Chapter 36
Joseline
Tobias must have told Emrys not to come back to the bus—or he stayed away of his own volition—because when I wake up in the morning, his bed is still empty. That’s a relief because Tobias and I are butt ass naked beneath the covers.
My cheeks heat at the thought of him showing up before we get dressed, like I’m a teenager afraid to be caught. I snicker at the thought.
“What’s so funny?” Tobias grumbles with his eyes still closed.
“Just thinking,” I admit. I stare at the profile of his face for a long minute, studying the features I know so well, until a golden eye pops open to stare at me. “How are you so lively this early?”
I open my mouth to argue that I’m not lively, but I snap it closed again. To be honest, I have more energy than I should considering I got my back blown out for most of the night. Every time I dozed off, he’d wake me up for another round, until I lost count.
“A good dicking does wonders for the soul.” I shrug. “And I guess I’m just… happy.”
The word hangs in the air between us before Tobias opens his mouth to say something. I quickly slap my hand over his mouth and shush him, shaking my head.
“Please don’t ruin it,” I beg. “Just a few more minutes, then you can go back to being a pain in the ass.”
His eyes narrow, and he presses a kiss to my palm before pulling my hand away. “Why do you always assume I’m going to be a giant dickhead?”
I snort a laugh before I realize he’s serious. “Um, because you’re the king of assholes. No one does it better than you, sir.”
He shakes his head and rolls to face me, laying on his side. The intensity of his gaze has my insides fluttering, but I try to ignore it. It’s unfair how I instantly turn to mush around Tobias. A crime, really.
“Tell me you hate it,” he says, his voice flat.
“I hate it.”
“Now, tell me without lying.”
Heat creeps up my neck, and I press my lips together firmly.
Does he get on every one of my nerves without apology? Yes. Do I want to punch him in the throat sometimes? Sure. But when he was dying in front of me, and I thought I’d never hear his snark again, something in me broke.
The truth, which we both know, is that I don’t hate him at all.
“That’s what I thought.” He smirks, knowing he has me pinned. His hand comes up to cup my cheek, and I close my eyes at the touch. Something about his hands on me always feels so right in a way I can never explain.
Whatever this is between us, it’s too perfect for me to run from or pretend like it’s nothing. When I open my eyes again, he’s still staring at me, a furrow of concern formed between his pinched brows.
“What?”
“Your energy is weird,” he admits softly. “What is it?”
Fuck. He might as well be reading my mind for how well he picks up on the shifts in my mood.
“It’s…” The word trails off as my mind spirals.
I don’t even know what it is, besides a jumble of confusing thoughts and emotions. Conflicting feelings. Hypotheticals.
He squeezes my chin gently to get my attention.
“Joseline,” he says, the word cutting through the white noise in my head.
I sigh. “I don’t know. I just… what are we doing?”
His features contort with confusion. “Laying in bed. Are you okay?”
“No shit. I mean… what are we doing?” I gesture between us. “What is this? Another one-night stand that we pretend didn’t happen? Some weird frenemies situation?” A weight sinks in my stomach, and my mouth goes dry. “If I’m honest, I don’t think I can do that.”
A muscle in his jaw ticks, and his hand falls away from my face. For a moment, he just stares at me like I’ve said something wrong. Tense seconds drag by, and my skin flames.
“What do you want?” he finally asks.
I shake my head firmly. “You first. What do you want, Kaseilon?”
At his name, he tenses, something dark flickering behind his eyes. He shifts closer, propping himself up on his elbow so he’s looking down at me. The hint of a smile lifts the corner of his mouth, but it disappears right after.
“This isn’t at all how I wanted to have this conversation, but since we’re here…
” He drags a hand over his face. “I’m not good, Joseline.
I live my life in the shadows, with masks and disguises.
I can’t give you the life you deserve.” His voice is raspy, his words perfectly calculated, like he’s practiced this speech to himself a hundred times.
“Anything you could have with me would be constrained, limited. You can’t want that. ”
“Funny, I didn’t think your powers included telepathy,” I say, my throat tight. “Or was that a lie?”
“This isn’t a joke.”
“Good thing I’m not joking.” I try to keep my expression neutral, but I can feel my pulse picking up. The room suddenly feels hotter, and I’m probably blushing.
His mouth dips into a frown. “Joseline, I—”
“Are you denying me?”
“No, I—”
“Then, what?” My voice comes out a little strained.
“You don’t have feelings for me, is that it?
You don’t want me.” I swallow hard, fighting to keep my voice level.
“I want you, asshole. Even if we can’t go out in public.
Even if we always have to worry about hellbeasts.
Hell, even if we’re on the run for the rest of our lives.
” I sigh, hating how pathetic I sound, but relieved to get it off my chest. “Why is it so hard to believe that I could want to be with you, despite everything?”
He cups my face in his hands and drags me against him, our lips a hairsbreadth apart.
“Because I've never loved someone the way I love you.
Because I want you to have everything you could ever dream of, everything you deserve.
The thought of you leaving pains me so badly it's hard to breathe when I think about it, but I'd suffer every day if it meant you were happy without me.”
My chest seizes, and I have to force air into my lungs.
Tobias just said he loves me.
Holy shit. I'm pretty sure I broke this demon.
His lips are so close now, but I wait, despite the ache to feel them against mine. When my voice finally comes out, it's barely more than a whisper. “Then stop torturing yourself and claim me, Kaseilon. I'm yours.”
He hesitates, his eyes searching mine for any hint of reluctance, but he won't find it. I've made up my mind. I've chosen my future.
And it's him.
Something in him snaps, and his lips crash against mine. His tongue chases mine desperately, and he rolls on top of me without breaking our kiss, settling between my thighs.
“Say it again,” he demands, his voice gruff.
I lock my arms behind his neck, dragging him closer. “I’m yours.”
He lines his cock up and thrusts it into me with a single punch of his hips. I sigh at the fullness and moan against his mouth as he fucks with with slow, deep strokes.
“Again,” he groans, reaching up to tangle one of his hands in my hair.
A smile tugs at my lips. “I’m yours.”
“Again.”
I obey over and over, moaning the words like a prayer until I’m coming on his cock. My pussy clenches around him, and I bite his shoulder to muffle my scream, squeezing my eyes closed as wave after wave of pleasure slams into me.
“Fuck, you’re so perfect,” Tobias says, picking up his pace. “Fucking perfect and fucking mine.”
I swallow his groan with a kiss as he thrusts into me a final time, his cock twitching as he pumps me full of cum yet again. How he still has any to spare after fucking me all night is beyond me, but I’m not complaining.
Thank absolute fuck for birth control. The last thing anyone needs is another half-demon baby running around.
When I settle against his chest again, he pulls me close, like he’s afraid to let go. It might just be the most endearing thing he’s ever done, until he outdoes himself right after.
“I love you,” he says softly into my hair. I don’t even know if he meant for me to hear it, but I can’t deny the way my heart stutters at the words.
Yep. I’m pretty sure I broke him.
“I love you too.” My words are equally as soft, and I close my eyes as he runs his fingers through my hair.
Of all the unexpected things to happen over the last few months, falling in love with a demon is definitely in my top five.
And now that I’m here, I wouldn’t have it any other way.