. I'm home, with some extra baggage.” He dropped to his knees.
His brows furrowed as he looked at me and I watched the muscle in his jaw flex as he was fighting the anger I could feel radiate off him. He pulled his hand away and his knuckles were white from how tightly he clenched his fists.
“You could have come home with a hundred of them and I wouldn’t have cared. I can’t believe you’re here.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly to him. The smell was familiar and tears flowed again. Manure, pine, and hay. He even smelled just like Dad. His strong arms held me tightly. “I’m sorry I didn’t keep you safe. I’m so sorry. It will never happen again. I want to know his name. You know I don’t need you to tell me. I will find out.”
He’d let me cry after broken hearts, when he’d had to put down my horse because she’d broken her leg after Dad, but he’d never cried. Here, now in this moment, I watched as my tough as nails big brother fought to gain control of his temper and the desire to harm the man who’d hurt me.
“He’s not worth it, Kipp. I know he can’t hurt me now that I’m home. He won’t show up here and even if he does, he won’t make it past the gate. You five will have him stopped before he gets to me.”
“You’re never leaving again, understand?”
He sighed and hugged me tighter. “Want me to call Mom?”
“Yeah.” I squeaked out, my nose burning again while more tears threatened to fall.
After all these years, would she be happy to see me? Be angry with me for leaving and all the secrets I was bringing home with me?
I had too much baggage. I should have stayed gone, or gone to wherever my sisters had ended up.
My heart ached with the need to see my mom. I hadn’t stopped long enough to thing about it over the last five years but I missed her smile, her gentleness, and her love. Whatever her reaction to me coming home will be, I’m going to have to deal with it later.