19. Felicity
FELICITY
They threatened somebody I love.
The words kept echoing through me long after the tavern went quiet again.
Love.
Present tense.
Not loved.
Not used to love.
Love.
My chest hurt so badly I could barely breathe around it.
Hersh still held my hand.
Like he didn’t even realize what he’d just done to me.
Or maybe he did.
Because his eyes never left mine afterward.
Not once.
The storm rolled outside.
Rain.
Thunder.
Danger circling the tavern.
But somehow the most terrifying thing in the room was still him.
Hersh McDougal loved me.
After sixteen years.
After believing I abandoned him.
After all the damage.
And God help me…
I loved him enough to ruin both our lives over it.
Trigger finally broke the silence first.
“Well,” he muttered. “Since everybody’s emotionally spiraling, I’m gonna make coffee.”
Wolf snorted quietly.
Even Ava looked relieved for the interruption.
Tate rubbed a tired hand across his jaw. “I’ll get deputies covering the outer roads.”
“Trusted deputies,” Ava warned.
“Obviously.”
Isabel stayed curled near the bar, wrapped in one of the tavern blankets now, watching all of us with exhausted, frightened eyes.
Like she couldn’t quite understand why these people were willing to fight for her.
I understood.
Because months ago?
I wouldn’t have understood either.
Hersh’s thumb brushed lightly over my knuckles again.
Tiny movement.
Tiny comfort.
Enough to completely destroy my ability to think clearly.
I looked down at our joined hands.
Then slowly back up at him.
“Hersh…”
His expression softened instantly.
Every time.
Every single time.
“Yeah, Flick?”
Oh God.
I couldn’t do this in front of everyone.
Not with Wolf standing there pretending not to listen.
Not with Trigger loudly “organizing mugs” ten feet away while obviously eavesdropping.
Coward.
“I need to talk to you.”
Trigger immediately pointed toward the hallway.
“Apartment. Go. We support emotional vulnerability.”
Wolf shoved him hard.
“What?” Trigger complained. “I’m invested now.”
Heat rushed into my face.
Hersh’s mouth twitched slightly for the first time since the sedan drove by.
Then he looked toward Tate and Wolf.
“You good down here?”
“We’ve got it,” Wolf answered.
Tate nodded once.
“Go.”
My pulse immediately started pounding harder.
Because now there was no escaping this conversation.
Hersh guided me gently toward the stairs.
Not leading.
Not pushing.
Just staying close enough that I could feel him beside me the entire way upstairs.
And somehow…
that felt more intimate than touching.
The apartment upstairs was quiet except for the storm.
The second the door closed behind us, the tension changed instantly.
Not danger tension.
Us tension.
Heavy.
Breathing.
Too much history in one room.
Hersh turned toward me slowly.
“You okay?”
The question almost made me laugh.
Not because it was funny.
Because I didn’t even know what okay meant anymore.
“You told them you loved me.”
Straight to the point.
Good job, Felicity.
Hersh went still for about half a second.
Then slowly?—
one side of his mouth lifted.
“Yeah.”
Like it was obvious.
Like there was nothing complicated about it.
My heart completely betrayed me.
“You said it so casually,” I whispered.
That smile faded immediately.
“Wasn’t casual.”
The rough honesty in his voice nearly knocked the breath out of me.
“Hersh…”
He stepped closer slowly.
Carefully.
Always careful with me.
“I didn’t mean to say it out loud like that,” he admitted quietly. “But I’m not taking it back either.”
Emotion rose so fast inside my chest it physically hurt.
Because every part of me believed him.
“I spent sixteen years trying not to love you,” he said softly. “Turns out I’m terrible at it.”
A broken laugh escaped me before tears could.
God.
Of course this man would wreck me completely.
I looked away before I lost control entirely.
Too late.
Hersh caught my chin gently and turned my face back toward him.
“No hiding now, Flick.”
My throat tightened instantly.
Because he was right.
No more lies.
No more pretending.
No more silence.
“You said they threatened somebody you love,” I whispered shakily.
His eyes locked on mine.
“They did.”
My chest trembled hard.
“Hersh… if they hurt you because of me, I’ll never survive it.”
Something fierce flashed across his face instantly.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Decide my choices for me.”
His hand slid softly against my cheek.
Warm.
Steady.
Perfect.
“I loved you when I was seventeen,” he whispered. “I loved you when I thought you forgot me.” His voice roughened slightly. “And I love you now.”
The tears came instantly after that.
Not graceful tears.
Not pretty.
The kind pulled from somewhere deep.
Because nobody had ever loved me like this.
Not once.
Not ever.
And suddenly…
I couldn’t hold it anymore.
“I never stopped either,” I whispered brokenly.
Hersh went completely still.
“I tried,” I admitted through tears. “God, I tried so hard after I found the letters because I thought maybe you’d moved on and?—”
His forehead dropped gently against mine.
“I didn’t.”
The words wrapped around my shattered heart like warmth.
And before fear could stop me?—
before logic or danger or common sense could interfere?—
I lifted onto my toes and kissed him. My heart was pounding. I felt for sure he could hear it.