Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
“Sleeping beauty.”
The sound of his voice would never expire in my head.
“Say it,” he whispered.
“Sleeping beau-ry.”
Tiny chuckles followed Princeton’s new attempt at a word. His vocabulary was improving and so were his social skills. My presence was the balance he needed. And, his hugs were the solution I needed. They made the world around us feel so small.
Without opening my eyes, I trailed the sound of the sniggers. Into my outstretched arms, I pulled Princeton onto the bed and underneath the covers with me. I squeezed his body close to mine.
“Beau–ty. The word is beauty.”
“Beau–ty!”
“Yes.”
I searched the open air with my free hand. He was near. I could smell his skin’s fragrance. I could feel his presence dominating my existence. I could hear his steady breathing. And, though I couldn’t see them, I could feel the ridges in the corner of his mouth that formed due to his smile.
“Good morning,” Priest uttered.
He ended my misery. Against my palm, he rested his cheek. Contentment filled me to the brim. From his cheek, my hand lowered to his lips.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Gently, he kissed my knuckles.
“Good morning,” I yawned.
Sunlight assaulted my eyes, but with each blink I adjusted to its brutality. And, there he was, staring down at me with my hand in his. It didn’t matter how many mornings I woke up to him, I still couldn’t believe this was my reality. He was my reality.
Fourteen days.
Thirteen nights.
Waking up in Priest’s bed was surreal. The sheets I’d dreamt of for many months covered my body every night. I was still waiting to be pinched. I was still waiting to wake up because there was simply no way I wasn’t still dreaming.
Because we needed a plan in place for Princeton, our honeymoon would have to wait. However, our marriage was official and our license had been printed in St. Catana. We journeyed to the island for that reason alone and was back within forty-eight hours so Princeton didn’t miss his father too much.
It had been two weeks since the ceremony. The thought of everything that transpired knotted my stomach and brought me joy, simultaneously. Though our worlds had been twisted upside down, our love remained intact.
“Breakfast is ready.”
“Just a few more minutes with the best cuddle buddy a girl could ever ask for.”
Princeton’s arms snaked around my neck.
“Nah. I think that’s enough. I’m not sure what this little nigga think this is.”
Priest pulled on Princeton’s shoulders. He paid his father no mind. His penetrating gaze nearly put me in stitches. I was trying my hardest not to laugh, but Priest was making it difficult. Watching him blossom in real time was the best part of this entire ordeal.
“Leave him alone.”
I locked both arms around Princeton. He was feeding right into my antics. It was more of the same with us every day. Having me around kept a smile on Princeton’s face.
He was quickly becoming my partner in crime, and making me reconsider my dreams of never bringing a child into the chaotic world we lived in. In due time, maybe I would. But, for now, he was more than enough for his father and I.
“You see the way he’s looking at you. Has no one told him, I fight niggas bout you?”
“Five year olds, too?” I cackled.
“Five month olds if they look like they’re trying to make a move.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m in love, dear. That shit is ridiculous in itself.”
I nodded, unable to protest his claims.
“Up, up. Breakfast is ready.”
“Okay. Okay.”
I buried my head between Princeton’s neck and the pillow beneath us. Staying here all day was ideal, but there were a few tasks that weren’t up for negotiation. I had to get out of bed and get my day started, no matter how much I wanted to stay in.
I dragged my body from the bed into the upright position. My little shadow rose from the bed as well. I stretched my arms in the air and he did the same. Before his arms came down, I scrambled my fingers across his belly.
He fell over in laughter. Giggles were so good for the soul. I’d learned that over the last two weeks. Each time I heard Princeton’s, a part of me that I didn’t know was broken began to heal.
Dad . I signed. Is a hater .
His smile widened as he looked over his shoulder at Priest. His eyes returned to me shortly after.
Mom . He placed his hand in the air with his thumb against his chin. Is pretty .
My heart attempted to climb through my chest. Intensely, unrhythmically, it beat against the silk clinging to my skin. My head drew backward at an alarming speed, nearing snapping my spine and paralyzing me for life. Though it was still intact, I was immobilized by both my thoughts and Princeton’s words. Tears welled in my eyes as each breath I released shortened.
“Princeton.”
My voice was brimming with emotions, so many that it felt pointless. So, instead of using it, I used my hands. One went against my forehead in the salute stance and then came down onto the other that was just underneath my breast bone.
Son is so smart , I declared.
Because I couldn’t take the distance any longer, I grabbed hold of him and pulled him into me. Priest was mere feet away, eyes beaming with pride.
I love you , he mouthed.
In every lifetime. I responded.
I strolled through the door of Genre with a new book in-hand. This time, it wasn’t one from their shelves. It was the final draft of my very own publication. A local printer was able to get it printed and bound for a small fee. There were ten copies in total, nine of them were reserved for the women in my life that meant the most to me.
Mom
Range.
Rugger.
Roulette.
Roaman.
Royce.
Rome.
Egypt.
And, Kleigh .
I was pleasantly surprised by the dark figure near the edge of the patio dressed in black from head to toe. A thick coat shielded his body from the cold. Leather gloves and a black skull cap kept his hands and ears warm.
In his hands was a book from the shelves of Genre and a mug that resembled a tea cup. He was so consumed by the words on the pages that he wasn’t aware of my presence. His stillness was entertaining. I couldn’t recall a time when he was as quiet and as reserved.
“Ten o’clock on a Monday morning,” I announced.
“Only you.”
Kofi closed the book in his hand and took a sip from his coffee. Steam escaped the warm liquid as he placed it on the table and stood. He wrapped his arms around me.
“Good morning.”
He returned to his seat, but not before sliding mine back.
“Good morning. You’re early.”
“And, finally realizing why your head is always in a book. Soon as I opened that one, she was busting that shit open. I’m taking that motherfucker home with me. I like her!”
“But, this time we’ll pay.”
“Who?”
“If we keep stealing from this beautiful business, we won’t have a place to meet for coffee a few Mondays out of the year at ten.”
“You know what, you’re right. You can pay for this one and the last one I stole. You owe me that, at least.”
“As well as an apology. And an explanation.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation, Rather. You’re a grown ass woman who was tossed into some shit head first–just like me. You coped with Priest. I coped by sticking my dick in every pussy I could get my hands on.”
With a shrug, he took another sip from his coffee.
“Ima be shitting. I can already feel it. You smell that?”
“Smell what?”
“That fart?”
“Kofi, please don’t make me puke. Why woul– Ugh.”
“You chose this place. I told you coffee makes my stomach bubble.”
With a roll of my eyes, I got to the point of our coffee date.
“You have to talk to your brother.”
Adamantly, Kofi shook his head.
“Priest and I met before everything with Chem happened. Before I got on the plane thinking I was going for a normal girls trip and would return in a few short days, I had already claimed him as mine. Physically, I’d given myself to him. Mentally, I’d shared myself with him. Emotionally, I had no ties but I had a deep desire for them. For him .
“For two years, I wished I’d had another night. Maybe two. Maybe four. No amount felt like it would’ve been enough. I was drawn to him. He was hard to forget. I had every intention of doing that, though, no matter how hard it was.
“When I came back and you laid out a set of rules, it deflated the dream I’d had of the beginning of our partnership. Immediately, I wanted to run back to him. Still, I didn’t know who he was. Not until he revealed himself to me at dinner the second time I had the pleasure of dining with the family. From that moment on, I couldn’t stay away. No matter how hard I tried. And, I tried. But, some things we have no control over.”
“My attraction and connection to Priest are some of those things. I’m sorry it all played out the way it did. But, the way things are right now, I can’t let them stay this way. He’s not himself lately. And, I doubt he will be until you pick up the phone for him or acknowledge his communication efforts when you’re in the same room.”
He sipped from his coffee, staring back at me.
“Say something.”
Shrugging, he sat it down.
“Priest is the man for the job, Rather. I can’t deny it and that’s why I’m not mad anymore. I was leading with my head and not my heart when I said the things I said to my brother and was willing to brawl with him about such nonsense.
“We’re bigger than that. We’re better than that. It is fucked up. Yes, in every fucking way. But, when it’s quiet and I really think about it… I wasn’t ready for you. I doubt I would’ve ever been ready for you because I never chose you. There would always be some borderline resentment because I didn’t have the privilege of choosing the woman I was to spend the rest of my life with. You chose Priest and that nigga chose you.
“He was willing to choose you over his position and his family. If that doesn’t tell a motherfucker y’all meant to be together then I don’t know what the fuck will. Because, I can look at you straight in the face and tell you right now–I’d never love you enough to choose you over my people.”
“So, what’s with the hostility?”
“He fucked up my pictures,” Kofi admitted with a straight face. “Now, I look like mush face in all the family wedding photos. I’ll never forgive that nigga for that shit. Him or that photographer. He won’t be taking nobody else’s pictures though.”
“Kofi– What have you done?”
“That’s for me to know and for you to find out, sis.”
He stood on his feet and stretched his limbs. He was preparing to leave, but I wasn’t quite ready for him to go. The weeks had been long and sometimes melancholy. I yearned for laughter and he could provide plenty of it.
“You’re leaving already?”
“Yeah. I’ve got shit to do. People waiting on me.”
“This is the most sane I’ve seen you since we met,” I admitted. “It’s almost bittersweet.”
“Your presence served its purpose, Rather. It was my wakeup call. It gave me a chance to sit my ass down for an entire week and begin planning for something I never saw myself part of.”
“What’s that?”
“The future. So, in a sense, everyone got what they wanted.”
Hearing Kofi confess what his family had known all along was disheartening. He was living life on the edge because he didn’t imagine making it into the future they were planning for him. He wasn’t rebellious. Kofi was afraid.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I suppose so.”
“Thanks for the book and the coffee. I look forward to seeing you more Mondays at ten o’clock.”
He tipped his head in my direction.
“Be careful, Kofi. The roads are slippery.”
“I’d never fuck up a pussy appointment by wrecking the whip,” he sniggered. “That’s not player.”
I yelled toward him, just as he took off in the other direction. “How is Hailey?”
“Hailey is good. Go see her at the bar. She’s waiting to gift you a martini.”
I’m waiting, too. See her soon.
With a smile, I sat back in my chair. A pleasant sigh escaped my lips as I dug into my purse to retrieve a pen. There was one more person I needed to see, but until she was ready, my written words had to suffice. On the small sheet of paper, I began the note to Kleigh that I would be stuffing inside her book and sending through the postal service.
Dear Kleigh,
I’m writing this note because I don’t want to bore you with too many of my words on paper. I’d much rather see your face, hug your body, and tell you that I am sorry for what I’ve done to push you away. I understand your frustration and the fact you might never want to talk to me again, but the truth of the matter is I won’t leave you a choice.
I value sisterhood. It’s made me who I am. The last thing I want to do is completely tarnish the relationship we were beginning to build. Despite everything that has happened, the fact of the matter is I love Priest and he loves you. My spirit won’t rest until you’re in my world, again. I miss you.
This is a fair warning. You have seven days to call me, send a date night invitation to my calendar, or show up at my house in new PJs. Otherwise, you’ll leave me no choice but to come find you, sit you down in my chair, and treat you like a client you don’t want to be until you promise all is forgiven.
I love you.
Rather Childers-Valentine .
I stared at the note on the table hoping it conveyed my truest emotions and feelings toward Kleigh’s absence. Just in case I needed to ball it up and trash it, I pulled out my cell and snapped a picture.
Too much or not enough? I sent the picture to my family’s group message. My mother was the first to respond.
No. It’s perfect.
Girl, not you begging. Roulette was second in line.
I think that’s sweet, but do you really need any more sisters? You have us.
Rome’s selfishness was the cutest thing. She wanted to be the last sister and only baby. Adding Kleigh to the bunch meant there would be another sibling amongst the younger crew that included her and I.
Seven days? Rugger questioned.
She’ll come around. I explained.
The rest of the girls approved the message, giving me the courage to drop it in the envelope I slid out of my purse, unfolded, and stuffed the book and note inside. I made my way to the counter and handed the cashier a fifty dollar bill.
Though she was clueless as to why I was giving it to her, she accepted it with a smile on her pretty face.
“For the two books my brother-in-law took without paying, as well as his coffee.”
“Oh,” she gasped, “Thank you.”
“No problem. Keep the change. This place deserves it.”
I exited Genre and headed to my car. The December cold was brutal, but the holiday cheer was plentiful.
“Whew.”
I rubbed my hands together to try and increase the heat between them. The postal box on the corner made my life so much easier. I slid the large envelope from underneath my elbow and into the slot before continuing down the street.
Inside my car, I was comforted by the warmth. Princeton was heavy on my mind. Caramel popcorn, homemade juice, carrot sticks, and Home Alone in the theater room under heated blankets was the ideal evening for us. I couldn’t wait to make it happen.
Priest was away for the day, so the car in the driveway was alarming. I drew closer to his home to see that it was Kleigh stepping out of her vehicle. The new set of wheels fit her well.
I cut into the driveway, eager to meet her at the door. She halted at the sight of me, realizing I wasn’t inside and was just pulling up, too. It was too cold outside to keep her waiting, so I increased my speed and exited my car with a little more urgency than usual.
Kleigh was shivering. Something deep within told me it wasn’t from the low temperature.
“I– I just sent your book off in the mail. What are you doing here?”
She angled the phone in my direction. Rugger’s face on the screen wasn’t surprising to me.
“Seriously, Rugger? I told you she’d come around. I could’ve waited seven days.”
“You gave her seven days. I gave her seven minutes. It doesn’t take that long to get around the bend and to her brother’s home.”
“Rug–”
“Kleigh now understands she’s not allowed to disregard your existence. We’re not there, so she is responsible for your sanity in our absence. She wanted a sister. She has seven now. Make this a lesson. We don’t run from one another. We sit tight and stick it out, whatever it might be. When the rollercoaster is over, we’ll all laugh about it. Isn’t that right, Kleigh?”
Kleigh nodded.
“Words. Use your words,” Rugger demanded.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
“Hang up on her,” I insisted, feeling a bit awful.
Rugger wasn’t for the weak. She always meant well but she always meant business. My torture tactics were almost equivalent to playdates in comparison to Rugger’s. She didn’t have a heart. I did.
“I can’t,” Kleigh whispered. “She said she’d, you know , kill me.”
She will . I avoided the outburst and ignored my intrusive thoughts.
“Yes you can and stop whispering. She’s a world away from us.”
She shook her head, adamant about her stance. “She feels near.”
“Trust me, she’s not. Hang up. You have my permis–”
Rugger ended the call so Kleigh wouldn’t have to. A sigh fell from her lips as her spine rounded and her mouth slacked.
“God, I thought today was my last day on earth.”
I pulled her in for a hug. She was theatrical. Her body was trembling and her heart was racing. I could feel it against my skin.
“Dear God, honey, calm down. We’ll have to give you a crash course on sisterhood before Rugger makes good on those promises.”
“Thank you. I’d really appreciate it.”
“I’m not serious,” I chuckled, “She wouldn’t. Most people don’t even know the damn girl can talk. The fact she’s talking to you says alot. Chaos– Quiet chaos is her language. Trust me. She’s just passionate about the people she loves. If she didn’t care for you, she wouldn’t be on your phone. She’d be at your door.”