Chapter 10
Becks was standing so close to the door when Ranger entered that the lock stile almost clipped her nose. Ranger jumped back, his hand going to his chest.
“Jesus, Becks! What the hell!”
She remained exactly where she was, hands on her hips, glower on her face. “You broke curfew, Liam. Where have you been?”
Ranger slowly entered the house, carefully sidestepping his little sister. She didn’t even budge as the front door once again passed right by her face as he closed it. Glancing around, he noticed Ghost leaning casually against the kitchen doorframe with a mug up to his mouth.
“Don’t look at me,” Ghost said dryly. “She’s so pissed that she practiced where to stand so the door didn’t hit her when you finally came in. Even put spike tape on the floor,” he added with amusement.
Both siblings narrowed their eyes on the ginger.
“You knew where I was. Why didn’t you tell her to keep her from worrying?” Ranger demanded.
“I did,” Ghost informed him, straightening off the doorframe.
“This is the result you get for not telling her yourself where you were.” Approaching his still pissed off wife, Ghost bent and kissed Becks’ lips.
“Come upstairs when you’re done tearing him a new asshole,” he told her sweetly.
To Ranger, he warned in an unyielding voice, “If she sheds a single tear, I will pluck every eyebrow hair from your head and listen with glee to her laughter as she looks at her eyebrow-less brother.”
“She’s pregnant!” Ranger reminded the man as he started up the stairs. “She literally cried for thirty minutes the other day because we ran out of orange juice!”
“Yup,” Ghost said without pausing his hike up the stairs.
“Asshole!” Ranger shouted. Thankfully, his mom slept like the dead and their noises wouldn’t disturb her. Andrew, the man Ranger and Becks both thought of as their father, used to say that she’d survive the zombie apocalypse because she’d sleep right through it.
Ghost reached the landing, continuing nonchalantly to his and Becks’ bedroom. “Yup.”
Ranger stared up the stairs for several minutes before he worked up the courage to turn and face his sister. She still stood exactly how she’d been, but now she was facing him instead of the door.
“I’m fine, little sis.” He opened his arms as if to show her, but it wasn’t like there was a universally obvious display to show whether he was high or not. His skin didn’t turn blue or his hair orange. Glassy or bloodshot eyes was a good way, but it wasn’t foolproof.
“You weren’t on a tow,” she snapped, sounding far too much like their mother. “The rule is you are back here by nine if you’re not on a tow.”
The other exception was if he was with Cross, the assumption being that their meeting ran over and they would still be traveling back to Mount Grove. But Ranger wasn’t going to nitpick her argument.
“I know,” he acknowledged. “I was with a friend.”
‘Friend’ seemed too casual a term for Toni, but ‘girlfriend’ also seemed premature.
There was still a lot that they had to discuss, and as right as it felt being with her, Toni was correct that his sobriety had to take precedence over a relationship.
It was why they’d left their long conversation with the promise that they would both think about what they wanted and what they felt was right for them to move forward.
If Toni still wanted to be with him in the morning, he would come get her before she went to work to meet Becks and his mom so they would feel more comfortable about Ranger spending time with her.
Becks was going to need to come to terms with the fact that there was going to need to be some changes to the rules set in place for Ranger.
“Oh, Ghost told me all about your ‘friend’.” If it was anyone other than his sister, he would have called her tone of voice a sneer. “Liam, you just got out of rehab. What are you thinking getting involved with someone right now? You need to be concentrating on your sobriety.”
“I am concentrating on my sobriety! It’s all I am concentrating on, B!
Every hour of every day, it’s there.” Ranger tried to keep the frustration out of his voice.
“But I also have to live my life. I’m an addict.
I will always be an addict. I have to learn how to be an addict and still be me, and Toni makes me feel like me again. ”
“Isn’t that dangerous, though? You can’t be the old you.” Becks’ anger immediately shifted into worry. “The old you,” she sniffled, “went out and bought heroin off the streets.” Her chin quivered. “And you can’t do that again…” She sniffed. “You can’t, Liam?—”
Ranger rushed forward, wrapping his arms around his sister.
“Shh,” he comforted, burying his face in her dyed brunette hair.
“Please don’t cry. My eyebrows won’t survive it.
” His words had the intended effect, making Becks laugh into his chest as she held him tightly.
“I know you’re worried about me,” he said into her hair.
“But I swear to you, I am doing everything I possibly can to remain sober. Hell, your husband nearly ran my legs off me this morning. I’m okay, Becks.
And being with Toni feels normal. Beyond that, it feels right.
I can’t explain it, but she’s it for me. ”
“You met her yesterday, Liam!”
Ranger snorted. “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot you were the expert on long-term relationships prior to marriage. How long was it that you were seeing Ghost before you married him again?”
Becks pinched his back. “We’re not talking about me, Liam. What happens when she breaks up with you or you two have a fight?”
“Putting the cart before the horse there, little sis,” Ranger mused. “We’re not even officially official yet, and she’s fully aware of what happened to me and why.”
Becks stepped back abruptly. “You told her? Everything?”
Ranger nodded, though he was sure Becks didn’t know about the unmarked graves in the woods to the east. He also was sure Becks was smart enough to never ask what had happened to Cameron and Ritchie.
Becks frowned, running her eyes up and down his face. He had no idea what she was looking for, but he did not stop her. Finally, she said quietly, “She really means that much to you?”
“She does,” Ranger confessed, hoping she could see and hear the honesty of those words.
Unfortunately, that did not reassure her as he hoped it would.
Becks bit the inside of her lower lip, worry still evident on her face.
“Liam, I’m happy for you. Really. And I want nothing more for you than for you to find someone to love and who loves the incredible man that you are, but…
after Cameron…” Her voice trailed off as she shook her head slowly.
“I’m not sure you’re ready for a relationship.
Emotionally. That woman put you through hell—literally.
And I know you don’t like to talk about it.
Trust me, it’s not my favorite topic either.
And maybe you didn’t love Cameron, but you can’t deny you had feelings for her.
She betrayed you in the worst way. Are you sure you’re ready to open your heart up to someone new? ”
Ranger tucked his hands into his jean front pockets.
“Honestly? I don’t know,” he answered softly.
“I’m not in love with Toni, Becks. I care about her and I’m attracted to her, but I’m not in love with her.
Do I want what you and Ghost were lucky enough to find?
Abso-fucking-lutely. But I’m not in such a hurry that I’m going to jump headlong into something.
She’s aware that my sobriety comes first. I want to fall in love with her.
I feel like someday I could, but right now, neither of us are ready for something like that.
And that’s okay, too,” he reminded her with a soft smile.
“Maybe by taking it emotionally slow, we can build a foundation that’s stronger than anything we could have otherwise.
” He shrugged. “All I know is that I feel more like me than I have in a long time when I’m with her, Becks, and I need that sense of normalcy right now. ”
Becks scrunched her nose adorably. “Fine. Be all logical and shit. But,” she held up a pointer finger, “I still want to meet her.”
“You will. She’s sleeping on everything we talked about tonight, and will let me know her thoughts in the morning. You’ll like Toni,” he promised her. “Sophia and Jasmine know her from high school, and she’s helped Steel and Lucky out legally. She’s a good person.”
Becks lifted a hand to his face. “I hope you know I’m not judging you. I do trust you, Liam. You went through hell to protect me, but I also had to watch you go through that hell. That’s not something I can just get over or forget.”
Ranger bent down and kissed his sister’s forehead. “I know, B,” he said softly. “And despite my current struggles, I hope you know I have no regrets. I’d do it all again if it meant keeping you safe.”
Becks smiled up at him, a single tear starting to escape her eye.
“Shit,” Ranger cursed, quickly wiping it away. “That never happened! You got through this entire conversation without shedding a single tear! You’ll tell him, right? You’ll vouch for me? There were no tears!”
Becks laughed, sniffling, and quickly wiped her eyes. “I promise, there were no tears.”
Chuckling, Ranger kissed her forehead again. “Thank you for loving and supporting me, little sis. Now go to bed.”
She kissed his cheek. “Night, Liam.”
Ranger watched her climb the stairs before he headed to his room, pulling his phone out as he did.
* * *