Chapter 23
The stone in her pocket warmed as she walked, alone, down the steps towards the Citadel.
She didn’t answer, partly because she was in shock.
And partly because she didn’t think she could tell Arawn about her fate.
The stone went cold again by the time she reached the courtyard, passing by the swords driven deep into the snow.
She wondered if Kinlear would soon have one to join them.
He truly wished to go north. All the way north, to face an enemy he knew little of. To kill him.
And hope that it would be enough to stop the war.
She felt shaky and utterly frozen, so she ducked inside, making her way through the halls until she came to the set of twin golden doors that marked the bathhouse.
A cloud of fragrant steam billowed out when she opened the doors.
‘Gods,’ Ezer said, choking on the sudden heat. But it was wonderful. The warmest thing she’d felt since leaving Rendegard’s southern sea wind behind. She instantly removed her cloak. The steam smelled like eucalyptus, earthy and vibrant enough to open her senses in a rush.
The walls were rounded dark rock, the ceilings low over her head. Water trickled down them, a delicate, natural sound that had her instantly sighing as she stepped further inside, following the torches that lined the walls.
The room widened when she came to the end of the tunnel.
Her jaw dropped.
It was an enormous rock cavern, utterly filled with natural hot spring pools. Delicate gold light emanated from each pool, from runes that marked their bottoms. Steam danced from each of them, clouding the entire space with an otherworldly haze.
A servant in a brown cloak tended to one of the pools. There were eels swimming inside it, every few seconds sending sparks of blue into the water until it bubbled hot and blazing.
Ezer made a point to avoid that pool.
She cleared her throat awkwardly, and the servant glanced up and spent a few moments walking her through the various benefits of each one. It was the Sacred bathing chambers, with healing properties inside each pool.
‘Your clothing will be laundered and returned before you conclude your time here,’ the servant explained. ‘You could use a deep clean, my dear.’
Ezer couldn’t disagree.
The servant left to give her privacy, and soon she’d piled her robes upon a rock and was standing stark naked in the middle of the cavern, her arms wrapped around her middle as she crept to one of the steaming pools … ensuring first that there were no eels inside.
Only softly glowing golden runes, their shapes morphed by the rippling water.
A sigh left her lips as she dipped her toes in.
And then she decidedly dove in, submerging herself beneath the soothing waters.
She came up feeling immediately refreshed, washed clean and – gods, her muscles felt instantly loose, all the knots and bumps and bruises painless for the first time in weeks.
She leaned with her back against the warmed stones, the water bubbling gently around her.
She’d just closed her eyes, allowed herself to relax into the moment, the water barely covering the curve of her breasts when she heard footsteps.
And she looked up, horrified, to find Arawn.
Standing half naked in the steam, with only a small towel around his bare waist.
‘Away!’ Ezer yelped and submerged herself up to her neck in the hot waters, praying the steam on the surface hid every bit of her bare skin. He just stood there awkwardly, wide-eyed as a deer faced by a hunter in the woods. ‘Look away!’
‘I’m sorry,’ he blurted, and turned away so fast his towel slid further down his hips. ‘I didn’t see anything.’
But she certainly could. She could see the small of his back, the rippling muscles, the steam clinging to his scarred skin …
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked.
He was staring at the wall.
He was so damned close to a torch it nearly licked the top of his pale white braid. ‘I tried the stone twice today, and you didn’t answer.’
‘Because I didn’t want to!’ she yelped.
His voice softened. ‘I came to check on you.’
‘Congratulations, you’ve checked on me. You can go now.’ She reached for a towel, but it was too far away. Gods be damned. ‘Don’t turn around.’
She would die if he saw her naked. Had he seen her naked?
She lunged out of the water awkwardly, hissing as she scraped her bare stomach upon the stones. She gripped the fabric and pulled it to her, covering herself before she’d even fully climbed out of the water.
‘Oh, come on,’ she groaned as she looked down at the towel.
‘What?’ Arawn asked. ‘What is it?’
‘Nothing of your concern,’ Ezer growled. The towel was too damned small. It hung not even halfway down her upper thighs, revealing far too much skin.
She needed to get out of here.
‘Are you decent?’ he asked. ‘The torch is going to melt my face if I don’t back away, Minder.’
‘Decent enough,’ she said, damning the servant now for having taken her clothes. She’d take the raphon stink over this … this moment, both of them half naked and alone in the dark.
Arawn turned, his face almost pained from the heat.
They locked eyes for a second before he cleared his throat and looked away again.
But she saw enough.
Her jaw dropped.
It wasn’t because of his muscles, nor how low that tiny towel hung on his hips, revealing the telltale V she’d seen in her dreams. Gods, why did it make her skin warm, why did it make a strange little quiver turn in her stomach?
And it wasn’t because of the enormous pectorals and biceps he had, and the way the steam was rolling down his skin like sweat, like—
Stop it, she told herself. This isn’t one of your godsdamned dreams!
But she couldn’t look away from him. There were penance scars upon his chest, which were all older than Zey’s – like they’d branded him into submission long, long ago.
All of the above would have given her pause.
But her eyes were stuck on the enormous scar he had, still angry and raised, that spanned from his collarbone to his waistline. A scar large enough it practically split him in two.
‘I’ll go,’ he said, still looking off into the steam.
His jaw twitched, and his hands curled into fists.
If she didn’t know any better, she’d think he was uncomfortable.
Miserable, actually. Her cheeks warmed, and something that felt like disappointment crossed her mind.
‘Take the space. I’ll bathe in the dormitories tonight. ’
He turned away.
‘Wait,’ Ezer blurted.
She truly hadn’t meant to, but she couldn’t stop herself. He turned back, his eyes expectant.
He was staring at her face.
Quite pointedly at her face, like he didn’t dare look away, and the expression on his own was almost pained.
‘What happened?’ she asked. ‘Your scar.’
He slowly looked down. This time, at his own body, where it looked like he’d been split open and sewn back together again.
‘War,’ he said.
She raised a brow and held the towel tighter around herself. ‘Arawn.’
He flinched at his name on her lips.
‘The truth, in exchange for trust, remember? It’s your turn.’
‘I …’ He looked pained when he swallowed, like he had rocks in his throat. And then he met her eyes. ‘I made a terrible mistake.’
‘Tell me?’ She swallowed. ‘Please.’
He wiped sweat from his brow.
‘Three months ago, one of my aerie riders took an eagle without clearance. She went rogue, trying to cross the Expanse on her own.’
‘Why?’ Ezer asked.
Zey’s face flashed in her mind.
‘Because she was searching for answers,’ Arawn said. ‘Searching for something she thought she might find on the other side. She was speaking of strange things, hiding something from me, and …’
‘What sort of things?’
He shook his head. ‘Places far away. Another world. She showed me a book, something she wanted me to see, but … the book was empty when I opened it.’
‘Empty?’
A curious feeling came over her, as she thought of Zey’s book.
Arawn nodded. ‘I feared for her life. For her mind. When she ran … I went after her. She’d settled into her pillar late, wasn’t ready to face the darksouls alone.
Night fell just before she reached the Sawteeth, and the battle began.
A darksoul attacked her and severed her eagle’s wing.
She crashed. I made it to the ground before the wolves swarmed us.
There were too many. And there was nothing I could do. ’
His voice broke, and Ezer’s heart did a terrible twinge. Today was full of awful revelations.
‘I tried to bring her back to Alaris, but it was too late. The wolves were closing in, and I had to fly away. I had to …’ He took a shuddering breath. ‘I had to leave her behind. So that I, the future of Lordach, could survive.’
His eyes were downcast. Terrible, the expression on his face.
He looked like he hated himself.
‘I went back after the battle ended, to recover her by sunrise. To bury her the way she deserved. But when I got there … she was gone. I found the site; I could see the blood in the snow.’ His voice broke. ‘And now … now she fights on the Acolyte’s side.’
It was silent for quite some time. She watched the rise and fall of his chest, watched the way he seemed to let the grief wash over him, before he forced it away.
‘How?’ Ezer asked.
He shrugged. ‘The Acolyte’s magic is dark. A terrible thing. We’re told not to leave the victims behind, because the Acolyte … he has the power to bring the wounded back from the edge, with a loyalty so strong, they don’t fear death any longer.’
That was news to her.
And it made the Acolyte all the more terrifying.
‘What was her name?’ Ezer asked.
His eyes met hers, and they looked so utterly sad. ‘Soraya. She was betrothed to Kinlear.’
Of course.
That name … she’d heard it countless times now, spoken between Kinlear and Arawn like a curse.
An untouchable thing.
It all made sense now, why they seemed to hate each other. Why they stiffened in one another’s presence.
‘I failed her,’ Arawn said. ‘I could have trained her harder, could have paid more attention, and—’