29. Raegan
Chapter twenty-nine
Raegan
I scrub myself clean with such voracity that my skin burns bright pink under the scalding heat of the shower. Washing my hair is no less violent. I attack my body with soaps like it was the one who destroyed me with a single sentence. Whether he knows it or not, Aiden saw through to my weakest link and plucked it out with so much contempt that my sanity almost crumpled to ash at his feet.
He can’t know the truth.
But it’s terrifying how close he came to it.
Seeing my weakness and attacking it must be his true superpower, because no one else has ever come that close. He knows exactly how to dig under my skin and get to me no matter how many walls I’ve erected to keep others out.
I hate him.
I hate him.
Hot tears glide down my cheeks as I slam my fist into the shower tiles repeatedly. My body slides down the wall to a heap at the bottom. I curl my head between my legs and let grief over what I’d lost and who I’ve had to become consume me in silence.
My hands and feet are tight and wrinkled when I shut the water off and drag myself out. My skin is overheated, so I lie naked on the bathroom floor to cool down. Not that it’s much, considering the bathroom has become a sauna so thick I can hardly see a thing.
Once I feel strong enough to move again, I open the door and inhale the cool air of my apartment. I’m tempted to call Kellan over tonight. As a big fuck you to Aiden. And then Jackson’s words about using him as just a distraction filter into my mind, and I abandon that idea. I never meant to use him like that. Either of them.
They deserve better than that.
Better than me.
At least I have Portia.
Wrapping a towel around myself, I move to hunt down my cell phone. Huh, no missed calls or messages. She was supposed to call me when she got home over an hour ago.
I press call and start fixing my hair. It rings to voicemail. I try it again. Voicemail.
Did she fall asleep? I know I saw her walking back into the building.
I dress quickly and step out my door, then knock on hers. I’m not expecting an answer if she’s sleeping so, I enter in the code and then let myself in .
The apartment is dark.
Portia hates the dark.
I flick on the light and stare at the open room.
There’s a bag on the floor and a note on the table. Dread grips my heart as I run to it and snatch it up.
Rae, I’m sorry for doing this without any warning. I need to get away for a bit to clear my head. I don’t know how long I will be or where I’m going, but I promise I’ll call you once I’ve settled in somewhere so I can fill you in on everything. Hopefully, you can come visit me then and you’ll have vanquished the evil GE guys so we can celebrate! I know you’ll win. Stay strong and kick some ass.
Love You!! Xoxoxo
Portia
I read the letter again and chew on my lips. I thought she would wait for me. Or Elias, at least.
Elias will be home tomorrow. Is that why?
Hurt that she’d leave with a note rather than saying goodbye aches in my chest.
But then I think better of it.
She’s safer away from me. I need to get my shit figured out and done before I can go see her and help her like I promised I would.
I sigh and tuck her note into my pocket just as my phone rings. Portia’s name flashes on the screen, and I smile .
Well, that didn’t take long. At least we can still stay in touch while she’s on her journey.
“Miss me already?” I tease when the call connects.
“Oh, I do,” a male voice replies instead. Alarm hits me like a lightning strike.
“Where’s Portia?” I demand, my hand gripping the phone like it’s this person’s neck when I find them. “Who is this?”
“She’s here. And I’m your good friend, Joe. Have you missed me while I’ve been gone? I hear you’ve been looking for me.”
I fight to keep my voice calm and even. Of all people, how and why did he pick Portia? Because of you. By association. “I have. Now, let her go. I can meet you wherever you want. You can bring Portia and I’ll go with you without a fuss. No weapons. No fighting. I swear it.”
He chuckles and it feels like bugs crawling under my skin. “Well, that does sound like a nice deal. To you , maybe. However, I saw what this girl is capable of when I played back the tapes in my office the day you stole from me . You have someone who belongs to me. I’ll have her back first. I’m being fined per day that she’s gone by the ingrates at GE, so she must be returned promptly and unharmed.”
Unharmed? What the fuck does he think we’re doing to her? This man is deranged if he believes he treated her best.
“Fine,” I lie. I have no fucking clue how I will trick him into believing I have that girl with me, but I can work out the details later. All that matters is arranging a time and a place for me to rescue Portia before anything happens to her.
“I knew you could be reasonable. Bring the girl and yourself, alone of course, and then I’ll release your friend.”
“It feels a bit like I’m losing out on this deal, trading two for one.”
“My dear Raegan, there is no winning for you any longer. Either you come with me and I’ll take care of you, and I can promise that is as close to a win as you can get, or Gordon gets you back.”
My blood chills, and nausea rakes up my throat.
“That’s what I thought. You have two days. I’ll text you the location with just enough time for you to get there, so be ready.”
“I want to talk to her. Put Portia on the phone so I know you actually have her.”
“She’s still sleeping soundly, and I’d hate to interrupt that. I’ll be sure to give you a ring when she’s up though.”
The call ends before I can ask anything more. I stare ahead as my mind wheels over what to do. I would never turn Isabel back over to him or GE, let alone any other child. All I can think of is a dressed up and painted mannequin in my seat and pray that fools him enough to get out of his car so I can attack him.
There’s a high chance he’ll have guards or more help from GE, so I’ll have to take them down too.
I need to make sure I’m locked and loaded with weapons before I go. I’m sure Jackson will lend me more if I ask for them, as long as I don’t ask for anything that would make him take notice something is off.
I spin around to go back to my apartment and slam into a hard body.
“Just where do you think you’re going, beautiful?”
I blink up in surprise at Kellan. Jackson leans against the wall behind him.
“When did—”
“Oh, sometime during your call with that sleazy piece of shit.” My eyes widen and he nods. “Yeah, I heard him. And all about your little deal. That is a hard fuck no . You aren’t turning yourself in. I have a feeling you’d do some self-sacrificial shit for that friend of yours and the chance to take that guy out.”
“But—”
“No,” he growls savagely.
I try to storm out the door around him, but Jackson side-steps in front of the door.
“We came to check on you after all the GE activity tonight, little one.” His head angles. “It looks like that was the right call.”
Kellan steps up behind me, blocking me between them. “We’re going back to the safe house and we’ll figure this out. Together. We’re not losing you again.”
My chest burns at his words. I want them so badly it hurts. But Aiden’s words are still fresh in my mind, and I refuse to let them waste their time and attention on me anymore.
“I’m not getting anyone else involved in my mess,” I argue hotly. “She’s my friend. I’m the one who let her come with me to his house where he spotted her. He also wants me for whatever fucked up reason. Point is, none of that has anything to do with you. Get out of my way.”
I try to duck out the side, but Kellan blocks me with his arm.
“It has everything to do with us,” Jackson counters in his low, haunting voice .
“Are you going to behave, or do I have to carry you?” Kellan asks.
“If you think I’m going to take any help from that dick , Aiden, or that Dane would ever help me, then you’re crazy and—Argh! Put me down!” I beat my hands against Kellan’s back where I’m once again hanging over the back of his shoulder.
I call on my gift, ready to fight them both if I have to, to get away. There’s no reason for them to get involved in this. I can take care of it myself.
Jackson tsks from behind me and gathers my hair in his hands. “If we’re planning on rescuing your friend as soon as possible, it’s not a good idea to waste your gift on Kell.” He twists my hair and secures it with something at the back of my neck. His fingers trail from the bun up my neck to my jaw, where he tilts it to the side, so we’re eye to eye.
“If you think either of us are going to let you go at anything alone again, then we’re not the crazy ones.”
The heat of my gift dies to a simmer and then peters out.
“One hour,” I concede quietly. “If that time is spent bickering and not finding Portia, then I’m leaving and doing it myself.”
Jack smiles, and Kellan chuckles beneath me.
I take that as agreement when they don’t argue with me.
Even if it kind of feels like that might not be the case.
I draw a deep breath to ready myself before we walk into the vulture’s nest. The safe house. But it’s where both Aiden and Dane circle me with words that cut and pick and tear me to shreds, so it seems fitting.
I’m dressed to the nines for war, which should be clue enough for them that I’m not here for verbal annihilation like last time.
We stopped at Kit’s apartment so I could send a message to Elias straight away as I’d promised I would if anything happened to Portia. When he didn’t answer, I’d been forced to write a quick note and shove it under his door.
“What are we waiting for?” Kell teases me with a wink and throws the door open.
It bangs against the wall, and Dane’s head pops up from his desk as he scrambles for his gun. His eyes are half-lidded like he’d been passed the fuck out.
Aiden appears down the hallway.
Naked.
And dripping wet.
“You’d both better have an explanation for what she’s doing here. I just kicked her out a few hours ago.” Aiden doesn’t even bother trying to cover himself up. He stands there without shame, his arms folded, staring us down with disapproval.
It’s an internal battle to keep my eyes above his hips. I mean, I hate his guts so it’s not like I’m doing this out of any respect or kindness. I just don’t want him to catch me and think it means something. Then I’d never hear the end of it.
Dane’s put the gun down and is rubbing at his eyes while yawning. It reminds me of a grumpy cat that’s annoyed for having his nap disturbed.
“Some of us need sleep to function,” he grumbles and then gets caught in another yawn. The usual snarky tone he’s been using around me is dull and sleepy. And almost cute.
Almost.
“ She ,” I start, finding a point on the wall above Aiden’s shoulder to stare at, “is here to cash in on one of the many favors you owe her.” His brows lift in surprise. “Oh, and you did not kick me out. I left because I was done with the conversation.”
He smirks at me and my arms quiver with the need to knock it off his face.
“Did you? Or was it something I said?”
“Nothing you say can make me do anything.”
Aiden looks almost smug at that, and I add sharply, “Did you plan on me slapping you, too?”
Kellan whistles and laughs. “Did she now?”
Aiden merely shrugs. “You could’ve done better.”
“Oh yeah? Come over here and I’ll make sure I do it right this time. Maybe the other side so it matches.” I step forward and start to raise my hand at my side.
Jackson steps in front of me. His blue eyes catch mine and my focus pulls completely to him. I drop my hand. “I wouldn’t normally interrupt, but you have more important things to be doing, little one.”
Portia.
I take a deep breath to settle my anger with Aiden. For now, at least .
Dane scoffs from his computer chair. “Like what?”
Well, I guess he’s awake now, because that harsh tone of voice is back.
“Get dressed,” Kellan tells Aiden. He plants his hand down on the back of the couch and then uses it to launch himself over and onto the cushions. “We’ll fill you in when I don’t have to stare at your shriveled-up cock and balls.”
My eyes inadvertently fall to fact-check what Kellan’s said. They are not shriveled. His long dick is hanging at half-mast as if we’d interrupted him while he’d been showering and he hasn’t been distracted enough to lose it completely yet.
I look back up to his face and he’s staring right at me.
Of-fucking-course he caught me.
“Hurry up,” I snap at him, then move to lean forward against the back of the couch. I can’t sit down or sit still until Portia’s back and safe.
Jackson hops up on the back of the couch. He tosses an orange my way out of nowhere, and I catch it on reflex. “Eat.”
I tear open the skin in pieces and drop it on the floor as a later gift and surprise for Aiden. Even though my stomach is twisted in knots, I force myself to eat the fruit.
Dane eventually joins us in the living room and sits on the furthest end of the couch from me. He kicks his socks up on the coffee table and leans into the couch, his hands burying themselves in his front hoodie pocket.
For once, we’re all quiet.
It’s almost like old times, if not for the layer of tension radiating between us all and reminding me that those times are long gone.
Aiden stands at the edge of the living area. He’s dressed in military-esque clothing that accentuates the muscles in his biceps and makes my mouth water. “All right, Jackson. You tell us what happened.”
“Why him?” I burst out before I can stop myself.
“Because he’ll get straight to the point.”
Jackson chuckles and leans his face against his fist. “Her friend, Portia, was kidnapped by the congressman.”
“And we’re going after her, I presume?”
“We? No, I just need your help to find her. I’ll get her back myself,” I answer first.
Aiden casts his gaze over Kellan and Jackson, then lands on me. “That may have been your plan, but it’s not the one they’ll follow. We will assist you in getting her back.”
“I get Jack and Kellan going in to help me, but why would you?”
He scoffs and crosses his arms while widening his stance. “I don’t expect you to understand, but I’ll stand by my brothers if they’re running into danger to make sure we all come home. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure we stick together.”
“Not to mention our Guild mates might be held where she is,” Dane adds. I notice he refuses to look at me during this conversation as if he’s pretending I’m not actually here.
Which is…fine. It’s better than being held at gunpoint.
He stands and returns to his U-shape desk of monitors. “I’ll start checking cameras around your building tonight to see if I can follow them.”
Aiden nods and pulls his phone out. “I’ll call the scout team back in to rest and be on standby to go back out.”
A ringtone sounds and we look expectantly at Aiden’s phone. Then they look at me and I realize my pocket is vibrating. There’s only one person it could be.
I yank my phone out and flip it open.
“Portia?!”
Screaming pierces through the speaker into my ear and echoes in the room.