104. Riley
ONE HUNDRED FOUR
I”m at home now,out of my party clothes and into my soft, welcoming pajamas. I use the word ”home” loosely, since this place has never felt like it; even in my shitty apartment I felt more at home than this soulless, modernist condo.
I have to admit that it”s easy, though. Everything is luxurious and simple-to-use, as if Gabriel hand-selected things he knew I”d enjoy. Who knows? Perhaps he did. That thought slays me, because it means that somewhere inside him, he cares for me. Wants my comfort.
He”s just unwilling — or unable — to take our relationship any further.
For example, this expensive, name-brand hot cocoa maker I”m using. Who knows how much it cost, but it makes the perfect cup of piping hot chocolate. Gabriel knows I love cocoa, and here it is, in my kitchen.
Nothing is ever a coincidence with Gabriel. Not the cocoa maker, and not the way he walked away from me tonight.
Sighing, I take my mug into the living room, careful not to spill on the polished concrete floor. Probably I should drown myself in a bottle of wine, but I don”t have any and can”t imagine going out to buy one at this hour.
Piss poor planning, my father would say.
It”s nearly eleven, and despair is clawing at me from the inside. Seeing Gabriel, staring into his eyes, touching him...
It sapped every ounce of energy I had. And I didn”t have much to begin with.
Why did he walk away? Why did he leave me there alone? Why couldn”t I find him when I went back inside and humiliated myself in front of all those people? I saw the eyes on me, people who knew I”d been with him, people who knew I showed up with Beckett.
They all wondered: how could she do that to a man like Gabriel Greco?
Or maybe they know he dumped me and think I deserve everything that”s coming to me, and worse.
I sip my cocoa, but the delicious sweetness tastes bitter to my tongue. My mind spirals to dark places.
And then there”s Beckett...
Poor, sweet Beckett. I wish he”d never seen me with Gabriel. I wish I”d never spent time with Beckett. I wish, I wish, I wish.
Wishes are for fools.
I reach for the TV remote but then toss it on the sofa cushion next to me. I don”t have the energy to push the button, nor the desire to watch anything. All I can muster is sitting here in the semidarkness, drinking my liquid sugar.
Tears haven”t come yet, but I”m certain they will soon. How have I fucked up my life so badly here in Florida? It”s all my fault for getting entangled with Gabriel.
This is all my doing.
As I”m thinking about whether I should quit my job and return to Boston with my tail between my legs and beg to move back in with my parents, a knock on the door startles me from my brooding.
I freeze, mug halfway to my lips. Who could that be at this hour? Fear swirls in my gut. Is it Beckett? That”s the most obvious answer, since he lives here. It would be just like him to show up at my door to have an adult conversation. He”s so well-adjusted and kind. He doesn”t deserve me.
I set down the cocoa and tiptoe to the door. Of course, I”m also wary that it could be
one of Gabriel”s enemies, here to send a message. Then again, he”s got bodyguards here in this building, specifically for me.
Unless he cancelled them out of sheer rage and spite, in which case I”m a sitting duck. Would he do that?
My heart thrashing in my chest, I slowly lean into the peephole. I gasp.
It”s Gabriel.
I fumble with the lock and swing open the door. His imposing form fills the doorway, exuding power and sexuality. His expression is hard, angry, even. Oh, shit.
Before I can speak, he steps inside, kicking the door shut behind him. In an instant his mouth claims mine, kissing me fiercely, possessively.
He ignores the surprised squeak that comes from my throat and presses me hard against the wall, consuming my mouth. He does this without saying a word, because he doesn”t have to. His body, his mouth, expresses every emotion.
The familiar, thrilling, taste and feel of him melts my despair, at least for a moment. I whimper against his lips, my body molding itself to his muscular frame. Gabriel”s hands roam my chest greedily, igniting fires wherever he touches. I clutch at his shoulders, drowning in sensation, yet conflicted.
When our lips finally part, we”re both breathless. Gabriel rests his forehead against mine.
”I”m sorry,” he rasps. ”I”m so fucking sorry. I never should have walked away from you. Should have never ended things. I need you, Riley. Need you so damned much. I”ve never needed someone like I need you. You make me weak, and you make me whole. Please say you”ll forgive me.”
I”m stunned at his admission, and I bury my face into his chest. I take a deep inhale of his spicy scent and that”s when I lose it. That”s when the tears come, sloppy and big and so ugly.
”Oh, princess,” he whispers. He”s never called me that before, and it melts my frozen soul. ”Princess. I”ll make it up to you. I promise. I never want to hurt you again. I”m a fucking monster for putting you through all this.”
Gabriel”s lips claim mine again, firm yet soft, tasting faintly of whiskey and smoke. I open for him eagerly, my fingers twisting in the silky strands of his hair. His tongue delves inside my mouth, stroking and tangling with my own.
I feel his stubble rough against my face as he devours me, one hand cradling my jaw while the other slides under my pajama top, claiming my bare breast.
I”m enveloped in everything that is Gabriel, everything beautiful and dangerous and perfect for me. His masculine scent, the hard heat of his body, his quiet groans that reverberate in the most erotic way through my body. My nerve endings sizzle every single place we connect. I rub against him shamelessly, wantonly, craving more and more and more.
Gabriel obliges, his mouth trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along my jaw and down my neck. I tip my head back with a breathy groan as he finds a particularly sensitive spot behind my ear.
”Fuck, you feel so good,” he rasps.
My hands slide beneath his suit jacket, grasping his strong shoulders. Our heavy breathing and the wet sounds of our kiss fill the quiet room. Liquid heat pools low in my belly. I”m lost, consumed by Gabriel and the exquisite sensations coursing through me. Nothing exists except his kiss, his touch, his overwhelming presence.
In this moment, anger and hurt melt away. There is only need, desire, rightness. I know then that no matter how damaged we are, we belong together.
”This. This is us, Riley. We”re meant to be this way. We are perfect together. You know it. I know it.”
His raw admission undoes me even as it angers me. ”You”re right, but...”
He stops consuming me, cradling my face in his hands, his eyes searching mine. ”But what?”
”You can”t just show up and kiss me like that. I have feelings too. It”s been the worst month, Gabriel. The worst since... since Lorna.”
He swallows, as if he”s trying hard not to cry. ”I know. I”ve been thinking for weeks about how much I”ve fucked up. How much I miss you.”
My heart swells, even as my head wars with it. ”I missed you too,” I whisper. ”But I”m still so angry and confused.”
”I know. Let me make it up to you.” Gabriel”s eyes blaze with sincerity. ”Give me another chance, Riley. Please. I”m begging.”
This is not a man who ever begs.
I gaze at him, longing and uncertainty raging inside me. Slowly I bring my lips to his.
This is my answer.
Gabriel groans, kissing me deeply as he lifts me up, pressing me harder against the wall. I twine my legs around him, desire overpowering logic. My pussy is already drenched from being next to him, and as much as I wish I didn”t have this reaction, I do.
Gabriel carries me down the hall, his mouth never leaving mine. My legs stay wrapped around his waist, my arms around his neck. His muscles flex as he holds me without effort.
We reach the bedroom and he lays me on the plush comforter atop my bed. I stare up at him, cheeks flushed, lips swollen and tingly from his kisses.
Gabriel”s eyes are nearly black with lust as he gazes down at me. Slowly, he shrugs off his suit jacket and tosses it onto the floor.
His deft fingers begin working the buttons of his dress shirt. I prop myself up on my elbows, transfixed at the expanse of hard chest being revealed inch by inch. Gabriel doesn”t break eye contact, his stare scorching.
I begin to unbutton my pajama top.
”No,” he says harshly. ”That”s for me.”
His firm voice makes me want him even more.
When the last button is undone, he shrugs the shirt off and it joins the suit jacket on the floor. I sigh at the mouthwatering sight of his abs and pecs. A trail of dark hair lightly dusts in a line from his belly button to below his belt.
Gabriel is perfection. But another miserable thought has popped into my head. Fuck.
He reaches for his belt buckle but hesitates when he notices my expression. ”What”s wrong?”
I bite my lip. The question I desperately want to ask bubbles up before I can stop it. ”Have you been with anyone else? Since we broke up?”
Gabriel”s brow furrows. For a long moment he just looks at me. ”No. I haven”t fucked anyone else.”
Relief washes over me, but anxiety still gnaws at my gut. ”Not even that woman tonight? The one with the great legs?”
His gaze darkens. ”Stephanie? She”s an old friend who gets...overly friendly when she drinks. But that”s all. I haven”t slept with her or anyone. I did, well... never mind.”
”You what?” I sit up, my desire softening.
”We kissed. At a party, a week or so ago.” He runs his hand through his hair. ”Actually it was right after we broke up.”
”After you broke it off with me,” I remind him, my heart feeling like it”s been stabbed at the news he kissed another woman.
”Yeah.” Gabriel sits on the bed beside me, taking my hand in his. ”You”re the only one I want, Riley. The only woman who consumes my thoughts, my dreams. These weeks without you have been hell. Stephanie means nothing to me. Please believe me. I could”ve gone home with her tonight. Hell, I she”d have let me fuck her in front of the entire?—”
He stops speaking when he sees my angry expression. His eyes sharpen.
”What about you?” Gabriel asks after a moment. There”s an edge to his voice that belies his stoic expression. ”Have you been with that man tonight?”
I hesitate a beat too long. Gabriel”s jaw flexes.
”Beckett and I are just friends,” I say softly. ”We”ve never...”
Gabriel waits, eyes boring into me.
”We kissed once.” I rush to explain at his dark look. ”Just a short kiss. It was quick, and afterward I felt awful. Beckett”s a good man who doesn”t deserve to be strung along. I was making it clear we could only be friends.”
Had I, though? I”m not sure of anything right now.
Gabriel absorbs this silently. I hold my breath, worried he”ll storm out.
Finally he nods, the tension in his shoulders easing. ”I believe you. I trust you. I hope you trust me. We need to put this past month behind us and never speak of it again. I don”t want to hear about Beckett, and I”ll never mention Stephanie. Deal?”
Relief floods me. I lean in and kiss him sweetly. After a moment, Gabriel deepens the kiss, desire reigniting. He gently pushes me back against the pillows, stretching his powerful body over mine.
Our kisses turn hungry, seeking. Hands roam and my pajamas are quickly discarded. Soon there”s nothing between us.
”I want to touch you and lick you and taste you, but before any of that, I need to be inside you,” he whispers. ”Please?”
Gabriel settles between my thighs, his weight pure perfection against me.
He pauses, his eyes searching my face. Looking for any hesitation. He”s not just taking my body, he”s considering my comfort and pleasure.
”Are you sure about this, Riley?”