Chapter 37 Saint
Saint
The baby monitor crackles.
Then—
Crying.
Not the panicked kind.
The I am deeply offended by the universe kind.
I stare at the ceiling for a second and consider pretending I didn’t hear it.
For exactly half a second.
Then I hear Wolf’s voice in my head.
Don’t even think about it.
I sigh and swing my legs out of bed.
My ribs still complain from the beating I took at the processing plant, but I ignore them as I shuffle down the hallway.
The cabin is quiet.
Wind taps softly against the windows, and the old wood creaks as the temperature drops outside.
I push open the nursery door.
She’s red-faced and furious.
Little fists clenched.
Eyes squeezed shut like she’s personally insulted by the entire situation.
“Hey,” I whisper. “Okay. Okay. I’m coming.”
I lift her out of the crib.
For a second she stiffens.
Then she relaxes against my chest like she recognizes me.
That still messes with my head.
I glance over at the dresser where Laney taped the emergency instructions.
Diaper
Bottle
Burp
Rock
Don’t panic
I manage three out of five.
The diaper change becomes a full-scale tactical operation.
She fights.
I lose.
Badly.
By the time I finish, I’m sweating like I just ran a mile uphill.
“Respect,” I mutter, wiping my hands. “I see your game.”
The bottle goes better.
She grabs my finger with her entire hand while she eats.
The grip is tiny.
But strong.
I sit in the rocking chair and just… watch her.
Memorizing everything.
Her tiny nose.
The soft curve of her cheek.
The little flutter of her lashes.
The way she sighs when she’s full.
When she finally falls asleep against my chest, I don’t move.
I can’t.
Because in that quiet moment, something hits me.
Something terrifying.
I don’t remember what my life looked like before her.