18. Cas #2
I miss them so much. It’s an ache that sits right in my core whilst my wolf whines and begs for their presence. Longing for a future he might not get, if Declan does what I think he plans to do.
I halt on the path, unwilling to walk to the edge. Declan doesn’t slow, dragging me along with him to the precipice. We reach the edge, the wind whipping at my hair and making my eyes water. Goosebumps spread over my body, and my teeth chatter with the cold dread that fills me.
“Right,” Declan says conversationally, “you’re going to tell me what you are.
No lies, you hear me? Or I’ll let you fall.
” To demonstrate, he yanks me flush to his body so that I’m practically dangling above the drop.
Only his hold keeps me from falling into the deep waters below, so I clutch at his clothing, hating the desperation he’s wrought from me.
“Why do you need to know?” I ask, my voice so small it’s almost snatched away by the wind.
Declan looks down at me, his eyes so like Kato’s when you first meet them. Unlike Kato’s, Declan’s are flinty and cold. Dead. Lifeless. “Because I don’t like secrets.”
I inhale sharply. “I don’t know what will happen if I tell you.
” My voice comes out stronger this time, and I jut my chin out, not letting him intimidate me.
I escaped Bash all by myself. I don’t need to be scared of an alpha like Declan, not even when I’m teetering on the ledge of a cliff with the churning sea below ready to swallow me whole.
Declan studies me, his gaze puncturing like sharp needles. He’d probably flay me open if he could get away with it. I don’t intend to let him do anything of the sort, however.
Reckless, foolish courage fills me. I loosen my grip on his jacket, letting myself fall further backwards. His eyes widen and he tightens his hold.
“Do you have a death wish?” he hisses.
I shake my head, feeling bolder now. “No. But I’m not scared of death. Not anymore.”
To my surprise, he pulls us away from the cliff’s edge and releases me. I’m still far closer than I’d like to be, but with his scent no longer invading my senses I can breathe freely again. He could still push me, send me tumbling to the waters below. I doubt it, though. He wants information.
Declan’s face settles back into his usual sneer, lip curled, teeth slightly bared. “Fine. Do I need to be concerned about my nephew dying, thanks to your strange physiology? Are you pregnant? Is it true that you’ll kill him if you are?”
I swallow around the lump that’s formed in my throat. The ground feels unstable beneath my feet, and I have to concentrate hard on staying on my swaying legs.
Declan knows.
“Yes,” I force out. “If I’m pregnant, then we’re dead.”
“Then for your sake, you’d better hope he hasn’t knocked you up.
” He makes a show of thinking, humming to himself.
“I suppose if you were, I could simply rip it out of you. It might be the only thing that stands between Kato and death, and I’m not having my brother upset that I’ve let his child die.
We’re barely on speaking terms as it is. ”
Bile rises in my throat at the idea of him ripping anything from my body—wanted or not.
“Your unnatural heats,” he continues. “How you sent half the pack into rut.” His eyes dart down my body to where I’ve got my arms banded around my stomach, hugging myself tightly, as if by squeezing hard enough I might hold myself together.
“Are you here to undermine my leadership? Did one of the lowland pack leaders send you here juiced up on heat inducers to sow disarray amongst my ranks?”
My mouth falls open, but I’m unable to form words. He believes I’m some sort of spy? An omega honeypot, of sorts. I’d laugh if I weren’t certain he’d chuck me off the cliff.
I shake my head vehemently, my hair whipping around my face. “I’m not part of some rival pack!”
Declan’s voice turns low and dangerous. “I asked Kato to keep an eye on you and instead you seduced him into mating you. Which—according to you and you alone—will get him killed. Now, I do trust that Kato believes you. I also trust in Niall’s opinion that he can’t tell if you’re pregnant yet.
I want to make something perfectly clear, though.
” He takes a step forward. There’s nowhere for me to go—with Declan at my front, the cliff’s edge at my back—so I stay rooted in place as he looms over me.
I try to hold his gaze and not flinch away. “I don’t believe you, Casper.”
I don’t want to tell him the whole truth. Not that there’s anything in my past he can use against me, but revealing my past to this alpha feels too wrong, too vulnerable, too close to flaying myself open.
My chest hurts when I think about my mates. It’s a physical ache that only intensifies my longing. Everyone else has been taken away from me; of course they have too. Just once I’d like not to be abandoned, to not be the one left behind.
Declan looks smug. Maybe he thinks he’s finally shut me up. I feel even worse for Eden—not only is his mate an arsehole, but he’s stupid and pathetic, nothing more than a playground bully throwing his weight around.
I glance behind me at the churning sea. “You’re gonna chuck me down there, aren’t you?”
“I would, if there weren’t a high chance you’d drown. Don’t forget—my loyalty to my brother and care for Kato is the only reason you’re walking away from here today.”
“Care?” I ask, incredulous. “You can’t care for him at all if you’re separating him from his mates.”
“Don’t let me see your face again,” Declan says simply. “Because it’ll be the last thing you do.” And then all I have is the view of his back as he stalks away, leaving me alone at the cliff’s edge.
Huh. I thought Declan would do something much worse. The relief has me feeling a little off-balance and a lot light-headed.
I honestly wouldn’t have put medieval torture past him. Public shaming. Lashes. Stocks. Whatever that expanding pear that gets inserted into your butt is called. That sort of thing.
“Wait, what about Nate?” I call after Declan, taking a wobbly step towards the path. “Where is he?”
Declan doesn’t give me an answer. He’s disappeared out of sight. I let out a deep, long breath and rub at my legs, gooseflesh dotting my cold skin.
If there’s one place I know Nathan will go, it’s his cabin. Walking there on foot from here will be impossible; in this weather I’ll die of exposure within hours.
I haven’t wanted to be in the skin of my wolf, but it’s my only option if I’m to make it to the cabin alive.
I close my eyes, seeking him. He’s buried deeper than usual, further away than ever.
My fault. I’ve pushed him down, down, down, every moment I’ve been here, not letting my desire to be on four legs take over.
It seems now I have no choice.
Shifting takes longer than usual. My wolf can sense my caution—worrying over what will happen should my womb not shift with me. During my escape I’d been too panicked to consider the risks, too desperate to get as far away from Bash as possible.
I suppose I’m in the same position now. Stay and risk Declan’s wrath, or shift and make a run for it and hope James did a better job on the inside of my body than the outside. It held together before, I remind myself.
Before I can overthink any longer, I close my eyes, relinquishing control to my wolf. The change ripples through me as my body remakes itself.
I open my eyes, everything now in sharper focus.
I take a cautious step and then another, padding along the cliff’s edge.
My balance is solid, my paws quick and sure.
As my wolf, I can sense the pack border where it ends scant feet from the drop into the choppy sea below.
He’s given me no option but to follow the coastline.
Even on four legs, it’ll take time to round the border and make it to Nathan’s cabin, where it sits—thankfully—outside of Declan’s lands.
With my plan in mind, I trot along the cliff, my white fur rippling in the wind, using my nose to guide me.
For a time, I scent only the salt of the sea and the occasional gull’s nest until I finally detect a faint trail of scents leading to a path that winds down and away from the cliff.
Lengthening my stride, I follow it, running until the grass disappears under nests of purple heather.
I can’t resist taking a short rest atop some, my exhaustion finally catching up to me.
Fat bumblebees buzz near my ears as I pant, catching my breath and calibrating my direction.
One thing is for certain—Nathan and Kato are no longer together.
When I focus on our bond, I can sense two distinct paths, one towards pack lands, one further away.
Despite my heartache at our separation, the knowledge that I won’t be alone much longer spurs me on, and I rise from the heather, taking off with a burst of speed.
I’ll find Nathan. And then together, we’ll figure out what the fuck we’re going to do about getting our other mate back.
I fly through the long grass, bounding over rocks and logs that get in my way as I follow my instincts.
They’re leading me to Nathan, like he’s the true north on my personal compass.
I pick up my pace, my compulsive need to reach him overwhelming.
I feel him before I see him. Even in my chest he’s big, taking up space like he does in life. There’s a red blur through the trees and then he’s here, skidding to a halt before me.