Chapter 31 #2
‘The raphons aren’t what you think they are,’ Ezer said.
He frowned. ‘And neither are you.’
‘What?’
He locked eyes with her. ‘Do you remember the stories I used to share with you at night? When the wind was cold, and the nightmares drew near?’
‘I don’t want to talk about stories,’ Ezer spat. ‘I want the truth, Ervos. All of it. Now.’
‘I’m trying to tell you the truth!’ he hissed. ‘The stories. Which was your favorite, Ezer?’
She knew the answer at once. ‘Wrenwyn.’
He nodded, eyes wide. ‘Yes, Little Bird. Wrenwyn the Wrong. She was Erath’s – your father’s – blood. Far back in his line. So … that makes her half your blood.’
But that was impossible. Because Wrenwyn was royalty, a princess from long ago. And …
‘Erath wasn’t a prince. He was just another Sacred,’ Ezer said.
He stepped closer to the bars. ‘Because Wrenwyn Lavor was stripped of her title, long ago. Her brothers never bore a living heir, and the family line died out. The Laroux rose to power then … so says the written history. But the stories – the ones passed on in private – say Wrenwyn did survive. She’d become a martyr of sorts, a beacon …
and Erath was just another fool who fell prey to her lies. ’
‘The lies of what?’ Ezer asked.
‘The darkness,’ Ervos said. ‘The Acolyte’s call.
She lived, Ezer, an entire life beyond the Citadel, and when she grew old, she returned and brought with her a book.
It was one of secret symbols, full of lies that have stained the truth of the gods.
She claimed there was something better out there.
Something more powerful.’ His hands were shaking as he curled them over the bars.
His fingernails had been pried away. ‘Your father had her blood, Ezer. And he died trying to find what Wrenwyn wrote about. Your mother died for it, too.’
She’d seen it play out, in her memories.
‘She was safe where I took her. She should have been happy. But there she went anyways, packing to go north to the Sawteeth when the wolves came. She was going to take you, too. To run towards a danger far worse than the Masters.’ He swallowed.
‘So, I stopped her. I protected you from her … I kept you safe. Like I promised I would.’
She didn’t know what he was saying.
But she felt like she was going to be sick.
‘What did you do to my mother?’ she breathed.
‘She did it to herself,’ he snarled.
He shook his head and slammed his hands against his skull.
‘I tried to erase it,’ he said. ‘I tried to forget that night. But it’s haunted me every day since.’ He started to cry. ‘I protected you.’ A whimper. ‘I kept my promise to my Styerra.’
Her whole body was cold.
This was wrong, something in his eyes was utterly wrong.
‘The past is done. Styerra is finally free of the lies. The false love. What I had for her was true.’
No.
It wasn’t love.
He looked wild, mad.
He looked … like a man plagued by obsession.
‘All the days we went to the census, I removed your name. I kept you safe. And when I left … I made a deal that the prison master would keep you away from the north. He broke it, took his coin for putting your name in the draft. You aren’t supposed to be here.’
She gasped.
‘You …’ She shook her head. ‘You told him to keep me there? A prisoner? Working for years in your place?’
‘Of course I did,’ he said. ‘You loved the birds. You were happy, Ezer.’
‘I was alone!’ she yelled at him. ‘You abandoned me!’
‘I did what I had to do,’ he said. There was no regret in his voice, in his eyes. ‘And now it is your turn. I’ve heard the stories. I know about the mysterious Minder from the south, who plans to travel north … to kill the Acolyte.’ He shook his head. ‘You cannot go, Ezer.’
‘Why not?’ she asked.
‘Because you are blood of Wrenwyn!’ he shouted. ‘A child of two traitors who laid down their vows to the gods. They killed Erath as penance. They nearly killed Styerra, too. But I kept her safe … and her fledgling who was never meant to be.’
It took everything in her not to wish him dead right now.
He took a wheezing breath.
‘I broke the laws for you. For her. The gods have been punishing me for it ever since. You are not strong enough, Little Bird, to resist the call that your mother and father died trying to answer.’
‘You think me weak?’ Ezer asked.
‘No,’ he said. ‘I think you share blood with the ones who believed the lies in the Shadow Tome. And blood, it seems, is often stronger than common sense.’
She’d not heard that name before.
‘I think Wrenwyn was telling one truth,’ Ervos said.
‘I think … it was the Acolyte, that dark power, that called to her. But it was not a safe space to find freedom. It was a trick, and whatever Wrenwyn did in her time away … I think she’s the one that unlocked it.
I think she set the Acolyte free, and now thousands are dead because of it.
Thousands more will die, if we do not win this war. ’
‘Which is exactly why I must go north!’ Ezer growled.
‘No,’ he said. ‘This is my fault. All my fault. I shouldn’t have interfered; I should have let the Masters do what they must …’
Her whole body had gone cold.
‘If you hadn’t, I would be dead,’ Ezer whispered. ‘Do you truly believe I did not deserve to exist?’
‘No,’ he said. ‘I don’t know, Little Bird, oh gods, forgive me.
’ He shook his head and banged his fists against his skull.
‘I was blinded by love for Styerra. I was blinded by a different love when I got to know you. I saved you, and that makes me a sinner, too.’ He was weeping now. ‘This is my penance.’
She didn’t know what he was talking about.
She felt like she was watching a man with half a mind.
‘You cannot go north,’ Ervos said. ‘Because the Acolyte will take you. He will see what you are, the blood of Wrenwyn, the first to believe. And he’ll turn you, too. You need to run south, get as far as you can from his call. Before it’s too late.’
She backed a step away, shaking her head. ‘You stole everything from me. My life. My family.’
‘I am your family,’ Ervos hissed. ‘I protected you. I—’
‘I hope you rot in here,’ Ezer breathed. ‘I hope you die knowing that Styerra’s child hates you for what you did.’
He started to cry again, shaking his head.
‘Please, Little Bird,’ he said.
She curled a tight fist over her mother’s ring. ‘I’m not a little bird anymore, Ervos. I found my wings. And I’m going to ride my raphon across the Expanse. And prove you wrong when I destroy the Acolyte.’ She took a deep, settling breath. ‘Goodbye.’
He was already dead to her, already gone.
Perhaps … he’d never been real at all.
‘No,’ Ervos shouted after her. ‘Ezer!’
She kept walking.
He beat his fists against the bars. He rattled the door, screaming her name.
‘Don’t let him take you, too! EZER!’
She left him in the darkness, a wailing ghost.
And not a single tear slid down her face.