Chapter 33
Tobias
We spend the entire day on the road, and when we reach the next venue, we’re two states away from where we were attacked. A bit of the tension in my chest eases. We aren’t technically safe anywhere, but being so far away from the last hellbeast sighting is comforting.
Surely, we’ve gotten them off our tail, though I don’t know how long it’ll take for them to catch up to us again.
We order Chinese takeout, and even though I’m dying to find fresh energy to replenish what I expended in the fight, I’m still too weak to leave the bus. It feels like I was shoved through a meat grinder, the slices in my skin aching with every movement.
One more day and I should feel well enough to venture out.
Joseline and Emrys make small talk over their food, and I lounge on the couch, my mind wandering too much for me to keep up. I have so many questions, so many uncertainties. I knew everything would blow up in our faces eventually, but this is brutal. My head fucking aches from thinking.
No matter how many times I drag them away, my eyes always seem to find their way back to Joseline. Even now, as she laughs and jokes with our keyboardist, she’s nothing but fire and passion. Warmth and light.
Everything a demon like me craves but doesn’t deserve.
Things have been tense and a little awkward between us—oddly cordial, all things considered—and I know it’s because of the questions we both have. They consume my mind any time I sit still for too long, tugging me apart from the inside.
What happens now? Do we go back to normal? Do we acknowledge the tension between us? Do we let it die?
I shift on the couch, dragging my eyes away yet again. I stare across the bus at a notch in the wall, fighting the churn of emotions that well anytime I think about her.
Trying to stay away from her at this point is… well, pointless. Our fates are intertwined, whether I want to admit it or not. We’re connected, but I still don’t know what that looks like going forward.
Do I attempt to put these feelings into words? Or do I ignore them and just see what happens? Do I drag her into my bed and fuck her with abandon, hoping my cock answers all the questions she refuses to ask?
Thankfully, someone knocks on the bus door, derailing my train of thought.
I flinch, my eyes jumping toward the door as it opens, but it’s just Sebastian and Niki with the baby. Niki looks rested and energized—at least someone does—and Sebastian looks like he got his ass beat, which he did.
“You look like shit.” His eyes narrow on me.
“Good to see you too.” I nod at him, and he takes a seat across from me. Niki joins him, cradling the swaddled baby in her arms.
“My turn, my turn,” Joseline squeaks, abandoning her plate and hurrying to take the baby. Her face instantly lights up, a smile brightening her features, as she whispers nonsense to the bundle in her arms.
She slowly rocks back and forth on the spot, swaying like she’s done this a million times, and I watch in awe. She looks so maternal. The way she cradles the baby against her chest is perfect in a way I could have never imagined.
Something primal ignites in my chest at the sight. I like seeing her like that, with a baby in her arms. Though children are almost certainly out of the question for me, I know she’d be a fantastic mother. That alone sparks another flicker of doubt in my mind.
How could I possibly ask her to be with me knowing I’d be depriving her of something she clearly desires?
Even now, I can see her with children and a husband, living her life carefree and happy.
Jealousy flares in my chest at the idea of a fictional man making all her dreams come true, but I shake my head and the thoughts from it.
“I’m glad you’re alive.” Niki grins when her eyes fall on me. “We thought you were a goner for a bit.”
“I thought so too.” I chuckle, very aware of how lucky I am to be sitting here right now.
Joseline shifts, slowly walking over to sit next to me on the couch, and I can’t take my eyes off her. She doesn’t even look in my direction, though, because she’s cooing at the baby.
“I wanted to personally thank you, Tobias. You saved us,” Niki goes on, drawing my attention from Joseline. “We might not be here if not for you.”
Her eyes are misted with tears, which knots my insides and has my throat feeling unusually tight.
I don’t know what to say; nothing feels appropriate. Finally, I nod and clear my throat. “You’re welcome.”
“Do you want to hold the baby?” Joseline interrupts. My eyes bounce from her to the baby and back, discomfort twisting my insides.
“I don’t… That’s not really…” I stammer, fear prickling over my skin. The thought of holding a newborn baby is more terrifying than taking on a swarm of hellbeasts.
“Of course you do!” She grins and shifts to place the infant in my arms.
My chest tightens as she shows me how to hold it, and every muscle in my body tenses. When her hands disappear, my stomach turns, and I clutch the bundle a little tighter.
What if I fucking drop it? Sebastian would have me shredded into confetti in seconds.
My eyes finally fall to the cherub-faced baby. Her cheeks are round, her nose slightly upturned. Little dark curls cover her head. She’s the most perfect little thing I’ve ever seen.
I hold my breath, nerves taking over. I've never held something so fragile, so impossibly delicate, and my heart clenches hard at the thought of hurting her.
This accident.
This miracle.
She was never supposed to exist, never supposed to survive, but here she is. In the flesh. The product of Sebastian and Niki’s bond.
I immediately know that I'll protect her at all costs. I'd lay down my life for this miniature human, slay an army if it meant keeping her safe.
"What's her name?" I ask, fighting past the lump in my throat.
"Kacie," Sebastian answers, and I'm finally able to pry my eyes away from the newborn's face.
He’s staring at me casually from the other sofa, hands folded in his lap. Surely, I heard him wrong.
"Come again?"
“I don’t think you understand how grateful I am for you, Kaseilon,” Sebastian explains. “Everything I have, my life, my family, could have been ripped away from me, if not for you. So, we decided to name her after you. Her name is Kacie Tova Porter.”
The information is like a punch to the gut, twisting up every emotion I didn’t know I possessed, but before I can even process the information, I’m hit again out of nowhere.
“Kaseilon?” My demon name on Joseline’s tongue is enough to knock the air out of my lungs, and my head snaps in her direction.
The word has never been spoken by a human before, and dark power licks through my veins at the acknowledgment. Just her knowing it is enough for a faint tether between us to snap into place. An invisible string that ties us together.
I force air into my lungs as our eyes remain locked, the desire to own her soul calling to every inch of me. The sudden need is painful, burning through me, but I do my best to tamp it down.
It would be so easy to claim her right here, right now, but I don’t want an audience. Especially considering everything I plan to do to her. If she swears herself to me, I won’t have a shred of self-restraint left.
Every inch of her will belong to me.
She’ll be mine.