Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
The blades of the ceiling fan circled, hypnotizing me and pulling me deeper into the trance I couldn’t pull myself out of. The week leading up to a woman’s wedding was said to be the most stressful time of a bride’s life. No one mentioned the heartache. The sadness. The mourning of the life you were leaving behind to join another.
Five days .
It had been five whole days since Priest had left me in bed and I’d been unable to pull myself out of it for anything other than feeding my aching belly and emptying my bladder. I hadn’t showered. I hadn’t picked up a comb. I hadn’t taken out the trash. I hadn’t seen clearly in five whole days.
“Sssss,” I winced.
My eyelids were swollen to the point of pain and tender to the touch. With each blink, it felt like shards of glass were scrapping the underside of my skin. I’d used seventy Kleenex.
Get up, Rather . Teddy’s voice chastised me. I could hear the disappointment in his voice, but I was in no shape to comply.
“I can’t,” I choked out. “I’ve tried.”
On queue, my phone vibrated beside me. Wishful thinking led me to the screen where I slightly prayed that Priest’s contact would appear.
Kleigh . I lowered the phone onto the bed, reluctant to answer for anyone other than my sisters, mother, Teddy, or him .
It vibrated again. Kleigh was persistent. She wouldn’t stop calling until I answered. This was her week. This was her mother’s week. And, she wouldn’t let me ruin it even if I tried.
“Hello?”
“Rise and shine, my girl. We have a big day. The final fitting is at four. You’ll go straight to the Edgar’s Hall after where hair and makeup will be waiting to get you together for the dinner tonight. But, before the dinner, we have a quick rehearsal. And then there’s tomorrow!”
She was jubilant. Her joy was contagious. The way she packaged the dream she was selling and offered it to me brought a smile to my face.
“The wedding.”
“Yes. The wedding!” She squealed. “Why do I sound more excited than you?”
Because you are .
“Maybe because every member of your family is present.”
“Awwww, baby. I’m so sorry. My father and Chemistry said they were working to get that squared away. I’m sure between the two of them, everything will work out. They wouldn’t miss your day. I know they wouldn’t.”
She was right. Chemistry would move waters, literally, to make it to me.
“We have dresses for all the girls according to the measurements they sent. Even little Miss Jru has a dress.”
“Thank you.”
“I told you I’ve got you and not to stress. Have you taken this week to relax like I told you?”
I’ve cried every day this week, Kleigh. My heart is broken. I don’t know peace right now. I can’t relax.
“Yes.”
“Well, good, because we have a busy day ahead of us. Then, the wedding. And, after that you can spend the next six months recuperating from the eventful weekend.”
“Noted.”
“Alright, now get up and start getting ready. It’s already one o’clock.”
“Okay, okay. I’m getting up.”
Two hours.
I had two hours to minimize the swelling of my eyes and reflect the same energy as my future sister-in-law. Though it wasn’t looking promising, I had a group of women ready to rally behind me and help me get my shit together so my day could truly begin.
But, first, a call to my mother was essential. I needed her light and I needed her wisdom.
FaceTime was too insulting, so I opted for a phone call, instead. As the line turned over and began to ring, I rested my back against the upholstered headboard.
I could still smell Priest on my sheets. I could still hear him sleeping soundly beside me. I could still feel him inside of me.
“Rather.”
Like a gentle hug after heartbreak, every girl needed from their mother, my mother’s voice wrapped around me.
“Mom,” I breathed out, heavily. Tears fell from my cheeks. I swiped them as quickly as they came.
“Baby, what’s the matter?”
Unable to hold it in any longer, I rushed out, “I fell in love, Mom.”
“Oh, baby, what’s with the tears?”
“It’s not with him,” I cried, “It’s not him.”
“Rather–” she sighed, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s his brother I’ve fallen for. It’s Priest.”
“Baby, I have met Priest. And, as a happily married woman when I did, I must say I don’t fault you. That young man is– He’s–”
She stumbled over her words.
“Exactly what my heart needs.”
“But can’t have.”
I shook my head. “It can’t.”
“So, hold your head high, Rather. Once the crying is over, stand tall and take your position in the family as you rightfully should. You’re not the first woman to settle for what she could have instead of what she truly wanted. You won’t be the last.”
“It breaks my heart to know this is your reality, but it’s reality nonetheless. Give yourself grace. Sulk if you want to. Cry as much as you need to. But, tomorrow, I want you standing at the altar, ten toes down, fulfilling your obligation.”
“And, when it’s all over, I want you to remain true to yourself, but true to the vows you’ve made. Waging war between brothers is not the solution. Priest was yours to have for a little while. Kofi is yours to have forever. It’s not the end of your world, Rather. It’s just the beginning of a new one.”
I digested her words, taking them for exactly what they were. She hadn’t steered me wrong in life. Today wasn’t the day she’d start.
“You hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
I paused, preparing for the ultimate heartbreak to roll off her tongue.
“Will you make it?”
“Make what?”
“The wedding?”
“I wo–”
Ding. Dong.
The doorbell interrupted her train of thought.
“Is that your door?”
“Uh– Yes. I’m not expecting anyone. Hold on, Mom.”
I lowered the phone and exited the call screen without hanging up. The camera app opened with a single tap. Darkness covered the camera in front of my home, yet the rest were crystal clear.
“Hello?” I put the phone back up to my ear.
“Yes. I’m here.”
“I’m going to call you back later, okay?”
“No you’re not,” she fussed, “Stay on the phone with me until you find out who is behind that door.”
“Okay.”
I hopped off the bed and into my closet where I grabbed a pair of sweats. I wasn’t one to wear them often, but for quick runs to the end of the driveway to sit the dumpster out or to the garage to retrieve something from my car they served their purpose.
I stuffed my gun in the waistline and headed downstairs. I could smell the day’s debris on my body as the wind from my speed picked up. Inside the kitchen, I twisted the knobs on the stove.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click .
I grabbed the Tiger-striped firearm and concealed my collection by turning the knobs again.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Full speed ahead, I walked toward the front door. When I was close enough, I shouted the first order.
“State your name or I’m shooting through the glass. Fair warning, I do not miss!”
I waited for a response. The silence was frustrating.
“Who the fuck are you and what the fuck do you want?”
When the silence continued, I began to pressure the trigger.
“Fine.”
“It’s me!”
Rome’s voice stilled every muscle in my body. It gutted me of everything and then refilled me with love. Her love. Their love. Because, I knew if she was here, she hadn’t come alone.
I unlocked the door and yanked it open.
“Shut up!” I cried, wrapping my arms around Rome.
Rugger was next. Then Roaman. Then Roulette. Then Range. Then Royce. My girls were here. My loves. My lifeline. My support system. My everything .
“Why didn’t you guys tell me you were coming?” I could feel the snot dripping from my knows, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered at the moment. Nothing but them.”
“We should’ve so you could’ve bathed,” Rugger grunted, pressing her way through the door.
“You funky! Like, the shit is offensive. Get back!” Roulette stepped back as she dug into her purse.
She pulled out a bottle of Dior perfume and began spritzing in my direction.
“Ugh. Smell like a box of old fruit. The hell you got going on in here?”
She stepped past me and into the house.
“She’s so dramatic,” Rome whispered, “But seriously, you do stink.”
“Where’s Mom?”
“She’s flying in, in the morning with Teddy, Jru, and Egypt. He didn’t want us all on the same flight.”
“Always careful.” I smiled, acknowledging the head of our family and his procedures.
“That’s Teddy,” Rome added.
“God, I’ve missed you all. I have so much to tell you.”
“You have forty-eight hours to tell us. That’s how long we’re here,” Rugger yelled over her shoulder as she walked past.
“Which means Mom and Chemistry only have twenty-four,” Rome informed me.
The heavy breath she released told me she hated to be the bearer of bad news, but it had to be revealed.
“Shit. Mom is still on the line.”
I removed my phone from my pocket to find she’d already ended the call.
“Good. She hung up already.”
“She could smell the funk from that back pocket. She passed the fuck out. Now, I’ve got to have Chem go check on her,” Roulette teased, calling our mother on her phone and walking off.
Neither of them had been to my home, but they all seemed to know every nook and cranny. Collectively, they began cleaning the mess I’d accumulated over the last five days. When Roulette reappeared, she wasn’t empty-handed. She’d dug in her bag and retrieved all the goods.
“Come on. We’re going upstairs to get you all the way together. I’m about to scrub your ass myself. Make sure it’s nice and clean.”
She led me up the stairs and into my bathroom where she stripped me bare. After starting the shower, she gave me a good once-over.
“Okay, now talk to Momma.”
Roulette was the only person in the family who referred to herself as Momma, but we never revoked her right. Though she was indeed the wildest, she had the tendency to treat, talk to you, and nurture you like a mother. Just like most of us, she had no desire to brith children of her own, but she owned more than one establishment full of young, ambitious girls that she mothered better than some of the women who birthed them.
“Thing between us ended.”
“You knew this was how it would play out.”
I nodded. “I did. I just didn’t expect it to feel like someone stole my heart out of my chest.”
“They didn’t. It’ll hurt for a while, but you’ll get through it. I promise.”
“I know.”
“So, are you done crying about it, babe? Because whether you want it to or not, life goes on.”
“I am.”
“Good. If you decide you’re not, that’s okay, too. I have a shoulder right here for you to cry on. I just need you to bathe first or we’ll both be crying together.”
“Shut up!” I chortled.
Though a chunk of me left with Priest out of my door, having my sisters around made me feel whole again. The last three months without them had been torture. I never wanted to experience life without them. They made everything alright, even when it wasn’t .
“Come on. Get in. I have my work cut out for me.”
“You’re insufferable. Has anyone told you that lately?”
“Chem and he’s starting to sound like a broken record.”
The steam from the shower clouded the mirrors and glass all around us. When I stepped into the shower, the temperature was perfect. I reached for my loofah and was immediately scolded.
“Uh Mm. Don’t touch nothing in there. I got everything you need right here.”
She patted the toiletry bag she’d brought in. Roulette removed a pair of exfoliating gloves and swiped them under the water. She then lathered them until a thick foam was in both her palms. Soon after, her hands were on me, scrubbing away the pain and strife the week had caused.
By the time she grabbed the shower hose to rinse it all off, Rome had joined us. She was carrying a fluffy robe and towel. Roaman was right behind her, trying to balance four glasses of wine in her hands. Royce carried another three. Range came through the door with her intrusive thoughts brimming.
“So, is anyone going to ask her why she’s been crying herself a river? I just cleaned at least a hundred snotty cloths from the floor.”
“Has to be some dick,” Rugger blurted entering the bathroom with a glass of something brown and surely strong in her glass.
Roulette began her second round of cleansing.
“Spread them cheeks, Rather.”
I leaned forward and placed my hands on the shower wall, assuming the position. When I was stable, I removed my hands and parted the cheeks of my ass.
“Shhhhh! Maybe it’s the weight of her commitment,” Rome reasoned.
“No,” Roulette told them, “Rugger is right. Sis done slipped and fell on some dick. The wrong dick, might I add. The dick of the man who shares the same blood as the man she’s marrying.”
Gasps were echoed in the large bathroom.
“But, in her defense, she was slipping and sliding down that one first. Long before a fucking Kofi existed.”
“Awwww, baby,” Royce sighed.
“Damn.” Range tittered.
I was rinsed for a second time. Rome stepped up, handing me the towel. I turned the water off and dried my body while still in the shower. When I emerged, I was given a glass of wine and the robe from her hands.
“And, I’ve fallen in love with him.”
“Him who?” They asked in unison, everyone but Roulette. She was already privy to the information.
“Priest,” I revealed.
A pin could drop and it would be heard a mile away. Everyone stilled. There wasn’t a sound made. Not until I pushed out the breath I’d been holding, praying my sisters didn’t chew into me for the choices I’d made. I should’ve known better than to ever believe that. Those girls were my rocks.
“Well, I could make Kofi disappear so you can have your happily ever after. He’s a risk factor. His disappearance wouldn’t be unlikely. After all, that’s why they’re eager to marry him off.”
“Rugger.”
She picked the dirt from beneath her nails, completely unbothered by the stale faces staring back at her.
“Anything to see my sister smile.” She shrugged. “If you change your mind, don’t hesitate to call. I’ll be on the first thing smoking. I’m itching for an assignment.”
“It won’t be Kofi,” I promised her. “He’s a decent guy. A little wild, but he’s not awful. And, we’ve become friends, sort of. I think it’s the foundation to a happy marriage. Well, one as happy as it could be given the circumstances.”
“You’re a stronger sister than me because I’d try my best to sit the fellas down and have them both agree to share me. Together and separately,” Roulette explained, “I have two holes. They’re both fillable.”
“Three,” Royce corrected her.
“See, I knew I liked you better for some reason. The brother Killian wouldn’t be a bad idea. Rugger showed me a picture.”
“Please.” She was too much at times, but I knew she was being completely honest.
Monogamy wasn’t her way of life. She was a girl who liked to dibble and dabble and keep her hands in a few baskets.
“I have to be at my last fitting at four and then it’s straight to the dinner for hair and makeup.”
“Well, that gives us two hours of girl time. To the kitchen, shall we?”
We filed out of the bathroom. Every woman had a glass in her hand that would need to be refilled soon.