130. Riley
ONE HUNDRED THIRTY
”I can”t do this, Gabriel.”
We”re in the backseat of the rented SUV, sitting on the street outside a tidy three-story brownstone in Boston”s Back Bay. It”s not far from the hotel, in fact. This is one of the nicest neighborhoods in the city, but I don”t care about all that now.
I don”t care about a damn thing other than the fact I”m about to say goodbye to Gabriel
”You won”t be here for long. Just enough time for the new passport and ID cards. We”re also ironing out a place for you to live and a job. I want everything to be taken care of for you. For a long time.”
”I can”t do any of this without you.”
Gabriel presses his nose into my cheek. ”You can, and you will. You”re strong. You”re a survivor.”
”But I don”t want to, without you.”
”Babe, please. I don”t want to do any of this without you, either. But there”s no other alternative.”
After Gabriel explained the plan in the hotel room, I begrudgingly agreed to go along. It”s not a terrible plan, I guess. Other than the fact that my entire life is about to change.
My career? Gone.
Plans for a wedding? Canceled.
Living with my soul mate? Not going to happen. Maybe ever.
The attorneys then showed up and answered more questions, and eventually, his friend Giovanni appeared. Apparently, he”s an attorney too, a consigliere to a mafia family. He”s an integral part of the plan and is every bit as connected as Gabriel.
Now we”re outside Gio”s mother”s home. It”s where I”ll be staying anywhere from two days to two weeks, while I wait for my new identity.
”Come on, let”s go meet Mrs. Scalzi. She”s a nice lady and will take care of you,” Gabriel says with a wan smile. He”s trying to make the best of this for me, and I applaud him for putting on a bold front.
I”m on the verge of breaking down, and frankly, I”m not even sure how I”ve made it this long.
Trembling, I slide out of the SUV. I hold Gabriel”s hand tightly, feeling the weight of impending separation crushing my chest. Every step feels heavier than the last. The rain falls in a drizzle, the sky is the color of a fresh bruise, and it all mirrors my mood.
Giovanni, looking solemn, waits at the entrance. His gaze meets mine with a mix of empathy and understanding.
”Thanks, man,” Gabriel murmurs. Gio pats him on the back.
”Riley, this is Mrs. Scalzi,” Gabriel introduces a petite, silver-haired woman. Her eyes sparkle with warmth despite the gravity of the situation.
”Please, call me Nonna,” she says, her Italian-accented voice soothing like a lullaby. ”You will be welcome in my home as long as you want.”
I force a smile, feeling a lump form in my throat. The overwhelming kindness from this stranger unsettles me, a stark contrast to the turmoil bubbling inside my body.
”Come, dear. I”ll make us some espresso,” Nonna gestures, leading us through the narrow corridor into a cozy living room. Even though this home is likely worth many millions of dollars, it”s something right out of Grandma 101.
The aroma of brewed coffee and freshly baked cookies is everywhere.
I steal a glance at Gabriel, his jaw clenched in an attempt to mask his emotions. Our eyes meet, silently communicating the words we can”t bring ourselves to say aloud. The weight of our unspoken goodbye hangs heavy in the air, suffocating me with the bitter reality of our situation.
”While she”s doing that, I”ll show you two to Riley”s room,” Gio says quietly.
The room is cozy but utilitarian. A bag filled with necessities, purchased by one of Gabriel”s men, sits on the bed. The atmosphere feels heavy. As Giovanni leaves, a wave of anguish washes over me.
”I can”t do this,” I whisper, my voice trembling.
Gabriel steps closer, cupping my face in his hands. His touch is tender yet heavy with the weight of our circumstances. Tears cascade down my cheeks, mirroring the anguish reflected in his eyes.
”Riley, this isn”t goodbye. It”s see you soon.”
I lean into his touch, savoring the warmth that encompasses me. ”But it won”t be soon. It might be never.”
”We don”t know that.”
Desperation seizes me as I clutch onto him, a fierce longing to freeze this moment, to capture it in time.
”I love you,” I manage to say through choked sobs, my voice cracking with raw emotion.
”I love you more than anything in this world,” Gabriel replies, his voice thick with emotion. He leans in, capturing my lips in a tender, lingering kiss, a silent promise woven into its depths. ”You have made me a better man.”
I hug him and never want to let go.
The moment stretches. It”s not enough time. It will never be enough. Reluctantly, we pull away, our breaths mingling, each step, each inch of space between us, a painful reminder of the distance that will soon separate us.
Prison bars. The thought makes me want to puke.
”I”ll wait for you. I can come with you to Florida,” I plead, desperation lacing my words. ”That way I can visit you. Be there for you during the trial. You”ll need me there.”
Gabriel”s gaze softens, but his answer is unwavering. ”No, Riley. This is much better for you. I need you to be safe, to start fresh. You deserve a life without my shadow looming over you. You”re going to have a good life. I promise.”
Tears spill down my cheeks as I nod, understanding the meaning of his words. ”I”ll miss you every second,” I manage to say, my voice barely above a whisper.
”And I”ll miss you, too,” Gabriel murmurs, his voice breaking.
As he steps away, my heart tightens with fear and worry. What will happen to him in that place? Will he get hurt? Will he starve? Will he be okay?
”Can I call later today? Or visit? Write to you?” I ask, my voice trembling with the fear of losing all contact.
”No, Riley. It”s best if there”s no contact. I don”t want anyone tracing you to me. Don”t want any records or phone calls linking us, more than there already are,” Gabriel”s voice sounds more defeated than I”ve ever heard. ”It”s safer this way, for both of us. Focus on your new life. Live life for both of us. Please?”
He gives me another fierce kiss, stares into my face, then presses his lips to my forehead.
And then he walks out.
The heaviness of his absence pierces my soul. I bury my face in my hands, tears flowing freely, each drop carrying a piece of my heart torn away by blood and cocaine, by the law and the mafia, by pure evil that permeates my world.
GAbrIEL
I stumbleout of the Scalzi house, trying and failing to catch my breath. I don”t bother to say goodbye to Gio or his mother, but I know they understand.
In the backseat of the SUV, I swallow a thick lump in my throat. My eyes feel scratchy, and all I want is to claw them out.
Saying goodbye to Riley was the most difficult thing I”ve ever done in my life.
The driver clears his throat. ”Sir? Are we going to the airport?”
”Yes,” I say quietly.
As the car surges down the road, each passing mile became a torturous step away from Riley.
Her absence is a weight pressing against my chest, squeezing out every breath. The world outside blurs into a portrait of desolation — the grim sky overhead is a perfect match for my mood. The suffocating gloom of the day echoes the abyss swallowing my heart.
Everything is total shit. Part of me wants to go back to Florida, find my father, and kill him with my bare hands.
Another part of me wants to kill myself, but I”d never put Riley through that. She”s a fighter, but so am I. Part of me holds onto hope that somehow I”ll be able to beat the charges, even though my attorneys say the case is rock-solid.
No, I have to return home and face reality. This is part of my world. Live by the sword, die by the sword.
That”s what my grandfather always said. What he didn”t mention was that when you died by the sword, you leave behind a heart shattered into a million irreparable shards, each one a reminder of what you”ve lost.
I can”t believe my father betrayed me. Why is still a mystery. I can”t believe I trusted the man.
That”s also a mystery.
My phone buzzes. It”s Andre.
”Everything”s taken care of,” I tell him.
I hear him exhale. ”I”m sorry.”
”Me too.” My tone is brittle. ”We”re on our way to the airport. Call the US Attorney”s Office and tell them I”ll turn myself in to their office tomorrow morning at eight. I need one more night to prepare. Oh, and make sure Cath is there when I get home. I need to talk with her.”
”Will do, sir.”
We hang up. One more night of freedom. One more night in my family”s home. My first without Riley.
The first of many.
This time, I don”t swallow the lump in my throat. I stare out the window in silence, and for the first time in my life, the tears come.